The egg industry's currently engaging in a war on "useless" male chicks, who (duh) produce no eggs. And, like all wars, this one has casualties: cute, innocent, fuzzy, absolutely precious casualties.

We like to avail ourselves of the Freedom of Information of Act now and again, because sometimes we find FBI memos about how the Green Party is a terrorist organization because we don't get too many libruls here in Georgia.

Dog Snuggies are here.

Lilly the five-legged puppy was born to be a star. But some misguided "dog lover" types are determined to see to it that she never achieves her Freak Show career dream! You monsters.

Che Guevara's granddaughter Lydia has graciously decided to start a "vegetarian revolution" by posing for PETA with "the torso naked, covered only by a sling loaded with carrots as bullets." Good for her! As Che himself once said:

PETA ads: sometimes ill-advised, often nonsensical, frequently stupid, always predictable. But at least they were trying. Not any more. They went ahead and hired strippers.

You cokeheads just don't listen to reason. So the government tried metaphors. Remember when they cracked an egg, representing your brain, into a sizzling frying pan, representing drugs, to indicate that drugs will "fry" your brain? Years after that, it turns out that people are still doing drugs! Now the UK government…

Is this the end of monkey ads? The nonprofit Ad Council—which makes all those famous public service ads you see everywhere—has agreed not to use any more "great apes" in its ads. No chimpanzees or orangutans! Not only that, but the CEOs of dozens of major advertisers and ad agencies sit on the Ad Council's board, and…

PETA, the perpetually outraged animal rights group, is very upset that the New York Times Magazine ran a fashion photo shoot last weekend featuring bees. "The entire world is talking about the fact that bees are dying off—The New York Times has even reported on it—and yet The New York Times Magazine does a fashion…

PETA, the animal rights group skilled at making potential supporters forget about its cause because of all the nude women writhing around at the anti-fur PR stunts, is putting up a million-dollar prize for the first researcher who comes up with a good way to make meat in test tubes. Ahhhhhh! Throwupthrowupthrowup.…

Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, a chimp-rights group, is assailing Sports Illustrated with a vicious letter-writing campaign! The group is upset that the magazine used a macaque (FANCY WORD FOR "MONKEY") and a bear in its photo shoot for this year's Swimsuit Issue [Folio]. S.I. is like, whoa! We take care of the…