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Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
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NotReadyForPrimeTime
11/26/09

In reply to Werner Herzog: The Thinking Man's James Cameron
I would never question the judgment of a man who ate his own shoe just to prove a point.
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jackbarber
11/18/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
I'm not going to read all these comments but assume that some (at least ) are telling you, in hopefully strenuous fashion, that it's a stupid thing to [generously] say that only 5 of these movies are "not terrible."

You can't hate pop culture like you apparently do and write for this site. (Or any publication that people are going to actually want to read.)

To clarify, the following are not "terrible":

-- all LOTR (3 movies)

-- Pirates #1

-- Dark Night

[I haven't seen any Harry Potters but don't think they qualify as "terrible"]

-- Finding Nemo (definitely not "terrible") -- haven't seen Incredibles or other Pixar on list but also I'm sure not "terrible"

-- Hancock -- actually pretty damn good

-- Ratatouille (wtf are you thinking Ratatouille is GREAT)

-- Passion of the Christ -- made by a bad man but not a terrible movie (I'm just going down the list but this is getting stupid)

-- No Bond movie (2 on the list) is "terrible" / all are "watchable"

-- War of the Worlds -- actually quite good

-- I Am Legend -- totally watchable / I cried at the big parting scene

-- Iron Man -- I bet this is one you didn't think was "terrible" -- I probably liked it less than you, and thought except for RDJ that it kind of sucked -- but it wasn't "terrible"

-- Never saw Night at the Museum but I'm pretty sure OW and BS had some funny moments -- I'm going to say not "terrible"

-- King Kong -- a disappointment to be sure but not "terrible"

-- MI2 -- actually pretty fucking great -- Tom Cruise notwithstanding

-- Day After Tmw -- did not see -- bet I would enjoy -- i'm going to say not terrible

-- WALL-E -- not at all terrible wtf are you thinking

-- Meet the Fockers -- did not see but I bet it was actually terrible -- I'll give you this, Transformers franchise, Matrix 2 + 3, Pirates 2+3, Star wars 1-3 (truly "terrible").

Which makes by my count 20-25% (tops) of this list as "terrible."

Somewhere between 30-50% are "ok" to perfectly satisfying.

And a full 40% are pretty damn good (to great) Hollywood product.

What a stupid post. #boxoffice
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snugbug
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
There is exactly ONE stone-cold foxy classic on this list. Not part of a geeky franchise, not a cartoon, not a musical, not a rehash of a TV series or a remake of an older movie, not pegged on a comic book character. I love it and get sucked straight back into it every time they air it on cable teevee.

Place your bets. #boxoffice
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skippywasserman
11/17/09

@snugbug: I liked Night at the Museum as much as the next guy, but I don't think it would bear re-watching. #boxoffice
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YardanCabaret
11/17/09

@snugbug: Well of the two that fit that bill the Day After Tomorrow was shite so I'm guessing you've got a hard on for Night at the Museum. Course I didn't count the book series since the books used above are arguably geeky franchises(minus the passion but honestly that movie sucked, no one could think that was a good movie) so maybe it's actually one of those.
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snugbug
11/17/09

@skippywasserman: [Jeopardy "WRONG!" sound alert!] I was referring to Casino Royale. Obviously. #boxoffice
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snugbug
11/17/09

@YardanCabaret: What is the matter with you peepies? Could I have more obviously hinted at Casino Royale? #boxoffice
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skippywasserman
11/17/09

@snugbug: Uh, you do know that James Bond is a geeky franchise, too, right? I'm pretty sure there's been comics, cartoons, and musicals. I guess the 'place your bets' thing was meant to be a clue.

