Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz yesterday called Apple’s offshore tax(-evasion) practices “a fraud,” which is very rude to Tim Cook who seems like such a nice man.
Companies Are Stashing So Much God Damn Cash Overseas
A new report from Moody’s says that major U.S. companies are sitting on as much as $1.2 trillion in cash held overseas—hey, that’s enough to pay our national credit card bill!
Apple Has a Work Around if a Court Orders Them to Unlock San Bernardino Shooter's iPhone: Everyone Quits
Even if a court does force Apple to create software that would unlock an encrypted iPhone, it might have some trouble enforcing it: Some engineers tell the New York Times they would sooner quit their jobs.
Justice Wants Apple to Unlock at Least Twelve Other iPhones
The Justice Department is seeking court orders that would force Apple to help it bypass the security features on at least twelve other iPhones not connected to terrorism cases, the Wall Street Journal reports.
Tim Cook's Plan to Stop ISIS Probably Not As Good As Steve Jobs's Would Have Been
Later today, White House officials will be meeting with tech industry experts to brainstorm ways to counter ISIS’s wildly successful online recruiting tactics. Tim Cook will also be there.
American Zombies Crave the Leadership of Brands
People in the USA are fed up with these Washington politicians who don’t care about folks like us. We want to be led by those we really believe in: brands.
Looks Like Tim Cook Saw That Atrocious Video of the Apple Store Kicking Out Black Teens
Employees ejected a group of black teens from a Melbourne, Australia, Apple Store this week, telling them that store staff were “just worried you might steal something.” One of the boys, Francis Ose, posted a video of the incident on Facebook with the title “Simply Racism—made them apologize tho.”
How to Fix iMessage’s Read Receipts: A Proposal

If you’ve ever used iMessage, the proprietary messaging platform for Apple devices such as the iPhone, you’ve probably developed an opinion (or a refined lack of opinion) about its “read receipts” feature. They’re based on a simple idea—what if you could automatically notify people that you had seen their…
Apple's Newest Software Update Will Shut Off Your iPhone Alarm While You Sleep
Instead of waking up this morning to the proprietary echoing blip of the iPhone’s default alarm tone, a bunch of iPhone owners awoke this week to find the alarms they set had been turned off. Why? How? What the fuck happened?
Apple Appears To Have Deactivated News App in China
Apparently, the New York Times reports, access to the Apple News app, which was announced in June and may or may not contain the secret to the future of journalism, has been disabled in China.
Apple: Drone Strikes Are Offensive, Farts and Poop Are Cool
Apple has for many years attempted to project its incoherent definition of decency onto iPhone users, typically when it comes to sex. But as of today, we know that news about killer drone strikes is too hot for the App Store, too.
At the end of the day, our impossible Apple quiz seems to have proven there’s no way to tell the difference between the iPhone hype of 2015 and the iPhone hype of 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, or 2014. And that three of you are dirty cheaters. Here are the results.
Fuck Your Apple Announcement Hype
In a post from a few days ago that could just have easily been written at any point over the past seven years, Mashable proclaimed that Apple might be working on a thinner iPhone. No shit. New things are better than old things. Upgrades are made with better parts and built to be more efficient. This will happen every.…
Impossible Quiz: Which Year Were These Quotes About the Year's New iPhone Written?
Every year since 2007, Apple has held an event to unveil its new iPhone. And every year since 2007, professional technology reporters have fallen over themselves to tell you how Apple’s latest gadget is just like the one you already have, but a little bit better. This version is “not a game-changer,” they’ll write,…
