Bucking the current media trend of "Everybody's broke," Vice is throwing a nice $250,000 Halloween party in Williamsburg to celebrate its 15th anniversary, complete with "two floors of chaotic nostalgia, scary punk bands, full-on rave DJs, a skate ramp, glow sticks, grunge, big pants, gangsta rap, marijuana-scented flannel, and serious slacker vibes." Our costume is "Terrified old Polish lady who wonders what the hell happened to her neighborhood."


This is a nice thing: The Columbia Journalism Review is giving fellowships to four laid-off journalists, "that will provide downsized professionals with a writing position as well as support to help them choose how best to use their experience in the years ahead." Hopefully a living wage is include? We support this! Why should the lucky employed people get all the cushy academic awards?


Since magazines started dying 438 years ago, people have been talking about developing a successful "Netflix for magazines" thing (we're not counting the unsuccessful attempt, already made). Hey, what does the founder of Netflix think?

When asked if magazines should try a model similar to his, Reed Hastings, the founder of Netflix, said, "It's certainly worth a shot."
But does Hastings subscribe to magazines? "No, I read them online," he said.

Magazines: fucked.


The Wall Street Journal has reportedly won the "coveted" Newspaper Circulation title, besting USA Today. Rupert Murdoch will celebrate by only staying at a Holiday Inns from now on, and never reading anything longer than 400 words ever again.

The NYT reports that ASME is "adding 12 new categories [to the Magazine Awards] covering online media." But! Rather than present these awards at the already-interminable fancy magazine awards ceremony in May, they "will be handed out at a lunch during a March online magazine conference." At lunch!

In fact, that real magazine awards used to be a modest affair like that, before they started taking that "The Oscars of the Magazine Industry" thing too seriously and inviting random wack people like Jimmy Fallon to present awards (suck it, Jimmy Fallon). Now, the Ellies get to siphon the nerdy, unglamorous online media reporters such as ourselves off into a preliminary affair, saving the real awards ceremony for the Beautiful People. It's genius, really. But what do these categories even mean?

"The Huffington Post, if it defines itself as a magazine, we would accept the entry. If it defines itself as a newspaper, then of course it should enter the Pulitzers," he said.

Haha! But what if it defines itself as the most specialest Magazinemediainternet Thingamajig in the whole wide world? Will there be a special category for that? And what are we supposed to enter? I assume there will be several categories dedicated to fameball coverage? And make sure there's something for Julia Allison!

We're not really winning any awards. But we are going and eating a free lunch, so SCORE. The internet continues to suck the magazine industry dry, one way or another.

To compile its first annual list the Temp Diaries asked visitors to the site to name the business' Most Liked and Least Liked executives. Visitors could nominate an unlimited number of executives. The final list is a tally of the most nominations in each category. With the relatively small sample size (it only took five nominations to make the top ten on either list) the voting was certainly open to Get Out the Vote campaigning. But gauging the enthusiasm levels, positive or negative, is part of the test of Most or Least Liked; seeing whom can mobilize a constituency passionate about a candidate's coolness or suckiness says a lot about whether this is just a passing distaste or a deep visceral contempt that will stand the test of time.

Anyhow, here are the results. Starting with the Top Ten Most Hated (full tallies available at the site):

First off, the huge news; a hearty congratulations is due to one Randall Emmett of Family Room Entertainment (pictured above.) Least Liked is the category in which the true giants of Hollywood compete — Geffen, Weinstein, Rudin, Berg, Emmanuel, Ovitz. To see the name of one of the pillars of the industry who has literally built an empire on abusive, infantile behavior atop a Least Liked List would almost be anticlimactic. For an unknown dark horse from a no-profile company to not just win, but win but such a resounding margin (23 votes between him and the #2 finisher) is an enormous accomplishment, worthy of a young David O. Selznick or Robert Evans.

