While chasing down Benicio del Toro in Hollywood to ask him an inane question, a TMZ reporter inadvertently captured footage of one of the rarest sights in the world of entertainment: Notoriously camera-shy director Terrence Malick.

Is a Rihanna-J. Cole sex tape about to come out? Does Lindsay Lohan really think she is "just like Marilyn" Monroe? Christina Aguilera freaks over a child abuse rumor. Lady Gaga starts a fashion line with her sister. Thursday gossip has lecherous intents.

Bennifer 2.0 has a bun in the oven. Will and Jada Smith might be breaking up. Amy Winehouse's toxicology report is complete. Katie Holmes has a "cupcake emergency." Tuesday gossip struggles to avoid the Kardashians.

Cops bust Kim Kardashian's wedding, but let them eat butt plug cake. Jerry Seinfeld disses child fans. Kimberly Stewart births Benicio del Toro's baby. Chris Rock is a "divo." Monday gossip is black and white and read all over.

Prince Harry censors his "risque anecdotes." Emma Roberts is pursued by two men at the same party. Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson are, metaphorically, sittin' in a tree. Gossipmongers of the world, unite: It's May Day gossip.

Benicio del Toro's publicist, on Rod Stewart daughter and Paris Hilton also-ran Kim Stewart: "Kimberly is pregnant. Benicio is the father and is very supportive. Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby." Good to know. [L&S, images via Getty]

Sulky Stewart feels violated. Jane Lynch marries her girlfriend. Lindsay Lohan gets her wisdom teeth out, and special permission to use painkillers. Before Charlie Sheen enters his plea deal, he's going to Disneyland. Wednesday gossip looks on the bright side.

[The dignified actors at the opening of the Cannes Film Festival, in the south of Freedom; image via Splash]

Love truly conquers all, especially when that love takes the form of a cynically made American rip-off of a far-superior British movie and it stars horrible people like the fellow in this picture. That kind of love is unbeatable.

Hailey Glassman lands the lowest of blows and a terrifying magazine cover. Should Alec Baldwin blame his hospitalization on his ex-wife or his daughter? Suri Cruise wears lipstick. Quentin Tarantino wears out his welcome. TGIFriday gossip.

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

• Madonna's kicked boytoy Jesus Luz to the curb and is thrilled to be single again, reports Britain's Daily Mail based on the things she's been telling fans on Twitter. But as the Times reminds us today, lots of celebs only pretend to use Twitter, so you don't have to give up hope entirely just yet. [DM]
• In…

Mr. Heidi Klum (or Seal, if you prefer) turns 46 today. General Electric chief Jeff Immelt is 53. Jonathan Lethem is turning 45. Sony CEO Howard Stringer is turning 67. New York Times finance reporter Andrew Ross Sorkin is 32. New York art critic Jerry Saltz is 58. Carolyn Maloney is turning 61. Hearst's Ellen Levine…

Give Benicio Del Toro some credit: He's been on the Che World Tour since last May's Cannes premiere, and there are only so many ways to deflect inquiries about his character's mass-murder pastime.

Che is a hit! Kind of! After grossing nearly $250,000 in three weeks — in only two theaters, screening twice a day — IFC Films is literally, unexpectedly taking its "roadshow" version on the road.

Benicio Del Toro deserves credit for a great many things: his Oscar-winning acting, his inspiration to the mushmouthed, and now, for crafting 2009's very first meme.

Steven Soderbergh's four-hour, two part epic Che will screen at next month's New Latin American Film Festival in Havana, reports the New York Post. Since the festival's president had said that any anti-Castro sentiment in the film would be grounds for exclusion back in July, we can assume the finished film skirts the…