Our depleted, dried-up culture craves teen juice for nourishment. We’ve assumed that because we are tired and aching, we can absorb teenage youth-spirit through social media osmosis, a hot stem cell injection for our whole existence. But what if teens suck just as much as we do?
Like every other instance of vaguely subversive youth culture, text slang and internet jokes are now the property of people who want to sell you breakfast cereal and pasta sauce. One sub-Reddit called /r/FellowKids is dedicated to tracking all of these nauseating attempts at internet youthfulness.
Congressman Michael Grimm is perhaps best known for threatening to throw a NY1 reporter off a balcony. He is also the bae at Staten Island sweet sixteen parties, according to teen girls' tweets, which don't lie.
