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Jingolympics
Basketball As A Tool Of Geopolitical Reckoning
Racism in the world has been vanquished at last! The Olympic basketball team representing the United States of America—which fittingly embodied our post-racial society by fielding not a single white or Asian player (with good reason)—defeated the Spanish Olympic basketball team to take the gold medal early this morning. The Spanish team, you'll recall, got all that bad press for striking the "Slanty-eyed Chinaman" pose in a full-page ad. Despite Spain's protestations that the pose was all in good ching-chong-chow-fun, the world rallied behind the men from America, where basketball is an exercise in acceptance and multiculturalism. Let this be a lesson to the lesser countries of Earth: embrace the United States' gentle values, or face extermination. [Click through to see the fateful ad one last time]: More »
Jingolympics
Spain Outraged At Media Twisting Its Athletes' "Ching Chong Chinaman" Fun
Here was the Spanish Olympic basketball team, minding its own business by posing for a full-page newspaper ad in the "Slanty-eyed Chinaman" pose, which, as all Spanish basketball players know, is funny and endearing. Then the scurrilous English-speaking media goes and writes a news story about it, twisting it into some sort of "racist" gesture. Despite the fact that Spanish athletes have many Chinamen friends! Spanish nationalist outrage has risen up at the foreign misinterpretations of this widely practiced gesture of eye-based friendship among Spanish athletic teams. So it's only fitting that the (English) reporter who broke the story has now had to write a groveling piece defending his decision to cover this Spanish leisure activity: More »
Controversies
It was quite an embarrassment for the nation of Spain yesterday when an ad surfaced showing their entire national Olympic basketball team posing in the "Slanty-eyed Asian" position, pulling their eyelids back. We imagine the photo shoot was followed by several minutes of mimed karate moves and Enter The Dragon reenactments, only adding to the awkwardness. So the entire nation of China has been waiting expectantly for an apology. And today they got...outrage that anyone would think Spain is racist! Why, some of their closest friends are from China or somewhere like that!
More »
Some Of Spain's Best Friends Are Asian!
It was quite an embarrassment for the nation of Spain yesterday when an ad surfaced showing their entire national Olympic basketball team posing in the "Slanty-eyed Asian" position, pulling their eyelids back. We imagine the photo shoot was followed by several minutes of mimed karate moves and Enter The Dragon reenactments, only adding to the awkwardness. So the entire nation of China has been waiting expectantly for an apology. And today they got...outrage that anyone would think Spain is racist! Why, some of their closest friends are from China or somewhere like that!
More »
Jingolympics
Spanish Olympic Team: "Ching Chong Chinaman! Ha Ha!"
The Olympics, we're told, is a delicate dance of geopolitical maneuvering dressed up as an athletic contest. In reality, it's the world's largest assembly of dumb jocks. All of whom are now in a position to cause international incidents! Spain and China may have poisoned their diplomatic relationship because the entire Spanish national basketball team thought it would be cute to make an ad for some courier company posing with the "Slanty-eyed Asian" gesture: fingers pulling the eyelids to make them slits. I imagine they were all saying "Ah, soooo" at the time and laughing uproariously. The full photo is bad enough that someone should have realized it was mistake: More »
Controversies
Does Nike Hate Gays? Or Do Gays Hate Basketball?
Nike's new ad campaign for its Hyperdunk shoes features a series of pictures of basketball players getting dunked on in what's considered the worst way possible: the dunker dangling off the rim, his balls dangling in the face of the man being dunk-ee. They all have dynamic slogans like "That Ain't Right!" The company has been plastering them around NYC's most famous streetball meccas, like Harlem (home to The Rucker) and West 4th St. Their rollout coincides with a big foofaraw this week (which some critics say is stupid oversensitivity) over whether the ad industry is making blatantly homophobic ads. All of which raises the question: Are these Nike ads a new low in homophobic advertising? Or do the gays just not understand basketball? More »
basketball
Pride Of NYC, America Hinges On Knicks Draft Choice
Because it's a lazy Friday before a long weekend, it's time to talk a bit about sports. But this is important! The Knicks, to everyone's chagrin, drew only the sixth pick in the upcoming NBA draft. Had they landed the first pick, they would have been assured of getting Derrick Rose, the best player in the nation and a great point guard, which is what the team needs. Now, draft projections say they may end up picking OJ Mayo, the USC guard and former high school phenom. Who could also be good! Why is this important? Now that supervillain Isaiah Thomas has been fired as Knicks coach, the city needs to heal again. This draft will set the tone for the team's resurrection. Even if you don't like sports, you must wish fervently for a strong Knicks squad, for the sake of NYC's honor—we cannot afford for our city to be trashed by middle American teams. It's bad for everyone here, and everyone who runs America is here, so it's bad for America. Below, a highlight video of Derrick Rose (maybe they can trade up for him!) and one of OJ May (did you know he had such a sweet jumpshot? I didn't.). THIS IS IMPORTANT. More »
previews
Day Three: The Gay Hip Hop Author Meets An Athlete's Mom
So, have there been any updates in the prolonged daily rollout of salacious details about "Preston," the mystery professional athlete who allegedly had a fling with Terrance Dean, former closeted MTV producer and author of the upcoming book on the gay side of hip hop? Well yes there has been an update! Though we must say, he's really trickling this story out slowly. Today, Preston—who we now know is a pro basketball player—reveals his down-low status, and then takes Terrance home to meet his mom: More »
previews
More Closeted Athlete Details From The Gay Hip Hop Author
Terrance Dean, the former MTV producer who's about to release his hotly-anticipated-by-us book on the gay secrets of hip hop, has provided a few more details on "Preston," the mystery pro athlete who Dean says he had a fling with at an island resort. So all of you who guessed football players, baseball players, or Mike Tyson: wrong!: More »
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