"In-house proofreader" wanted, says the ad! You're lucky if they let you out of this house:
Go get your flack on for Web Nation Video, where they promise to teach you to "provide these Reporters and Editors the proper number of words" for "the story they desire." Pitches from Publicists—so hot right now.

Sadly, the actual duties of this CNBC position are far less fun/disgusting than they sound:

————— Forwarded message ————— From: NYTIMES MAIL <nytmail@nytimes.com> Date: Jan 18, 2008 2:06 AM Subject: Cafeteria pricing To: NY TIMES INTERNET <NY_TIMES_INTERNET@nytimes.com>, NY TIMES NOTES <NY_TIMES_NOTES@nytimes.com > Dear Colleagues,

In an effort to keep up with the increasing cost of food and supplies, we have authorized Restaurant Associates to raise food prices in the cafeteria by an average of 3.9%, effective February 4. This will be the first cafeteria price increase in nearly three years.

In determining the increase, we researched prices at Times Square area shops like Metro Marche, Europa and Pax. We are pleased that we will be able to keep prices 8% to 10% below the average for the neighborhood.

If you have any questions, please contact Patricia Sharp, cafeteria general manager, at Redacted@restaurantassociates.com or 212-556-XXXX.

Thank you.

Brian Banks Executive Director, Building Services

Previously: Freelancers Union Is 'Inconvenient Mess Of An Organization' Says One Member

Billed or not, in possession of an insurance card or not, Horowitz said union members who signed up are covered under the organization's new plan with Empire. Maybe so, but they won't receive insurance cards till the middle of the month and that's got some freelancers concerned. Those who might need proof of coverage before then should head over to the FU's website, where Horowitz has posted a mea culpa and more information.

"We really are desperately learning from this, especially trying to get information to people more quickly," she told us. "A lot of what people are saying is true. I wish our phone wait times were two minutes, that our call system was perfect." Huh! Maybe they picked up some skills from the Viacom boondoggle after all! The FU took about five hours to publicly address member concerns—Viacom took nearly as many days.

Previously: Freelancers Union Health Benefits SNAFU Has Members Fuming

"They gave us three weeks to find new doctors, psychiatrists, etc. I was outraged," a union member told us. "FU bills itself as a savior and friend to the freelancers, but instead it's an inconvenient mess of an organization that seems like it's being run by a third party company that doesn't fully understand what it's doing."

Since the health plan switch was announced, we hear that FU's phones have been so clogged with members seeking guidance from customer service that the department was effectively shut down at certain points during the holidays. In fact, the Freelancers Union seems to have been rather unresponsive since November, according to several reports.

The package on offer to union members doesn't provide dental coverage—the old plan did. "Now I'm forced to switch to a new plan that offers no dental coverage at all, and I can't enroll in separate dental coverage until next fall—ridiculous," a freelancer (perhaps one with children in braces?) told us. "And you thought the
MTV freelancers were screwed." Well...yeah, we did.

Even with the rate bumps under the new plan, the union still provides more affordable health care to its members than Viacom wanted to provide for its permalance army. The FU's new plan covers care at Memorial Sloan-Kettering (the previous one didn't) and offers a larger physician network. And wait a second—the Freelancers Union used to offer dental? Talk about the life of Reilly!

That's not to say that union members don't have anything to complain about: besides this gap in coverage and the disappearance of their dental coverage, the union's new plan will set freelancers back $750 for a hospital stay. Lab tests performed as a result of any doctor's visit are subject to a member's $3,000 annual deductible, which is about a grand more than it used to be. Hey, diagnose yourselves, people! We suggest watching a lot of House or becoming a rabid clipper of the "Diagnosis" column from the Times magazine.