We attempted to find out everything we could about this new giant on the scene of egomania. Here's what we've learned:

• Had he not qualified for the Worst list on the basis of his behavior, Emmett's producing credits alone might merit him a slot. His IMDB page is, in a word, stunning. That one man could have been involved in so many horrible films just takes your breath away. An Andrew Dice Clay film, A Love Song for Bobby Long, The Amityville Horror remake, The Wicker Man remake, 88 Minutes, Rambo. Learning that one mind was behind all these disasters suddenly makes one see the world as a very different sort of place, where bad things do not happen just by accident but by shadowy design.

• According to his website, Emmett was invited to be the commencement speaker at his old high school in Miami, Fla., in 2002. Video anyone?

• He is a distant cousin of Jerry Bruckheimer. And we're not at all surprised.

• He got started on the set watching Michael Bay at work on Bad Boys.

• His lifetime Rotten Tomatoes score is 12 percent.

•He is currently production partners with Rapper 50 Cent.

But all that doesn't begin to explain how he earned such a prestigious prize. If anyone has any knowledge about what makes Emmett so very least liked, we're all ears.

In a distant second to Emmett in the #2 spot is Jason Lust, VP of the Henson Company. One doesn't generally think of Muppet-land as a breeding ground for world class jerks, however history is rife with tales of children's authors who were monstrous or at least very strange in their personal lives, so Lust is following a great tradition.

Further down the least, the Lions of Jerkiness take their places on the list - Scott Rudin, Ari Emmanuel, Jeff Zucker, Harvey, Jeff Robinov. However, their relatively low rankings suggest that perhaps these once great windbags are losing their edge; that perhaps the torch is being passed to a new generation — with new energy and new technology to employ abusing their assistants and treating minions like dirt. For Emmett, and newly crowned Paramount President Adam Goodman (#6), a new day is at hand which may yet come to make a Weinstein tantrum look quaint and homey.

As for the Most Liked:

We have little to say here, other than to note that the Henson Company suspiciously occupies the second spot on this list as well, indicating some folks over there may be spending a little too much time on Hollywood Temp Diaries when they should be coming up with toilet bowl cleaner tie-ins for Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.

We know very little about James Waugh, The Most Popular Man in Hollywood. So we'll just say, congratulations for being so popular with a bunch of assistants, Guy Smiley. And we're sure this honor won't hurt you a bit when you run into the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh Least Liked tonight.

Allison Viva, president of "adult entertainment studio Pink Visual," woke up this morning thinking that the Gingrich PAC "American Solutions For Winning the Future" was rewarding her for her impressive business acumen and American can-do spirit. Then someone from the PAC called her up and told her that she would not actually get to enjoy a private dinner at the Capitol Club with the former majority leader himself. Sad!

According to the notice from ASWF, should Vivas attend a private dinner scheduled to occur Oct. 7 at the historic Capitol Hill Club, she will "dine privately with Newt," who will then take the occasion to present Vivas with her "well deserved award" and pose for a photo with her.

The notice from ASWF also informed Vivas that Gingrich is "looking forward to finally meeting [Vivas] face to face – and get[ting] your thoughts on Cap and Trade and Obama's Tax Policy."

Vivas expressed her intention to use the occasion as a chance to educate the former Speaker about issues pertinent to her industry.

Yes, right, that's what everyone said, and so on.

It happened because the Emmys aren't really about "rewarding excellence" or whatever. Well, they sort of are, but not really. The Emmy people are also concerned with ratings, like the NASA guys on the space episode of The Simpsons ("These machines just measure ratings.."). So they widened all the categories, bringing in shows and actors that regular potato chip-strewn boob tubing idiots like. People like Jim Parsons from some hunk of horror called The Big Bang Theory. Other people like the Mean Guy Who Woos Andy Sachs from The Mentalist. And shows like Family Guy.

