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Posts Tagged “
Ashton Kutcher
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On Second Thought
That Perez HIlton and John Mayer make out story is totally one of those Ashton Kutcher fake Pop Fiction things, right? Many of you commenters seem to think so. Here's hoping.
That Perez HIlton and John Mayer make out story is totally one of those Ashton Kutcher fake Pop Fiction things, right? Many of you commenters seem to think so. Here's hoping.
reality tv
disease
Your Favorite Celebrities Now Have Hepatitis
Ahhhh! Hepatitis!!! You definitely have it if you're a famous person (like Lucy Liu or Demi Moore or Kate Hudson or Bruce Willis) who went to Ashton Kutcher's birthday party at downtown (that's the cool part!) Manhattan clurrrb Socialista. A bartender, hilariously and appropriately named Leif, was recently diagnosed with a "raging" (as the medical professionals at the Post are calling it) case of Hepatitis A, a disease that promises symptoms like diarrhea and jaundice. Jaundice? In Ashton's beautiful, murky eyes? This is worse than AIDS and Spanish Flu COMBINED. Spanish AIDS! [P6]
Team America
We take it back! American celebrities aren't all boors who just drink and never do anything fun and cute like play Scrabble. Apparently they play dominoes! Specifically, something called Mexican Train Dominoes. It seems that Ashton Harold Kutcher and Demi Maude Moore introduced the game to their celebrity pals, and everyone has just gone crazy for it. Penelope Cruz, who Kutcher calls a "vicious warrior at the game", has her own little dominoes parties. This is just like when my friends and I rediscovered Guess Who? one drunken night and played all into the morning. Then we forgot about it. And remain vaguely embarrassed. [Showbiz Spy]
We take it back! American celebrities aren't all boors who just drink and never do anything fun and cute like play Scrabble. Apparently they play dominoes! Specifically, something called Mexican Train Dominoes. It seems that Ashton Harold Kutcher and Demi Maude Moore introduced the game to their celebrity pals, and everyone has just gone crazy for it. Penelope Cruz, who Kutcher calls a "vicious warrior at the game", has her own little dominoes parties. This is just like when my friends and I rediscovered Guess Who? one drunken night and played all into the morning. Then we forgot about it. And remain vaguely embarrassed. [Showbiz Spy]
gossip roundup
Brave Britney Spears Nearly Forgotten Amid Your Stupid Election Or Whatever
- Britney Spears is in a padded room, deemed by a court-appointed lawyer too crazy to understand her own case, but the judge wants to check with a doctor to be extra sure she's mentally unfit because apparently he doesn't have access to television, print media, the Internet, radio or anyone who has consumed any news whatsoever at any point in the past two years.
- For the two weeks Spears is in the hospital, her dad retains control of her lawyers, medical situation and fast-dwindling supply of money, but she's bravely fighting to put all that in the hands of this buddy of her hanger-on who can't contact her due to a perfectly innocent restraining order.
- Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston heroically endures Angelina Jolie's pregnancy by Brad Pitt, even though Jolie is clearly trying to humiliate her though brazen fertility. [ShowbizSpy]
- Married Daniel Baldwin is "inappropriate" with an adult film star, checks out of rehab, and Dr. Drew is the only one especially worried about all this. [ET]
- People Magazine travels to Australia to discover the shocking truth: Heath "Ledger's father Kim and other relatives appeared solemn and tired" after burying their son and taking a 20-hour flight home. [People]
- Paris Hilton going on The L Word, doesn't know "what kind of character I'll be playing" since her dramatic range allows for so many options. [Parade via GaySocialites]
- Ashton Kutcher and Bruce Willis have a weird relationship. Surprising. [P6]
blind item guessing game
Which Hollywood Couple Are Double-Bearding?
Today Page Six ran two blind items, the first of which was so obvious that if you don't get it then, really, we feel sorry for you. But the second one left us scratching our heads! It said: "WHICH too-good-to-be-real Hollywood leading man and his hard-bodied wife deserve Oscars for their portrayal of a perfect marriage? They both have secret lives with members of the same sex." Hmm! Options were proposed and summarily dismissed for various reasons, until finally we came up with a list of suitable candidates. Guesses, in the form of a poll, after the jump; feel free to leave additional options, as always, in the comments. More »
kabbalah
Remainders: The Fedora Matches the Chupah
• You may mock Ashton Kutcher's choice of headwear for his wedding attire, but be aware that the white fedora is the yarmulke of choice for Kabbalahists everywhere. [Oh No They Didn't]• Fanciful Gawker alum Choire Sicha takes 3000 words of the Observer's precious pink space to tell you that which you already know: He's a big 'mo cruising public restrooms for love. [NYO]
• Cynthia Nixon and her lover, presented without comment. We don't think our words could do the union justice. [JJB]
• Camel toads are a rare breed, often found hiding in the warm, soggy crotches of ill-advised stretch pants. [Revo1]
• Somebody better tell this bitch to close her legs. [CNN]
• The artist in her element: Paris Hilton pretends to record her album. [Hello]
• And, because one Paris link is simply not enough: Simple Life cancelled mid-production? [WoW]
paris hilton
Gossip Roundup: Paris Steals Mary-Kate's Boyfriend
• Not even a week after Paris Hilton officially announced the break-off of her engagement to Paris Latsis, the heiress has been spotted skanking around with Stavros Niarchos, aka Mary-Kate Olsen's boyfriend. If our little squirrel twin goes into an anorexic tailspin because of this, we will kill Hilton with our bare hands. Bitch. [Page Six]• Because everyone (but you) has a book deal, CNN's silver hearthrob Anderson Cooper is reportedly pulling around $1 million for a memoir of the past year of his life. Even more amazing: The furious bidding war for Cooper's tome was sparked by, well, nothing — there's no proposal, no outline, just the magic of Coop. [Lowdown]
• What's up with Lindsay Lohan's crankypants? They certainly don't fit her well, especially now that she's eating. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may be legally married, but their crackpot Kabbalah rabbi wasn't ordained — meaning their union is less kosher than a pulled pork sandwich.
• When things don't go well at Damon Dash's America mag, the Roc-a-fella co-founder throws punches. [R&M]
sienna miller
Gossip Roundup: 'Sup With Sienna Miller's Womb?
• Did Sienna Miller miscarry cheating beau Jude Law's baby? Perhaps, although it's equally likely that if there was the loss of a baby, it might've been a bit more intentional. We're just sayin'. [R&M]• Tara Reid lashes out at the media yet again for its insistence on portraying the Taradise star as a demented lush. Yes, dear media, it's your fault she morphed into a human tequila popper and can't score a decent gig to save her left tit. [Page Six]
• Demi Moore's wedding to little brother Ashton Kutcher has been confirmed. Sorry. [Fox 411]
• Even more disappointing is word that OK! has paid an absurd $3 million for rights to the demonic marriage ritual. Meanwhile, Katrina evacuees could use some blankets. [Lowdown]
• Supermodel Carmen Kass fainted backstage at the Prada show in Milan. Hunger tends to do that to you. [Page Six]
ashton kutcher
