There are so many times (One occurred today) that I hear Papa Kade's words to me, "You have chosen a hard and lonely path to walk", where I realize that despite all the fame, the celeb status, the vagina that's thrown in my face like Water Ice, and the awards and money that I will soon have, that this is a road that Arthur Kade walks alone, but today is one of those days where I know that god tests me to be the biggest and most famous actor and writer in the world, and communicates and says, "Brand, make the hard choices now, so that you can make easy ones later on when you have touched Little Oscar".

Btw he's gonna be at "Art Basil," so, ladies?
[Pic via]

A girl who I had almost fucked in a bathroom one night at another club (I gave her massive finger penetration) a couple months ago came up to me in the Mogul Room and said, "Someone told me you're getting a TV show.", and I responded, "I am also authoring an award winning book", but I remember she didn't smell so fresh downstairs when we hooked up and looked like she put on a solid 15, so I turned right back around. A girl must always be fresh downstairs because that is one of my biggest pet peeves and if I do an "oil check" and it's not super fresh, I'll ask her to leave.

with The Drought having hit 8 months, and having gone 8 for 8 the last 3 weeks in hooking up with girls and not having penal insertion, it is really testing my patience that I may have to bend over and maybe compromise my values to do this "Dinner thing".

And then he does this freestyle as "The Kween." That bad.

First, Arthur Kade's harrowing experience.

today while in the gym for the second time with one of my good friends (I had just taken his NO2 supplement at his house), I started feeling lightheaded and my heart was racing, and I actually pulled him into the locker room because I thought I was having a heart attack. It's amazing what you think about when you may be dying, and what went through my mind was in this order: 1) I can't let millions around the world down, 2) I wonder what the media will say about this if I land in the hospital in front of the Gen Pop, so I need to do this in private, and 3) I can't let this happen when I am about to make millions, I can have any girl I want being Arthur Kade, and I am clearly on my way to Little Oscar.

I think we echo all of humanity's sentiments when we say: Don't go with the cheap stuff, dude—make sure you take genuine NO-Xplode. Hardcore pumps and smooth, even energy that still gets you crucially ripped.

The other exciting news: Emily Brill, the Ultimate Narrator of the internet's pre-Kade era, may be making a comeback. She tells us via email (in response to our question): "I've gone back to writing. I'm working on a book, but there's nothing official to report. It's a recent decision."

Fameballs: Don't act like you do not care for them.

Saw Arthur Kade goose-stepping his way through the 34th Street 123 station at 5:45 PM. He has the strangest walk; he puffs out his chest and thrusts his hips out. The overall effect is that of someone with something down the back of their pants. He was eating something doughy and chewing with his mouth open.

Thanks, alert reader C! Arthur was visiting our humble burg for his "Biggest Audition Yet," which makes him a little weepy:

I spoke to my dad who was getting a colonoscopy (It must suck to have some tube thrown in your ass) today, and told him, "Do you realize that your son is famous?", and he joked back, "I'm happy that you keep telling me", and it was one of those special father-son moments that makes me realize that the Kade bond between us is what has allowed me more than anything to become a budding superstar, and knowing that my dad watches "The Journey" and probably thinks, "My son is a once in a lifetime talent", is what keeps me going through the tough times because in the end I want to take care of my parents and buy them houses in Palm Beach to retire at.

Arthur Kade is the internet's best writer since Emily Brill.
[Watch the above video at once.]

