The U.S. Marshals Service auctioned off 188 items seized from Madoff's many houses after he was arrested for duping his investors out of approximately $65 billion and perpetrating the largest financial fraud in U.S. history. Proceeds from the Madoff auction will benefit a fund for his victims.

Diane works for an organization of bankruptcy attorneys. She said "some of" the members of her group might be Madoff victims "but they would never tell me." Diane was surprised that the "vast majority of the stuff" at the auction "seemed drug dealer-ish." A nearby Marshall cracked: "that's because most of it is." Before and after Madoff's stuff went on sale, 409 items seized from other criminals were auctioned including several pieces of bling such as a necklace emblazoned with the Mercedes logo.

The auction was held in a second floor ballroom at the Sheraton Hotel and Towers in Midtown where buyers sat in a large room under a recessed crystal chandelier. Many of the bidders were jewelry dealers and other auction veterans. Outside the ballroom, I overheard them discussing the theory that the Madoff items would fetch a premium because of their association with the disgraced financier. In addition to these seasoned auction veterans, the Madoff sale attracted first-timers who wanted to witness history in the making.

On stage in the front of the room, a crew from Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers ran the show. Gaston & Sheehan is based in Pflugerville, Texas and their staffers lent an authentic Old South sheen to the proceedings. The emcee spoke in a rapid-fire auction patter and bid-spotters punctuated the air with shouts of "Yah!" when buyers placed new bids.

Deborah Pointer, the executive producer of Russell Simmon's "Def Poetry Jam" was there to purchase "some African masks" that belonged to the Madoffs for her collection. Mona Berkowitz attended the auction wearing a coat with a fur collar and a pearl necklace. She pointed out that many of the bidders who bought earlier items were "buying thinking it's Madoff and it's not, Madoff was Jewish I don't think he had crucifixes."

Mario Ramirez, who works for the New York Aquarium Service brought an envelope filled with $3,500 cash, intent on purchasing Bernie's personalized New York Mets jacket. Ramizrez said he wanted the jacket because "I'm sure it's going to be worth something in the future, it's the biggest Ponzi scheme in the world and I was there for it." Ramirez said he plans to sell the jacket on eBay after next "season is over 'cause I want to wear it at the stadium." Ramirez said he's not worried about facing backlash while wearing a jacket labeled "Madoff" at Citi Field because "I'm taking my co-workers and they're pretty big guys." Following a bidding war, the jacket eventually went to an online buyer for $14,500. Most of the items at the auction sold for prices well above their estimated value.

Don Kruzer came to the auction with three friends from Washington, D.C. hoping to purchase "stuff for my Lake George summer home" from Bernie Madoff's house in Montauk. Originally, Kruzer came to New York to see James Gandolfini in God of Carnage on Broadway, but he included the Madoff auction in his trip after reading about it in the newspaper.

Kruzer, who works in the healthcare industry, was especially interested in bidding on Madoff's golf clubs and the duck decoys that he used to decorate his house in Long Island. The duck decoys ended up being fiercely bid for at the auction, going for $3,250-$4,750.

Lester Miller ended up purchasing the first Madoff item on sale at the auction, a fourteen carat gold "ocean motif" bracelet adorned with charms depicting a whale lighthouse, anchor, boat, sailfish, and lobster. Miller, a 77 year-old executive who works with a company that makes batteries for cell phone towers was wearing snakeskin loafers with a gold clasp. Miller has seven grandchildren, "six girls and one boy," who he's taking on a cruise from Mexico to Los Angeles next week.

Miller wasn't sure how many items he purchased at the auction or how much he spent, but he says he plans on giving the jewelry he bought at the auction to his grandchildren. Miller says he's "going to tell them" the story of Bernie Madoff "so they can see what happened to him."

With reporting from Sam Petulla

[Photo via Sarah Wali]

LOT 276- JACKET: [1] Blue satin with orange trim jacket labeled and stitched with: NY Mets, 'MADF', '25' and 'Madoff'

LOT 278- SCREEN: [1] Chinese Chippendale Mahogany Two Panel Table Top Screen, English, 19th century, restorations, 44 x 19 inches (each panel) watercolor inserts

LOT 271- FUR: Ladys Bill Blass brown mink coat; no collar, hook front; 3/4 strait sleeves; 36" length x 48" sweep; strip sections; Bill Blass label.