"My wife has doctor's appointments today and I have been trying to get our new insurance ID numbers since the new cards have not been sent," another freelancer told us. "Empire doesn't have my SS# on file and my bank has yet to withdraw the new amount for my bill. I AM NOT EVEN SURE IF I'M INSURED AT ALL!!!" Freelancers are complaining that getting through over the phone to FU (yeah, we know, but nah—too easy) is near impossible. Automatic bank payments meant to go toward health plan deductibles have yet to be processed by FU—the union explained the tardiness to at least one freelancer who repeated it on the nonprofit's site: "They said they are backed up b/c of the holiday." Oh! Well then, we'll just tell that freelancer in labor over there to hold it till you guys get caught up, 'kay? People flooding Empire this morning with calls are being told they don't exist in the HMO's system and that information from only a fraction of union members who signed up to switch health plans has been sent over by the union. According to the November memo, co-pays under Empire are higher across the board than they were under previous provider HIP. Know anything else? Drop me a line.

Earlier: 'Times' Announces Newsroom Layoffs

As to avoid dragging Designers For Darfur into some sort of public scandal or faux feud between Lydia Hearst and myself, I have decided to share my side of the story with the Gawker after reading the article printed in today's New York Post "Exploited Name". It has been made blatantly apparent that the folks of the New York Post will not give me fair shake against their "celebrity reporter" Lydia Hearst, and I simply would like to have my side of the story told....

When Designers For Darfur was originally formed, Lydia Hearst and I agreed that we would hold periodic events and initiatives in order to raise awareness, particularly within fashion industry, as to the ongoing crisis/genocide currently taking place in Darfur.... Unfortunately, Lydia's participation in the "real work" and/or "decision making process" for these events and initiatives left a great deal to be desired. That being said, Lydia and I both have always known the deal - the trade was simple - we do "all" the real work and you use your name to promote the events (the absolute least a "co-founder" should be able to do is to show up, look pretty for the cameras, and smile)... I can assure you that I have taken no great pleasure in always having to explain Lydia's absence at every single event instead of focusing on explaining to guests what they can do to assist in ending the genocide taking place in the Sudan.

Whilst Lydia is most certainly a delightful person and I have nothing bad to say about her character, I do believe that today's breed of "socialite" simply pales in comparison to the ideals set forth by great women such as Brooke Astor, Nan Kempner, Pat Buckley and many others that felt innately compelled to participate in a lifetime of charitable efforts. I simply believe that Ms. Hearst wasn't fully aware of the seriousness nature of the "grassroots" organization that she "committed" to join. It is my belief that Ms. Hearst was under the impression that after the "runway shows" and "pretty parties" the folks in Darfur would certainly now be out of harms way.... Unfortunately a crisis as serious at the situation in the Sudan does not simply go away after the disco ball of the most recent gala stops spinning....

You must forgive me for my heartfelt response, but I don't have the luxury of being able to afford a mouthpiece or publicist to speak on my behalf therefore, I am more than willing to be Malcolm Harris/designer/activist/"party-promoter"/humanitarian/or backslash anything else... But what I do have on my side is the sheer commonsense of humanity... I continue to wish Lydia Hearst well in all of her efforts.

Best regards,

Malcolm Harris

The basics of freelancing: Contractors complete a piece of work in exchange for a fee, not a salary. They can't be bound by specific hours or be required to attend meetings or work at the office. Employers aren't actually required to provide health or retirement benefits to anyone. If they're big enough, most companies provide those benefits at some level in order to get and keep happy employees. But if they provide benefits to some employees, they have to provide them for all. And that's where it gets sticky, because many freelancers, whether they know it or not, fit the (maddeningly loose) definition of employee.

There is no legal definition for an independent contractor, but courts uphold the common law definitions of "master" and "slave." That's less fun than it sounds. Whether someone is an employee or a contractor is based on the amount of control their boss has over them. The implied relationship determines if you're a contractor or an employee, entitled to the benefits every other employee gets. Vague enough? Sound like you're in a relationship with a high-strung high-schooler?