My trainer and I were walking in the protein aisle of the store today and noticed a VERY fat mother with an even fatter child and I said to him, ‘Please explain to me how that happens? I want to take the kid, and throw him into a boot camp in Florida, and make him work it off in a week by making him run, work-out, and starve him", and he responded, "Maybe it's just baby fat and he will get thinner over time", and I got angry and said, "Judging by the mother, I would say, ""Don't Bet on it, so I am going to say something to her"" and he stopped me because I was running late. I became so enraged because I am still not sure if I want to have children, but think it would be a good idea to reproduce and create a Kade Style legacy (I want to have a child who replaces me like Charlie Sheen did for Martin) because I would be the best parent and give my child everything I didn't have (I would want my child to have my genetics with looks, depth, and charm, but the mother's warmth and sensuality, and I have even considered auditioning women that I think have a cool look so that I could create a "Mixed/Mulatto" kid, so that he can look super unique and carry on my acting tradition. I think because I am Italian/Greek Looking ,it would be great to mate me with a Black or Asian girl and see what happens), and if I had one I would make sure it works out twice a day, goes to the best schools, dates the hottest girls/boys, and most of all lives it's dream like it's father. I wanted to take the mother and shake her and say, "Look at your fat kid!!!!, He's disgusting like you!!!", and then push her cart to the Dieting section and buy her the food I want her to buy him to eat.

And then he posted a photo of the lady and child in question! I'm really starting to respect this guy's work.

And luckily for you, the people doing the extras casting for the Sex and the City sequel are actively seeking fresh bodies. The breakdown includes requests for many people who fit squarely into the Gawker reader demographic (except for professional soccer players...we doubt they even read Deadspin), so here's the casting notice they sent out today:

Grant Wilfley Casting is holding an open call for background performers for SEX AND THE CITY 2.

Seeking SAG and NON SAG to play:

Fashion Models, Celebrity types, Upscale Socialites, Fashionistas, Urban Club goers, Gays and Lesbians, International types (Middle Eastern, Arabic, Asian, European, British), Professional Soccer Players.

Open Call:

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Metropolitan Pavilion

125 West 18th Street

between 6th & 7th Avenues.

SAG: 10am- 12:30pm

NON-SAG: 1:30p-4:00p

Email a recent picture and contact info to: sexandthecity2@gwcnyc.com if you cannot attend the open call.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and make those crazy silver screen dreams come true! Be sure to say hello to our pal aspiring dominant actor Arthur Kade for us when you see him standing in the line at the casting. And of course, don't be shy about filling us in on the whole experience, okay?!

According to our tipster:

I just heard on the radio here in Philly that Arthur Kade and another Philly born celebrity Richie Rosati just signed on to do a new Philly reality tv show called "I'm a Philebrity, Get Me Out Of Here".

It's supposed to also star Philly famous band G-Love and Special Sauce and another famed Philadelphian but not sure who?

We can find nothing in the news about this, and it could well be a total farce, since not even A to the K himself has blogged about it yet. He's staying focused:

I ran into my new boy, Mickey Rourke (I am compared to him a lot because we both don't really care what people think, and are considered sex symbols early in our careers, but I have to make sure I control myself because he is am animal), who I said hello to and chilled with for a hot minute, and I think he appreciated the attention that a rising superstar like Arthur Kade gave him, showing him that the new generation of rising actors does remember it's past. People recognized me all through the club, watched every move I made, and I told the girl at one point, "I am very well known in NYC and LA", and I wonder when I will end up in as Page 6 fodder...

The new Arthur Kade puts his fans and vision first, and he will never let vagina stand in his way again.

Mickey, you have something on your lip, bro. Anyhow, who knows if AK even has time for reality TV? His journey is one of altruism: "I want to eventually work with small African children, Afghan refugees, and even Central American refugees to show the world that Team Kade can give back (I will bring t-shirts, food, and other Brand memorabilia to help clothe and feed them)."

UPDATE: Philebrity thinks the rumor is just a PR stunt for...somebody. We're still waiting to hear from you, Philadelphians.

Nevermind the fact that it was Rosa Parks' refusal to sit in the back of the bus that made her an American civil rights icon, such historical accuracy only diverts our attention from our hero's latest efforts to become the Jesus Christ of film acting or whatever, so just pay attention, okay?!

