Sure [Gawker] didn't give me any notice, and leaves me to save up the little $1200, I have in the bank but you know what I have other bigger problems that the CEO who resides in SOHO could never understand or relate to. My cousin just died of AIDS and cops just killed a man (in a buy and bust ordeal) right around the corner from my house....They died so we could go out there and make it for ourselves.

On December 31, 2007, Gawker's owner/managing editor, Nick Denton, informed me through an email that Gawker was going into a different direction and that my beloved column, "Ask Tionna", was no longer being published on the site. He left his number for me to call and emailed me the news twice, incase I didn't understand what the email meant. When I read the email I was a little disappointed because I stayed at Gawker despite telling Emily that was going to leave because I wasn't taken that serious by Gawker and by the people who read Gawker. She expected that last week would be my last entry but based on the love that I received from many readers like Adam, Heather, etc. I decided to stay.

I received the job from Gawker after I wrote an email to them regarding featuring me on their site because I was a motivated black girl from East New York, who wrote this fabulous, self-published book that had plenty of grammatical biscuits in it. To my surprise, they featured me the next day and made fun of my ass so much that it made me laugh (even though I was the subject). The commentators made so much fun of this "ghetto ass black girl" that the editors of Gawker stalked my blog site Talk Dat Ish (www.talkdatish.com). I think it was amazing to them that this girl from the ghetto would write an email about herself and act as if it was coming from someone else. People were just outraged and excited about me, all at the same time.

I must admit when I started my column, I was a grammatical-mess (still am) but my voice was unique and my advice was real and soon the uppity folks at Gawker welcomed me with open arms. My pay at Gawker was minimal but I thought and still feel that it was a great opportunity. If it wasn't for Gawker, many of you would never know who I was. I mean, you would have found out sooner or later, but it wouldn't have been so quick. I learned that I was Gawker's little secret when my column came out on Tuesdays at 6PM, but it didn't bother me because my numbers always stayed between 8,000-20,000 views. That is an awful lot for someone who has never had a job in the industry. I know I got the job because Gawker knew that it would bring numbers and people would laugh at the little Black girl that could but let me explain something. I am the one who is laughing. I now have great connects in the media industry, a contract to sign tomorrow for a reality show of my life on the come up and in the entertainment business, I have genuine fans who loves me and my work, and I have dreams that cant be erased by no one not even Gawker.

Gawker didn't make me, it only made me better. Sure they didn't give me any notice, and leaves me to save up the little $1200, I have in the bank but you know what I have other bigger problems that the CEO who resides in SOHO could never understand or relate to. My cousin just died of AIDS and cops just killed a man (in a buy and bust ordeal) right around the corner from my house. I may rock Gucci sneakers and aviator lenses but listen, I am still bounded by the hood and I cant move out of it until my money get right and I am ok with that because without struggle, there isn't any success but listen no one, not one person in this entertainment industry can stop me because I am a serious person to play games with. I own my own entertainment company, I am still a very serious book writer/motivational speaker, and I am opening my own book publishing company and getting writers of all different aspects out there. Most of all, I am a born leader who understands that it's not where you're from, it's where you going baby. I can sit and beg for a chance to show my talent; hell, I could be like other woman who is trying to make it big in the world and blow balls for cheddar but that is not what my ancestors died for...

They died so we could go out there and make it for ourselves. They died so many of you people who never stepped foot in the ghetto could say, Tionna Smalls lives in East New York, and so it can't be that bad. It is for that little girl that says if Tionna Smalls wrote a book, so can I. So as Robert Frost would say, there's two paths (roads), which one are you going to take?

And my answer would definitely be the road on top because this black girl is going places. So please watch out for me and remember, I am still here to answer your advice, just hit me up and I will help you out.

Wishing you nothing but Hard Dick and Bubblegum,

Tionna Smalls

Hey Tionna,

I am a 22-year-old university student who is in love with a 32-year-old rock star. He is the most respectful, non game-playing, honest man that I have ever been intimate with. Right from the beginning he pushed me to be open and honest with him, which is something that is really hard for me, and I expressed all my fears to him. We have been friends/lovers for about nine months now. Six months ago I expressed my interest in pursuing a relationship with him, however, he was not so eager, for he is trying to break his own relationship patterns.

He has been in three 3-year relationships in a row with not much time in between them. His last relationship ended the previous October and they almost got married. He keeps telling me that we should take it slow, be friends, and see what happens—that there is no reason to rush anything. I am trying to be patient, however, my feelings for him are growing and he still feels the same way. He says he can't be with me now but he also can't say that we will never be in the future. I have tried on numerous occasions to end our friendship, because it is too emotionally difficult sometimes, however, he always convinces me to stick around. I also don't think he wants me to stick around for sex, because he insisted that we stop having sex in August, and work on our friendship. On top of that he has been touring constantly. I just don't know what to think anymore!

-Fucked up Kid

See it isn't that your rocker guy doesn't like you, it's just you're kind of young and I don't think he takes you that serious. You have to understand that he is wayyyyy older than you (so he's been there and done that) and he knows how to control someone like you. Telling you to take it slow and be patient is a way of making you think that there would be something in store for you in the end, but chances are there isn't. You already been messing with this dude for 9 months and been his fuck-buddy, so, he's thinking, what is the problem?

You says that he insists on keeping you around but think about it, why wouldn't he keep around a pretty young thing like yourself that is ready to bone at his disposal? It took me a few months to know that it wasn't going anywhere. He tried to kick that same bullshit about us not having sex. The funny thing is a week later, he was back trying to get in my drawers so don't fall for that G (meaning game). I just think you should remain friends with this guy, don't give up the panties, and see where it goes because the more you bone him, the more your feelings will grow and you don't want to be left with a wet ass and some Chinese food (as my father likes to say). I hope this works out for you.

Love,

Tionna.

Dear Tionna,

Here's the deal, I honestly don't have that much to complain about. I have an amazing boyfriend. I mean one of those boyfriends you cry to your friends about needing after the one you have right now just fucked you over again. He's emotionally available, stable both mentally and financially, and loves me enough to deal with my sometimes crazy ass.

Now that I'm done sounding like boasting bitch I can get down to the real problem. He never wants to get married. There isn't a commitment problem, he just says the practice of marriage is an outdated Christian tradition he just doesn't find necessary. I just disagree.

I've always thought of marriage as making the ultimate commitment to someone. I'm not religious by any means but seriously what is the issue. We want kids, and then what if we split up? How do we divide things? Or what if one of us gets sick and we have to make the "pull the plug" choice. Unless you are next of kin there is no choice for us.

Also I want to be his wife. I know that probably makes me sound like some needy women who want to be chained to her stove with like fifteen kids but it's how I feel.

Where do I go from here? Do I give up an amazing man that I love insanely just because he won't sign a piece of paper?

Let's Get Married

He says that marriage is an outdated Christian tradition, wow. I thought that all religions got married but hey, I'm just an Advice Columnist, what do I know? Lol. I really think that his reason for not taking the plunge goes deeper than religion. Is his parents married? And if they are, do they have a successful marriage? I am asking this because his refusal to get married could have something to do with failure of marriages that he witnessed in his childhood.

This really isn't a HUGE problem because lots of people always say stuff that they will never do until the fire is under their ass and then they change their mind, you feel me? I think you should make it clear to him that you do believe in marriage and don't plan on being just some man's girlfriend for the rest of your life but don't sound too desperate (because that is a turn off). I think if he is as great of a man as you say he is, he will understand your views about this and marry you because I really feel like a man who loves you would do anything to make you happy—seriously.

I want you to also to take in consideration that he may never want to get married; and that is something that you have to choose whether or not you could deal with because you alone can't change someone's views on something as serious as marriage. I am damn sure not going to tell you to get rid of a GOOD man because he won't marry you, but I will tell you to always put your wants and needs over his and remember that if he doesn't marry you, there are other GOOD men out there that will make your dream of being a wife come true. So just think about that!

I think if you put your foot down, it will all work out for you.

Love,

Tionna

Ask Tionna!

Hi Tionna,

I have been with this guy for 3 and half yrs. He is my first real boyfriend he is an athlete at [redacted] college in Brooklyn. I love him but we have been through the worst. He has cheated on me twice that I know about. I have cheated on him once if getting someone's number is cheating. I want to make this relationship work but every time we get into an argument I bring it up (his cheating). I know that you have to go through the worst to make things better so I wanted to know how can I make this relationship work? Thank you for your time, keep on doing what you do. I believe that if you keep on striving for the best you would be the best and you are showing the world that African Americans can become someone more than the stereotypes we are known for. GOD BLESS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Confused College Girl

I think it's sad that your boyfriend is a cheater but as you know, he is an athlete and that is what comes with the territory (as some would like to say). I think it's pretty messed up that he does that but hey, he still has you around to pick up the pieces. I don't want to sound like the typical adult when I say this but hey, who cares: Your guy is too immature to be in a relationship.

Right now he is in college, playing ball, he may love you but his only concern now is just doing him. I understand that you guys have been together for a long time. But face it honey, it's serious to you but it's a joke to him. You are his girl that he has as a backup when he doesn't want to deal with the "groupies." He may love you but he doesn't have this relationship as a priority. You said he has cheated on you twice and those are the times you found out about; so imagine who you don't know about. The sad thing is it's probably not the lust that is making him do these mean things to you—it's the social expectations to be a player-player from the himalaya that is placed on athletes. However, I don't want you to take that as an excuse.

