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New York, 4:47 AM
Fri Dec 11
59 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    12/08/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    I saw this the other night, and called my husband into the room to watch it, because I couldn't figure out if it was for real or comedy.
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of CrossWord CrossWord
    12/08/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    Every kiss begins with Kay...Y jelly smeared on an ice cold speculuuuum.

    It's hard to sustain the note that long, but I think it is still a very convincing jingle.
     Reply
    CrossWord was starred CrossWord was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    There's a clinic down the street from my place that serves the ultra-low-income, and each Fall they offer "Papapalooza" which I imagine features an uplifting Sarah McLachlan soundtrack and lesbians with hemp brownie stands.
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of Aatom Aatom
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    Is it just me, or is the Jewish guy a little too Harvey Fierstein to be taken seriously for this?
     Reply
    Aatom was starred Aatom was unstarred
    Image of kappakappaspankme kappakappaspankme
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    Christmas? And for years I have been spending Valentine's Day with the robotic duck-billed bird-monster.

    Phuck.
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme was starred kappakappaspankme was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    Btw: I've now heard about two chiropractors that have been busted for giving pelvic exams and pap smears. Ladies, gird your loins!

    And since I'm a misogynist bastard who is trying to turn himself around, a note for the fellows too: If you're getting a prostate exam and you feel the doctors hands on your shoulders, something is wrong!
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Penscribe Penscribe
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    Health Benefits are hard to come by these days. Groupon offered an 80% off deal on a biannual dental cleaning that I'm upset I missed out on. I was totally going to give that to someone as a gift. If I can give the gift of a pap smear for $50, I totally would.

    Times are hard.
     Reply
    Edited by Penscribe at 12/07/09 2:37 AM Penscribe was starred Penscribe was unstarred
    Image of Poop Cooper Poop Cooper
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    "Oh, thank god. I thought this gift certificate I got you for that free circumcision was gonna make Christmas all weird."
     Reply
    Poop Cooper was starred Poop Cooper was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    If you REALLY love your woman, you'll throw your manly knees up past your shoulders and encourage a quasi-trained professional to insert ice-cold steel into your nether cavities (flip a coin?) then manfully yell, "Dilate the motherf*cker. DILATE the motherf*cker!"
    All captured on DVD video, to share with that special someone on Christmas Eve.
    That is how a man should show solidarity with his beloved. None of this, Let's have you undergo the tender caress of cold steel on your nether regions; I'm so sensitive I got you a redeemable coupon stuff.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
     
     Reply
    fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of Jamie Peck Jamie Peck
    12/07/09

    @fatmonalisa: I can't wait until the bagel place opens in 4 hrs. What were we talking about again?
     Reply
    Jamie Peck was starred Jamie Peck was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    12/07/09

    @Jamie Peck: We were talking about bagel holes definitely. I should go make my doorman get me one just for the hell of it.
     Reply
    fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of Jamie Peck Jamie Peck
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    "Just a schmear" makes me think of cream cheese and lox, two things I'd rather not associate with the ol' giner. Then again, he seems like he could be into some fucked up shit (I mean, look at his living room) so maybe that's just how he meant it.

    This is also a very effective abstinence commercial in disguise. DNW bagel-y vagina.
     Reply
    Jamie Peck was starred Jamie Peck was unstarred
    Image of TroisFilles TroisFilles
    12/07/09

    @Jamie Peck: K-Oy! Jelly?
     Reply
    Jamie Peck promoted this comment TroisFilles was starred TroisFilles was unstarred
    Image of DeadliestSin DeadliestSin
    12/07/09

    In reply to When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
    My vajayjay shrivels at the sight of that wretched thing. Glad to be a Canadian, where we don't have to pay doctors to torture us.
     Reply
    DeadliestSin was starred DeadliestSin was unstarred
    Image of burbere002 burbere002
    12/07/09

    @DeadliestSin: Would it help if it were colorfully painted? Perhaps with some kind of cartoon animal theme and attached to a sock puppet.
     Reply
    DeadliestSin promoted this comment burbere002 was starred burbere002 was unstarred
    Image of Xylo Xylo
    12/07/09

    @DeadliestSin: And where our doctors apparently warm up the instruments first; I have never had a cold speculum. Of course, my doc is female, that may make a difference.
     Reply
    Edited by Xylo at 12/07/09 8:03 AM Xylo was starred Xylo was unstarred
    Image of DeadliestSin DeadliestSin
    12/07/09

    @Xylo: Agreed, Mine has never been warm, but it also isn't cold either.
     Reply
    DeadliestSin was starred DeadliestSin was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    11/18/09

    In reply to How Not to Advertise an Alcoholic Beverage
    That dragon is peeing on her. And Paris sort of likes it, before the disfiguring car crash.
     Reply
    Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of pmarble pmarble
    11/18/09

    In reply to How Not to Advertise an Alcoholic Beverage
    She's got a dragon in her pocket and baby he's ready to roar? Wait. No.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle promoted this comment pmarble was starred pmarble was unstarred
    Image of shostakobitch shostakobitch
    11/18/09

    In reply to How Not to Advertise an Alcoholic Beverage
    Forget it Hamilton, it's Chinatown.
     Reply
    shostakobitch was starred shostakobitch was unstarred
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