Report: BEES!
According to the Associated Press, three people were hospitalized in Oklahoma City on Saturday after a swarm of “30,000 to 60,000" BEES escaped and stung passersby during a BEE deal done wrong in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
Science Watch: Our Man In Space
Animal legs! Weather extremes! Planet surfaces! Astronaut man! Dark things! Bee teams! Bio touch! And liquids that may or may not be of benefit to one and all! It’s your periodic Science Watch, where we watch science—without ever touching the ground!
The bees are dying because people keep moving them around, facilitating the spread of a wing-breaking virus. Also: “A picture with an earlier version of this article, using information from a photo agency, was published in error. It was of a fly mimicking a bee, not a bee.”
Texas Farmer "Shredded" to Death by Goddamn Bees
Generally bees aren’t so bad but sometimes they do something awful, like on Sunday when an angry swarm killed a Texas farmer who accidentally disturbed a huge hive. “He had gaping wounds, the bees shredded him basically. It was horrible,” the victim’s sister told KGBT. Sweet Christ.
Pregnant Woman Lost in Woods Fights Bees, Gives Birth, Starts Wildfire
A California woman recently rescued from a remote forest with her newborn child described her incredible three-day ordeal to reporters this week, claiming she gave birth, fought off insects and started a brush fire before help finally arrived.
Damn That's a Lot of Bees
Cops in Montana had to let the driver of this Final Destination-looking motor vehicle go with just a ticket last week. Turns out the state legislature, for some strange reason, never thought to write laws governing the voluntary transportation of thousands of bees in the backseat of a sedan.
Accusations Fly, Buzz, Sting After NYPD Bee Detective's Dramatic Exit
Just eight months ago, Anthony “Tony Bees” Planakis had nothing but kind words for the police department where he’d served, until recently, as detective and resident apiarist. Now, he’s buzzing a different tune. “I had no choice but to retire,” Tony Bees told the New York Post. “I was blackballed.”
$92,000 Worth of Bees, Bees, Bees All Over This Highway, So Many Bees
A semitruck full of boxes of honeybees rolled over on a highway in Lynnwood, Washington early Friday morning. Can you imagine? A semitruck full of boxes of honeybees, rolling over on a highway, of all places? Well, be(e)lieve it!
Twin Toddlers Drown After Mom, Attacked by Bee, Loses Grip on Stroller
Two 18-month-old twin brothers drowned in Arizona on Friday in a strange and tragic accident that began with an attacking bee, The Washington Post reports.
Screaming Kids, Feckless President Ruin Innocent Bee's White House Visit
A simple trip to the White House ended in chaos for a Washington-area honey bee on Monday, when a bunch of kids started freaking out and our commander-in-chief proved powerless to stop them.
Thousands of Bees Crushed By Traffic in Literal Honey Trap
A honey spill in the middle of a Florida highway drew thousands of stupid bees to their death on Thursday. According to the News-Press, Neslan Torralvo of Torralvo’s Honey & Pollination Service hit a bump in the road, spilling 200 gallons of honey—about 2,400 pounds—or nearly $5,000—worth.
Man Killed by 800,000 Bees Hiding in the Attic
An Arizona man died and another was injured when a swarm of 800,000 angry bees escaped an attic and began attacking them.
God Almighty Sent Blake Lively a Bee Attack for Her Birthday
With our imperfect knowledge and limited faculties constrained, as they are, by the hedges of time and space, we cannot "know," in the narrow, popularly-used sense of the word, which of the Ten Commandments Blake Lively violated that prompted God to turn her birthday into a bee hell, but it was probably 9.
Bees Are Killing Americans. We Are Losing the War on Bees.
Bees: winged bombs of fiery poison; bright invaders from above; nectar thieves with barbs of fury. We are saddened to report to you that our call for a War on Bees has gone unheeded, and—as a predictable result—Americans have died.
Man Dies After Crashing Car Into Bee-Infested Abandoned House
A 54-year-old man died yesterday after crashing his car into an long-abandoned home in St. Charles, Michigan. Responders arrived to the scene quickly, but their efforts were deterred by an angry swarm of bees that had apparently been living in the house.
Watch a Man Chug a Gallon of Honey While Wearing a Faceful of Bees
Chugging an entire gallon of honey is tough enough under optimal circumstances—that's about 2 weeks worth of calories—but it's absolutely terrifying when you have 2,000 bees hanging out all over your face.
Zombie Bees Terrorize Bushwick
According to a Bushwick resident, "Bees from Roberta's rooftop hives are escaping and terrorizing [the] street nightly."
Bumblebee Saves Another Bumblebee From Spider's Clutches
A man with a voice meant for narrating nature documentaries got his chance while filming a bumblebee trapped by a spider. He was taking the video to teach his son "a sort of brutal life lesson," but ended up capturing something entirely different.
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