I truly believe that people do what they want to do because they can. Yes, girlfriend, he is cheating on you because he can. If I cheated on you once and you took me back with no problems, why not do it again? That is what he did. Girl, you should have given him some kind of consequence because maybe then he would have known not to get caught up a second time in this predicament.

I don't know what it is about people these days but they just don't know the code. My thing is this, if you are going to cheat on me, at least have the respect to not let me find out. I mean, is that too much to ask for? Damn.

You seem like you believe that you are over him cheating but you know what? You're not. If you were, you wouldn't throw it up in his face in every argument. That's the rule, people: if you say you forgive, don't throw it back up. I say forgive but never forget. I mean if you want this relationship to work you have to stop bringing this up because it isn't going to do anything but make you more mad at him and the madder you get, the more time it's going to take to rectify the problem. I mean, it sounds like you want to work it out but I personally think you should break it off with him and just date because you are too young to be dealing with this guy on this type of emotional level.

Believe me, you are not losing anything because what you like at 18 ain't going to be the same thing you like at 25. So save yourself some time and get rid of his cheating ass now because once a cheater is always a cheater.

Tionna
Ask Tionna!

Tionna,

I have a problem and I could really use some help/advice/encouragement/anything. I'm 25, and all my girlfriends have boyfriends. Of course I want my friends to be happy, and I'm glad for them, blah blah blah, but I'm also effing LONELY. Honestly, it just really pisses me off that when they were single we hung out all the time, and now I'm lucky if I get a phone call once a week. I understand that being in a relationship is time consuming and all, but I also think it's really not cool to ditch someone who has been kind to you and supported you for years just because you get a boyfriend. I mean, when I'm dating someone, I always make sure to hang out with my girlfriends because friendship and loyalty are important to me, and it's important to me that my friends know that I care about them. But I guess not everyone feels the same way. And keep in mind that these are the very same bitches that complain when other girls pull this crap. Oh, and to make matters worse, I just found out (from MYSPACE) that they are all going on a "couples only" trip for New Years that I, of course, am not invited to because I don't have a boyfriend and therefore am defective in some way.

The thing is, I consider myself to be a pretty strong person, and I usually don't mind being single, but I'm just feeling lonely and left out lately. And it's not as if I couldn't have a boyfriend. I'm very attractive and successful and fun, and I meet guys all the time. But I don't want to date someone just because all my friends are, I want to wait for someone I really like who's going to treat me well. But in the meantime, it would nice if my friends would hang out with me sometimes. Please don't tell me to just go out and make new friends—I mean, it's really not that easy to make new girlfriends, and for the most part, I really do love the ones that I have. But I just don't know what to do about this situation. I don't want to seem selfish, but this sucks. Please advise.

Love,

Katie

Aww! I could totally relate to this letter in so many ways. No, I am not going to tell you to get new friends, I mean that's not going to solve the problem. But I do think that your friends are totally wrong for ditching you now that they have a man.

I have a famous quote that I like to say which is be good to your friends because when that person leaves out of your life, your friends are still going to be there. I don't know what it is about women but when they get a man, they get stupid and forget everything around them. You are not being selfish by saying that you wish your friends will hang out and answer your phone calls more; you are being real.

I'm not saying that your friends aren't true to you but I don't like the fact that now that they have a man, they only call you once a week. That to me is really trifling.

I like the fact that you added in that you called them on the regular when you had a man in your life. That shows that you practice what you preach, which is a quality I respect. Your friends are being really insensitive to your single status. These chicks going to plan a couples-only trip knowing that you are single. Oh hells no! They really don't know how to act. The least they should do is invite you and try to hook you up with someone. It's the beginning of December, they have enough time.

I know right now it seems like you are left out in the club but believe me you will get over it. I am single and I was in this position before and I went and told my friends exactly how I felt and of course they didn't see where I was coming from and disregarded everything I said. So I decided to act like I was wayyy too busy when they did decide to call. Katie, I know that being single sucks but hey it only sucks because people like you and I refuse to settle. That is something that you can be proud of.

I know right now you are trying to stay strong but your loneliness is getting the best of you. But this period will pass with lots of prayer and support. I just want you to discuss your feelings with your friends, and if they don't understand where you are coming from, keep yourself busy with doing special things for yourself and get closer to other people in your life like your family. I did that and it worked. I hope it all works out for you.

Tionna

Ask Tionna!

Dear Tionna, I need some advice on what to do about my boyfriend of 6 years. He can't have sex for longer than 3 minutes before he cums, even with a condom. I have tried to explain to him that this is beyond frustrating. I mean I need at least 10 minutes to be satisfied. I'm just at my whits end, I love him and he is a good man I just need better, longer sex. Do you have any ideas on what I can do to help him. Thanks.

This is such a complicated situation. You have been with a man for many years and he doesn't satisfy your sexual needs because his behind cums too fast. [Ed: Give it a minute.] Damn, this one is a hard one. There are a couple of things that could be going on. The first one that comes to my mind is maybe he is selfish. You have men out here that do not care if a woman gets hers, as long as they gets theirs. But for some reason, I don't believe that is the case here.

Maybe you bore him so much that he just want to get in and get right. Maybe you don't give it to him often enough, so that when he does get it, he gets a little too excited. My other thought is, maybe he has a problem, you know like a sexual dysfunction. Maybe he is suffering from what we call Premature Ejaculation Syndrome (you can't even look at the dick long enough before he starts cummin).

Premature Ejaculation Syndrome is the most common sexual problem in men. Damn. There are many men in the world who suffer from this same disorder (thank God I never met any of them) so don't give up hope. There are treatments your man could go through to get rid of this harsh syndrome, because you, my dear, need some good sex. And damn, you're not asking for much- you said all it takes is at least 10 minutes. Hell, a woman who could get satisfied in 10 minutes of penetration? You can't beat that with a stick. So I am going to help you.

I won't tell you to leave him, because then you will meet some loser with some good sex and a smile who won't have the great qualities your man does have. So I say trick him into paying for some help and if he doesn't want to do it, then get rid of the chump because life is too short to be dealing with Mr. cum-too-quickly.

You said he gives you three minutes of the dingaling, please! To get all hot and horny just for three minutes? You're better off popping yourself.

Here are his options. They have creams that desensitize him against the pleasureable feeling of being in the catbag. They have anti-depressants. Hell, they even have cocaine! I don't advise him doing that, but he has to do something.

It seems to me like you have told him about the problem and he refuses to get help. If he wanted to get help, he would have gotten some help like five years ago when you guys first started getting it popping. Sex is what I call 80% of a relationship, without sex all your mate is to you is a brother or sister. No one likes to say this, but being sexually compatible with your mate is very important and without it your relationship is doomed. He has to understand that what he doesn't do, the next man will do happily and willingly. I don't know how he feels as a man when you guys discuss this. Maybe he thinks it's all in your head since he survived this long with the old shooting gun.

I must say you have a lot more patience than I have. I broke up with the love of my life because he wasn't getting my motor running. But hey, that was when I was young. If that was happening now, I'd probably engage myself in some extracurricular activities. I am not an advocate for cheating but come on, you have to get it off some kind of way and it sounds like to me like you are tired of getting yourself off.

If your man has other problems, I give you the green light to stray. Having a man with bad sex and an attitude is enough to make any woman go crazy so think about all of your options- get him some help, cheat, or be out. The choice is yours but make sure you make the right decision for yourself.

Girl, I feel for you because now that I think back to my sexual escapades, I did have sex with a man who came faster than a speeding bullet. But I don't think he had a syndrome, I think he just didn't give a shit about satisfying a woman. You know sex is mental so that's what it was in his case. Damn, that ish right there is so frustrating so God Bless you if you decide to keep this one. I just hope this doesn't go on forever.

Love,

Tionna

Hi Tionna, I have a problem. I am really stuck between what the heart wants, and what the brain says. Anyway, I have been dating a wonderful man for 2 years. Problem is, he is still married. He told me about it from the beginning, that he was still married in name only, and that he is remaining with his wife at home for the sake of their child. They sleep in separate bedrooms, and haven't been intimate in years. I do believe him, or do I? Everyone I talk to about this says that I am crazy, and that many men use this excuse when they are simply cheating on their wives. I am aware of that, but still feel there is something different here. We have been away together for the weekend, we never fight, and the sex is fantastic. Two years from now he will be free from his marriage. However, once again, will he want to be with me and get married right after getting divorced? I am so torn. I feel I have invested so much already in this relationship, and I do love him, and enjoy every minute I am with him. But I have kids, and I do not want to waste anytime on someone who is not for real. Any advice?

Caroline

Think about it like this. Let's say your lover man gets hit by a car and dies. His wife will be the one who gets everything and make all of the arrangements. All you would be is that crying woman in the back of the chapel thinking about that weekend trip and great sex you guys once had. Is that all you want out of your life—hard dick and bubblegum? I think not.

Set a good example for your kids (because they are watching you) and let him go and tell him to look you up in the yellow pages once he leaves his wife. Keep me posted on this affair and don't get mad at my response, just remember that I am telling you this because I want you to be a strong woman.

Love,

Tionna

Ask Tionna!

Dear Tionna,

Here's a new one for you: I think my boyfriend has a thing for his niece. He is 32; the niece, his older sister's daughter, is 22.

I have been dating this man for six months and I recently met his extended family during a holiday visit. I met this niece before and had noticed that he seems very attentive to her (much more so than he is toward other family members), but during this visit, I saw my boyfriend dance very suggestively with her and even pinch her butt a couple of times.