The reasoning being, what, exactly? That teenage boys who are obsessed with crude, sloppy, shamelessly Simpsons-derivative non sequitur humor will stop masturbating for two hours on a Sunday night to watch the freaking Emmys? Actually, no. No they will not. Nor will the people who were actually stupid enough to think the awards still had some sliver of meaning (Hi! I'm an idiot), because now they're just a dumb joke. We're thrilled that people like Kristen Wiig, Tracy Morgan, Aaron Paul, and Drew Barrymore got recognized for their tremendously good work this year, but really it doesn't mean much of anything, does it?

Oh God, the 10-nominee Best Picture Oscar category is going to be a doozy isn't it?

Full nominations list.

The Emmy voters should watch this, also:

Here are the nominees, via Variety:

COMEDY SERIES

"Entourage"
"Family Guy
"Flight of the Conchords"
"How I Met Your Mother"
"The Office"
"30 Rock"
"Weeds"

DRAMA SERIES

"Big Love"
"Breaking Bad"
"Damages"
"Dexter"
"House"
"Lost"
"Mad Men"

MINISERIES

"Generation Kill" (HBO)
"Little Dorrit" (PBS)

ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Alec Baldwin - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Steve Carell - "The Office" (NBC)
Jemaine Clement - "Flight Of The Conchords" (HBO)
Jim Parsons - "The Big Bang Theory" (CBS)
Tony Shalhoub - "Monk" (USA)
Charlie Sheen - "Two And A Half Men" (CBS)

ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Simon Baker - "The Mentalist" (CBS)
Gabriel Byrne - "In Treatment" (HBO)
Bryan Cranston - "Breaking Bad" (AMC)
Michael C. Hall - "Dexter" (Showtime)
Jon Hamm - "Mad Men" (AMC)
Hugh Laurie - "House" (Fox)

ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Christina Applegate - "Samantha Who?" (ABC)
Toni Collette - "United States Of Tara" (Showtime)
Tina Fey - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - "The New Adventures Of Old Christine" (CBS)
Sarah Silverman - "The Sarah Silverman Program" (Comedy Central)
Mary-Louise Parker - "Weeds" (Showtime)

ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Glenn Close as Patty Hewes - "Damages" (FX Networks)
Sally Field - "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC)
Holly Hunter - "Saving Grace" (TNT)
Mariska Hargitay - "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (NBC)
Kyra Sedgwick - "The Closer" (TNT)
Elisabeth Moss - "Mad Men" (AMC)

MADE FOR TELEVISION MOVIE

"Coco Chanel" (Lifetime)
"Grey Gardens" (HBO)
"Into The Storm" (HBO)
"Prayers For Bobby" (Lifetime)
"Taking Chance" (HBO)

REALITY HOST

Tom Bergeron - "Dancing With The Stars" (ABC)
Phil Keoghan - "The Amazing Race" (CBS)
Heidi Klum - "Project Runway" (Bravo)
Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio - "Top Chef" (Bravo)
Jeff Probst - "Survivor" (CBS)
Ryan Seacrest - "American Idol" (Fox)

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Kevin Klien - "Cyrano de Bergerac" ("Great Performances") (PBS)
Brendan Gleeson - "Into The Storm"(HBO)
Sir Ian McKellen - "King Lear" ("Great Performances") (PBS)
Kevin Bacon - "Taking Chance" (HBO)
Kiefer Sutherland - "24: Redemption" (Fox)
Kenneth Branagh - "Wallander: One Step Behind" (PBS

