We would never deign to call an Olympic sport "easy." Eating muffins is easy. Sports at least require some motion. But if you, the average non-Olympic athlete, really needed to make the Olympic team in a pinch, you would clearly choose bobsled as your "sport."

On occasion, our dormant fitness column, "I of the Tiger," will return to address vital physical issues of importance.

This year, the Summer Olympics feature three dozen different sports. At least half of them are awful. Instead of hearing all the fans of minor sports complain when you banish them, why not simply fold them into other sports, creating a new, more entertaining sport?

The United States Olympic Committee officially unveiled its 530-athlete roster for the London this week. Wyoming, a mythical paradise where golden gods with rippling muscles run barefoot through grassy fields and gyms all day, is sending more athletes per capita to the Games than any other state, according to Time…

Here's a one-minute video that features a girl somehow stay standing while atop a moving balance board. Oh, also: she handles several basketballs—and in several different ways!—with complete ease while doing so. How very impressive! The video, inside.

Behold the Kings Firecrackers, a jump-roping squad of teen (and pre-teen) girls from Ohio—who may get a movie deal! Here, the girls perform an astonishing eight-minute routine during a halftime show at the US Naval Academy. Watch inside.

The newly-formed International Quidditch Association is hoping to turn the game memorialized in the Harry Potter books into an official NCAA sport. Sorry, but until you can fly and cast spells, you're just a bunch of dorks with broom wedgies.

Here was the Spanish Olympic basketball team, minding its own business by posing for a full-page newspaper ad in the "Slanty-eyed Chinaman" pose, which, as all Spanish basketball players know, is funny and endearing. Then the scurrilous English-speaking media goes and writes a news story about it, twisting it into…

The Olympics: nothing else is important! We expect the media to cover the games with the proper amount of cynical patriotic fervor, and we expect the populace to sit on their plush couches and absorb the proceedings like good-and occasionally xenophobic-citizens. But amidst all the beauty, brawn, and nakedness that…

Condom advertising is a fine art form. A prophylactic maker has to decide whether to go demure-letting the product sell itself-or think up some fancy gimmick to make people choose their rolled-up piece of plastic over other, incredibly similar, competitors. They're all gonna end up in the same place haha,…

You can't trust the Red Chinese for a single second. (Kidding! Trust them all you want). Nor can you trust multinational corporations! When they combine, they tend to be exceptionally devious. For example: Major companies are running ads featuring Chinese athletes having tender moments with their own parents, in…

With all the billions of dollars that pour into the Olympics, you'd think that the least the host committee could do would be to come up with a decent mascot. But no! In a classic case of overthinking something into oblivion, cities obsess over the stupid mascots for years, until they create some sort of awful…