The niece is arguably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen — she is smokin' hot!!! — but still. To me this seems waaaay out of line, but I was born and raised in the United States, and he is a recent immigrant, and so I am wondering if maybe differing cultural norms could be to blame. I should add that other family members were in the room during the dancing and the pinching. Our relationship seems solid so far, but it is obviously fairly new so I don't know if I should make a big deal about this by bringing it up or just wait to see if/how it continues.

So, do I pick option...

A — he is a pervert; run the other way
B — there may be a misunderstanding; talk frankly with my boyfriend about this
C — nothing's wrong here, except my paranoia; get over it

Signed,
Suspecting Incest

This is definitely a new one for me but I am here to help you. I must let you know that it is some real questionable activity going on in this family. You are suspecting that your man has a thing for his niece... Um, that is some real HOT ASS MESS... I really feel bad that you are even having these thoughts (yuck).

See here is the problem; he is pinching his niece on her ass. I don't care what country he is from, he is in America now and that's what we call gross. Don't blame us; blame the social constructs that were placed on us since birth. He is not supposed to touch his niece in a sexually suggestive way, not even if she is Angelina Jolie-hot. The sad thing is that this is definitely his niece (his sister's kid). Wow, at least if it was his brother's kid, he could maybe make up an excuse that that's not his real niece or something.

Either way, he is still a sicko. I mean I know many people who had a thought about a family member (whether they admit it or not) but you don't go expressing that. That's just not normal, sorry.

And even if it is a part of his culture to have sex with or show sexual attention to a family member. It's still not cool because it makes you feel uncomfortable and since he is your man, your feelings should be in his best interests. This is why some of us have a problem dating a person who does not share the same culture because it is hard to get used to the traditions and customs of others. I mean, kudos to you, I think you are handling this better than most. If I would see my man pinching a woman's ass let alone his niece's, I would have been out—right after I knocked him out and cursed his whole family out. That just would have been a big turn off for me (seriously). But maybe you are nicer than I am (unfortunately).

My advice for you is to sit him down and let him know how this made you feel (icky, I hope). Ask him what is that all about and really sit and listen to his answers. Also find out what culture or tribe he is from so we all can stay away from their asses. Don't diss his culture or traditions but really sit down and explain how we do it in the U.S. of A. Let him know that using that kind of behavior is frowned on in this country and he will be socially exiled if he keeps acting like that.

If he is down with changing his behavior then work with it but if he gets real defensive like, "This is my culture. Family break girl in first" (lol), then you run as far away as you possibly can. You guys were only together for 6 months, you haven't really established much yet, so this should be easy. Please, you don't need the stress. Just think like this: That could be your little daughter a few years from now that he is inching and pinching on (if you know what I mean). Yo, foreal, please get this together ASAP before you guys reproduce. I hear too many horror stories regarding incest. It makes my stomach hurts.

Damn.

Tionna

Questions left unanswered? Ask Tionna!

Dear Tionna,

I am dealing with some ish that I really need your advice on. A couple weeks ago, I met this incredibly perfect guy: hot, funny, sweet, etc. He turned out to be a big pothead and loser and I thought he was even kind of with this other chick, so we broke up. As it turns out, he WAS with this other girl (but I knew he had broken up with her, too). So one night at our college bar I went up to her, thinking we could bond, and was like "Hey, we dated the same guy! Let's totally be friends!" I did it because I thought "We're both
girls and should stick together against all the assholes of the world."

I was so wrong. This girl started flipping out. She had no idea we both dated this guy at the same time. I feel badly that I made her upset, but since then she's been harassing me on campus and even hit me and threw a drink down my white dress at a party. This entire time I have always ignored her and never retaliated, but that night was so bad I decided to press charges against her through my school. The people at the university I've talked to suggested I get a restraining order against her, too. While this is being dragged through my university's judicial system, I'm having a really hard time moving on. I think about what this girl did to me all the time, and since our school is very small, I see her pretty often and am so afraid she's going to try to hurt me again. Tionna, how do I get over this?

XOXO,
It's a Good Thing That White Dress Was Cheap

This is a definite hell-to-the-naw moment.

Most of the letters we receive here at Gawker are matters of the heart or the catbag, but this one is different. I am going to totally help you out with this one because this letter has too much ish going on. It's kind of funny to me that almost every guy we talk about on here turns out to be a pothead. Damn, what's up with that? Are you ladies turning these guys to drugs with your insecurities and emotions? (Um, I wonder).

First of all, you should have never came up to that chick. Your intentions were good but your approach was all wrong. Who wants to hear, "Hey we dated the same guy." She was probably thinking like bitch, I don't know you and you're coming to my face with this bullcrap. This was wrong also because for all you know, she could have thought that you were the girl he was cheating on her with, you understand? You didn't even watch how she moved, you just went in thinking she was all down with pink power (sisterhood). Oh please, girlfriend, that wasn't smart at all.

Another thing is, you don't know the circumstances of their relationship. He could have hurt her feelings badly and here you go out of nowhere, throwing salt on an open wound. So she may have took her pain out on you (though I am not defending what she did to you).

So now that is established, let's get down what my real problem is with: You. This chick gets mad because you approached her and she goes and starts harassing you, hitting you and throwing a drink down your dress. Oh hells no... First of all, Tionna Smalls is not an advocate for violence but you should have whipped her ass first and asked questions later. There is no way in hell you let someone put their damn hands on you and you don't defend yourself. That bitch ain't that crazy, she's human, she bleeds just like your ass. Ooh, I don't like this skank. What you should have done was made a report against her when she first started harassing you so that you would have been protected against any charges once you would have beat the life out of this trick. She has no right at all to be violent towards you.

Damn girl, you sound like you are way too nice. I think it's definitely time for you to become a member of the smack-a ho tribe. Foreal.

I know you may not be an aggressive person but hey, we all have a little fighter in us and I know you may be scared but f-that. Think of what Rocky said in "Rocky 4" when he had to go fight Ivan Drago in Russia right after Drago killed Apollo. Adrian said, "You Can't Win."

And do you remember Rocky's reply? Well I do, here it goes: "Maybe I can't win, maybe the only thing I could do is just take everything he's got. But to beat me, he's going to have to kill me. And to do that, he has to be willing to die himself. I don't think he is ready to do that." Wowzers. That quote is just motivation to my soul. Seriously, take that Rocky quote and make it your own and your fear would go away regarding this chick. Believe me!

You can't go backwards, so beating her ass now may not be an option, but remember that a bully doesn't go away until you pluck them. Right now this female is probably scared to bother you because of the pending charges. But if she ever act crazy again, take all your strength, all your might, and knock her ass out. It's sad but sometimes you have to take justice in your own hands. I think after that, she will get the picture but ignore as much as possible.

BTW, I don't care how cheap the dress was. Her behavior was unacceptable and it better not happen again or we will have to make a trip down there, lol.

Love ya,

Tionna Smalls.

And for all of you lovers, check out www.blogtalkradio.com/talkdatish for our radio show at 6 p.m. Tonight is dedicated to my Gawker readers. The topic: Dating in 2007: Are We All Doomed? Listen live and call in. Our number is (347) 215-7763. We will be discussing the real deal on dating, the trials and the tribulations. Don't miss it!

Dear Tionna,

I need some help on getting my head straight. I've been seeing this guy (I'll call him Dan) for about four years, and I am completely crazy about him. I mean, I still crush on him like mad, and I really do wake up every day and think, "How the fuck did I luck out like this?!" He is just super awesome.

Here's my problem: We've been friends for a little over ten years, and at the very beginning of our romantic relationship, when things were kinda starting to go in that direction we used to have these long heart to heart talks. You know the kind I mean. Well, sometimes we would have them when we were both a little (ok, sometimes a LOT) drunk, and he said a few things that I just can't seem to let go of.

A couple years before we got together, he used to go out with this girl. I'll call her Jane. She was the first (and only, at that point) girl he was ever really in love with, and she did him really wrong. She cheated
on him with his then best friend, and a couple other guys, and basically stomped all over his heart for fun. So when we were getting together, he used to talk about her, I guess because he wasn't all the way over it, and we were falling in love and he was scared and shit.

But the shit he used to say would break my heart, and it still does. He would just go on and on about how beautiful she was, and how he never felt like he deserved her, and how awesome she was to fuck, shit like that. I mean, just so you know, he would never say shit like that now that we are together, but this was when we were just starting to hook up. I mean,he's not a dick, trying to make me jealous or anything. I had a crush on him at the time, though, and it hurt me really bad when he would say that stuff, but I never said so, because I wanted to be a friend to him, and let him get his feelings out. But I just. cannot. get. over it.

The thing is, on paper, she is waaay better than me. I'm cute, but this girl is like, model gorgeous. And I'm just a wage slave, but she's a doctor. And my boy, Dan, should really be out of my league, anyway. I just always think, "He would rather be with her, or a girl like her. That's what he deserves" And I used to think, hey, it's a new relationship, you're just insecure, give it time, but I HAVE and it's been almost four years, and I still want to puke whenever I think about her (And I think about her a /lot/. Like, whenever I get sad, I will sit and obsess over every little thing he said back then, and make myself
sick I feel like a nut).

Or, like, the other day Dan saw a girl on TV talking, and he said, "she seems smart" and she kinda looked like Jane. And I kept my shit together, but I don't know. It really bugged me. I couldn't sleep that night, I just lay there thinking, "He still wants her. He's going to leave me." And the thing is, I am NOT the jealous type at all, I never have been, but I just like him so much. I know, in my head, that he loves me, and we are happy, and I need to let this go because it is stupid. He even saw her a couple months ago, and I could tell he didn't give a fuck. But in my heart, I think, this guy is so great, you don't deserve him, he is going to break your heart.

