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Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Ass-vertising Campaign Just Normal In Belgium, Apparently
Don't Let A Blow Job Compromise Your Health!
Swedish pirates ascendant, Belgians spank Google

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MissVolare
11/22/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
I lived in Bruxelles during the late 1980s and i can tell you from experience that the country is beautiful and the 'Giques are the world's worst drivers. They used to have the highest accident rate in the world, but the (pommes) frites are delicious!
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@MissVolare: I'd say that's a pretty even trade-off. Just pass le ketchup, I cannot get with le 'naise on the frites.
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T.S._delegate
11/22/08

@BookishLookish: oh man, bookish. you're missing out. I had mayo, but it's different over there. and so is the ketchup, which is...spicier? in a bad way, I think.
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T.S._delegate
11/22/08

@T.S._delegate: had = hate :)
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@T.S._delegate: I had the fancy 'naise over there too, didn't really dig it. Also just cannot get my mind around it, I guess. Heinz 57, FTW!
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T.S._delegate
11/22/08

@BookishLookish: yeah, Heinz I can't argue with. I eat it by the glass full. anything that is a vehicle for ketchup is a favorite food.
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ArdisPhineas
11/22/08

No. I will not have their mayonnaise slandered. in this country the makers of mayo seem to regard it as some sort of jam or sugar based spread. Like they do with pretty much all food products. You know what this mayo/bread/bacon needs? More sugar!

What you are eating is not real mayo, people.
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@ArdisPhineas: Yes, yes, we know. It just is not good with the frites, ya feel me?
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
A Belgian family hid one of my great-aunts during World War II. For that alone, I will be eternally grateful to Belgium.
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wooden_shoes
11/22/08

@BookishLookish: my cousins grandfather was in Belgium during WWII. He and his fellow soldiers were up on a snowy mountain when a group of nuns showed up with all the white linens from the town below. They said "if we can see you, they can see you. Cover up" The Belgians are pretty awesome people.
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@paperpusher: Great story. Those Belgian nuns saved thousands of children from the SS.

FOX, as usual, fails: lousy comedy and mocking a country that, after all is said and done, is just fine.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@BookishLookish: And least we all forget--one of the most romantically tragic figures of the lat 19th century-- the Empress Carlotta of Mixico-- was born Princess Charlotte of Belgium.
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@oyvehisyou: Oh, yes--she is often forgotten, but she shouldn't be.

I am also a big fan of Queen Marie of Romania, still revered by the Ba'hai, as in the old-school utterance, "Yeah, and I'm the lost child of Queen Marie of Romania!"
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@BookishLookish: Evidently spelling was not my strong suit.. but, yes, she deserves more credit than she gets!
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LeChevre
11/22/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Paddington Bear, in that video, is clearly in Hyde Park, Chicago, and not Belgium.
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i'm a bottle
11/22/08

@LeChevre: You're right. They're on E. 57th St., right in front of the Museum of Science and Industry before it turns into Lake Shore Drive. You're good, really good.
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i'm a bottle
11/22/08

@LeChevre: They're practicing handling the balloons for Chicago's Thanksgiving Day parade.
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phlox✔
11/22/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
'In Bruges' + Rene Magritte (happy 110th B-day!) - Belgian Waffles (by Karen Finley) x BEER = Perfection
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phlox✔
11/22/08

@phlox: So I had to remind myself just WHY 'Belgian Waffles' is soooo memorable:

let me tell you how I take the yams
ooh I stick it up my granny's ass
she's a real real nice granny
ooh and I never touch her snatch
'cause she's my granny
ooh and I love her ass
ooh I take those Belgian waffles
ooh I smear it up her crack
and I put it up her butthole
'cause I love those Belgian waffles
ooh and I take that Belgian beer

Wish I had an audio link for this masterpiece.
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StrawBerryShortCake
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Any country that can take perfectly good pancake mix and make it better by forming it into little windows in which to hold my syrup and other toppings I am 100% in support of. Sorry Fox news but I am siding with Belgium on this one.

*Damn now I want waffles!
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katekate is squared
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You

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get the buttah
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
I don't get it. Is this supposed to be funny? Hello? Delivery? He looks like he's got indigestion and needs to take the night off. I'm confused. I've got some Chimay in the fridge.. maybe that'll help me understand what's goin' on.
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Schm
11/22/08

@get the buttah: He seems to be trying desperately to be deadpan witty, but cannot pull it off for the life of him. It's just confusing and uncomfortable to watch.
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@schmalerie: FOX, your subtle comediie, u r doin it rong.
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crotchety
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Yes, Belgium blows. Never, ever visit Belgium.

(It will leave that much more for me.)
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wooden_shoes
11/21/08

@crotchety: I was thinking the same thing....

