Ooh boy. Here's a quote that speaks volumes, from Reuters' article about Iran's morality police "cracking down" on the sale of Barbie dolls, which is forbidden. Stores have been instructed to sell Iran's specially-designed, ultra-demure Sara and Dara dolls instead, to the disgust of the superficial girl tykes of…

Dynasty divas Krystal and Alexis Carrington got turned into plastic Barbie miniatures to celebrate the show's 30th anniversary. We can't wait to get them both so we can reenact their famous fights. [Image via Pacific Coast News]

Oh dear. Mattel has gone and made a doll-promoting product-placement reality series called Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend, hosted by Whitney Port. They've rolled out a preview clip and a fascinating website introducing the boytestants.

This month, the FBI issued a warning about how pedophiles could use the new "Video Girl" Barbie doll—the one with an embedded camera—to prey on children. Tonight, Jon Stewart mocked the media for giving predators ideas. Watch inside.

The new 'Video Girl' Barbie comes with a video camera embedded in her necklace. The FBI just issued an alert that Video Girl could be "a possible child pornography production method." If you see a 34-year-old man buying this, beware.

Andy Cohen let Michaele and Tareq Salahi into the Bravo Clubhouse for another edition of Watch What Happens Live. The pair admits they feel vindicated by the Housewives finale. Did you? Bonus: The Michaele Salahi Party-Crasher Barbie doll!

With her shiny blonde hair, perky heels and power suit ("A flair for journalism - and power pink!"), this new Barbie toy reminds us of the famous Fox News babes. Megyn Kelly perhaps? Does Barbie hate the Black Panthers too?

[Her elbows frozen at right angles and toes perpetually flexed, Fameball Barbie poses with her airhead husband Spencer at a pool party in Las Vegas. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

In a single hour, Macy's sold 72,000 bottles of Beyonce's new perfume yesterday. If you think that's impressive, check out all the other stuff she uses her famous face to sell. A portrait of the artist as a commodity.

We know this news came out yesterday, but we couldn't resist sharing the Joan, Roger, Don, and Betty Barbie dolls that Mattel is hawking for $75 a pop. Alcohol problems, sexual peccadilloes, and suburban ennui not included.

We like to "jest" with the advertising industry about how stupid and evil they are, but the truth is that marketing is not easy. Today in Fuzzy Public Outrage: Dolls are racist, and soap bubbles are rapists.

Kate Hudson and A-Rod are still having sex all the time because they like it. New Yorkers agree that this is better than your mythical magic underpants. [Us Weekly]

• At long last, Karl Lagerfeld has his very own Ken doll "complete with matching black suit, high white collar, white ponytail, silver leather gloves." The doll-like photo to your left? That's the genuine article. [Racked]
• Either Adele suddenly dropped a ton of weight before her Annie Leibovitz photo shoot or Vogue…

• Jason Wu's Fashion Week show will be the second-hottest ticket in town right behind Marc Jacobs. [NYO]
• Isaac Mizrahi's debut collection for Liz Claiborne is now online and up for sale. [Fashionista]
• Not everyone is excited about Fashion Week moving to Lincoln Center. Like Anna Sui. [NYM]
• Anna Wintour is…

Have you ever looked at a Barbie doll and wished you could replicate the look for yourself? You'll be able to do just that in a few short months. Mattel is now planning to turn Barbie into an "adult fashion brand"—something the company has already done in Asia—and partnerships are already in place with…

Press your ear to the ground this morning and feel the subsonic rumblings rolling over from Riverside — better known these days as the Epicenter of Epochal Doll Litigation since Mattel went to war against Bratz manufacturer MGA Entertainment last month over Barbie-centric copyright infringement. And while a jury has…