Tionna, please help me. How can I stop being so insecure about this? I just love him so much, I feel like my heart is laid open, and I am so afraid of him hurting me.

Stupid and Jealous

Dear Stupid and Jealous,

This letter made me smile for so many reasons. I am going to help you with this situation because insecurity is a thing that many people go through in their relationship. The first thing I must tell you is that I loved the fact that you wake up and ask yourself how did you get so lucky to have a man like that. I think that is beautiful when anyone feel that way about their mate.

Now let's get down to the nitty gritty.

When you and your boyfriend were just kicking it, you guys sat down and had heart to hearts (how sweet?). And he told you about this great chick that he loved to bone and how good she was as a woman (blah blah, blah). This was a long time ago but you still think about what he said and you think about this woman too. The first advice I must give you is, you have to get yourself together and stop thinking about the next chick because believe me, the next chick isn't thinking about you. If she was so freaking great he would still be with this woman but he's not so that says a lot right there. Oh please? You are the one who got the man. So what you're not a doctor; one's profession don't make them or break them. I know a lot of people who have great professions but have terrible souls. So freaking what?

And while we are on the subject, let's talk about your job. If you feel like you are a "wage slave", why don't you step your game up and get your career together! You wouldn't be intimidated by homegirl's job so much if you had something going on for yourself. I think you should truly wake up and find something that you are interested in doing for the long run especially if you feel that the guy you are with is way above you as well. I would never want to feel that way about a man and I don't want you to feel that way either.

Another thing I want you to know is, don't feel bad that he still thinks about Jane. So what? Everyone always think about the person who has done them dirty. It's sad but most people always love the person who shitted on them. Believe that. Maybe he felt that Jane was more of a challenge than you are. Here's some food for thought: You can't let your admiration for him be so obvious.

One thing that really made me disappointed in you is the fact that you said that you are cute but this girl is model-gorgeous. I don't care how this woman looks; you never downplay yourself for no one. You have to feel like no one is fucking with you regardless. Sure I have cellulite and may be 30 pounds overweight (ok, 50 pounds) but I walk with pride and I feel like I am the best thing smoking when I leave my house. And besides girlfriend, beauty is only skin deep. She probably isn't even all of that, it's just you feel that she is more popping than you are based on what he has said about her.

So girl the first thing we have to work on is your confidence, you have to build that up. I could tell you need to work on that by the way you describe yourself. Calling yourself a "wage slave" is not the move, babes. I also don't like that you say that he deserves better, if that's the case then maybe you two shouldn't be together. How can we believe you're right for him, if you don't believe it yourself? Feel me.

It just sounds like to me that you feel really intimidated by both Dan and Jane based on the things that you are lacking within yourself. And you are not being fair to you or Dan. So what he said—the lady on TV sounded smart—maybe he was dropping your ass a hint that it's time to enroll back in school or something. I think since you heard the word "smart", you automatically connected that back to what he told you about Jane.

Yeah, that's what you did.

Girl, I think if you get some swagger and upgrade yourself, everything will work out for you. And you will feel better about not only this situation but other situations to come. Who gives a damn about Jane? She's the past, you are the future. Hell, you probably think about her more than he does, so Girl, Get Your Mind Right! Seriously.

Another thing I have to let you know is, don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, discuss your jealousy of Jane to your man. Because I don't care how good of dude he is, this would be something he can throw back in your face later on and that right there will hurt you the most. So remember that and you will be the winner at the end of the day. I hope this all works out for you,

Love,

Tionna

Hey Tionna!

I've encountered a slightly embarrassing conundrum that I'm not exactly sure how to handle. In simple terms, my ex-boyfriend is a total cumdump. Our break-up was fairly messy, and the whole situation/shitshow has continued to escalate over the past few months. The problem is, we are friends with a lot of the same people. So, this past weekend I was at a friend's birthday party and sure enough, Cumdump was there. I tried my best to avoid him but to no avail, and we got into a pretty big public dispute in front of all of our friends. This is where it gets good (or bad, for me). He yelled out in front of everyone that my pussy stank (among other profanities and insults). My problem is, my pussy really did stink at one point in our relationship because, unbeknownst to me, I had Bacterial Vaginosis (however, I did figure there was something wrong because my vag smelled like get-the-fuck-out, but I didn't have it diagnosed until a little while later. Yeah...I know...kinda gross.) Anyways, how do I handle this situation? I mean, I don't want everyone to think that my beautiful cunt smells...even though it did at one point.

Any advice? Should I pour acid in his lube and call it even? Spread rumours that his cock and balls smell like a mix of sweat, cheese and feet? Or go the "mature" route and pretend I don't give a shit?

Sincerely,

My Vagina's Feelings Are Hurt

Now let me get this straight, you and your ex-boyfriend broke up on bad terms yet you guys have mutual friends. So recently you guys had an argument at a party and he blurted out in front of everyone that your coochie smelled a hot ass mess. And you admit that it did because you had BV unbeknownst to you. Wowzers. No, I don't find this gross. First of all, every woman has an off day down there whether they know it or not, so this is perfectly normal. It is also very normal especially in the hood that when you get in an argument with a person that you had sexual relations with, they always go for the gusto and say that your catbag stinks. So lucky for you, most of the people there are going to think that he said that just to embarrass you. If you look clean and they never witnessed the smell for themselves, they won't believe him.

But let me tell you a little something about BV. BV is one of the worse infections your vagina could ever experience; it makes you smell like a big, old, dirty plastic garbage pail. The smell is so bad that you have to walk around with your legs closed because you can smell it through your jeans. And I give it to you, the smell goes away sometimes so you don't really know that you have an infection but you have to be on top of your game and be the first one to smell yourself. You knew when you went and took a piss in the morning, something was smelling foul and right there and then, you should have took a trip to the good old GYN and found out what the hell was going on because your vagina is your center. Always remember that.

And let's just say that you couldn't make it that day, You were supposed to definitely refrain from sexual activity until you found out what the hell that smell was. So I blame that on you for him actually finding out. Because guys are like this, if one day you smell a little questionable, they will think ok, maybe her friend just left or maybe she didn't get in the shower before I got here. See, they will give you the benefit of a doubt. We all do. How many times have you went down on guy and his sack smelled a little tart? You feel me. You're not going to sit there the first time and say that he is a dirty person. No, you are going to wait for the second time and if it smells a little funky again, then you brand that person as a stink ass. So this guy had to smell that rotten smell so much that the day you guys had that argument, he just had to tell the world.

I am kind of glad you guys broke up because what real man would sit there and let you funk up the place. I die laughing when guys say that they went down on a woman even though she smelled. Like are you that desperate for sex? Come on. Note to any man that I may have sex with in the future, if I am smelling like the fish market hasn't been mopped in days, let me know. Don't let me get caught out there.

But don't worry; I have some surefire ways that you will never get caught out there smelling a hot mess again.

The first thing you must do is wash that coochie good. Don't be all cute and throw some soap and water down there and think it's clean. No, you have to open them lips up. Put some bodywash on that rag (yes, please bathe with a wash rag, that's the only way to get the nooks and crannies out the coochie) and YOU GO TO WORK; in and out and all over the town. Like I told my girls at camp, you go in and out of that cooch 40 times- count if it helps you. If you are a thick one like myself, lift that leg up and go to work. My second surefire way to a nice smelling cooch is to not let a person touch it who has not washed their hands. You ever drove home from a date with your boo and he is driving and he tries to touch you down there with his fingers? Freaky right? Wrong. He is driving, so all the dirt from that steering wheel is going down there and the dirt turns into bacteria and trigger off your PH and that's how you get infections like BV and it can make matters worse. He want to get all freaky, make sure he has some sanitizer, because it's your privacy and you have to be the person who make sure it's protected. Why you think they have the finger condoms? Hello.

The next thing you can do is, especially if you are recovering from an infection down there, is to carry some wet wipes with you. I'm not talking about the ones they make for women, use baby wipes. If those wipes can clean a shitty baby, it could do wonders for you. Just put those wipes in a ziplock bag and place it in your purse and when you know you are going to get freaky, excuse yourself to the bathroom and wipe it off and flush. Try not to pee after this point. No one wants to smell or taste someone who just pissed. Believe me! I hope every woman reading this remember this because this will help them so they wont be in the same situation as yourself.

Remember that you are your own worst critic, sometimes you have to TEST YOUR STUFF FOR YOURSELF. Place your finger down there and sniff. If it don't smell good to you, it damn sure won't smell good to him. That's my motto. And you guys out there, you know how they say at the New York Transit Authority, "If you see something, say something", well Tionna is going to change it up in Gawker terms for all the advice seekers out there: IF YOU SMELL SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING. Most women are pleasers and we would like your sexual experience to be as lovely as possible so please help us out. And with that being said, I will do the same. So you men out there better watch your balls, and wash your balls (wow, that should be this week's t-shirt)... You should also make sure that your partner is very clean because his dirty dingoling could have triggered your infection as well. And make sure you don't wear dirty underwear. Remember that your vagina is like luxury, it needs a lot of care and maintenance. It's a warm and aquatic place, so it needs your love.

I overall think that you should deny the shit out of his claims and just leave it alone. Leaving it alone will just make him seem like the bitter one and would have you smelling like roses (no pun intended). I sure hoped this helped you...

Sincerely,

Tionna.

Still have questions? Ask Tionna! Also, Tionna will give live advice at Paris Commune this Sunday the 28 at 8:00 pm, don't miss it!