You guys aren't missing anything, just a horrible horrible place...filled with amazing beer, chocolate, wafels, and other food stuffs. And some of my best friends. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
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crotchety
11/21/08

@paperpusher: Oh, yes, the PEOPLE! Absolutely vile! If there's one thing I hate it's attractive, friendly, generous, witty people!
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@crotchety: @paperpusher: Uhmm.. actually.. I've always been fonder of bitchy, evil queens. That's why I live in New York.
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wooden_shoes
11/22/08

@oyvehisyou: that's fine with me more fun in Belgium for us then.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@paperpusher: Perhaps we can just agree that CANADA is the real enemy!
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@paperpusher: I went to high school in Paris--that SHOULD explain EVERYTHING! Moules Marinieres ROCKS, however.
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TikiPundit
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Now, now, no hating on Belgium. Your friendly local Hawai'ian god lived there and it's a fine, mellow country full of beautiful people who survive the worse-than-England rain squalls. The street protests are sideshows to a larger psychosis -- national identity, and it's all in good fun. If the country goes in the toilet because it can't form a government, what's the world to lose besides the second best culinary capital after Paris (Bruxelles, I mean, no really, ahem)? The north will go Dutch, the east Deutsch, and the south Frog. French, I mean. Ahem
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@TikiPundit: You are SO RIGHT. Let's go back to hatin' CANADA. I just KNOW that DEVIL of the NORTH is up to somethin'!
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seekingwhat
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Stupid sexy Flanders.
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homoviper
11/21/08

@seekingwhat: It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all...nothing at all...nothing at all.
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BeRightBack
11/21/08

@seekingwhat: So funny. Good job.
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KristaJulieva
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
I read once that Ford Madox Ford had this profound hate of Belgium and the Belgians for no discernible reasons. So in tribute I sometimes hate on the Belgians. It's just the most random and least offensive of all the prejudices one can have in this world.
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i'm a bottle
11/21/08

@KristaJulieva: Belgium is a much richer country for having been hated by Ford Madox Ford.
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i'm a bottle
11/21/08

@i'm_a_bottle: I never understood why William Carlos Williams praised Ford Madox Ford (the Good Soldier was so boring with no redeeming value), I always merely assumed it was due to the structural similarity of their names: An artistic brotherhood based on the A-B-A structure.
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WretchedGnu
11/22/08

@KristaJulieva: Ford probably turned against Belgium through the influence of his buddy Conrad. In one of their unfinished joint projects is a heavy-handed satire against Leopold and his people for their slaughter in the Congo... much more explicitly than Conrad managed in Heart of Darkness.
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i'm a bottle
11/22/08

@WretchedGnu: Yep, that definitely has to be the reason. I forgot that Ford collaborated with Conrad. The Belgians were responsible for unspeakable atrocities in the Congo at the turn of the century. Millions of people were killed either directly or indirectly. I would hate the Belgians as well were I alive around that time.
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Auntie_Meme
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
I only know what I learned from watching Monty Python, Belgium is a country full of Sprouts, Phlegms, and Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards.
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contains_hot_liquid
11/21/08

@Auntie_Meme: Goddam Waffles.
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homoviper
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Apparently Paddington Bear has a huge cock.
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BookishLookish
11/22/08

@eXXX: Not anymore.
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mitchel_stevens
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
In the old days, Denton would've thanked the Intern by not firing them or making them get a donut from Balthazar.

And then he'd make them the managing editor of Screenhead and say they had 4 days to make it a success. Or else they'd be given to Weblogs.
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T.S._delegate
11/21/08

In reply to Red Eye Hates Belgium Far More Than You
Belgian talk show host: "Ok, everyone. Let's play a little game. I'm going to pick a contestant and if she answers my question right, she wins a prize."

Host motions towards woman in front row. woman tentatively walks up on stage.

host: "ok, here we go. what's two plus three?"

belgian woman: "two plus three? four."

host: "ahhh, I'm sorry, that's incorrect."

crowd: "come on, come on, give her another chance."

host: "ok, ok. one more chance."

woman (thinking for a second): "six?"

host: "sorry, still incorrect."

crowd: "come on, one more chance! give her another chance!"

host: "I'm really not supposed to do this, but ok. one last chance."

woman (scrunching up forehead): "ahh...um....five?"

host: "that's co-"

crowd: "come on, come on! give her another chance!"

(Typical Dutch joke; we hate on the Belgians. Maybe Andrew has some Dutch friends?)
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T.S._delegate
11/21/08

@T.S._delegate: P.S. sorry ahead of time for the ridiculously long post.
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Shelwood
11/22/08

@T.S._delegate: I thought he might be from Northeast Wisconsin (he's not), where the Belgian-American population is large. We also told Belgian jokes there. I think it's because they served us booyah for school lunch.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
11/22/08

@T.S._delegate: Why do birds fly in circles over Brussels? It's HARD to fly straight holding one wing over your nose!
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