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Drew Barrymore - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Jessica Lange - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Shirley MacLaine - "Coco Chanel" (Lifetime)
Sigourney Weaver - "Prayers For Bobby" (Lifetime)
Chandra Wilson - "Accidental Friendship" (Hallmark Channel)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Jon Cryer - "Two And A Half Men" (CBS)
Kevin Dillon - "Entourage" (HBO)
Neil Patrick Harris - "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS)
Jack McBrayer - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Tracy Morgan - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Rainn Wilson - "The Office" (NBC)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Christian Clemenson - "Boston Legal" (ABC)
Michael Emerson - "Lost" (ABC)
William Hurt - "Damages" (FX Networks)
Aaron Paul - "Breaking Bad" (AMC)
William Shatner - "Boston Legal" (ABC)
John Slattery - "Mad Men" (AMC)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Len Cariou - "Into The Storm" (HBO)
Tom Courtenay - "Little Dorrit" (PBS)
Ken Howard - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Bob Newhart - "The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice" (TNT)
Andy Serkis - "Little Dorrit" (PBS)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Kristin Chenoweth - "Pushing Daisies" (ABC)
Jane Krakowski - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Elizabeth Perkins - "Weeds" (Showtime)
Amy Poehler - "Saturday Night Live" (NBC)
Kristen Wiig - "Saturday Night Live" (NBC)
Vanessa Williams - "Ugly Betty" (ABC)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Rose Byrne - "Damages" (FX Networks)
Hope Davis - "In Treatment" (HBO)
Cherry Jones - "24" (Fox)
Sandra Oh - "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
Chandra Wilson - "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Shohreh Aghdashloo - "House Of Saddam" (HBO)
Marcia Gay Harden - "The Courageous Heart Of Irena Sendler" (Hallmark

Hall Of Fame Presentation) (CBS)
Janet McTeer - "Into The Storm" (HBO)
Jeanne Tripplehorn - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Cicely Tyson - "Relative Stranger" (Hallmark Channel)

This is almost without question a staged "controversy," what with Eminem screaming "get this motherfucker off of me" after the cameras had already focused in on him in the audience while Cohen was still in the air, but it's funny as hell nonetheless. We had tears in our eyes. Enjoy.

Corporate awards might seem silly, but for some entrepreneurs, they are among the few forms of recognition still within reach. And the Insider's Silicon Alley Awards, intended to "celebrate the resilience of New York's digital industry in the face of the global economic collapse," has its share of obsessives. One even wonders if the selection process has been tilted in favor of nominees with financial ties to the Insider.

Henry Blodget's publication yesterday released its final list of nominees. The nominees were selected by the Insider with input from an online poll.

As our tipster notes, the 25 finalists include Gilt Groupe, co-founded by the same team that started Silicon Alley Insider; Huffington Post, co-founded by Insider investor Ken Lerer; and Thrillist, started by Ken's son Ben Lerer.

It's hard to argue with, say, HuffPo's impact over the past year; it pioneered a particularly effective form of citizen journalism and grew both its traffic and profile by leaps and bounds. But, as with the other two nominees, its links to the Insider were not disclosed; maybe they should have been, as our tipster argues, if only to keep the awards above reproach.

Blodget, who says he "understand[s] the concern about disclosures," he since added a note to his nomination post outlining "every possible conflict I could think of." And while he conceded "there was definitely some subjectivity in the selection of the final nominees," he defended his process:

We explained up front that, while we would take the nominations and votes into account when picking the final 5 nominees, the votes would not determine our selections.

The reason we don't use straight votes in these things, by the way, is that we have learned from experience that they are too easy to game...

For what it's worth, we won't be involved in picking the winners [see explanation at bottom of this post].

For those still dissatisfied with the process, just remember: It's only an arbitrary prize. They're a dime a dozen. If you don't win SAI's, why not go for a Webby? They hand those out to practically anyone!

Among the inside crowd, the Webby Awards were always a joke, a masquerade where Internet fanboys and fangirls played dress-up and feigned the red-carpet rituals of Hollywood's real ceremonies. But somewhere along the way, the organizers figured out that this goofy charade could be milked for profit. And now that mainstream entertainers like Jimmy Fallon and Seth McFarlane are sweeping this year's awards, the parodic circle is complete.