Hi Tionna,

I am a 23-year-old guy who has been struggling with something. While all my friends have always seemed to end up on "bad" (that is, non-hanging out, if not non-speaking, terms) with their ex-girlfriends, the exact opposite is true for me. I have remained very good friends with the three women I've had significant relationships with. This may seem nice at first glance, but I ask you, Tionna, if this is actually just a pathetic mistake. Why would I say this? Because even though I wouldn't call any of my exes true bitches, all three of them chose to break up with me—they were the ones with power, treating me poorly (left me for other guys, etc)—and never the other way around. My guy friends think I'm a fool.

And by the way, I am all for turning the other cheek (I consider myself a good person), and I do like these girls on a non-sexual level, but I have to admit that the main motivation for continuing these friendships has always been physical. In fact, I have ended up having intimate "relations" (OK, sex) with all three exes after we broke up (and after they left the guys they left me for); both in the form of one-night things, as well as more friends-with-benefits type situations. Right now, though, I am getting nothing, we are still good friends that talk/hang out, and it's 100% their choice as to what happens.

Tionna, what do you think? Am I an idiot for still being so close with them? The potential for hooking up again or maybe even restarting something greater has been too convenient and alluring to pass up. I have a good job, a good education, but I can't help but feel like a loser owned by his exes.

Signed,
Reluctant To Move On

P.S. You are the best advice columnist I've ever read. Best decision Gawker ever made.

Dear Reluctant to Move On,

Thank you for calling me the best advice columnist ever but baby, you are being a fool. I totally agree with your friends. These chicks are using you because you are a nice guy. It's like this: if they could have all the same benefits of being your friend as they did when they were your girlfriend then why not do it while they sit there and bone other guys (you get it?) The problem isn't the fact that you befriend your exes because believe me, you should be nice to your ex, it's the mature thing to do but this is way out of hand. And these chicks run in packs- they see you be friends with the first ex and then the second, and the using cycle keeps going on and on. Trust.

I don't know about you babes, but I don't like when people mistreat me so why would you befriend these exes if they treated you so bad while you guys were in a relationship? If they weren't cool when you were in a relationship with them chances are they aren't cool now. It seems like you have a problem letting go of the past and moving on. I have a question for you, how do you expect to get a nice girl who wants to take you seriously if you keep on befriending these chicks. The rule of exes is be friendly not friends because most exes consider themselves friends because they still are reaping the benefits. That's the problem too. Having sex with your exes is good for them and totally wrong for you. It's good for them because they get to be intimate with someone they boned already, so its like they are not losing anything, besides, exes like you are what we consider as safe. It's bad for you because feelings get involved and you don't know when to cut that cord because you are still hitting that.

They are basically using you as the escape goat. Its like my man is acting up or he dumped me or I am lonely, let me call my ex, he will answer. You understand??? Then you said right now you are not getting anything because its their choice, I see if you had enough game to get some of that whenever you want then it will be an asset to you but right now their friendship is a liability my friend. The bad thing is that you are not even being friends with them because you want to, you're being friends with them only because you think that you are going to reconnect or rekindle an old flame (basically get some ass). As I wrote in my book, "Girl, Get Your Mind Right!"—sex is mental and you can't let it control you or your actions—you have to see past the coochie. Seriously.

Like you said, you have a good job and an education; you don't have to settle for being duped by these exes. I think you should take some time out for yourself and figure out why you got into all of this mess with these trifling women and then go out and get you someone that is for you and that wants to be your bread and butter honey. In other words, leave those scallywags alone! Remember you are a good man who is not to be used by anyone... Foreal.

Love Always,

Your favorite advice columnist in the whole entire world

Dear Tionna,

I never thought that I would be so down that I would write into an advice column. Here is my problem (I have to change some things around because someone, or even you will figure out who I am):

About a year or so ago I was kind of well known and a little popular, but now I've fallen off. Granted, I have stopped going the places that I used to go, but I feel like an outcast because no one talks to me anymore (I don't even get comments on MySpace). I know you'll say that I shouldn't worry about other people and I should do me, and what not, but I thrive off of attention. I'm not self-loathing or anything like that, but i was never popular in HS so my pseudopopularity kinda gave me a taste of the high school life that I never had. So my question is this: what can I do to get back in the loop? I know that I can start going to places that I went and I can mingle and such, but a lot of people have left a bad taste in my mouth because of them not attending an event that I was a part of last year. Like Karrine Steffans said in her book (which was horrible by the way), no one wants to hear, "didn't you used to be somebody"?

I'm not from this city, so it's not like I have hordes of people that I was cool with prior to my popularity. I kinda worked my way into the scene... I didn't know anyone when I moved here...

Thanks in advance,

No Longer An It Girl....

Dear No Long an It Girl,

I know how it feels to be an outcast and to feel like all of your friends just dropped off the face of the earth. It happened to me! (Damn, what hasn't happen to me?) Before I wrote my book, I hung out with a whole bunch of females that were considered popping. As time went on I became more serious with my goals and hate drove us all apart. So I know how it feels to start back to square 1.

You also said that in high school you weren't very popular and that's why sometime now you need attention. One thing I must tell you is, don't make excuses for needing attention because believe it or not, everyone needs attention. I would be mad too if I was the "it" girl then one day I woke up and had no emails or comments on Myspace. It will bother a lot of other people too so don't beat yourself up about it. Another thing is, you can't live your life off of what you didn't have in high school. You have to work on moving on from that time. So what you weren't popular? Imagine if you had been, you would have even more problems than you do now. Yeah you would of have had the "has been" disease. So brush that ish off, immediately.

I don't know why but it seems like something in this email is missing; for example, what happened that made people not like you? Like did a certain situation go down with one girl and then everything went downhill from there? Like what exactly happened that made you turn from a hero to a zero in other people's eyes? That's the first question you must ask and answer for yourself. I personally think that not being in the loop is one of the best things that could ever happen to you because maybe it was time for you to create your own social scene. Maybe before you were just an accessory in someone else's world and now it's time to make it your own. Just like when my ex-friends and I separated; I felt bad but then I said fuck it, they are out of my life for a reason. And that reason was so I could grow as a person and meet other new and exciting people. Yeah they were starting to bore me...

I took that time of being socially alone and rebuilt myself and my surroundings. I looked into myself and figured out what happened with my old associates and what I did wrong in the situation. In my situation, it was my mouth. Most of my friends couldn't deal with my personality. I was the type of girl that if you asked me a question, I would tell you the truth no matter how bad it made you feel and a lot of people can't handle that. So oh well, friendships are like relationships, you have to hang around people who love you for you. Hell, it's their loss.

You are right, I do think that you shouldn't worry about other people and go out there and do your thang but I know that that is easier said then done. I think you should just think about it like this. Forget all of the bullcrap from the past and meet brand new people. Hey, you can even start on Myspace or go join an organization that interests you. Meeting new people will help you start all over and then go out there and do you. So what they didn't come to an event you were throwing last year, get over it! No one owes you anything. You're starting to sound like an ex friend of mine who cursed everybody out and sent F-U letters to everyone who didn't attend her graduation party. That is childish. You said that the people you once hung out with left a nasty taste in your mouth, so you don't need to be back hanging out with them anyway.

Believe me, once they see you got your swagger back and got yourself a new and improved crew, they will be dying to get back into your world (whether they admit it or not)... And if none of this works, come hang out with me and my new crew.

Peace Out!
Tionna Smalls

P.S. You definitely need some friends when you start quoting Superhead (that means you have too much time on your hands, lol).

Ask Tionna!

• To Whom It May Concern:

  Good morning,

  My name is Carolyn [REDACTED]. I reside in Naperville, Illinois. I am interested in applying for a celebrity assistant's position, and hope you can assist me. I can be reached at [REDACTED].or [REDACTED]. I would also be willing to send you my resume if required.

  I look forward to hearing from you soon.

  
  

• [To: Perez Hilton] BET YOU WISH SOMEONE WOULD "THREW" YOU A BONE!!!

  WHIP OUT THAT CREDIT CARD AGAIN, PEZHEAD, AND PAY / ORDER UP SOME
  DICK....YOU SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY NEED IT!

  YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF SOME CHAD HUNT SIZED COCK UP THAT FAT SLACK
  STRETCH-MARKED BUTT OF YOURS TO EASE TO OBVIOUS TENSION!

  XOXO,
  GOSSIP GIRL

  
  

• Hello. Goodbye...Hello. I am MisterArteest and I am an ApprehensiveBlogger, I will Announce this at TheOutset. TheApprehension is borne from an IdealSpirit, an IdealSpirit that believes in the OldWay, in the Authentic, in TheClassic, in the Atavistic&Bicameral, in TheForms of Literary Conquests ByPaper and ByPen, not ByComputer and MostCertainly not ByBlog ...I would prefer to do It like HenryMiller did It or JimmyCarroll, or Baudelaire or Bukowski... Maybe an adequate Analogy could be that of an AspiringThespian of TheStage or SilverScreen attempting to become a RealityTelevision Star...Part of Me thinks Blogging to be a ShortCut, a Fad, a Trend, a PopularInstrument of ArmchairDilettants... Part of Me thinks Blogging is NothingMore than an EmptyDiary of Words for the Vapid&Bored...Part of Me believes there are NoLiteraryPoints to be Earned in this Arena...Part of Me wants to save MyMaterial for a HardBack in a Bookstore...Part of Me thinks by becoming a 'Blogger', I am choosing to Chop my IdealSpirit off at TheKnees and dive into ThePool of Self Dilution that is the 'Blogosphere'...Part of Me believes Life is a Series of Resignations...Part of Me wants to cease flooding the EmailBoxes of MyFriends&Family and instead give Them a Choice...Part of Me thinks I will be Unsuccessful in Attracting a Readership...Part of Me doesn't think I will adequetly or comprehensively Articulate my Positions, and in turn, Be Misinterpreted...Part of Me thinks this will open some Doors that might otherwise RemainShut...Part of Me doesn't...I may not be here long, this GrandBloggingExperiment may be ShortLived...We will see...Whatever my PersonalHangups may be, in TheInterim, I hope You All will, at least in some S mallWay, be left with something to ChewOn...Cheers...