LOT 293- DECOY: Wooden duck decoy w/ black body, natural wood head; green painted beak; black eyes (black w/brown pupil is a replacement); 21"L x 9 3/4" diameter. Note: yellow is coming through bill paint.

LOT 296- GOLF BAG: Belding Sports Golf Bagging Co. South Fork Country Club embroidered golf bag; fine black leather. GOLF CLUBS: Odyssey White Hot putter (Ruth Madoff South Fork CC shaft label). GOLF CLUBS: Three (3) Kasco Power Tornado FG drivers (Ruth Madoff South Fork CC shaft labels); 3, 5, 7. GOLF CLUBS: Great Big Bertha Hawkeye 11 degree titanium driver (Ruth Madoff South Fork CC shaft label). GOLF CLUB: Alien sand wedge. GOLF CLUBS: Diawa Hi-Trac TC5 iron set (Ruth Madoff South Fork CC shaft label); 4 to 11. MISC.: Three (3) leather golf gloves; Thirty (30) misc. used golf balls (incl Volvic Crystal). MISC.: Ruth Madoff South Fork Country Club member tag.

LOT 312- ART: Photograph print rendering of an Indian on bareback; copyright photographer E. Curtis, unsigned; Image: 27cm x 34cm; frame: 20 1/2 " x 23".

LOT 314- PURSE: Ladys Zagliani brand black crocodile leather hand bag; tan suede & silk lined interior; removable shoulder strap; zipper top; rect. shape, 8.5"T x 10"W x 2"D.

LOT 321- PURSE: Ladys Louis Vuitton brown monogram canvas logo hand bag; Trocadero; rect. shape, tan piping; LV logo side hand strap; zipper top; brown leather interior; 6"T x 9.55"W x 2.0"D., PURSE: Ladys Louis Vuitton brown monogram canvas hand bag; rect. shape, tan leather shoulder strap; zipper top; brown material interior; 5.5"T x 8.25"W x 1.5"D., PURSE: Ladys Louis Vuitton brown Monogram canvas travel bag; Neverfull MM; rect. shape, twin tan leather hand straps; open top; brown striped material interior; 11"T x 14"W x 6"D.

LOT 339- SHIRTS: [3] Polo Golf style shirts with 2 signal flags over 'BULL' on front upper left; 1 is L, 2 are XL

LOT 347- TOYS: Three (3) boogie boards; including one 1 pink/white, and 2 yellow; 40" long; "Madoff" written in black marker., FISHING: Tackle box and contents w/ "B.L. Madoff" plastic label on box outside; including 5 fly fishing lures, 1 Medalist Fishing reel, FLUGER Supreme #577 reel; Medalist Pfluger reel, 24 fly fishing lures; pliers & other misc. fishing accessories.

LOT 346- DECORATIVE: White water rescue ring bouy painted w/ "Bullship NY"; 18" diameter, black & gold hand-painted lettering; outer cable knit nylon cord; mfg Carlon Rubber Products, Inc., Derby CT, KOROSEAL PVC foam, model no. KS-18. E25-160.064/012/0.

LOT 350- UMBRELLA: Nylon golf umbrella; w/ MADF insignia & Bernard Madoff Investment Securities, New York and London; black & white color., DUFFLE BAGS: Three (3) monogrammed beige canvas duffle bags; w/ "Bernard L Madoff Investment Securities Montauk 1993" & sun emblem., MISC.: Six (6) vinyl letters in wood cigar box; black on yellow 3" initials B, L, & M (2 each); Macanudo cigar box w/ hinged lid.

The WSJ reports:

The evening's top price went to Alberto Giacometti's 1950 bronze of a toppling man, "L'Homme Qui Chavire," which an Eastern European collector bidding over the telephone got for $19.3 million, well over its $12 million high estimate.