The Webbys' survival was the product of one woman's relentless, no-talent ambition. Long before Julia Allison, Tiffany Shlain was using the Internet to make herself famous. After the magazine which had hired Shlain to produce the first awards folded, she kept the show going. The dotcom bomb almost did the Webbys in. After staging a ridiculous post-bubble extravaganza for more than 3,000 in 2001, the organizers cancelled the 2003 ceremonies, blaming SARS (rather than the reality of the group's strapped finances). (The retrospective clip jauntily skips from 2001 to 2005, when Al Gore accepted an award.)

Since then, Shlain has wandered off into an iffy film career, where she's unlikely to see the kind of red carpet she rolled out at the Webbys. And her heirs have converted the show into a purely capitalist endeavor. Andy Baio notes how the number of categories of awards has exploded since the Webbys' near-death experience. By charging as much as $275 per entry across 129 categories, the Webbys can milk the Internet's lust for self-promotion.

And what's obvious from the winners is that the people who are still hungry for the ever-meaningless recognition of a Webby award are the big-media players with marketing budgets to spend, and restless corporate overlords demanding some concrete proof that the websites they've funded are any good. Far easier to show off an award than to hit one's quarterly numbers. The Webbys seem to have no problem making theirs.

(Chart by Andy Baio)

Tim Russert took Syracuse University's Fred Dressler award last year. This year, the prize, awarded by the university's Newhouse communications school, will go to Arianna Huffington, who hated Russert and his wife Maureen Orth and reportedly hired a private investigator to tail them as part of a 15-year feud.

We're guessing NBC won't be buying a table again this year.

(The announcement of Huffington's prize is expected later today; the school circulated early word of the award to a prize-related email list.)

Also awkward: The finalists include, in one category, David Barstow's Pulitzer-winning exposé on shill generals in the New York Times — and in another category a takedown of that very exposé as "selective" and "misleading," by Rachel Sklar, then of the Huffington Post.

Sklar, meanwhile, left Arianna Huffington's website after having some of her coverage spiked for violating "HuffPost's editorial position" on political matters and after reportedly being pulled back from TV appearances. So presumably she's not sitting at Arianna's table.

The mingling should be interesting. If you're going, bring a flask.

MAN I WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY. THIS IS A REAL HONOR! THIS WHOLE YEAR HAS BEEN SO OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVE.... FROM THE YEEZY'S TO THE LOUIE VUITTONS.... FROM HEARTLESS BEING THE NUMBER ONE SONG ON RADIO FOR THE FIRST QUATER OF THIS YEAR TO AMAZING BEING THE THEME SONG FOR THE NBA PLAYOFFS. IT MEANS A LOT TO BE ABLE TO GET RESPECT FROM MY CORE AND PEERS EVEN THOUGH EVERYBODY KNOWS I GET A LITTLE CRAZY WITH THE CLOTHES SOMETIMES. I'M ON VACAY RT NOW WITH A WHITE T ON.

IT'S NICE TO READ SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR A CHANGE! PHARRELL PIONEERED WHAT I DO NOW. HE WAS THE ORIGINAL TO BREAK DOWN DOORS BETWEEN "REAL FASHION" AND HIP HOP WORLDS, DOING BEATS FOR NOREAGA AND RUNNING AROUND WITH THE MODEL CHICKS. ROSS GET'S REAL FRESH. TI HAS A GREAT EFFORTLESS SINCE OF STYLE. JAY HAS SET MAD TRENDS AND IS THE SINATRA OF OUR ERA. NOBODY IS AS FRESH AS RALPH LUAREN HIMSELF, ONLY ANDRE 3000 AND BENTLEY GET CLOSE BUT THERE'S STILL WORK TO DO.