So today, I decided to change some habits and get back to basics, and took the $15 "Bolt Bus" to NYC (Instead of the ultra luxurious Acela I usually travel in), and even got a small room at The Pod Hotel, which is an upscale version of a Hostel in Midtown NYC with Bunk-Beds and a shared bathroom so I could taste struggle and poorness again and come down to Earth. I even rode in the back of the bus to feel the symbolism of "The Journey", because I see myself as a modern day Rosa Parks making a stand for the rights of the "Modern Actor" (An actor who does it with out worrying about what people think), and stared out the window thinking about how many people are living through me, and cheering for Arthur Kade to be the greatest actor in the world.

I am so excited to be on a premiere movie set for the first time in a month, and to feel the rush of the PA's and actors looking at me, and participating with me in making something special. When I worked on AirBender, we became a family, and I miss the feeling of connecting and feeling admiration from people who understand my plight, and I can't wait to be doing what I love again, not just focusing on being famous. I also have to plan my next Kade Angeles Trip this week, because I am getting tons of audition requests there, so I am looking into getting second place there shortly so I can be Bi-coastal. I am also going to try and run back to Philly to make my commercial class tomorrow night after a 7AM Call time for the movie.

Here's Arthur on his cab ride down the West Side highway talking about his big role in Step Up, though we can't seem to find a title listing for a project going by that name currently in any stage of production anywhere in the world.

If you haven't yet had the pleasure of seeing Arthur Kade act, check out his rendition of Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction.

Arthur Kade, we are convinced now more than ever that you are a total fraud, which we guess makes you a genius, and for that reason we stand in awe of you now, always and forever.

Back of the Bus [Arthur Kade]

All of my friends have Crackberrys, and I have always refused to get one because I feel like it is to "Ordinary" and "General Population", in the representation of my brand, and I don't want to give the whole world another avenue to reach me, because everyone wants a piece, and now that they are seeing "The Journey" fully cross over to mainstream America, I am getting bombarded with phone calls from fans and journalists (Gawker posted my number months ago, and everyone around the world wants an interview about "The Journey") and emails, so having a BBM Pin would be death. Whatever technology Arthur Kade carries should be something only A Listers carry, or else I am tarnishing myself.

We're pretty sure all those calls were from the Chinese delivery guy, but no matter. In this never-before-seen video clip, Arthur shows off the exclusive, $8,000 phone that (listen carefully!) he would consider getting, if he could. It matches his shoulder line perfectly.

June 21: Arthur Kade is the New Oprah.

I have always had this responsibility because of my looks, status, and confidence, but now when I meet a girl, the first thing out of their mouth is "You're the guy with the website", You're too big for little old me", and "I'm not cool or good looking enough to hang with you"...

While out last night in AC, a friend asked me, "What's it like to be able to walk into a place, and be the most influential opinion?", and I responded "It's amazing, but everyone kisses your ass because you can make or break a place by that opinion", and I realized at that moment that I have become like Perez Hilton or Oprah, because people realize the incredible lifestyle I live, and will follow any example I do around the world

June 24: Arthur Kade addresses the media.

I talked with the writer about my enormous story in the Mag, the influence I made in increasing their sales and web hits, and could tell he was fascinated with how diverse I was, and the opinions I had. When he saw my face at first, He asked "Arthur Kade?" and we shook hands and I sat down next to him. He called me "Hot" right now, and said that he changed his Facebook status one time to say "What would the Philly Media do without Arthur Kade?", referring to the effect I am having on media around the world, and how big a story I am...
[It] was funny when he called me an "Anti-Hero", to which I said, ‘I'm a hero for the working man".

June 24: Arthur Kade caused Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey to break up because Vanessa totally wants to get with Arthur Kade but now he's not sure if he wants her cause she might not be a big enough star for him. No need to excerpt this one.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.June 25: Arthur Kade Dominates everywhere he goes.

People sit and wonder what I am doing next (To the point of obsession and stalkers, I may need a bodyguard soon), and are living their lives vicariously through me, and I never disappoint to show them the rock star life I live...

My influence in New York is huge, and the site that is constantly obsessed with my life is Downbythehipster.com (Considered the most influential and talked about nightlife site in NYC with one of my friends calling it "The Bible of New York")...

