amtrak - Gawker

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Ride the Great American Satan Train to the Land of Prosperity
Joe Biden, Call Your Office
Have Gun, Will Travel Could be Horrific Reality
Dr. Phil To Ride Amtrak Around For Some Reason, Next Month
Whoopi Goldberg to Glenn Beck: 'You're a Lying Sack of Dog Mess'

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Anderson Evans
10/28/09

In reply to Ride the Great American Satan Train to the Land of Prosperity
(Let's try this again)... I always get more inspiration from the British Broadcasting Company when it comes to music video that inspires me financially. #trendwatch
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SidAndFinancy
10/28/09

In reply to Ride the Great American Satan Train to the Land of Prosperity
But the Acela loses money at twice* that rate!

* Actual performance may vary. #trendwatch
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Brad Brown
10/28/09

In reply to Ride the Great American Satan Train to the Land of Prosperity
Let me be clear - I think the best way to help the unemployed is to encourage them to hide behind the topiary outside Bunker Hill Community College, and then ambush Winston Chin when he exits at 2:35 A.M. He will have an iPhone, books, and 2 kidneys - those will fetch at least $1000 on eBay. That's at least one job saved or created, if you axe me.
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SidAndFinancy promoted this comment Edited by Brad Brown at 10/28/09 3:55 PM Brad Brown was starred Brad Brown was unstarred

Cynner
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
Did *anyone* twitter that their *toot toot* was broke?
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Smitros
10/05/09

@Cynner:
Sounds like a Bat Signal for dealers.
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BxgrlJeri
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
I was once on an Amtrak train (BTW, I love Amtrak in a Joe Biden kinda way) and a squirrel decided to commit suicide by plummeting onto the train's switching station or some such thing. (I remember lots of jokes about fried squirrel).

I still love Amtrak, especially the older trains when they're empty at night and no one is yelling into their cell phone.
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Swifter
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
I was stuck in Baltimore for six years, but I did develop a taste for Old Bay Seasoning.
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hfree
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
How is Amtrak being broken today different from any other day? It's just broke worse. (but seriously, sucks to be the people on those trains)
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Spirit Fingers
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
As someone who was once on a train from Baltimore to Boston when it struck someone or, uh, vice versa (won't go into detail on what that moment was like, yeesh.) and these were the days before texting, tweeting, and all other various forms of telling people in quick shouty bursts what just freaking happened two seconds ago! (2004) all we were able to do was listen to our battery operated Discmans, use our Nokia cell phones to tell people what happened the old fashioned way, and watch people meltdown from simultaneous boredom and incredulity that the actual physical impact of a human being on a locomotive could delay 3pm drinks on the Upper East Side.
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Edited by Spirit Fingers at 10/05/09 5:43 PM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred

raincoaster
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
Hating Toronto is a Canadian national passtime, but I must say if you're ever stuck on a train, pray it's with a bunch of Torontonians. Truly one of the most memorable nights of fun of my entire life, even WITH the repeating Stomping Tom singalong at one end of the car.
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dado
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
Now I got a job, but it don't pay.
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onebadclam
10/05/09

@dado: Well, I ride on a mailtrain, baby.
Can't buy a thrill
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Airvault
10/05/09

@dado:
When the train pulled out the station
It had two lights on behind.
The blue light was my baby
And the red light was my mind
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onebadclam
10/05/09

@Airvault: Casey Jones, texting on his cellphone.
Casey Jones, tweetin' to his friends.
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dado
10/05/09

@onebadclam: Mental wounds not healing, life's a bitter shame.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
10/05/09

@dado: i need new clothes, need somewhere to stay
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Btwbfdimho
10/05/09

@Airvault:
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Smitros
10/05/09

@dado:
My name is Sharif, and I approved this thread.
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Airvault
10/05/09

@Btwbfdimho:
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Lymed
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
Of course it would be way too much to suggest that somebody trying to get from Philadelphia to Baltimore might rent a car and drive.
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rubyruby
10/05/09

@Lymed: I've been on broken amtrak trains before. they don't let you off. you just sit there for 4 hours, not moving, in new haven connecticut (or rye, ny-- i've been trapped twice) wondering why the hell you ever decided to move to boston. it's hard to rent a car when you can't disembark.
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Lymed
10/05/09

@rubyruby: I misinterpreted "stuck in Baltimore" to mean stuck at the train station in Baltimore. I also somehow got it backward. I like to call this comment fail.
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MrInBetween
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
I thought people only tried in vain to get out of Philadelphia.
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rubyruby
10/05/09

@MrInBetween: you're hilarious. what next? people from the south talk funny? seattle residents are tree-huggers? new yorkers are elistist? need i go on?
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
10/05/09

@MrInBetween: Ah yes--echoing the sentiments of the immortal WC Fields. First prize, a week in Philadelphia. Second prize, two weeks!
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son of spam
10/05/09

@rubyruby: Don't go on. No need to repeat yourself.
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Caius
10/05/09

@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): Third Prize, two weeks in Philadelphia and a date with Arthur Kade (note: only 8's and above may enter this contest).
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son of spam
10/05/09

In reply to Joe Biden, Call Your Office
Not a great day for the guy hit by the train either.
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krasny
09/17/09

In reply to Have Gun, Will Travel Could be Horrific Reality
Horrifying? I hope you do a followup post saying how wrong you are. Also, you might want to mention that you could do this before 2004. Did you really avoid Amtrak back then?

There is really no reason NOT to support this. Give me one scenario where this could turn out bad.
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skahammer
09/18/09

@krasny: Unloaded, locked guns placed on board a crowded commuter train are retrieved, unlocked, loaded, and used to hold hostage hundreds of commuters at rush hour, with one passenger executed by multiple gunshots every ten minutes in full view of television cameras, until the U.S. government agrees to withdraw all forces from the Arabian peninsula, cease all drone aircraft flights from airbases in Central Asia, and withdraw loan guarantees to Israel that in effect help to extend credit to Israeli settlers in the West Bank.
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krasny
09/28/09

@skahammer: Hundreds of commuters retrieve their guns, unlock them, load them and shoot the hijacker.
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WenonaKolling
09/17/09

In reply to Have Gun, Will Travel Could be Horrific Reality
If any one did a bit of searching on this, they would find that all weapons would be locked up in storage on the train. Inaccessible to the owner or others. Same way hunters travel with hunting weapons on planes.
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