I THINK OLD MEN DRESS THE FRESHEST, NOT TRENDY AT ALL BUT SOMETIMES STILL COLORFUL AND INTERESTING. THEY'VE FIGURED OUT WHAT LOOKS GOOD ON THEM AND THEY STICK IT. THE UP HILL BATTLE WE HAVE AS HIP HOP ARTIST IS HIP HOP IS ROOTED IN TRENDS. TRUE STYLE AND TRENDS VERY SELDOMELY MEET. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE A TENDENCY TO WEAR STUFF THAT'S LAUGHABLE 2 YEARS LATER. WHEN I CAN SEE CRAZY STUFF I'VE WORN AND PEOPLE LAUGH AT ME, ALL I CAN DO IS LAUGH WITH YOU AND THINK, I HAD FUN THOUGH. THANKS AGAIN, MR. WEST

Remember now, Kanye: you're supposed to be less of a HUGE DOUCHE these days.
[Kanye's Blog; Pic via. Paragraph breaks inserted for sake of eye health.]

Sure, it's a bit hokey, but it's also an honor. So, I along with Ryan, Hamilton, Richard, Alex, Owen and new kid on the block John thank everyone who voted. To quote Sean Penn's perfect acceptance line: "Thank you, you commie homo-loving sons of guns!"

National Book Critics Circle Awards attendees congregate at the crossroads of two dying industries (books, news, what have you) on Thursday night at the New School. Friendly yet unsolicited advice to NBCC: the ceremony should have been about 15 minutes shorter. Unexpected development: Ron Charles, the nerdy senior editor at the Washington Post's Book World is actually the funniest bastard in the whole world. Charles took home an award for criticism and encouraged his fellow scribes to think and write in reader-friendly modes rather than acting like jerks.


Ariel Sabar, left, took home the prize for best autobiography. His book, My Father's Paradise: A Son's Search for His Jewish Past in Kurdish Iraq, is about a son's search for his Jewish past in Iraq, and also contains some nice recipes. To his right is Helene Cooper, who covers the White House for the Times. Her book, The House at Sugar Beach: In Search of a Lost African Childhood, was nominated in the autobiography category, which is cool, but, she lost. (Shortly after this photo was taken she shanked Ariel.) Asked if she had any juicy dirt on Obama, she replied, "Yes, but not for Gawker." Tease!


New York Times man-in-the-trenches Dexter Filkins (second from right) took home the prize for general nonfiction for The Forever War, which I happened to have read. This was a fine book and is suitable for those interested in Iraq, the war on terror, Afghanistan, Calvinism, the marine corps, journalism, astrojunk, and current affairs. Shortly after this photo was taken the blonde woman on the left, a book publicist, lapsed into a fugue state and then vanished into thin air.


Dexter responded to several questions submitted via electronic mail. Please feel free to read them, or just fax them to your friends and move on to other activities.

Q: You wrote that it's actually challenging just talking to people who have not been to Iraq. Is that still true?

A: War is so intense and so strange that it is difficult to talk with anyone who hasn't gone through one. The war in Iraq, in particular, was heartbreaking, and so, at least in my case, I found myself resenting the 99 percent of humanity that had not been through it. I'm coming around, though. It's nice on the outside.

Q: Have the film rights to your book been purchased?

No, they have not. I tried to write a visual book—it's a series of vignettes. The book doesn't have a plot, and it doesn't make an argument, so I think it would be tricky to screen the thing in its entirety. But I think many of the vignettes would move pretty easily to the screen.

Q: Do you buy CDs or download music? What are some songs/bands you've purchased lately?

A large part of me died in Iraq, I think, or at least went into hibernation. I used to listen to music all the time, classical mostly, and in Iraq I stopped. I stopped paying attention to anything that wasn't the war. Nothing else resonated. It's coming back now, I'm happy to say. I'm listening to the soundtrack from Lust, Caution.

Meet Robert Stepanek, a well-dressed man and the creator of a rap opera. Robert related a jarring incident from his past involving Jeff Dowd, the inspiration for Jeff Bridges' character in The Big Lebowski. Seems the Dude, upon hearing a Stepanek pitch, off-loaded him to an underling, who in turn spurned him. Shortly after this picture was taken, Robert protested: "I look kind of bald in that photo." I was like, "Dude, you are in fact bald yet ravishing in your own way, so relax." Behind Robert is Ashley Roberts from Seven Stories Press.


