FLORENCE, ITALY — In the four hundred years since Forte de Belvedere was constructed, just outside the city walls of Florence, it has never been attacked. Tonight it was placed under siege by Beliebers.

PR email blasts take on a kind of terrifying, poetic majesty at this time of year. Some caps become all caps; "don't-miss" becomes "can't-miss"; I have now read the words "burlesque" and "cabaret" so many times that they have lost all meaning. Everything is burlesque. All things are burlesque. Nothing is burlesque.…