Macroeconomic win! Bring back Gourmet!

CityFile reports that Newhouse paid $20 million for this fancy spindly-looking sculpture, "L'Homme Qui Chavire" by Alberto Giacometti, and now he's selling it at Sotheby's, where it's estimated to go for about half that. This, after he tried and failed to sell it at $20 million and $16 million.

Regular Americans know this move as "Desperately taking shit to the pawn shop, to pay the bills."

Conde Nast! Glamor!
[Cityfile]

This is the sixth painting idea suggested by you, the bored Gawker readership, that pancake painter-to-the-stars Dan Lacey has executed, for the benefit of mankind. Previous works: Rush the Hutt, The Crucifixion of Octomom, S&M Goat Wedding, Mickey Rourke Chihuahua Pee, and Hoda and Kathie Lee Flapjack Wrestling.

Don't miss your chance to purchase this one-of-a-kind work of Tinsley Mortimer art. Bid for it on Ebay now.

The Nation has come up with a fun way to make money when you're a cash-poor lefty mag, which is to just auction off any old crap they can get their hands on. Current auction items include a set of tires (value: $450) and a copy of Fighting Bob LaFollette: The Righteous Reformer (value: $23). Next week, the staff of The Nation will sell their own blood plasma.


Jack Shafer writes a true column about what inspires such epic coverage of Ivy League murders: Love of the Ivy League on one end of the media, and hate for the Ivy League on the other end. Jack, you left out "Genuine concern for the victim by the bloodsucking media bastards."


Apparently some citizens of America are urging Good Morning America to hire energetic money-chaser Suze Orman, as a face that they want to see on their television screens shortly after waking up? I will never understand Americans.


Politics are dividing American bloviation! National Joural asked its panel of "Congressional and Political Insiders" (whatever) to tell them which columnists are the most influential on their own thinking and Thomas fucking Friedman won, for fuck's sake. I assume these are the same "Americans" urging a major network to hire Suze Orman as morning news pep-squad leader? Anyhow the most divisive columnist was Charles Krauthammer, a psycho beloved by Republicans but not much at all by Democrats, who named Bob Guccione as their Most Admired Hero.

Auctioneers hoped these marble toilets would go for up to $5,000 apiece; they sold for $200. If you bought these, please use a lot of bleach before you install them.

Now this is the kind of "art" you'd expect to see in the Gooch's pad. The auction house's web site describes them as "molded plastic with high releif [sic] neoclassical female busts with sun ray crowns." Yes, those are a lot of female busts.

For more pictures of the gaudy things that Bob Guccione hosted orgies on and around, go here, here, here, here, here, and here.

The New York Times' James Barron reports today on the auction, which effectively turns the last page in the final chapter of what once was Manhattan's most infamous party house. After being essentially seized by creditors in 2006, the townhouse was purchased last year by billionaire hedge-fund guy Philip Falcone for $49-million. Since Falcone intended to gut the property completely, much of its contents were offered up to the Green Coalition, a group that supports programs for people recovering from bouts with addiction.

Politely described by David Carr in a 2002 Times piece as "effusively decorated," there has been much written about the mansion, and a couple of quick Google searches would have easily turned up a plethora of information about it and its former owner, not to mention the detailed information made available about the auction's items in advance by the auction house. So it's kind of hilarious to read some of the reaction quotes from aghast auction attendees interviewed by Barron:

"Kind of gaudy."

"I guess he lived a different lifestyle."

"Most of these pieces are unusual, to say the least."

"I never realized his interest was of this caliber."

Seriously?! Who are these people and where the hell did they come from? Attending an auction of Bob Guccione's belongings and expecting to find modest sophistication is like attending a NASCAR tailgate party hosted by Larry the Cable Guy and expecting to be served Pinot noir and Foie gras. Get the fuck out of here!

According to the Wall Street Journal, "auction houses have been struggling to secure enough top material to entice bidders, as the economic downturn forces them to rely heavily on individuals selling art for personal reasons."