Monica Ferrell is the author of The Answer Is Always Yes, and reported dutifully to Cafe Loup in the Village for post-reception eating and drinking. Seeking to minimize any fall-out from drunkenly informing her that she is an attractive novelist, I advised her in advance that I tend to do that after I've had 14 or 15 drinks. Unfortunately, advising her of this in advance induced the vaguely awkward effect it was meant to avert. An FSG man loiters scarf-tastically in the background.

You can find more of Stephen's work here.

Critics in England and parts of the U.S. Los Angeles were none too kind to O'Neill's 2008 novel Netherland. The work was shut out of the National Book Awards and National Book Critics Circle awards.

But the New Yorker loved the novel, about a family's downtown life in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attack, and now O'Neill gets the $15,000 PEN prize. A movie deal and national cricket surge can't be far behind; buy your sets now, hipsters.

Departures eluded most Oscar pools. Awards-obsessed street urchin Tom O'Neil, the Los Angeles Times Oscar expert, managed the correct final answer after a tipster told him that The Class wasn't even one of the original nominees—and that Bashir might not have been, either. So how did they make it through?

Outrage over a snub of Romania's 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days prompted the creation of an oversight committee made up of 20 Academy members last year, with the ability to ram three of their own nominees in, regardless of what all the general votes have indicated. The committee's unpopular picks, as O'Neil divined, were automatically disadvantaged, which helps explain why the idea hasn't seemed to work. So forget the committee approach! There are three bigger problems that need to be addressed—and cleverer solutions to them:

1. The voters: Despite the creation of a blue-ribbon panel to override bad nominations (an idea the Emmys adopted recently, then did away with), the Foreign Language Film category is still set up in a way that encourages bad picks. In order to vote, members must have seen all five films, and they need to have gone to special Academy screenings to have done so. While that seems like a fair rule, it's one that isn't applied to, say, the acting categories (when people can and do vote for performances they haven't seen). Thus the pool of Foreign Language Film voters tends to shrink to elderly, conservative voters with enough time to attend all five theatrical screenings. The Academy provides DVDs for members who miss the Best Song screenings—why not do the same here?

2. The eligibility: Each country can submit only one film, which means that some countries will sacrifice their strongest work for a more conventional choice, as Spain did in 2002 when it notoriously snubbed Pedro Almodóvar's Talk To Her. It's time to reward countries with flourishing film industries by allowing them to submit more films.

3. The new international film climate: Movies nowadays draw their financing from a full range of sources—but if those deep pockets come from different countries, none can have enough say to submit the result as their own. The Motorcycle Diaries was one of 2004's most acclaimed foreign films, but due to its eclectic, globe-spanning financiers, the rules disqualified it for a Foreign Language Film Oscar.

It doesn't matter how many oversight committees are put in place—until the whole voting system receives a radical overhaul, too many worthy films will never get a chance at nabbing the award given to such notable luminaries as Roberto Benigni, Renee Zellweger, and Crash. This injustice cannot stand!

Silver rose to prominence by forecasting the results of the last election year with eerie accuracy (he even had the amount of angry Bill Clinton finger wags down to the decimal point during the primaries!), yet his foray into Oscar prognosticating was torpedoed with the very first award given out, Best Supporting Actress. Not only did his misguided pick, Taraji P. Henson, lose to Cruz, but he also blew the Best Actor category, choosing Mickey Rourke over eventual winner Sean Penn.

How did Silver take the news? With liveblogged profanities ("7:47 PM. Penelope Cruz? F*ck. I demand a recount") and a painful Ram Jam onto an already defeated Rourke ("Perhaps we [should have] had some way to quantify someone's jackassedness: Days spent at the Betty Ford Center?"). Then, saddest of all, Silver disowned his model for predictions today in a regretful Oscar postmortem which reads like Mom (numbers-based prognosticating) and Dad (Silver) have decided to see other people. Nate Silver will soon be moving into a pre-furnished apartment by himself, and it is all the fault of a Latina spitfire we have taught to speak English. For shame, Hollywood.

