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New York, 9:03 PM
Sun Nov 29
11 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of JacquesPaysan JacquesPaysan
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    Hamilton: "Shark Cops" sounds like a hit show to me. You could probably pitch the idea on the title alone.
     Reply
    JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    06/22/09

    @Ropocalypse Now: Bad fish, bad fish, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    Young and alone? Really? I knew sharks were shark-y but doesn't that beat all? I bet they spend their days cooling their fins outside Barbizon Hotel for Women. Creeps.
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    If they only go after certain victims, how about we just adopt an appeasement policy?
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    1. That picture is the worst Cute Overload audition ever.


    2. I am looking forward to Shark Week, though, since Discovery headquarters in Silver Spring puts a giant inflatable shark head on the building.


    3. Telling Jeffrey Dahmer might require the services of a psychic friend, as he was shanked in prison a few years ago.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    06/22/09

    @Smitros: But if we could add a cheeseburger above the mouth, it could be a contender at ICHC.
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    Look people, rent a few movies from the 1970's and come to the realization, like many of us, like me in particular, that no good can come from going in the water with rampant flesh-eating piranha, killer whales avenging their baby's death, and mechanical sharks that can bite through boats...yeah, um, I don't swim.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of PersonalBest PersonalBest
    06/22/09

    @Spirit Fingers: If you do take the plunge, clothing and a low blood alcohol content is advisable.
     Reply
    PersonalBest was starred PersonalBest was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    06/22/09

    @PersonalBest: No, I always thought it was better to have lowered response time and reflexes while also having every orifice uncovered and flailing about like wiggling sushi. You might as well swim covered in condiments and floating on a bed of lettuce. All the Piranhas, Jawses, and Orcas don't even have to work for dinner.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/22/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Also don't go diving for WWII era heroin capsules in the Bahamas.
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of RonnSicTorossian RonnSicTorossian
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    I was eaten by a shark once. It sucked.
     Reply
    RonnSicTorossian was starred RonnSicTorossian was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/22/09

    @RonnSicTorossian: It's that second row of teeth.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    06/22/09

    @RonnSicTorossian:


    Too much teeth?

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/22/09

    @Smitros: somebody needs to practice.
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of Lizawithazee Lizawithazee
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    I can't wait to hear the psychological dissection of the disgruntled sea bass.
     Reply
    Lizawithazee was starred Lizawithazee was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    is it 'Summer of the Shark' again already?
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of Sneeze In Bed Sneeze In Bed
    06/22/09

    @HiredGoons: It's about freakin time.
     Reply
    Sneeze In Bed was starred Sneeze In Bed was unstarred
    Image of waltzngmatlda waltzngmatlda
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    um HELLOOOOO? the answer is painfully simple.


    mechanized dolphin squads.

     Reply
    waltzngmatlda was starred waltzngmatlda was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    06/22/09

    @waltzngmatlda: We blew the budget on laser kitties.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    "Who is it?"
    "Plumber."
    "Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?"
    (Pause)
    "Telegram."


    [video.aol.com]

     Reply
    MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    06/22/09

    @MisterHippity: I gues AOL videos don't automatically embed in Gawker comments. Too bad I can't find this video on Youtube.


    Let me try this ...


    Watch more SPIKE videos on AOL Video

     Reply
    MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    06/22/09

    @MisterHippity: Ok, that didn't work. I give up. Sorry about that.
     Reply
    MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/22/09

    @MisterHippity: Land Shark! Love you, Hippity!
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of malo-ji malo-ji
    06/22/09

    @MisterHippity:


    "... Candygram"

     Reply
    malo-ji was starred malo-ji was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    06/22/09

    @malo-ji: "Wait a minute - you can't fool me. You're that land shark, aren't you?"
    "I'm not really a shark. I'm a dolphin."
     Reply
    MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark: He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living . . .until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin.'
     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    06/22/09

    @Nice Beaver: You should write children's books.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    06/22/09

    @blix: Spoiler Alert: That text is actually taken from Chapter IX ("It's Getting Darker") of my new tween novel "Daddy Became Mommy in the Circus: Tales from a Child of a Scary Clown Tranny."


    It's actually from Jaws.

     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    06/22/09

    @Nice Beaver: Wow, never thought about how Quint leads right into Lecter:

    Hannibal Lecter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?

    Clarice Starling: Lambs. The lambs were screaming.

    Hannibal Lecter: They were slaughtering the spring lambs?

    Clarice Starling: And they were screaming.
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    06/22/09

    @naugahydeinplainsight: Wow, that's good stuff. Hannibal's pathology was charted by witnessing people eating each other, and Quint's emerged from watching his shipmates get eaten by sharks. Who's next in this crazed line? A.C. Slater?
     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of DorothyBarker DorothyBarker
    06/22/09

    @Nice Beaver: We're going to need a bigger boat.
     Reply
    DorothyBarker was starred DorothyBarker was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    I'll do it. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/22/09

    @Nice Beaver: that is some bad hat Harry.
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    And everyone faults the Japanese for eating shark! But God said it is A-OK!


    Psalm 74:14: "Thou brakest the heads of Leviathan in pieces, and gavest him to be meat to the people inhabiting the wilderness."

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Kid Twist Kid Twist
    06/22/09

    @BookishLookish: I prefer to eat tasty dolphin. Just make sure it's tuna-free.
     Reply
    Kid Twist was starred Kid Twist was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    06/22/09

    @Kid Twist: My psychic dolphin network (which is blessed with supernatural powers) *could* make a reservation for you at the Flipper Suite in Hell, if they were so inclined. There will be no mints under those pillows, I assure you. This is your first warning. Have a nice day.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of rudi_freude rudi_freude
    06/22/09

    In reply to Just Give Up: Sharks Are Serial Killers
    And this is why there are no more mermaids in the oceans.
     Reply
    rudi_freude was starred rudi_freude was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/22/09

    @rudi_freude: They all live in condos now. But they were all at the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island on Saturday.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of VeeKaChu VeeKaChu
    06/22/09

    @BookishLookish:While I normally shy away from the usual internet "trite-eries", when someone alludes to so extraordinary an event as a "Mermaid Parade", I simply must insist, "pics or it didn't happen".


    Mmmmm.... mermaids...

     Reply
    VeeKaChu was starred VeeKaChu was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/22/09

    @VeeKaChu: Now, I know you know how to use Google. But here is one:


    [www.brooklynvegan.com]

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
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