The book was still better. #boxoffice
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YardanCabaret
11/17/09

@snugbug: Um, Casino Royale is both a remake of an older movie and arguably part of a geeky franchise. You disqualified it with your quantifiers. Though I do love both versions of it.
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romulus
11/17/09

@snugbug: I haven't seen either the 1967 or the 2006 "Casino Royale," but I was under the impression that the new one is similar enough to qualify as a remake? They're both based on the novel of the same name. I do apologize if I'm getting that wrong. #boxoffice
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magstheaxe
11/17/09

@snugbug: Casino Royale is a remake of an older movie. :-) That's why we didn't consider it. #boxoffice
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snugbug
11/17/09

@YardanCabaret: Boo, boo, booo! The 1967 Woody Allen-starring Casino Royale is a parody of the Ian Fleming novel by the same title. Hence it does not qualify as a proper adaptation. Also, James Bond is not geeky! Lame, occasionally, during its decades-long history, but NEVER geeky! #boxoffice
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snugbug
11/17/09

@romulus: Naah, the recent Casino Royale is a sexy thriller-drama that could not be more different from the 1967 Casino Royale comedy. It's somber and sexy and thrilling and tense--in my opinion, the best James Bond entry in decades. #boxoffice
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atlasspanked
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
There are very simple reasons why most movies suck:
A) Directors
B) Screenwriters
C) Editors
D) Actors

In that order.

We film crew folks call these "entry level positions." #boxoffice
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snugbug
11/17/09

@atlasspanked: PRODUCERS. You forgot producers. Does anyone wield ampler decision-making powers in Big-Time Hollywood than producers? Studio heads, I s'pose, but that's about it. #boxoffice
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random_play
11/17/09

@atlasspanked: What about:

E) The audience, who keep paying the salaries of A-D, regardless of how much anyone thinks that movies suck. #boxoffice
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atlasspanked
11/17/09

@random_play: I hear y'all about producers and audiences, but producers typically just fund and approve the pics, they don't suckify them scene by scene. And audiences just determine whether said pic succeeds, not sucks.

(Full disclosure: I like action blockbusters. Weep for me.)

There are so many pics, even sequels, that could have been good but for some rote attempt at 'dramatic tension'.

Unless we're talking about "Marly and Me." In that specific case the viewing public -and book fans- really should be put to sleep. #boxoffice
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Perhaps Not
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
To be perfectly honest, I thought that most of these movies were not, in fact, terrible and flat-out love all three LOTR movies, Dark Knight, Nemo, Prisoner of Azkaban, Matrix Reloaded (I'll admit that this is probably just me), Incredibles, Ratatouille, War of the Worlds, Iron Man, King Kong, Monsters, Inc., and Wall-E.

Why the hate? Some movies are good AND popular. No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood may appeal to you and me but there's a reason they're not on this list and it's not that people are stupid.
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Edited by Perhaps Not at 11/17/09 11:46 AM Perhaps Not was starred Perhaps Not was unstarred

Poppymann
11/17/09

@Perhaps Not: "No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood may appeal to you and me but there's a reason they're not on this list and it's not that people are stupid"

and that reason is?..... #auteurs
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Perhaps Not
11/17/09

@Poppymann: Opinions vary but I'd say it's because they both present an extremely grim and oblique perspective on human nature that most people find too oppressive to subject themselves to for two hours. The filmgoing public seems to want to see good triumph over wickedness, or to see moral behavior rewarded when they go to the movies, probably because they see both so seldom in their individual lives. You and I would probably argue that movies doing those things don't offer as realistic a perspective on the universe (though I certainly do enjoy them sometimes), but not everyone is interested in understanding why the world is so evil through art. Some people have evil presented to them hourly and don't see the need to dwell on it further. #boxoffice
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ArleenCabango
11/18/09

@Perhaps Not: you bring up an interesting thought. not all movies need to be Oscar caliber. some could be just good escapist fun. and some could be in it only for the money. I think the key to defining something as 'good' would be to figure out which group a particular movie is trying to be and ask if it achieves its goal well. is a Transformers really that horrible if the money gives a studio the make a There Will Be Blood (which isn't going to make millions in the box office), is that such a terrible tradeoff #boxoffice
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Zira
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
A large part of the gross revenues from these movies come from international audiences who are obviously drawn to action movies and thrillers. I'd like to see a list of the highest grossing movies just here in the states. It might be more balanced. #auteurs
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Magister
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
Interesting list and maybe I'm being a stickler, but I'd say the folks at The Wrap might want to work on their language skills, a bit.