  
  

• It is only ten minutes past and I am watching the Real World, and I want to jump through the screen and smack these bitches! These girls are more than the usual catty girls you see on TV...Trisha...You have a boyfriend, get over the guy that "you saw first" and let somebody who doesn't have one have him. These girls are so blind that they are being played by a very hot Aussie...The girls need to get a clue...And
  lastly, this girl Shauvon is on my last nerve. She is ready to blow up during every conversation, and it's
  just a bit much. ALL three of the girls with the exception of Parisa, who is the only one with any
  sense, are HORRIBLE 2-Faced bitchy little girls...I've said my piece...good night.

  P.S. The southern boy always seems to soothe me...even though I slightly detest the sound of his voice 9
  times out of 10.

  
  

• Went to Launch of "Rigged" new monster book by Ben Mezrich! Can't wait for the movie!

  
  

• Mick Jagger's well fed bodyguard.

  
  

• Not that Taylor Hicks is on anyones radar right now but this is a pretty big scandal and you guys should break this story. In May 2007 Splash News released photos of Taylor Hicks with some woman on the beach. The girl was some piece of ass. But Hicks camp lied to save his priest like image and said it was some Milwaukee newsnanchor named Caroline Lyders that was his girlfriend. The real girl is some chick from Kansas City and she was just a fling. She set him up with those pictures. [And so on and so on.]

  
  

• What the hell? I was all nice and signed in, and I was watching the comments go by and commenting... and then it demanded I reload... now I see the stupid party, but no comments no matter how many times I reload.

  Denton is going to die. And I'll be the guy standing over his corpse with a confusing look on his face.

  
  

• Dear Tionna, I have a question and I wanted to know your opinion. I produce a home amateur sex series using mostly teenage girls. ([URL REDACTED] ) I'm 40-something years old and my best friend thinks I'm too old for this line of work and feels that these girls need to be experiencing sex with someone their own age. I feel that as long as the girl is 18+ and she consents to appear in my videos, that's her free will choice and age should not be a factor in whom I'm fucking. I'm not forcing them. I feel no moral duty to showcase females in my own age group. I question is simple: Does using teenagers to appear in my videos violate some 'moral code' or do you feel that my friend is simply playa hatin the fact that I can still pull young shawties?

  Awaiting your insight and wisdom,

  Big Belly Rick

Hey Tionna,

I have a friend that has been working for an organization called [REDACTED]. My friend has been with this company for about 3 years. At this organization she has trained the majority of the employees including myself and worked continuously on [REDACTED's] website, I mean this girl bent over backwards for this company to show her loyalty and I have to say they treated her like shit. There was an assistant supervisor position that was vacant at this company and they bypassed my friend to give it to someone whose spelling and grammar is off and has no people skills at all...I'm not telling you this cuz she is my friend, but other coworkers at this company feels the same way ... not to mention they wanted my friend to continue working on the website with no compensation and continue to help with other employees with no benefits.

Basically they want her to do the other girls job with no compensation, while she sits on her ass looking pretty. I feel bad for her because she is a hard worker and there isn't many people in the world today that is dedicated like she is and self motivated and considerate. Her feelings were crushed when she heard she wasn't getting the promotion that was promised to her from her direct supervisor. This girl deserves better. Tionna what should I tell my friend... she is ready to resign....these mother F***'s has allot of nerve. At this organization if you're not white or Hispanic your A** would not accomplish anything.

HOLLA BACK.....MAD BLACK WOMAN......

Dear Mad Black Woman,
This is totally a problem and I have been there and done that so I can definitely help you out on this one. Before I became the writing extraordinaire/advice diva I am now, I was a customer service/sales representative in a storage company in Long Island City. When I first started the job, I loved it. So I took on more responsibilities than I was asked to perform. At this time I was only making a slim $9 per hour. But honey, I worked it. What made me stay despite the horrible pay and bad hours (12-8pm), was the rapport between my co-workers and I. We had a great relationship. Months passed and my hourly rate increased, I took on more things. I showed them that I knew how to do certain things in the computer. I became their marketing go to girl—overall, their black buck.

Finally I realized that, considering all of my duties, I wasn't being compensated the way I felt I should have been. Here I go doing marketing reports and I'm here at a front desk. Hell, where is my cubicle? After a while, I realized that I could have been doing my boss' job. So I went out and applied for similar positions as hers, and received plenty of offers but based on fear, I turned them down. I finally received the courage to say Tionna Smalls doesn't want to be a manager of a storage facility; she wants to be able to buy a storage facility one day. So I enrolled my ass back in school and a few months later. I resigned. Here is the good part, you ready for this? Before I resigned, I was told that I was going to get paid for some "sick" days that I had taken to go down south to see my Grandmother for Thanksgiving. Once my supervisor found out that I was out, she reneged on that promise.

So when I left after staying for not two weeks but a whole entire month and a half later (so that they had enough time to train the new chick), I received no going away party and my check was tragically eaten out. I was pissed but it showed me something: JOBS TREAT THEIR EMPLOYEES A CERTAIN WAY BECAUSE THEY DON'T NEED YOU.

Yeah, we all want to believe that if we left our place of employment that it will burn up in fire and no work will get done, but we're wrong. Jobs can find an employee that will work your job for even less money and they wouldn't give a hot shit about benefits, etc. What I realized also is that it's up to you whether or not you're going to be taking bad treatment from a job. Sometimes, as bill paying people, we take our jobs wayyyyyyyyy too serious. At the end of my job route, I was stressed. My hair on the side was falling out and I was becoming a raging bitch. I hated all the customers and I just wanted to shoot my co-workers and when you get to that point like any relationship, it's time to be out!

So what I think you and your friend should do in a position like this is take y'all asses on Craigslist, Monster.com, or Simplyhired.com, and look for another freaking job. Life is hard enough, who needs to be stressed at work, a place where you're smarter than your boss anyway. I feel sorry that she didn't get the position but hey, tell her to take that in stride and keep it moving because there are other jobs that will appreciate a multi-tasker like herself. But while she is there, she should continue doing the website just to keep the peace and so she won't look like she is being petty because she didn't get the position. If she is all of the things you said she was (hardworking and self motivated) then she will see this. What we all have to remember is JOB stands for JUST OVER BROKE. Please, this is neither one of your careers, so bounce. It's going to be hard because you both have been at the job for a while but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. I used to be attached to my job too until I realized that what P. Diddy said was true- IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS BABY. Whatever job is paying more and giving you more (benefit wise), then holla at them. It's different for those who are in careers they love because most of us aren't doing it for the money; we do it for the love of what we do...but for people, who just have a job, please...

In closing, I noticed that you said that if you are not White or Hispanic, your ass wouldn't accomplish anything at that work place. That's a huge problem. A problem so huge, you could get pizaid (yes, I said pizaid) on a law suit for that. Make sure that this accusation is correct, get proof, and address it to your higher ups. If nothing is done about this after you bring it forth to the light, then go see Al Sharpton, I think I have his number on speed dial. I hope this made you feel better and would love for you guys to write me an update,

Love Always,

Tionna Tee Smalls

Ask Tionna!

Tionna, what should I do? I can't get away from my feelings for one woman, who isn't even my girlfriend. I met her when she was about to break up with one man, and thought I would be next in line, but I got out of control and blew it. Now she's with another man, and I can't help hoping I can pull it off this time by just being myself and acting cool, and hoping it all works out without me making a play for her and screwing things up. I need to stay cool, keep it together, and basically not care if I get her or not, because it's basically a longshot. She may move away or take up with some other man or who knows what. I am so not cool. Should I stop being friends with her? or What?

Signed,
Wish I Were Cooler

PS: I forgot to add that her current boyfriend is a real asshole and she's about to break up with him, but not before a lot of drama...

Dear Wish I Were Cooler,

I don't even know you and I think that you could do better. Let's take a look at all of the facts that we have on the table. You met this woman when she was about to break up with her man, you thought that you were next in line but you "started getting out of control and blew it" so now she is with another guy and you still want to be next. Wowzers.

You seem like a nice, loving, and passionate guy to me. I could tell by the words that you are using in this letter, so I know she knows that. So what she is doing is getting her entrée and side dishes at the same time. It's like, she likes you but the reality of it is, you are too nice for her. Your first mistake was sticking around once she got the second man on you. That right there showed her that you really cared and you weren't going anywhere. Don't worry, as they say, everybody plays the fool sometimes.

She tried to act like you acting out of control and impatient is the reason why she didn't get with you. But the truth is, she didn't have any intentions of being with you so she made up some bullshit excuse so it could seem like it's your fault. I don't blame you for liking her because we all like the person that doesn't like us like that- that's the real problem in the world of love. My mother told me something a long time ago something that I am just starting to realize is the truth-love the person who loves you. That right there is the truth. Many times we waste our attention on these losers who wouldn't know a good thing if it hit them on their forehead. Who has time for that?

