Which Arab Leader Just Broke Up With Paris Hilton?

This Oops! screenshot is from the always delightful Page Six Sightings section. It's a little blurb about Paris Hilton's former boyfriend, a fellow named Benji Madden (who actually looks like this). The picture, though, is of a fellow speaking into microphones with Arabic letters behind him (in green! He must be Hamas! Right??). Sadly we couldn't rack our meager brains (and Googles) well enough to name him. Can you please do that for us? Who is this mysterious bespectacled fellow, and why is he being associated with Ms. Hilton?

Paris Hilton Hopes Break Up Doesn't Affect Wedding Plans

• Though they've broken up, social something-or-other Paris Hilton would still like to marry her rock n' roller friend Benji Madden. [Showbiz Spy]
• And screw weddings, says Jennifer Aniston! The Picture Perfect actor has turned down the proposal of her on-again-off-again beau John Mayer. [ShowbizSpy]

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Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving

• Ann Coulter's mouth was literally wired shut. Though the "leggy reactionary" can't talk, it's safe to assume she'd blame liberals. [P6]
• Paris Hilton was booed in a bar, because everyone collectively decided it is now time to viciously tear the starlet down. Just to make sure the last vestiges of dignity were truly eradicated, Hilton tried to win back ex Benji Madden, on the radio.
• Paul McCartney again creepily offered to serenade Michelle Obama. [Sun]
• Jermy Irons will learn to play the Irish fiddle in one of the most adorable and doomed reality shows ever devised. [Daily Star]
• Now that the actresses have all signed on to a second Sex And The City movie, all that's left is for a team of writers to work feverishly to write a non-depressing movie about how these women are STILL ordering cosmos and talking about dating. [Daily Star]
• Suri Cruise loves the paparazzi, and Tom Cruise knows it. [Daily Mail]

Paris Hilton's Breakup Confirmed By Excited AP

Despite her repeated public pronouncements of devotion, it will come as no huge shock to anyone anywhere that Paris Hilton just broke up with her boyfriend of nine months, musician Benji Madden. Even if you weren't up to speed on the latest developments — she was spotted with her Greek, shipping-heir ex and rumored desperately flirty with British princes — you have to figure, well, it's Paris Hilton, whose thirst for attention requires not only the intimate affection of various men but also constant press coverage of how those affections fluctuate. But her breakup is worth noting because the mainstream media seems to buying into her psychodrama like never before! More »

Jennifer Aniston Pregnant?

• Jennifer Aniston is either back with John Mayer and maybe asking for his hand in marriage because of a> "a barrage of romantic emails from him "(Star), b> her pregnancy with his love child just like in those pictures or c> an insatiable need to look insane in the tabloids.
• Madonna wants to ruin Christmas for her children, who do not celebrate Christmas, while Guy Ritchie wants to steal Madonna's money, which he doesn't need, not even to wine and dine his new ladyfriend Kelly Reilly, the actress.
• Henry Kissinger gave a private briefing to 60 plutocrats that was so terrifying he asked all waiters to please leave the room first. It's too late to buy gold bars, but you can probably still get ammunition and anti-radiation medicine. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson and Kevin Connolly may have gone for a swim in dead-guy water. Talk about debauched. [P6]
• Paris Hilton swears she wasn't flirting with either of those British princes, boring American boyfriend. Honest! Just ask yourself, Benji Madden: Does that sound like something she would do? [Daily Star]
• Donald Trump made a promise that may have turned out to be just a publicity stunt. Shocking! As a result, Ed McMahon continues to wonder why someone won't bring an enormous check to his door, just this once. [P6]
• Britney Spears was rumored to be reuniting with the father of her children, but instead she's wearing a ring from her scuzzy paparazzo ex-boyfriend. [Fox News]
• Anne Hathaway said she met a "sexy guy" in LA who is "kind of doing it for me right now." His name is Please Stop Talking About My Convicted Felon Ex-Boyfriend Here Will This Rumor Finally Make You Shut Up? [People]

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Paris Hilton Proves You Can Never Be Too Rich Or Too Thin, But You Can Be Too Stoned

When it comes to values, there is no better role model than Paris Hilton. The heiress has a love for family members rich enough to post bail money, a love of puppies so strong it’s against the law, and a love for makin’ love in da club with other people’s boyfriends. But there are two things Paris cherishes more than anything in her Barbie Dreamhouse of a world: staying skinny and smoking the reefer. Which has recently presented a problem for the heiress with a heart of gold. According to the National Enquirer: More »

Remember The Days When The Last Person Paris Hilton Wanted To Be Was Nicole Richie?

It's tough to remember (or believe) that once upon a time, Nicole Richie was merely Paris Hilton's chubby, recently-rehabbed, dread-locked sidekick. She made a name for herself by starting fights in clubs and providing a crude antidote to the far more glamorous Paris during the first season of The Simple Life. Fast-forward five years later (just like in Lost!); Richie has managed to outshine Hilton's star status not by doing anything in the way of "work," but instead by transforming into a style icon with a fiance and baby to boot. And lately, Paris seems to be doing everything in her power to copy her former lesser half's life, from her choices in fashion and boyfriends to her recent and sudden slim-down. More »

Amy Winehouse's New Man To Solve All Her Problems

Paris Hilton Wants 'Double Wedding' With Frenemy Nicole Richie And Brothers Madden

With news that Paris Hilton is just dying to plan a "double wedding" with Nicole Richie and baby daddy Joel Madden, we've decided that the heiress has a hard time determining what exactly makes for marriage material. Hilton and Madden's brother Benji haven't even announced any engagements via blog post yet, but Paris isn't wasting any time daydreaming about matching hers and Nicole's matching wedding gowns and, if we're lucky, an off-key duet of "Stars Are Blind" sung at the altar by the dual vocal powerhouse that is P&N. But at just 26, just how many times has Paris found the man she plans on spending the rest of her beautiful life with? We took a look back at the modern day Liz Taylor in the making: More »

Only 11 More Drinking Days Until St. Patrick's Day

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Gawker's Week In Review: Oh, Yes, There Will Be Blood

• Lil' Kim ate well in the joint. More »

Soho Stabby

Don Hill's: legendary dive or glitzy underground homo-rock scene? Both, of course, and also a leading exponent of NYC IS (still) EDGY, by way of a brawl and multiple stabbing:

Don Hill, the owner of the club, insisted it's not a violent place and that he hasn't had problems in the past.

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