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Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need

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BookishLatkeish
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
Vom. I'd sooner cut off my rightie than watch that! #livestream
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CODiva
11/11/09

@BookishLookish: I'm withya on that. Let's have the Hollywood version, svp, of the infant popping out in a Lilly onesie. #livestream
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BookishLatkeish
11/11/09

@CODiva: Oh, CO, if only the world were run by you.

Six years ago today I pushed out my own rugrat. One of the ob/gyn residents, a darling young thing, asked me if I wanted a mirror to see "the crowning head." Vom! Ur, no thanks, just let me know when he has slid all the way out. That will signal the cocktail hour, thanks! #livestream
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TroisFilles
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
Betty Draper had the right idea. Twilight. And not the movie.

Says the commenter who had her kids sans drugs. And sans camera. No icky "Look, Ma! My cervix is the size of an English muffin!" shots for me.

PS: Young ladies, that's how labor was described to me. Your cervix is the size of a Cheerio normally. It dilates to the size of an English muffin. Enjoy your breakfast... #livestream
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pureblarney
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
It disgusts me that this woman (or at least, presumably, the father) is of Norwegian descent. Please to be getting your icky lack of boundaries away. Enda en norsk fitte (på TV!)... akkurat det vi trenger. Dra meg baklengs inn i fuglekassa.
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Edited by pureblarney at 11/11/09 3:22 AM pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred

kappakappaspankme
11/11/09

@pureblarney: O.o

I thought "fitte" had a stronger connotation (or at least it does in Swedish). #livestream
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pureblarney
11/11/09

@kappakappaspankme: It means "cunt," pretty much like in English. (If it seems wrong to call a formerly pregnant lady that, it's because there's really something wrong here.) #livestream
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kappakappaspankme
11/11/09

@pureblarney: Thanks for the confirmation. I'm aware that most words have similar definitions in Scandinavian languages and wanted to ensure that when I am profusely swearing at a Norwegian, I'm doing so accordingly.

Having just dropped a spore recently, I remain absolutely confused about one's burning desire to make childbirth a three ring circus replete with AV staff, every single family member within a 30 mile radius and the desire to make it available for public consumption. People have no sense of boundaries, do they? #livestream
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QueenCeleste
11/11/09

@kappakappaspankme: Let me just take a moment to agree with you wholeheartedly on that. Having gone through this experience twice, I am still gobsmacked by people who invite the whole frigging family in. What the hell must Thanksgiving with the in-laws be like after they've seen you pushing a baby from your fitte? Jeez... #livestream
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bboston88
11/11/09

@kappakappaspankme: I did not want anyone around me, why you would want that big camera in your vagina is beyond me. I would have karate kicked it if anyone brought that thing near me at that time. Luckily my husband and I have a sense of boundaries. We didn't even take pictures, how old-school! #livestream
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quickqueenof
11/11/09

@kappakappaspankme: I heartily concur. Whilst giving birth I kept my view up at the ceiling and on my hubs and doc, just like God intended. #livestream
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kappakappaspankme
11/11/09

@QueenCeleste, @bboston88, @quickqueenof:

During those lovely parenting classes, people asked the most daft questions. How many people are allowed in the delivery room? How many people can visit? Can my husband tape it?

By the third question I got so annoyed that a loud "Good grief!" escaped along with a head shake and an eye roll. I wasn't very popular after that.

Really - people don't bring the entire family out for an appendectomy or tonsillectomy. Why would they bring a box of tools to this - an actual medical procedure? I feel really sorry for the nurses in L & D. #livestream
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Magister
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
And I thought the photos of the "Bradley Method" made me feel uncomfortable.
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Edited by Magister at 11/11/09 2:53 AM Magister was starred Magister was unstarred

bboston88
11/11/09

@Magister: Did you have to watch those 70s natural birth, bush-fests? Horrifying. #livestream
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Duck_Lips
11/11/09

@bboston88: I was once invited to a home birth in San Francisco in 1979. The mother, also a Scandinavian, was 20 and photographs from the "birth-in" included an artsy shot of the afterbirth in a pot the father had thrown. I still can't get it out of my mind. #livestream
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Magister
11/11/09

@bboston88: Luckily I got to skip the films because it was hundreds of miles to the class, but the photos in the book were all hairy wonders and for some reason, the father wasn't wearing a shirt. #livestream
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meerkat
11/11/09

@bboston88: In film school we were subjected to a bizarre amount of live birth footage. As a result I was never able to even think about having kids. #livestream
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heywhat
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
I don't think she seemed freaked out. I thought it was relief and elation. And is it normal to give birth in near darkness? Is that better for the mother and the baby? #livestream
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kappakappaspankme
11/11/09

@heywhat: For what it's worth, the only lights on in the delivery room when I delivered Milkface were those used specifically for the birth and neonate equipment. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be better but I preferred having low light (or low anything stimulating).
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Edited by kappakappaspankme at 11/11/09 3:46 AM kappakappaspankme was starred

Dr. Nick
11/11/09

@kappakappaspankme: you turned the lights down so you could focus on "Rock You Like A Hurricane" blaring on the boombox, right? #livestream
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cocodevaux
11/11/09

@heywhat: also think, dramatic lighting for your one hour and fifteen minutes of fame! #livestream
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kappakappaspankme
11/11/09

@Dr. Nick: Nothing but the best for the Milky one. #livestream
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raincoaster
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
J*l*a A*l*s*n is soooooo jealous right now. #livestream
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tewkesbury
11/11/09

In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
wow. All this plus they gave him a girl's name. Way to get him off to a good start, Gannetts. #livestream
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pureblarney
11/11/09

Redacted!
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Edited by pureblarney at 11/11/09 3:34 AM pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred

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