Besides, this chick likes the guys who treat her bad. People who like assholes are suffering from self-esteem problems within and who the hell wants to deal with that? I know you don't. Please, get rid of that broad. Yes, you need to stop being friends with her because then maybe she will see what she messed up with. I love disappearing on my old boos and believe me it works because we all think about people who are not in our face. It's a real ego thing. If you just be like you know what, I see were going no where fast and stop dealing with her and stop dealing with her foreal, she will wake the hell up (trust me). And even if she doesn't, she is a bird, you are not losing anything. Go out there and do your thing because you are a good man that any woman would love to get with, so dump her, get your swagger back, and MOVE ON!

Love, Tionna Smalls

Dear Tionna,

I love your column and you are the only one I see giving any reasonable advice. My problem. I was in a really bad relationship for 5 years with a free-loading, two-timing, drug-abusing loser. He used to do nothing but drink Jack Daniels, cut himself, and put me down because I didn't support him in a nice enough apartment. After five years (I was young and stupid) I finally "got my head right" and got the hell out of there. I've now been single for almost 2 years. I took some time to get my head together. But now I have no idea how to start dating again. It's been seven years! And the world has changed! I'm in school now and there is this really cute and appropriate guy in my class (smart, sweet, no apparent mental illness AND a job). I looked him up online on myspace and friendster too. I'm in big crush land, and I'm too old for this shit. How do people handle this now? We chit chat in class but I have no idea how to bring it beyond that. Do I just ask him out on a date? Ask him to be my "friend" on myspace? How do people meet these days without stalking? Modern love...Please help!

Thanks,

Right But Not Right Now

Dear Right But Not Right Now,

Thank you for the compliment regarding the column. I try to give the best advice I can. First and foremost, I have to commend you for leaving that bad relationship that you previously had. I tell a lot of people this, verbal abuse can be worse than physical abuse and I am glad that you were able to see that and got the hell out of there. So kudos to you. Anyway, now it seems like you have your mind right and you have a crush on someone new. I think that is very exciting especially because you gave yourself time to heal from the past loser. So really you are on the good foot.

Now the first thing I must tell you is that you are too old to have a crush on someone; crushes are for teenagers. You are a grown ass man; it's time for you to take control of your life and go after what you want. Unlike most people who have a huge admiration (as I like to call it) for a person, you have direct access to him. He is in your class. How great is that? My advice for you is to just go and do it. Come up to him in a subtle way and just say, "Hey, I have to talk to you about something." He probably already has a clue to what it is and see if he has a minute to talk or arrange to talk to him somewhere else like in the cafeteria or in the Library (I mean they say no talking in the Library but who cares?). Lay it out on the table for him! Tell him that you are digging his style and that you would like to get to know him better. Possibly take him out to dinner or a play or something nice.

Remember that since the date is your idea, you have to front the bill. That is the rules. LOL. And if he is digging you back, he will say yes but if he isn't then he will shy away from the idea and say something like, "yeah that's a good idea, I would let you know because I have been so busy lately." When someone says something in that area, chances are they're really not that interested so make sure you work that out. I wouldn't recommend requesting him as a friend this early in the game because if he is as cute as you say he is, he gets hit on online all of the time and wouldn't take your feelings serious. Take it from me, I'm pretty hot and guys hit on me online all of the time but I don't take it too seriously. You feel me?

Like I said, just holla at him and if he doesn't holla back, then leave it alone. At least you know that you put it all out on Front Street. Think about it like this, how could you win it, if you're not in it? And if he does take you up on your offer, I will be happy for you and make sure you go hard or go home because I am even expecting for you two to have a great date. Keep me posted, seriously!

XOXO,

Your favorite Advice Columnist Tionna Smalls

Ask Tionna!

Dear Tionna,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and I love him very, very much. Unfortunately, I've accidentally fallen in love with a friend of mine at the same time. I swear to God I didn't mean to. Since realizing my mistake, I've been tempted to throw caution to the wind and break up with my BF to date this friend. I've thought about it a million times, because he makes me laugh and turns me the fuck ON like no one else I've met. I've nixed this idea a million times, too, because I've seen how my friend can be really obnoxious, often self-absorbed, unable to communicate feelings, and really bad to women he's dating (cheating, manipulation, you name it).

I've decided over and over again that this guy is relationship poison but I can't stop toying with the idea! It's making me feel like a moron. Tell me how to get my mind right!

Thanks,
OCD

Hi OCD,

Your letter made me smile—haha! "I've accidentally fallen in love with a friend of mine." I have a question for you: how do you accidentally fall in love with someone? Anyway, so you have fallen in love with a good friend, now you want to break up with your man for this great friend, you have thought a lot about this, but your friend is kind of a jerk to other women he had in the past, so you are a little hesitant.

Well, I think you are smart to be a little wary of this guy's intentions. If he was a manipulator to these other women, what makes you think he's not manipulating your ass right now? You see, you have to look at every detail of a person before you give up your happy home. He may treat you well as a friend, that doesn't mean he will treat you well once he has you as his mate.

I also believe that if manipulation is in a man's heart, he will try that on any woman no matter how good she is to him, so please beware of that... I must say, OCD, you are luckier than most girls. You know the guy that you are about to be with so you already know that your heart may get crushed. Other girls just get their heart crushed with no warning.

I just think: his resume isn't looking that good, so why give him the job? Because, when he hurts you, he is going to say that you knew how he got down before you got with him. You feel me?

Another thing is, you have been with your man for over three years. You didn't say that you want to leave him because he is a prick or because he is cheating on you. It seems to me that you are leaving him due to your greediness. Don't do it girl, because if you dump your man for this guy and you end up getting played by homeboy, you are going to feel like a real LOSER. [Ed. Note: Or! Break up with your boyfriend anyway, because if you have such strong feelings for someone else it might be a sign your relationship is over, no?!]

xoxo
Tionna

Hey Tionna,

I am in love for the first time with the guy that I am currently dating. It has been 6 months, and we haven't said I love you yet. I want to say it— and half of my friends say to wait, the others say to say it. I don't want to scare him off. What do you think I should do?

Questioning in Queens

Dear Questioning in Queens,

The answer to this is quite obvious; you love the man, go and tell him you love him. I commend you for waiting six months to tell him how you really feel. Most people jump and tell someone they love them in like a month so kudos to you. I really don't think you will scare him off, just be real and don't sound too corny when you are saying it to him. Just go for it but don't be offended if he doesn't say it back but most likely he will say it back. One should never play games when they are in love; games could ruin your relationship. Ask yourself, how would he know if you love him if you don't tell him? You get it? Just do it and keep in touch and let me know what he said back in return.

Tionna

HAD A QUESTION!!

IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN LOVE (SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE) AND YOUR FUTURE/CAREER...WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE....HAVE FIND MYSELF AT A CROSSROAD AND KINDA STUCK.

GET BACK ..ABBY

Dear Abby,

This is a great question. I always ask women this at my luncheons: which one would they take in life, love or success? Most of the women write that they will take love over success but bump that. I say take the great opportunity. I agree with Eminem when he says that you only got one shot, do not miss your chance to blow because opportunity only comes once in a lifetime.

Please, men will always be around. When you are rich, when you're poor, or even when you are in between. A man that truly loves you will let you follow your dreams and still be there for you. I know it seems like you will never feel this way again but believe me that is bullcrap. You will be in love again if he decides to bounce or whatever he may be putting in your ear.

I'm not saying that it's cool to be lonely or whatever, but your future is what counts. Thats what you were put in this world to do—to be the best you that you could possibly be. I want you to go after your dreams and if he's not down with the program then he gots to go. I think that you are a smart girl and I know that in the end you will go after those dreams.

Remember Abby, reach for the moon; even if you miss you're still amongst those stars.

Questioning? Ask!!

Dear Tionna,

I'm a lesbian. I've been dating this girl Suzanne on and off for close to three years. She's absolutely wonderful, possesses all the characteristics you'd desire in someone you want to be with long-term. I'm in love with her. Recently during an "off" period she got drunk and slept with a girl she'd been wanting to sleep with for a long time, who happens to be my ex-girlfriend Molly. Worse, Suzanne didn't tell me; I found out a few weeks after it happened from Molly. When I confronted Suzanne about it she said that she didn't want to tell me because it didn't mean anything. Suzanne and Molly work near each other, and whenever I go to pick up Suzanne from work we run into Molly. I want to punch Suzanne in the face because I feel so betrayed, since I would not even have known had Molly not told me! However, Suzanne insists it was a stupid one-time thing. I love her very much but I just can't bear the idea of Suzanne and Molly together.

Crying in Clinton Hill

Dear Crying in Clinton Hill,

First off, dry those tears! Tionna is here to help you. What Suzanne did was maddd wack. She broke the code; she messed with your ex girl. You said that this was someone that she wanted to get down and dirty with and you knew that. I have learned in my past with heavy drinkers that a drunk tongue speaks the truth, so her sleeping with Molly is something that she wanted to do and she did it.

I will give Suzanne some credit: she did admit that she cheated once she was busted. Most people don't! And Molly only told you because she's a hater and mad that you have moved on with your life and have someone new that you love and adore. Like you said, a person with the "characteristics."

Molly isn't really a threat. However, she can turn into one based on the fact that she works near Suzanne. But I think if you think Suzanne really has a thing for Molly and you still want Suzanne ... Do what my friend D did: Make it a 3-some relationship! People do it every day. They live in a relationship with three people. I am so serious and it works for them. Then you won't have to be stressed because you know everything. Think about it like this- you had sex with Molly, you had sex with Suzanne, Suzanne had sex with you, Suzanne had sex with Molly, Molly had sex with you, Molly had sex with Suzanne. Hell, y'all a team already and dont even know it. So why not reap the benefits of having two women since Molly is always around anyway.