After the party, I am heading to the airport and jumping on a plane to LA to dominate the left coast for 5 days.

Arthur, you have to tone it down a little, yo. It's no fun if it's not believable. Think of how you like all your hot women to fake orgasms. You want them to really display some subtlety, right? You're trying too hard.

Anna David and I had a reading in Philadelphia. I had read about Arthur Kade here on Gawker and thought his website was one of the funniest, most absurd, most ridiculous things I had ever seen. I sent the link to Anna and told her I thought we should try to meet him while we were down there. She looked at it and thought the whole thing was either an elaborate art project of some kind, or just some guy fucking with people for laughs. We decided to try to find out.

First Contact

I sent Arthur an email. I decided it would be best if I used Anna as bait. A legendary swordsman like Arthur Kade would be far more inclined to come see her than a bearded fool like me:

—-—- Forwarded Message
From: James Frey
Date: Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:51:00 -0400
To: arthurkade17@gmail.com
Subject: Tomorrow

Arthur -

A woman named Anna David is reading from her new book tomorrow night is Philly. She's really hot and she's a huge fan of yours and she would love to meet you. Here's the info:

Thursday, June 4, 6:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
1805 Walnut ST
Philadelphia, PA 19103

And here's her website if you want to see her:

http://www.annadavid.com/

James

I got a response within ten minutes, it said: "How are you associated with her?"

I responded: "I'm friends with her."

He responded: "If you want to set something up i would prefer to speak to her or her camp directly."

I immediately forwarded this to Anna, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. Neither of us have camps, though we did both attend them as children. I told Anna she should write to him directly. She did.

Anticipation Building

Anna did in fact write Arthur, and he confirmed her identity. I told him I was reading with her and that I had written books, and also written and produced films (hoping the old Hollywood connection would also be something be enticing for him). For a good part of the train ride we talked about whether he would show up, and if he did, what he would be like. I expected him to be there, Anna did not. I expected him to a preening peacock, full of the same delusional bluster he displays on his site, and expected to be able to laugh at and fuck with him. Anna said that if he did actually show, she would be scared of him. There are always quiet moments on trains, moments where you stare out the window and think deep thoughts about life and all its bullshit. Our quiet moments were filled with thoughts of the great man, the great myth, the fastest rising actor and celebrity in the world, Arthur Kade, Arthur Kade.

Contact!!!!!

We met a writer named Duane Swierczynski and his wife for a quick bite before the reading. We told them about our potential meeting with Arthur. Duane just shook his head and laughed. His wife knew nothing about the Arthur Kade legend. Barnes & Noble was two blocks away. As we neared the store, I thought I saw Arthur outside with an umbrella (I was not wearing my glasses). I got excited and nudged Anna and said, "Look, he's there, right there in front of the fucking store." She laughed at me and said I was a fool. The person I thought was Arthur turned out to be a homeless teenager.

We walked into the store and didn't see him, though we both scanned the place pretty thoroughly. Anna looked at me and I just shrugged and said, "We're not A-list, what do you expect?" We started chatting with the booksellers. A minute or so later Anna nudged me and said he's here. I turned around. Walking towards us, in form-fitting jeans and a tight T-shirt — either Affliction or Ed Hardy, I can't really tell the difference — was Arthur motherfucking Kade.

Though she denies it, I swear I heard Anna gasp and say, "He's a god." He walked up, introduced himself and asked how our trip had been. He was extremely friendly and extremely polite. He was disarmingly friendly and polite. He asked when the reading would start and if we wanted to go out to dinner with him afterwards. Much to my shock and dismay, Anna said yes.

