3-Year-Old Girl Found Prowling Streets of Austria in Stocking Feet on Christmas Eve
Look no further: the best Christmas story of the year has been found.
Austria Says It Will Put Up Fence Along Border With Slovenia to Slow Migrants
On Wednesday, the Wall Street Journal reports, Austria said that it plans to build a fence along part of its border with Slovenia, in an attempt to slow the arrival of migrants and refugees.
Three Children Hospitalized After Austrian Police Stop Van Full of Refugees
Less than a day after a truck containing 71 decomposing bodies was found outside Vienna, police stopped a small van carrying 26 refugees in northern Austria, including three small children who were hospitalized with severe dehydration, the New York Times reports.
Truck Filled With Dozens of Dead Refugees Found Abandoned on Austrian Highway
A truck full of bodies presumed to be refugees was just found on the side of a highway in Austria, where politicians are gathering this week to brainstorm how to make it more difficult for migrant workers to escape their hellish existences.
Teen Going to Jail for ISIS After Downloading Bomb Plans to Playstation
Yet another teen has fallen for the siren call of ISIS: A 14-year-old Austrian boy pled guilty to terrorism charges today after he was accused of planning to bomb a Vienna train station. According to Reuters, the boy was encouraged by ISIS and downloaded bomb plans to his Playstation.
Tragically Wasted Soccer Mascot Falls, Can't Get Up
What is the saddest thing? Possibly: a heroic lion mascot in a cape who has become too drunk to stand and collapses on the soccer pitch, his giant fuzzy head lolling and falling off in his hands. Underneath, he is only human, like the rest of us. He is also drunk, like the rest of us.
An Austrian Baker Did 9/11 (as a Cake)
This 9/11 cake was created by Austrian baker Thomas Kienbauer as a metaphor for the current state of Vienna politics. In this metaphor, the Twin Towers of cake represent the ruling coalition Kienbaeur opposes, and the planes represent various fringe parties he apparently supports. (It is not a very good metaphor.)
Mexican Art Museum Cancels Exhibit, Concerned Works Will Disturb Patrons
Museo Jumex, an art museum that opened in Mexico City in 2013, is embroiled in its first controversy as an institution. Barely a week away from the opening of an exhibit featuring the works of Austrian artist Hermann Nitsch, Museo Jumex canceled it, claiming that the art would be too disturbing for citizens to look at.
Two U.S. Ski Team Hopefuls Killed in Austrian Avalanche
Two potential contenders for the U.S. ski team were killed in an avalanche in the Austrian alps on Monday. Ronnie Berlack, 20, and Bryce Astle, 19, reportedly died after skiing off course while training on a glacier.
Reports: Possibly Pregnant Teens Who Joined ISIS Killed in Syria
A pair of Austrian teenagers who apparently fled to Syria to support ISIS may be pregnant by a pair of Chechen fighters, according to a probably-fake report in the New York Post. Several more reputable news outlets, meanwhile, are reporting that either Samra Kesinovic, 16, or her friend Sabina Selimovic, 15, may have…
Hitler's Childhood Home to Be Turned Into Holocaust Museum
Hitler's childhood home in Braunau, Austria is slated to be turned into the House of Responsibility, a museum dedicated to survivors of the Holocaust.
Austrian Zoo Names One of Five New Adorable White Tiger Cubs "Obama"
Five new white tiger cubs born in an Austrian Zoo and thought to be the first litter of five white tiger cubs in all of Europe, have made their first public appearance today in the media. Their names? Lila, Lulu, Lela, Lali, and Obama. Interesting choice.
Drag queen Conchita Wurst, representing Austria, celebrates after the second semifinal of the Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen, Denmark, on Thursday. Image via Frank Augstein/AP.
[Mikaela Shiffrin, of the United States, competes on her way to set the fastest time during the first run of an alpine ski, women's World Cup slalom in Flachau, Austria, on Tuesday. Image via Marco Trovati/AP.]
Who Told All Those Europeans Ed Snowden Was On Evo Morales' Plane?
On Wednesday, Bolivian President Evo Morales was geopolitically stopped-and-frisked in Austria on his way home from Moscow, which Bolivia has claimed was because the U.S. believed Ed Snowden was aboard his plane. Conflicting information has since emerged, with some claiming it was a routine stop that got blown out of…
Museum Invites Visitors to Immerse Themselves in Nude Art Exhibit by Getting Naked Themselves (NSFW)
The controversial "Nude Men" (NSFW) exhibit at Vienna's Leopold Museum is making headlines once again.
Bank Robber Gets Back Money He Stole Because No One Else Wants It
Nearly twenty years after he robbed a Vienna-based branch of Erste Bank, Otto Neuman is getting a significant amount of the money he stole returned to him because no one else wants it.
Some Trick Left Her Old Bras in a Castle, Now Everything We Thought We Knew About Bras Is a Lie
The history of lingerie is being rewritten, all because a couple freak-nasty archaeologists were rooting around in some hang-loose Austrian gals' trash.
Cursed Austrian Village Looking To Reverse Misfortune With Name Change
The Upper Austrian village of Fucking is fucking sick and fucking tired of all the fucking jokes, so its 104 inhabitants (demonyn: Fuckingers) are getting together to mull a name change.
Brand-New 'International' Sex College Has Several Troubling Aspects
A Swedish artist and former erotic TV hostess named Ylva-Maria Thompson is opening the Austrian International School of Sex, where people can finally learn how to do it the right way. "Sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features- these are the AISOS disciplines," says the school's dysfunctional website…