Auction sales plummeted 66%, but there's good news: Despite crashing revenue, Sotheby's was able to squeeze more out of its commissions, and booked its first profit in four consecutive quarters. That probably has something to do with the pay cuts and layoffs the company implemented late last year to reduce expenses. Shares rose 5% in after-hours trading after the news of the meager profits—which beat analysts' expectations—were announced, but they dropped back down to earth this morning and are currently down 1%.

And he creepily told her to "hang this over your bed." We're sure he was kidding then, but now it seems unsettling, you know since he's been unmasked as a horrible money-eating monster who will spend the rest of his natural life slowly disappearing in a North Carolinian jail cell.

Artnet is handling the sale of the print, taken in the 1980s by renowned photographer Yousuf Karsh, for an estimated $3,000-5,000. The only kind of people we can imagine would be willing to spend that much money on this oddity are creepy collectors whose houses are already filled to the brim with real-life skulls and thick, ancient books. They'll hang Madoff's picture in a dark closet, so it will always be staring at you, yes, but from safely behind a door, safely hidden away in some black corner.

You can buy the cufflinks now for $100,000, but the bidding currently stands at $0. The seller is obviously a man of wealth and taste, and very possibly unemployed. Instead of reaping the windfall yourself, sir, consider donating them to be auctioned off at ASSME's upcoming Swag-A-Thon, a party of unemployed media types that will benefit even worse-off homeless AIDS patients.
Nobody wants those ugly cufflinks unless homeless AIDS patients will benefit. Seriously. [Ebay]The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Why did she bid on this blogger-tunity?

Ariana Huffington is my God (should that be Goddess?) and I bow down to her. Writing for free is not enough for me. I would like to pay her to allow me to write. But seriously, The Huffington Post is a good place to be seen and is a good place to start a writing career. And after all, charity is good! I don't know why you're so against it on your website. Perhaps you're forgetting the charity aspect.

What does she do, in the remainder of her time?

What do I do? Right now I'm taking a few classes. I also like to write. Right now I'm a correspondant for The Anti-Green Movement blog.

What is it she loves about Arianna so much?

The Huffington Post is just alright. I don't like it how famous people think they are a knowledgeable source of information when they are not qualified at all. (*Cough* Jim Carrey in his article for Jenny McCarthy *cough*) I do like charity.

So, may we ask how you make your money, given your generous charitable proclivities?

No, you can't ask.

Sadly Luisa has deleted her Twitter page now, but let's be clear: we fully support this outrageous value being attached to a worthless unpaid blog internship. If this thing succeeds there is no limit to the number of internships we personally expect to be auctioning off, on the side. This new revenue stream could save the once-new media. Luisa, we are with you.
[Previously. And it's not too late to bid!]

You can tell when the facade starts cracking. People are having bad days at work. Like the federal agents who stumbled on billionaire real estate tycoon Tamir Sapir's yacht in Florida and found that the whole thing was upholstered in the hides of rare endangered species, like so: "barstools upholstered with python and anaconda skins, seven carved elephant tusks, hides of jaguars, tigers and zebras, and a fully stuffed and mounted lion."

It's enough to shake your faith in mankind, I tell you. People are having bad days. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger. His state is billions of dollars in the hole. You know what he's saying? Here's what he's saying: Fuck everything, I am selling everything we own. Including San Quentin prison, the LA Coliseum, and the Orange County fairgrounds. You want to own some iconic property? Step right up, if you have the cash.

He's just had enough. It's frustrating. You can tell when people are having bad days. This story's first paragraph, for example, was written by a reporter having a very bad day:

After a long week of contemporary art auctions, the hearty trekked down to Phillips de Pury & Company in Chelsea - a renovated warehouse with concrete floors and sweeping vistas of a car wash, the Hudson River and the West Side Highway - where the struggling boutique firm held a disappointing sale of contemporary paintings, drawings and sculptures.

Do you get the vague sense that maybe the reporter is not so enthusiastic about this assignment? It's okay. It's a bad day. Everybody's broke.
[Pic: NYP]

Luisa Borges lives in Rio and has a Twitter account with the handle "luisacb." And "Luisacb" is currently the "lucky" high bidder on the Huffpo internship "opportunity."