The Reading

As we waited for it to start, we saw brief glimpses of the Arthur Kade we know online. He asked about Hollywood, talked about his desire to become an actor, talked about how much fun he was having with new-found notoriety. He was very matter-of-fact about it, not blustery or idiotic at all. When Anna stepped away for a moment, I asked him where he thought she ranked on the Kade Scale, which is his own ranking of how women look. He smiled and said he never ranked friends and associates because he thought it was disrespectful (though he obviously changed the policy after we left town) and that he now considered me and Anna part of the Arthur Kade Glalaxy. I was, again, very surprised at how nice and polite he seemed to be, and was having trouble reconciling the Arthur Kade before me with the Arthur Kade online. While Anna read he was very attentive. While I read he was very antsy and had trouble sitting or standing in one place. A normal reaction I think. I know I would much rather watch her read than I would watch me. She's cute. I am not.

Post-Reading/ Dinner

The reading went well, we had a great crowd, sold and signed a good number of books. Readings are tiring. As a writer, I like being alone all day. I get extremely nervous before readings and find them draining. I was tired. I know Anna was tired. Arthur was waiting for us.

We got up from the table. While we signed books and chatted with readers, he sat about ten feet away. We could hear him introducing himself to people, and telling them about the Arthur Kade experience, and about a recent article written about him in Philadelphia Magazine (one of the most influential magazines in the world — his words, not mine). He asked if we would shoot a video with him. Anna again blurted out yes before I could signal her to say no. He pulled out his camera, turned it on. The video was actually sort of fun, it was the first, and really only time, we saw the absurd and clownish Arthur on his website actually appear in the flesh. Anna and I both had a laugh. We finally met the man we had wanted to meet. We hoped for some kind of awesome unforgettable Arthur Kade adventure. As soon, however, as the video camera was turned off, that Arthur disappeared.

He asked where we wanted to go for dinner. He told us we could pick anywhere in Philly, and that he could get us in. I said somewhere close because I didn't feel like walking far. He immediately turned and said I have a few places in mind, and led us away. As we left the store I asked Duane, my writer pal we had been with earlier, to call me in fifteen minutes and pretend he was my wife. I would have had dinner with the clownish Arthur. It would have been interesting and ridiculous and a great story. I had no interest in the nice, polite, and seemingly genuine one because I was tired and wanted to go home.

As we walked down the street, people did recognize him. We heard a couple people call out "Arthur Kade!" and I swear I heard one yell "Yo, asshat." (Though that might have been directed at me.) Bouncers said hello to and hugged him, the hostesses at restaurants waved. We walked into a crowded place, and Arthur walked to the greeter, and asked for and actually received, a really great table.

We sat down. Anna started asking Arthur questions about "the journey." About how he holds up under the barrage of nasty comments on his site, and the derision people display towards him there. He shrugged and he said he didn't care, that everyone was just jealous, that although sometimes it might hurt a little, he knows it comes with the territory. He wasn't arrogant about it, more just sort of sheepish and confused, as if he didn't understand why people made fun of him. He then told us a story about his grandparents, who he called very endearing Russian names (he said they're Russian immigrants). He said the one thing that had really upset him was that someone had posted his grandparents' phone number online, and that people were calling them to say what an asshole their grandson is. He said they called him a fool, a clown, a fuckface, a dickhead, and a fucking idiot. He was extremely vulnerable in telling the story, and you could see that it genuinely shocked and upset him. He seemed like a hurt little kid, misunderstood and confused. It was heartbreaking in a way, and completely different from anything either Anna or I expected from him. We both felt sad for him, and I know, because we talked about it later, that we both wanted to give him a hug and tell him things would be okay. Duane's call came about thirty seconds later and we got up to leave.

Home

Arthur got us a cab and made sure we knew where we were going. We waved goodbye as we pulled away. Anna turned and looked at me and said "He was so nice and polite, a little kid, like a hurt little kid." I agreed with her. We were both kind of shocked. We had wanted an asshole, someone to laugh at and mock, and we got a real person, one that was slightly delusional about himself, but not at all resembling the buffoon on his website or in his videos. The train ride home was uneventful. There were quiet moments, moments where we stared out the window and thought deep thoughts about life and all its bullshit. We talked a little about Arthur, but not much. Having had our time with him, I think we both decided it was best to just let him go, let him take his "journey", and hope that he somehow finds his way.

