Want a bigger penis? Too lazy to buy a penis pump? Reality star Andrew Christian has the product for you: Shock Jock Flirt Brief with Male Features—undies with a fake penis to wear over your real penis.

The issue of fancy men's underwear is still threatening to undermine this great country. Andrew Christian has unveiled his new, horrific men's underwear with Flashback Butt-Lifting and Contouring Technology. He promises that it "gives men the illusion of having a sought-after "bubble butt" without having to spend…