Ben Carson is determined to stay in this race until the money dries out, and the money is drying out.

Last night in Iowa, Ted Cruz’s campaign circulated a rumor about Ben Carson quitting his campaign. The rumor turned out to be untrue, and Carson’s staff is using it to explain their poor showing in the caucus. Below, you can read the fateful email that directed Cruz volunteers to turn confused Carson supporters into…

Ben Carson’s sinking campaign hit another low point last night when the famed surgeon finished fourth in the Iowa caucus, a good 14 points behind Marco Rubio in what appears to now be a three-person race for the Republican nomination. The Carson camp has so far offered one reason for his poor showing: a…

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It is not exactly a secret that one convenient feature of Ben Carson’s political campaign is the amount of money it’s willing to pay its advisors and fundraisers. A few weeks ago, Dean Parker, Carson’s top moneyman, walked the plank after a Politico article detailed frustrations within the campaign regarding the cash…

One of the four Ben Carson campaign workers injured in a car accident in western Iowa on Tuesday has died, the Des Moines Register’s Jennifer Jacobs reported on Twitter. The male volunteer, Braden Joplin, was 25.

Dean Parker, Dr. Ben Carson’s finance chairman and top fundraiser, resigned from the campaign this morning, just hours after the publication of a Politico article exposing fractures in Carson’s inner circle allegedly caused by Parker’s unusually high salary, expenses and aggressive temperament.

At some point in 2014, long before House Republicans offed leader John Boehner, they reportedly recruited as his replacement a man who was a mostly unknown figure at the time: Dr. Ben Carson.

Earlier today, Ben Carson—whose campaign is doing fine, great even!—met with over 500 students and parents at Isaac Newton Christian School in Iowa. This, also, went great.

Earlier this week, Candy Carson, wife of former neurosurgeon and Zoloft “before” blob Ben Carson, released herself a book. And keeping with Carson tradition, some of Candy’s tales were a bit of a stretch—especially the one surrounding the bobby-pin-assisted bathroom birth of her third-born son. So we asked author and…

You may have heard some recent doomsaying about people fleeing Ben Carson’s presidential undertaking. To counter the doubters, Ben Carson has released this proof-of-life photo of his campaign, where he sits alone in a hotel room. Video chatting with New Hampshire schoolchildren. On a very tiny tablet.

The latest installment in the often quite literally unbelievable Carson Chronicles comes from Ben Carson’s wife, Candy, with her now book, A Doctor in the House. In it, we learn that before he was the stabby, skull-smashin’ adolescent we know and love, Ben Carson was a tween with a rat poison-flavored death wish. Oh,…

The campaign manager and communications director for the Ben Carson campaign have resigned, after Carson sort of promised to fire them, and then didn’t, earlier this month.

Soft-spoken attempted murderer Ben Carson this week announced a mysterious campaign shakeup that definitely won’t involve layoffs, unless it does.

On Tuesday, Ben Carson said he spoke to Reince Pubis. Pubis—a plump, humanoid Jedi Master with dark red hair, and an affable scholar of Jedi history—should not be confused with Reinhold Richard “Reince” Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee.

If listening to the current Republican presidential frontrunners speak is scaring you to death, here is something to make you feel better: there is now a semi-plausible scenario in which the entire party hilariously self-destructs.

At a press conference earlier today, Ben Carson referred to the mass shooting in San Bernardino, California as “a hate crime.”

Last month, The Onion ran an article with the headline “GOP Warns Refugees Likely to Be Driven to Terrorism by Way America Treats Them.” Ha ha!, we said. What a funny and absurd idea—what a farce! Now, two weeks later, that Onion headline has been given the gift of life. And it would like you to call it “Ben Carson.”

Coming off fresh from an incident in which he compared the Syrian refugees to “rabid dogs,” Ben Carson is now spending the week in Jordan, where he apparently plans to make up for his capacious lack of any sort of foreign affairs experience whatsoever with a few strategic head pats. And what has Dr. Carson learned so…

On Friday, presumably to burnish his (non-existent) foreign policy credentials, Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson traveled to Jordan for a two-day tour of several camps of Syrian refugees, who he previously compared to rabid dogs.