Afterward

Talked to Anna this morning. Arthur asked for her number and she gave it to him. I told her she should have given him a fake one, but she said she would have felt too guilty. He texted her a around 9:00 and told her he was coming to New York and wanted to take her out to dinner. She said she's going to be out of town.

Afterward Afterward

We also saw the blog post where he stated we were "blown way with my looks and body." Motherfucker! That's the guy I wanted to see in Philadelphia.

Frey is gunning for a promotion from Gawker intern to Gawker special correspondent and will be filing his own take on the run-in. Kade, however, seems a bit more familiar with Internet speed than our intern and, has already weighed in via his blog:

I am not sure why I am surprised at these things happening anymore considering how big I am now, but it's still weird to have celebrities want to meet you. I think that when this is all said and done, and I have accomplished the level of success that I will, I believe that books will be written about me, and I will be in the pantheon of names like Bogart, DeNiro, Nicholson, etc., and I want to sit down with a great author like James and maybe write my memoirs for the world to learn from.

When I walked in the store, they recognized me immediately, and we made some small talk about "The Journey". She told me she read the Philly Mag article, which didn't surprise me because of the enormity of the story. They were both very laid back and super cool, and were probably blown way with my looks and body, although it was funny because I am such an energy ball that I felt like I was overwhelming them at points, but I stayed for the readings they did, and then we went over to Parc for dinner. I can imagine how much they respect me as an author and artist, and the way I put it out there for the world to see, and I hope they see me as a potential rising star in the literary community as well.

Can't wait to read Frey's take, but here's a preview: in the video above Kade couldn't remember Anna's last name, but that did not stop him from getting her number and asking her out for a date. Will she accept? Tune in later.

When I want to "Wow" people, then I put my mind to prepping for something, and then watch out. I was on a mission this week to give an amazing complete rendition of the "When Harry Met Sally" dialogue that I spent an astounding 12 hours practicing, and it showed. I knew the lines backwards and forwards, and when I gave it during class, I knew that it was almost movie quality.

Really? Are we really to believe this guy exists in the wild. We want to. We want to so.

I get emails everyday about how inspiring "The Journey" is from all over the world, and how amazing I look and act.

Sometimes I feel like people only see how fabulous my life is, and forget that I deal with many of the same problems they do. I said to one of my good friends last week, "If you prick me, do I not bleed?" The difference is that I am willing to put it on a public forum, and show people that even greatness comes with a price.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.We beg you: do not break our hearts with some "big reveal" of your performance art project, Arthur Kade. Just turn out to be you. The world needs monsters.

[This fucking guy]

He only knows how to do life at "warp speed," like Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. Problematic!

Whether it is with work, women, or even partying, I can take it to a level that no one else can and dominate. One senior vice president at my old company called me a "living legend" when I participated in a national TV show. The only problem with that is that I become so much better than everyone else that I get bored and stop focusing on the basics, and begin to enjoy the rewards usually by finding new women to play with or countries to party in.

Ugh, and those women. Why can't they be realistic?

Why can't people understand their role in the world? There are some people who have the talent, looks, and charisma to make something special of their life, but the majority of people are average to above average. I refer to this group as "General Population". Sometimes with hard work and dedication, a person can overachieve and get to the highest level of a career or sport, but those are just outliers and are very rare. While out with Tony Starch and others throughout the night, we had conversations as to why certain girls don't get it, and have an undeserving entitlement mentality instead of working harder to land premium guys like us, especially in Philly.

As if it wasn't hard enough dealing with the bitches, Arthur has been cursed with too much acting talent:

I participated in a commercial workshop on Tuesday where my agent selected her top talent of all looks and ages, to get in front of two of the top casting agents in Philadelphia, and I nailed the read that they asked me to do. They worked with 10 of us for two hours, and at the end, we selected who was the best, and I tied for the win. I was the only one selected by the casting agent to do an extra read so that she could demonstrate how top level she could get me, and her husband told me in front of the class, "That was a very good read". It is great to show two experts my talent level, and my agent called me the next day and told me "They said you have a model look and tremendous talent; you're born for the spotlight". I could tell that they realized that the camera loves me, and one of the actors also commented "I could see the story he was telling". When I see that type of genuine reaction from professionals, I know I am born to do this.
My niche will be the dark, mysterious, anti-hero when I make it to starring in mainstream movies, and I believe that I will one day win an Oscar playing this type of character.

