Jackass alum Bam Margera claims he was rudely awakened last night by a butt-naked girl who broke into his West Chester, Pennsylvania house, and climbed into his bed.

Professional life-risker Bam Margera recently found himself undergoing emergency hernia surgery after a 100-foot kayak dive off Oregon's Metlako Falls.

Paula Abdul's personal mantra is also her staff's. Adam Sandler is accused of dining and dashing. The cast of The Help likes to skinny dip. Angelina Jolie is "as kinky and insatiable as ever." TGIFriday gossip is titillating.

Tom Felton has a record deal and a song about Hawaii. Jessica Simpson makes out with a purse. Mila Kunis compares sex to communism. The Black Eyed Peas take an "indefinite break." Tuesday gossip starts from scratch.

You are a terrible person for reading this nasty story about America's sweetheart. Ashlee Simpson has a new boyfriend. Ryan Dunn drank picklebacks before he died. Steve-O recalls doing blow with LiLo while she was in rehab. Wednesday gossip is a big mistake. Big. Huge.

Following Bam Margera's outrage over a Roger Ebert tweet about Jackass star Ryan Dunn's death ("friends don't let jackasses drink and drive") Ebert has taken to his blog.

So Roger Ebert went and posted that stupid tweet this morning about Ryan Dunn's death, "Friends don't let jackasses drink and drive," which he is still standing behind, but really, just shut up Roger Ebert? Nothing was conclusive at the time of the tweet, friends and fans were still in mortal shock over the awful…

Asked about his history of violence, Chris Brown flies into a violent rage. Rob Pattinson calls Justin Bieber a liar. Bam Margera calls a girl a whale and gets punched in the face. Tuesday gossip lacks impulse control.

Perez finally crossed the line into child porn, and lawyers say his fate is grim. Lady Gaga throws a tantrum. Charlie Sheen drops another fancy car down a ditch. Tuesday gossip could go to jail for photoshopping a vagina.

Between Jesse's epic custody battle and this, they've had a tumultuous year. Lindsay Lohan parties with Mischa Barton, whose ex calls her a plus-sized heifer. Two public make-outs. One scorched-earth email. Five Jesse James mistresses. TGIFriday gossip.

Naomi Watts turns 41 today. Billionaire hedge fund founder Paul Tudor Jones is turning 55. Teen queen Hilary Duff is turning 22. Glenn Lowry, the director of the Museum of Modern Art, is 55. Mira Sorvino is 42. Janeane Garofalo is turning 45. Dita Von Teese is 37. Director John Sayles is 59. Bam Margera is turning…

• Is Andre Balazs the latest man to fall victim to Kelly Bensimon's feminine charms? Life & Style reports the hotelier and the "housewife" were seen getting cozy in Miami recently. [L&S]
• Kiefer Sutherland is in the clear. Prosecutors have dropped charges against him in connection with his assault on Jack McCollough

Serena Williams is 27 today. Others celebrating: Music exec Andre Harrell is 48, Christina Milian is 27, former New Jersey governor Christine Todd Whitman is 62, Olivia Newton-John is 60, and Linda Hamilton turns 52. Two figures on the New York web scene will be blowing out candles this evening: Gothamist co-founder …

Remember when Page Six published a story in April about a purported sex tape featuring Bam Margera and the fiancee of radio shock jock Opie? And Opie immediately denied it, and then the Post admitted it probably wasn't true, and blamed it on a bad source? Well Opie is not the type to let them off that easy—his…

Despite his ophidiphobic nephew's insistence that his uncle had merely accidentally tapped some underage boob at a promotional appearance in Colorado, a preliminary hearing has ruled that Vincent 'Don Vito' Margera will be going to trial: