A man in Decatur, Ill. is being held on charges of attempted murder and domestic battery after he allegedly tried to murder his roommate on Wednesday when she admitted to him that she'd eaten three single Chips Ahoy cookies for breakfast. The news of the cookie consumption apparently sent him into a rage.

Glenn Beck announced yesterday that he would personally help finance and deliver "tractor-trailers full of food, water, teddy bears and soccer balls" to the 60,000 underage undocumented immigrants detained at the U.S.-Mexico border. And some conservatives are going apeshit on him.

Police in South Carolina say that a woman threatened to shoot everyone in a Burger King restaurant after she was served a stale cinnamon roll. (Shocking not only because of the obvious, but also because "stale cinnamon roll" is still a fairly appetizing phrase.)

In a study of 200,000 users of Weibo (China’s version of Twitter), researchers at Beihang University in China have concluded that “anger is more powerful than other emotions” when it comes to the spread of information online. Basically, anger is viral.

For those of you who are not devout followers of the British higher education blogosphere, allow us to bring you up to speed: UK professors are strongly opposed to the rude idea of students expressing opinions about UK professors.

Everyone is mad about Instagram changing its terms of services to allow it to sell your photos to advertisers without your knowledge. Now Instagram users have started a hashtag movement on Twitter, the internet equivalent of "actually doing something about it."

The internet is a rough and tumble place. To survive here, you must be rough and tough, steady under fire, thick-skinned. That's why most bloggers are known to be dashing but intimidating "tough guy" types, menacing to dudes but irresistible to women. Sadly, not everyone is cut out for this harsh environment.

University of Iowa professor and pretentious troll-journalist Stephen Bloom recently wrote an article in The Atlantic mocking Iowa as a backward, hick-filled state full of people smoking meth out of corncobs (paraphrasing). Which it is, probably! (Never been there personally, thank god.) But now Stephen Bloom has…

We're still monitoring Mitt Romney for the moment in which his bottled-up frustrations rise to an unsustainable level and he explodes, in triumphant fashion. But what would it look like? Well, there'd be body parts to go along with the machine parts laying all over the place, of course, since it would be an explosion.…

Yesterday morning, a tipster pointed us to this Twitter posting about our favorite New York Post sex and hatred columnist: "Just saw Andrea Peyser say "Fuck you!" to a man questioning her attempted ambushing of a man who dared to (gasp!) bring a child to #OWS." Then another tipster sent us this photo of Andrea looking…

Australopithecus sediba! Wildfire science! Real jetpacks! Persuasion methods! Solar properties Petrified forest! Heavenly metals! Anger cooperation! And Hummingbird mating techniques that drive lady hummingbirds bazonga! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—voodoo, doo doo, woo hoo!

Americans: what are they fed up with now? Mexicans? Thuggish pro athletes? All those potholes? Well, let's see, sez here... America itself.

Today, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D - Fla.), the chair of the Democratic National Committee, made a speech against the "Cut, Cap and Balance" bill that just passed the House. It was pretty mild! Less mild was the response of Rep. Allen West (R - Fla.), who sent Wasserman-Schultz an email. A very intense email,…

There are so many reasons to have security cameras in liquor stores—for security, obviously, but, maybe more importantly, to capture those life-affirming moments when dozens of bottles fall to the floor and shatter in an indescribably satisfying way.

Last November, Rep. Bob Filner (D - Cali.) was re-elected to Congress. The supporters of Tea Party-backed Republican Nick Popaditch sure were gracious in defeat, though! Except for when they screamed "Jew" at Filner and spat at him.

The Way We Live Now: in a permanent state of barely-controlled fury. Foreclosure furor! Holiday whirlwind! The heart-stopping ups and downs of IMF projections! Recovery is a roller coaster, on an elevator, dropped from a balloon, that just popped.

The story: This morning the HuffPo speculates that lover, crooner, fighter John Mayer might be getting back with Jennifer Aniston, based on things said at a concert. Mayer then responds, says everything's out of context, and invents exciting new phrases.