Here's the proof. You can see the dark, mysterious Comcast story he was telling. [Real pic of Kade's business card above, thanks to a tipster!]

Arthur's an extra (Just like JFP!) in Salt, so he's been spending a lot of time hanging out with Angelina—but sadly, she "didn't live up to the hype":

She was probably only 5'6", and fragile thin. I thought she was wearing a ton of make-up, and felt like she may look a bit older than what she is. She is definitely unique looking, but I feel like I have dated much hotter women than her, and outside of some special features that she has (eyes, cheekbones, and lips), I couldn't really say that she would stick out for me if I saw her at a hot club like 1Oak or Rosebar. She almost appears "mother hot", rather than "stripper hot", and I would probably rate her an 8.5-9 on my looks scale. I am not that sure that I would even feel the need to come up and initiate a conversation with her if I met her out somewhere. Ironically, the older woman next to me felt that Jolie made eye contact with me several times, and joked "I think she likes you", and "that's why she keeps bumping into you". I guess no more dreams of her being the next Mrs. Kade.

Sucks for her. When not hanging with Angelina or mackin on some some total 9's in the VIP section in AC, Arthur is giving interviews about his crazy lifestyle, punishing the heavy bag for upwards of 30 seconds, and filming video auditions for the QVC network in which he sells you his jeans that sport the "indigo wash—the hottest, trendiest wash." Watch and learn, normals.

Arthur Kade is, let's just say, the John Fitzgerald Page of Philadelphia. He's already locally famous down there for his unbelievably (cannot say "douchey"... think, dammit...) uh, self-absorbed blogging. From his bio:

I recently sold my financial planning practice which yielded a tremendous income and lifestyle to pursue my dream of being a professional actor, and although most people think I'm crazy, I'm the happiest I have been in years.

Our interpretation of this, based upon no facts at all, is "My firm busted in the recession so I decided to pursue my long-unfulfilled dream of being an actor, and this website will surely propel me to fame." Just like JFP. It's eerie, really. So how does Arthur Kade "Take chances….and live" (HIS MOTTO)? Big baller style, of course! Here, he details his spiritual journey—a recent trip to NYC:

Once we arrived in NYC, we went to Mercer Kitchen in Soho (one of my favorite haunts) grabbed an awesome dinner, and had some hilarious conversations. We talked about everything from relationships to politics to hate sex, and I can tell you that if it wasn't so loud in the restaurant, I could have videotaped it, and not had to write a blog today because of all the material that was discussed. Radio Babe's friend Christine, who joined us, must think I am the biggest and horniest jerk-off on Earth. We did not stop laughing for a couple hours.

Ha, surely! Later they went to hot club 1Oak:

Radio Babe was accosted by some guy who claimed he was the creator of some revolutionary video game software, and kept offering to buy us drinks. He was an incredibly nerdy guy, and I have found that when people brag as hard as he was about their successes, they are usually failures or trust fund children (although we googled him on the way home from the city, and he was totally legit; go figure). I told him that the only way that he could continue to talk to Radio Babe was to buy me and her drinks, and he did!!! He probably spent at least $200-$300 on us, and it was great using someone the way my friends and I are usually used by women. My next life I am coming back as a hot woman so I can spend 75 years manipulating men and ruining their lives.

Really you must read the whole thing, it just gets better and better. Though appropriately for our new recession age, his aspirations never get too grand. But the oversharing never stops! Just today he revealed: "I haven't gone two consecutive weeks without sex since I was 19 years old."

Arthur Kade, you deserve to be famous. [ArthurKade.com]