Actresses make a lot of money. As do movie studios who adapt video games into terrible movies. A great actor died, a promising actress takes wing, and new reality shows make us want to do terrorism.

Yeah, this whole Depression thing sucks miserably. But have a little perspective. It's a miracle that we're even here at all. Huge, angry balls of ice and rock have been soaring through space trying to kill us forever. But they have failed every single time! Well, okay, they nailed the dinosaurs, but dinosaurs were…

Look, we know it's a slow news day, but come on. Don't forget to tune in to World News Tonight, when Charlie Gibson assesses the possibility that a group of convicts being transported to a maximum security prison might actually take over the plane in which they're flying.