You're Basically An Employee If:

• Your employer gives you company equipment to complete your work.
• You have to get prior permission to take a day off.
• You spend all your time working for one company—likely you don't have the time to work for anyone else.
• You submit oral or written reports to our boss.
• Your employer trained you for your position.
• Your employer bought, trained and supervises your lovely assistant.
• You have your own work station on company premises.
• The business couldn't maintain its success or performance without your services. (In reality, not just in your mind!)
• You're reimbursed for expenses.
• You've been instructed where, when, or how to complete the job you've agreed to. (Having a picky boss doesn't qualify.)
• 
  None of these are legal definitions and many companies blur the lines. Newspapers and magazines, who often fill their pages with freelance work, occasionally set up "freelance stations," where a contractor can work, sometimes daily, without being given their own station and thus qualifying for employee status.

  Not every employer is out to exploit cheap labor. In the media industry in particular, a company is hard-pressed not to use freelance workers. Many of the most ambitious contractors are young and happy to do the work for a byline or are established enough to want independence—both are attractive. Giving those people steady work or a few perks seems only natural. Unfortunately for employers, it also qualifies them for more.

  In September, Governor Spitzer issued an executive order [PDF] establishing the Joint Enforcement Task Force On Employee Misclassification. Spitzer's order rattled the cages of a few media companies—the governor wants to look under rocks most of them would prefer remain undisturbed.

  Viacom may have faced a choice common to media companies: eliminate benefits to independent contractors, or hire them on as employees. Take away paid vacation, company-provided healthcare and a retirement plan, and it becomes a lot easier to make the case that a freelancer is just a freelancer. Many newspapers spent the summer cleaning house in anticipation—those who haven't may find themselves in a bind.

Previously: MTF WTF
Earlier: MTV Permalance Troops To Attack Holiday Party (With T-Shirts)

The memo distributed with the forms mentions the company "will be transitioning payroll" for its permalancers. "We are including several items in this packet that you will need to complete and hand in to your manager in order to be paid," is about as detailed as the memo gets regarding the 3,982 other changes to the Viacom freelance life.

The actual legalese includes this particularly priceless line: "Moreover, you hereby waveforfeit, relinquish and abandon all rights of attribution and/or integrity that you may have otherwise had with respect to Works." Of course, one thing won't be changing: freelancers still aren't invited to tomorrow's MTV holiday party.

Memo explaining New Start Paperwork to freelance, in-house temp, and project-based employees

To all freelance, in-house temp, and project-based employees:

On December 22, 2007 we will be transitioning payroll for our freelance, in-house temp, and project-based employees to an outside payroll processing company, Cast & Crew. We will no longer be processing payroll in-house. For all work performed on or after December 22, 2007, payroll will be processed through Cast & Crew. If you will be working in late 2007 and/or in 2008, you will need to fill out this new start paperwork to receive paychecks (even if you submitted a "Blue Book" in the past). We will no longer be using the Blue Book.

We are including several items in this packet that you will need to complete and hand in to your manager in order to be paid by Cast & Crew in 2008.

If you will be working for more than one company, you will need to complete and submit new start paperwork for each one. For example: if you will be working for Vh1's production company (namely, New Pop Culture Productions Inc.) as well as MTV's production company (namely, New Remote Productions Inc.), you must fill in start paperwork for both companies. The name of the company (e.g., New Games Productions Inc.) is listed at the top of the forms.

This start packet includes several items:

□ Employee Information Sheet
□ Voluntary Self-Identification Form
□ I-9 Form. Please note the requirement to show documents that verify your identity and eligibility to work (employees must bring in the appropriate documents)
□ W-4 Form
□ IT-2104 (NY employees only) or
□ California Withholding Allowance Form (CA employees only)
□ Direct Deposit Authorization Form
□ Benefits 2008 sheet

There will also be new timesheets, which we will begin to use for work performed as of December 22. These will be distributed under separate cover in December.

We are asking this population to return the completed forms to their hiring managers by Friday, December 7. Then, hiring managers will forward all the packets to Cast & Crew. Feel free to submit paperwork sooner, as well.