But if you don't want anything to do with Molly at all in that way or can't face seeing them two being intimate around you, then end all ties with Molly and ask Suzanne to make a choice. I know it will hurt if she picks Molly over you but at least you will know what's up. See what happens. But I still think the triad thing would be a great idea.

Ooh, definitely let me know how this goes.

Tionna

Tionna,

I'm in a big problem. I've been seeing this guy for the past year; now it hasn't been the best of relationships but I've become emotionally attached and there are times i just want to walk away. I haven't met any of his close friends/family or really know that much about him. I've spend almost every night with him and in the past I've snooped ... YES ... I snooped and found e-mails/myspace messages and texts all that allude to the fact that he maybe cheated on me if not physically then definitely verbally. He has a Myspace and never approves any of my comments and hides his friends so i can't see them. Aside from that the relationship hasn't been that great. He stays home all of the time when he's not working and never goes out with me. Granted I haven't been with anyone else but I have gone out with other guys when he is to lazy and stays home. So you're probably wondering why I'm still with him. I guess i am too. Overall, he is a sweet guy and cares for me but he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve.

So this past weekend I ran into his friends and of course they do not know me but through the power of Myspace i know who they are and what they look like. I told my b/f they were there and hitting on me...but i never once told them who i was since the b/f wouldn't like that so i remained a mystery. Meanwhile his good friend—a very hot friend—was hitting on me nonstop. I forgot what it was like to have some guy hit on me even if he just wanted to get in my panties. Oh I forgot to mention i was with a guy friend of mine who apparently liked me more than just a friend. So the guy (the friend of my b/f) asked for my number but I didn't give it to him instead I took his and danced the night away with him. Tionna, all I keep thinking about is this dude and i know it's wrong and I'm not that slutty girl that breaks up friendships or any of that but i think I'm fascinated with something NEW and EXCITING and I'm tempted every day to just pick up the phone and call him.

Please help..what would you do?

ttyl - LP

Dear LP,

Your problem really isn't a big problem but many women go through these same issues. First, you never met any of his family or close friends, then you snooped into his email/Myspace (a no-no), then you assumed that he has cheated on you based on your snooping. LMAO.

First off, let be the first to tell you that Myspace is a relationship killer. When I was a freshman in college, I took a class on Internet and Identity and you know what the whole thesis of the class was that people's identities change when their real one is shielded by the computer. So what you may think is "cheating" is what we call in the hood "Myspace G." That is G meaning game. Everyone on Myspace plays a game. That's why so many people love it. You can be whatever you want on Myspace; a baller, a single guy, a singer, whatever. Its all game so don't assume he's cheating on you from that bullcrap.

Another thing is, theres no such thing as verbal cheating. Verbally, we can say what the hell we want. That doesn't mean that we mean it. If he's online telling some chick yeah, we gotta hook up or whatever, that doesn't mean anything. I have over 4,000 friends on Myspace and get plenty of messages of men saying what they would and wouldn't do to me because I can't do anything to them, they don't know my ass. So who cares? That's how people think. If talking was a sin, we would all be in hell right now—feel me?

So don't use that against him and stop snooping! That is corny and we always end up being the ones hurt by that (I have learned that the hard way) and now it's something you can pass along to someone else.

Lastly, your man forgot that what he doesn't do another man will be happy and willing to do in a hot NY minute. But you can't teach him that by taking his friend's number on the low. All that does is make you seem like a skeet and maybe that's why he didn't want to introduce you to his friends in the first place. Communication is the key in any relationship, so go and talk it out with him. Put everything on the table and if his response doesn't bring closure to the problem, leave his laid back ass alone.

Good luck and keep in touch,

Tionna

Come on, just ask her!

Hey there Ms. Smalls,

I know you're on your cruise now but I need some advice. You know how Rhianna is a good girl gone bad according to her omnipresent "Umbrella" song? Well I'm a bad girl trying to go good. I had MANY youthful indiscretions. Crazy, over the top, Penthouse Forum indiscretions. Seriously I look back and cringe. But I'm a little older, a little wiser and I'm trying to reform myself and actually date instead of letting my hormones lead me. Which brings me to my question, what the hell do I talk to these guys about? How do I get them on the hook? I have a couple male friends and I can sort of talk to them but when I'm around guys I like I do not know what to do. I am incapable of coy or subtle and unless it's trivial pursuit I'm not one for games. Gimme some real and tell me what I need to do.

Call Me,

All Wet

Dear All Wet,

It seems to me that you still have a few ho-tendacies that you need to work out; even though you say that you have gotten over all those "youthful indiscretions." Like the name "All Wet"—what is that about?

Maybe the actual problem is you. Think about it. It sounds like you can't get over your freaky thoughts long enough to focus on other things that relate to the opposite sex.

From my experience with men, I found out that they like to talk about only two things and that is SEX & SPORTS. I think you know enough about bumping and grinding so you can bypass that subject but girl, you need to learn the sport of his choice. [Ed Note: this is terrible advice!] For an example, I once liked a guy who loved basketball. I grew up watching the game with my father but I really didn't know what was going on. So, what did I do? Girl, I learned the sport and got the guy.

You see, anything that you focus on long enough you will get. And since you are single you will have to brush yourself up on the 3 major sports, basketball, football, and baseball (because men like all different kind of sports). I bet if you learn sports, you will get the guy. [Ed: Gah! Nooo!]

But just incase your guy is a prude, talk to him about stocks, politics, and/or the War in Iraq. Just have something more to say than "Come baby, come baby, baby, baby, come, come-You gotta give me loving, you gotta give me some." That's from a song just incase you didn't know that. You said that you are trying to make a change in your life for the better, but don't talk about it, be about it! And remember that you must be patient because change doesn't happen overnight.

The one thing that you did say that was on the money was that you plan on dating instead of letting your hormones get the best of you. That is definitely what's up. Date, listen to people, and then as you get to know them, the conversation will develop.

Allowing your hormones to take over you will only leave you duped in the end and like I always say, never dupe yourself! So overall, learn something about sports, read the Sunday NY Times so you can learn something else about the world besides the sex advice section in Cosmopolitan Magazine, and love yourself more so that you won't succumb to your sexual weaknesses especially if you're not getting anything out of it in the end. And if none of this seems to work for you, just continue to get laid.

XOXO,

Tionna Smalls

Still got questions? Ask Tionna!

Dear Tionna,

Ok I'm having a REALLY BIG PROBLEM. In order for you to completely understand I have to do a little bit of background information. I used to date this guy who is in an organization that I am in (we will call him "Q"). We dated for 2 years, the same amount of time I've been in this organization, and in these 2 years I have become best friends with another guy (who is also in the same organization and we will call him "R"), now during the time of me dating Q, he cheated on me and I found out. Long story short [Ed: uh, no?] me and Q broke up, however me and R started dating, I also must say that because me and R are best friends he was around for the whole me and Q mess and he was around when I found out Q was cheating on me and when me and Q broke up, I basically spent many nights crying on his shoulder. Now comes my problem, R is cheating on me. He's not only cheating on me with a girl who is interested in our organization (that's a bad thing because if this girl does decide to join our organization she and I will be VERY VERY close), but he is also cheating on me with other guys. Now the reason I know this is because I did a bad thing and snooped through his account and I found IMs that show him hooking up with other guys and IMs that prove he was with this other girl (Ive asked him about the other girl and he keeps denying it). As you probably figured out this causes a lot of problems in our "relationship" because I know that he's cheating but he doesn't know I know. The reason why I won't say anything is pretty obvious, the ONLY reason I know that he's cheating is because I snooped.

So, now I'm wondering what should I do.

Can't Keep It On The Down Low

Dear Can't Keep It,

Don't walk! Run, chick, run! Your first mistake was that you went out with a friend who knew all the business that went down between you and Q. Since R was your friend, he knows your vulnerable points and he is taking advantage of you. Secondly, I am assuming that this is a male that you didn't know or didn't suspect had a little sugar in his tank. Its not the fact that he's playing in the boys' room, it's the fact that he's stuck in the closet. Uh huh! He's dealing with boys, he's dealing with girls, and in 2007, there is too much nasty disease going around to be acting sexually irresponsible. Then he's cheating on top of that. Damn, he didn't have the audacity to ask you to join. Lmao.

But foreal, you don't wanna get that drip down there just because u don't want to get rid of him. So tell him to beat it. And another thing missy, don't be snooping into anyone's (not even your man's) instant messages because you are always liable to find out something that you didn't want to find out. You feel me?

Oh yeah, I want you to leave that organization too. Your ex cheating man, your new man's ho, and your down low brother man is all in that same organization. What the hell is this organization called—Tramps Anonymous? It's too much. Go Google organizations that have the same mission statement or ingredients as your current organization. I guarantee that will help ya.

And talking about that trick that was messing with your bi-on-the-low man, oh well. Think about it like this, it's better her than you. She is not the problem. The problem is him: He's a slutbag. I just sure hope
that you made him put a hat on his willy (a condom) because he is a nasty cheater. If you didn't wear a condom, don't fret, my pet! Go get that AIDS test, asap! If you are uninsured like most young people in
NYC, go to the city's free clinic in Chelsea. You can find out your results in no time. Good luck on that and keep me posted!

Love,

Tionna Tee Smalls

Mind not right? Need advice? Ask Tionna!

Previously: "Men That Knows They Are Not On Your Level Will Do Anything To Bring You Down"