Nothing is more American than an enormous refrigerator, or dishwasher, an energy-guzzling monstrosity performing the basic service of making our lives a little easier, because we. Are. Americans. Is it time to panic over the decline in the American way of appliances?

A London man called the London Fire Brigade to report that his penis was stuck in a toaster. While the firefighters were not given a sufficient explanation as to how his dick ended up in the appliance, they were able to safely extricate the organ.

Americans: Why are we so nasty? Appliance scientists (appliantists) say that our average countrymen only clean their refrigerators once or twice a year—which is once or twice more than you do. We just don't know what we're doing, fridge-wise.