• Some Post-Oscar Thoughts on Forecasting [FiveThirtyEight]

· 30-second ad spots on the final episode of ER — featuring George Clooney, Noah Wyle and Anthony Edwards — are going for the low, low price of $425,000. We'll take two.
· The existential crises of Garfield Without Garfield have felt uniquely harrowing this week. At least add Odie back in or something.
· Flaxen-haired Jared Leto is out and about at this weekend's Oscar festivities. Consider yourself warned.
· ZOMG Google Earth found Atlantis! Maybe? Never mind.

Granted, this is just one expert's results. Others have preceded, and others are sure to follow. But if there's anything we trust around here, it's science:



· Actor in a leading role: Mickey Rourke
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Actor in a supporting role: Heath Ledger
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Actress in a leading role: Kate Winslet
FINDINGS: Inconclusive, but shows high concentrations of the carbon compound HW, thus suggesting a strong likelihood of accuracy.

· Actress in a supporting role: Amy Adams
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. DNA breakdown shows overwhelming evidence of Penelope Cruz, with traces of Viola Davis.

· Animated Feature Film: Wall-E
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Art Direction: The Dark Knight
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Costume Design: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. Rare genetic mutation known as NOM-13 makes Button allergic to Oscar. The Duchess shows most compatible awards traits in this category.

· Directing: Slumdog Millionaire
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Documentary feature: Man on Wire
FINDINGS: Inconclusive. A well-known Bavarian doctor is nearing a vaccine for this; it may be ready by Sunday. Active ingredient: Sympathy.

· Documentary short: The Conscience of Nhem En
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. Cleft-palate recovery is going swiftly and well for the disfigured Indian child in Smile Pinki; her discharge is expected this weekend.

· Film editing: Milk
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. A potent strain of Slumdog Millionaire has overtaken the calcium in original subject.

· Foreign language film: Departures
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. Waltz With Bashir tests positive for the Jews.

· Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
FINDINGS: Accurate. (NOTE: High dosages of latex repel NOM-13 gene mentioned above.)

· Music (Score): Defiance
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. The Dark Knight has a formidable squad overseeing its unparalleled purity in this category.

· Music (Song): "Down to Earth" (Wall-E)
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Short film (animated): Presto
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Short film (live action): Auf Der Strecke (On The Line)
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. Toyland's Holocaust cell-count has jumped robustly in recent weeks.

· Sound editing: Wall-E
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Sound mixing: The Dark Knight
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Visual effects: Iron Man
FINDINGS: Accurate.

· Writing (Adapted screenplay): The Reader
FINDINGS: Inconclusive. Slumdog bites are failing to heal, may be infected on Reader scribe David Hare's otherwise strong legs.

· Writing (Original screenplay): In Bruges
FINDINGS: Inaccurate. Intravenous Milk feed has built category's resistance to Irish germs.

• Oscar Winners Leaked? [Cinematical]

• Leaked Oscar-Winner List Is a "Complete Fraud" [AP]

From a CNN interview:

CNN: How daring is it going to be? Will there be YouTube moments where people will be talking about the Oscars this year after it happens?

Jackman: One of my favorite moments at the Oscars was when the streaker came across David Niven. And we're upping it a level and we're just going to do most of the show naked. Um, well, there hopefully will be YouTube moments.

CNN: "The sexiest man alive" [is] going to be up there nude?

Jackman: Drunk and nude, yes. So that's our new fresh approach. It's the Australian way.

Another secret: The typical bathroom-break category Best Animated Short will be the breathtaking showstopper of the evening, when Jackman introduces each nominee employing his hidden skills as a masterly puppeteer of the penis. And yes, it will be projected on a giant LCD screen.

• Hugh Jackman ready to be 'drunk and nude' at the Oscars [CNN]