Please address any questions to the freelance management email: [redacted]@mtvstaff.com or to the hotline: (212) 846-[redacted].

Thank you all for helping to make this important transition.

Here's how they were planning on telling people: Viacom sends out Christmas party invites to staff, but permalancers have to go pick them up. (Nice caste system.) So when permalancers went to pick up the invites, they were told "go across the table to pick up your new paperwork."

We hear that at least one manager will give his or her permalancers "off the books flex holiday days," but that's not a company initiative by any stretch.

What's more:

Tuition reimbursement is gone. Dental is gone. Commuter pre-tax deductions via WageWorks is gone. The healthcare goes from United Healthcare to Aetna.

Best of all: The company has asked workers to sign the paperwork before they attend the informational session that explains it.

"We've got perks for perks. You go on a company ski trip, and there's this bag for going on the ski trip — it's like the trip was a reward unto itself, right? You know, I got a perk for moving offices — I showed up and there was this box and it had this big red stapler from 'Office Space' in it. It was like, 'Oh, my office moved twice in a quarter.' They don't know where to draw the line."

At the Puck Building last night, then, the crowd was comprised of a rather jaw-dropping list of names—the writers and their patrons both—as well as the anonymous rich, the women identifiable only by their Chanel suits and the men by their horn-rimmed glasses. One tended to overhear conversations that began: "When [so-and-so] was on the board of the New York Public Library..."

At a table in the corner, Mayor Michael Bloomberg chatted with Norman Mailer. Salman Rushdie put on a brave, Padma Lakshmi-less face. Paris Review editor and New Yorker writer Philip Gourevitch mingled, as did his wife, New Yorker writer Larissa MacFarquhar. A frail-looking Joan Didion was surrounded protectively by a shifting coterie of women, as if she might break in two or melt away. Former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld looked none the worse for wear after his embarrassing aborted attempt at running for the governorship of New York. A jeans-clad Dana Vachon spoke to men twice, perhaps three times, his age, presumably about the follies and foibles of The Street. Nathaniel Rich (son of Frank, brother of Simon) is an editor at the magazine, which has a very small masthead. "You've met practically one-third of us," he remarked, in conversation with this reporter and one of the Review's interns. Another reporter was covering the party for the Harvard alumni magazine 02138, on account of so many of the magazine's editors and affiliates having gone to that institution. The Review's late, great founder, George Plimpton, was of course a Harvard man himself, though one can only assume that he, like so many of his fellow Crimson, modestly told people he went to school "in Boston."

Midway through the cocktail hour, Mr. Gourevitch (Cornell, 1986) took the podium to try to quiet down the crowd so the Mayor could say a few words about Norman Mailer, the evening's honoree. "We have a lot in common," the Mayor said, referring to himself and Mr. Mailer. "We're both from middle-class Jewish families. We both attended Harvard—he went to the College, I went to the Business School—and we're both distinsguished authors." Laughter. "And we've both run mayoral campaigns." The Mayor said that Mr. Mailer had had two buttons when he campaigned. One said "I would sleep better if Norman Mailer were mayor." The other said "No more bullshit." Then the Mayor said he had used his senior citizens' Metrocard to get to the affair, and as such, it had only cost him $1. "I suggest that everyone become a senior citizen," he remarked. Much of the crowd, it appeared, already had. A long line of Town Cars idled outside however.

We were not invited to stay for dinner, so on our way out we peeked into one of the gift bags arrayed neatly on a table by the entrance. In a Paris Review tote bag were the Spring issue of the magazine (perhaps partygoers had not yet gotten around to reading it?); a copy one of Mr. Mailer's novels, Harlot's Ghost, which is about the CIA; a Paris Review T-shirt (American Apparel, size large); and various other promotional items (a nip of whiskey, a calendar, etc.). The tote would be perfect to bring along to Nantucket this summer. —Doree

The Paris Review Revel Gallery