And there's more evidence! Luisacb is also the current high bidder—$18,000—for another item from the very same charity auction: "You'll Be Saying "Ahhhhh" When You Vist the Set of House , Meet the Entire Cast and Take Home Hugh Laurie's Signed Iconic Cane."

Well we certainly would be saying 'Ahhhh' if we swallowed such an offer, eh? More evidence: Luisa Borges, on Twitter, loves House so much that she sends Tweets to the cast members! She's a superfan! Who else would pay $18K for Hugh Laurie's fucking cane? It all makes sense!

Except the HuffPo thing. That shit is just lunacy. Luisa, please email us and explain yourself at once.

The brilliant model of new journalism site The Evening Huffington Express-Telegraph is getting a shitload of content for free, because as we all know, nothing that can be accessed for free is worth paying for, which is why music is so great, these days.

They have stepped up their game, though! They are auctioning off an internship! For the charity, sure, but also because they can! The "internships" in New York media that can be yours as long as you're related to Jann Wenner or Graydon Carter (or, if you aim lower, as long as you can afford to work for free while getting your useless $150k degree) certainly worked out very well the magazine and publishing industries, right? So let's do that, on the internet, now, but even more extreme.

We are auctioning off our own job, here at Gawker, for $40,000. Just PayPal it to us. Then Jumpstart Your Career, as a Blogger!

Riverhead, which published the book last year, has been displaying three of the dioramas in their offices. But now they'd like to have that space back. "As you can see from the picture, I can't exactly house them in Riverhead's offices forever," she says. "I also can't fit more than two in my apartment. Nor, honestly, would I want to. It's creepy enough that I even have the crafts supplies to make dioramas in my house.

So, she's selling the one — "the most intricate," she promises — that goes with the essay "Sign Language for Infidels" in an auction to benefit Housing Works.

Crosley's description:

Diorama For Sale, Never Used*

*Okay, slightly used. This is one of three dioramas constructed to coincide with the publication of I Was Told There'd Be Cake. Each diorama was meant to represent one of the essays and here we have the butterfly-abusive ASPCA violation that is "Sign Language for Infidels." The diorama was created with neurotic love over a series of late nights in my apartment, the scent of bourbon and Aleene's Tacky Glue (is there any other kind?) in the air. It was then filmed during equally late intervals at Penguin's offices, where similar emotions and scents were present but mingled with salsa and chips.

The diorama itself, sketched out here, now looks a whole lot better. For one thing, it's three dimensional. For another, it's Plexiglas. For another, it has clothing hangers made of paperclips and, come to think of it, is the last time I used a paperclip. In EBay language, I would keep it myself, but my apartment only has so much room. Joseph Cornell it ain't, but it does come with a cotton ball and felt rendering of a homeless guy. Finally, the auctioning off of this diorama for Housingworks (http://www.housingworks.org/ ) is a fitting end for a story that started years ago, with me attempting to be charitable and volunteer and failing miserably….

You can also watch a video documenting its creation or take a Flickr tour.

You may buy this masterpiece for yourself, right there on the Ebay. Allegedly, Dan Lacey is going to paint the entire top ten list of your suggestions. A staggering thought. In the meantime here's a 'Where the Wild Obama Are':

Attendance is up nationwide at grocery auctions, where people bid on food and household items that were either overstocked or past their sell-by date and so no longer suitable for consumption by the employed.

Inside the auction hall in Dallas, a small town north of Wilkes-Barre, Pa., Williams uses a singsong, rapid-fire delivery to sell everything from frozen broccoli (six boxes for $2) to pork ribs ($20 for a 14-pound hunk) to candy bars (10 Baby Ruths for $2). Especially popular are the frozen foods - pies and chicken breasts.

For now, these auctioneers are accepting money from the winning bidders in exchange for expired cartons of ketchup packets and such. But it won't be long before they're only taking barter in the form of Mason jars full of gasoline, children, and death-matches.

[Via Best Recession Ever!]