By definition, the first film in a franchise isn't a sequel. #auteurs
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DavidWatts
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
I CANNOT BELIEVE KUNG FU PANDA MADE THAT MUCH MONEY!! ARRRRGGGG! #auteurs
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Gregoire
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
Compare it to the top grossing films of the 1990s.

1) Titanic
2) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
3) Jurassic Park
4) Forrest Gump
5) The Lion King
6) Independence Day
7) The Sixth Sense
8) Home Alone
9) Men In Black
10) Twister
11) The Lost World: Jurassic Park
12) Mrs Doubtfire
13) Ghost
14) Aladdin
15) Saving Private Ryan #auteurs
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DahlELama
11/17/09

@Gregoire: I saw more movies on this list of 15 than I did on that list of 50. Sad. Or, happy for my childhood, I guess. #auteurs
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eatsshootsleaves
11/17/09

@Gregoire: Now THIS is a horrible list. And only two sequels in the bunch. #auteurs
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BookishLookish
11/17/09

In reply to Werner Herzog: The Thinking Man's James Cameron
I love him. Finis. #wernerherzog
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
No love for Lars Von Trier? C'mon America. He'll make you hate yourself on the inside! #auteurs
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PaisleyPajamas
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
The terrorists don't hate us for our freedom--they hate us for our crappy movies backed by blood-sucking marketing schematics. #auteurs
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yourfriendandneighbor
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
i've only seen six of these movies and only truly enjoyed one: Finding Nemo.

There's obviously a trend here. The gross majority of them are "family" or kid movies (because you're only a family if you have kids.) So, maybe they are high grossing from the pure fact that they are geared towards primary breadwinners taking their dependents to see them. It's an automatic extra ticket or two. #auteurs
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thisiswhatweknow
11/17/09

@yourfriendandneighbor: you should see Wall-E. #auteurs
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yourfriendandneighbor
11/17/09

@thisiswhatweknow: i tried, but got bored in the first ten minutes. #auteurs
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thisiswhatweknow
11/18/09

@yourfriendandneighbor: Moi Aussi, my boyfriend made me watch it, but trust, it becomes touching and hilarious.
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xoxoGossipGirl
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
There are actually 6 good ones. They all start with Harry Potter. #auteurs
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johnivdaly
11/17/09

In reply to Ever Wonder Why Most Movies Suck?
Anyone want to take a guess as to which 5 movies on this list Ravi generously estimates are "not terrible?"

Hint: not #50 #auteurs
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Thatcornellguy
11/17/09

@johnivdaly: I think anyone who hates "Finding Nemo" or classifies it as terrible has no soul. That is the most adorable movie of all time.

So other than Finding Nemo, the other four are probably The Return of the King, Pirates of the Carribean I, The Incredibles, and WALL-E. #auteurs
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TableNein
11/17/09

@johnivdaly: 1. Dark Knight. 2. Casino Royale. 3. Wall-E. 4-5. The first two LOTRs. #auteurs
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littleredcorvet
11/17/09

@johnivdaly: Passion of the Christ? #auteurs
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johnivdaly
11/17/09

@littleredcorvet: The box... says no. #auteurs
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Ravi Somaiya
11/17/09

@johnivdaly: In light of the fact that five is clearly a ridiculous number, I have revised it to 11. #auteurs
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johnivdaly
11/17/09

@Ravi Somaiya: In that case, I'm revising my guess to be: Shrek and Spiderman 2's and 3's, Hancock, and all 6 harry potters #auteurs
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Pierce Nichols
11/17/09

@Thatcornellguy: I associate Finding Nemo with an enjoyable but highly ill-advised one-night stand. It was playing in the background. #auteurs
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