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New York, 5:10 AM
Thu Dec 17
60 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    12/11/09

    In reply to Meet Jailbird Bernie's New Best Friends
    Popular, eh?

    Does he take out his dentures for an extra swig of pruno?
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of jordos1 jordos1
    12/11/09

    In reply to Meet Jailbird Bernie's New Best Friends
    Yes, Shrimp! What other possible perishable could be as appetizing as those scrumptious sea creatures smuggled to you deep within the colon of a convict.
     Reply
    jordos1 was starred jordos1 was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    It's quite brilliant, when you think of it. Hiring both brothers would be a coup.
    "Sign over $10m with US and get to punch a Madoff in the gut. Sign over $20m and you get one to the face!"

    ...I'd imagine they'd do quite well finding clients in Florida.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    This message brought to you by Richard Pryor for Fire Safety Awareness Month.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Xylo Xylo
    12/10/09

    @scroll_lock: And by Tiger Woods for Trojan Condoms.

    (too obvious?)
     Reply
    Xylo was starred Xylo was unstarred
    Image of Atilla the Bun Atilla the Bun
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    I think Typhoid Mary would have better luck finding a job in health care.
     Reply
    Atilla the Bun was starred Atilla the Bun was unstarred
    Image of once once
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    Somebody should hire them. And rather than spend their salaries on lux vacations or yachts & rockets, they should donate the $ to some people who lost their entire retirement savings w/ Bernie's ponzi scheme. Even if they didn't know then, they know now. They have plenty of $ to survive & you bet they have some tucked away in offshore accounts.
     Reply
    once was starred once was unstarred
    Image of Charlotte Rae's Web Charlotte Rae's Web
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    Expertees? Is that a really smart shirt? Does it go with your smarty pants?
     Reply
    BettyCrocker promoted this comment Edited by Charlotte Rae's Web at 12/10/09 10:16 AM Charlotte Rae's Web was starred Charlotte Rae's Web was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/10/09

    @Charlotte Rae's Web: Tardy To The Smarty?
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    You'll know if they get hired someplace. You'll see the compliance officer on a midtown sidewalk with a chalk outline around his splattered remains, while 40 stories above, scraps of synthetic curtains flutter from a hole in the shattered glass.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    Magical Retard Thomas Friedman says:

    Last week I was visiting the estate of a friend of mine in the foothills of the Szechuan province of China. It was just me, my buddy Chin, the head of a powerful European magazine chain, a hyperintelligent dog and the sons of Bernie Madoff.

    Mark turned to me and said, through a haze of mucous and tear dops as fat as pearl onione "Tommy, why did my father bring me to work at a crooked investment firm". I kissed his sweet mouth with my rough and stable moustache and then suddenly thought: "Oh my god. Crooked. The world is crooked."

    Now I've been saying the world is flat for a long time. Then I said it's hot and crowded as well as being flat. Then there was that thing about bubbles, and I was racist for a while against the dirty A-Rabs (I'm better now). But in this hot, flat, crowded, bubbling racist world of interconnection and funny-smelling ethnicities, somehow I was always missing an element.

    That element is.... "crookosity". Crookosity admixes with the flatness of the world. Since it's so hot, the flat world bends easily. The interconnectedness of digital life means that the bending of our flat world brings us closer together. This crookosity allows us to move closer together on a flat plane. Oh, and the plain is bumpy with bubbles. Don't forget that.

    "But Tommy," you'd say "how does this accord with your status as a Green Hawk, always looking towards the future of the world, always caring about the destiny of manking. You're a goddamn, fucking visionary."

    "Thank you, Senor Lopez" I'd say, forgetting your name and ethnicity as I slipped you fifty bucks. "As a Green Hawk I have to say that crookosity is what will lead us both into green technology and further into Iraq." Bear with me: We as Americans have a god-given right to imagine the world as we see fit. Iraq is a desolate place responsible for 105% of the world's terrorism bubbles. When the world was flattened, and bubbled, they were separate. But with crookosity bending the flat world, we can connect them.

    It's clear: We must raze Iraq and in its place build solar panels.

    Mark Madoff, good luck to you my muse.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of resipsaloquacious resipsaloquacious
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II:

    Wormholes, man.
     Reply
    resipsaloquacious was starred resipsaloquacious was unstarred
    Image of forwardmotion forwardmotion
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Speechless. Brilliant!
     Reply
    forwardmotion was starred forwardmotion was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    12/10/09

    @forwardmotion: Haha. Thanks. I have another one waiting in my gmail account. I sent it to gabe once when he asked for it, but didn't hear anything about it, so I'll post it here when the time is right.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: (ovation).
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Towards the end I slipped into a state where I was inclined to believe anything you said. I got better. Please promise to only to use your powers for good.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of The Real JR The Real JR
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: I'm hugging you with my mind.
     Reply
    The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred
    Image of filthy tongue filthy tongue
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: This is why I hearted you. Well done, sir.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II promoted this comment filthy tongue was starred filthy tongue was unstarred
    Image of Xylo Xylo
    12/10/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Have you seen Friedman get hit by a pie? [www.spike.com]
     Reply
    Xylo was starred Xylo was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    My new firm, Ponzi, Morse and Barnum, would be interested in bringing them in for an interview.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    I always got the feeling the Madoff sons really didn't know anything. Ruth on the other hand probably knew everything except the affairs.
     Reply
    fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    12/10/09

    @fatmonalisa: Whether they knew or not is not going influence potential employers. The name Madoff connotes deception. Plus, there will always be those who think because they didn't know, Madoff's sons are schmucks. Ignorance is not bliss.
     Reply
    momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    12/10/09

    @momof3wildkids: Yeah they seem pretty schmucky. They'd have more luck getting jobs at a bush league hedgefund like Alterama.
     Reply
    fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    12/10/09

    @fatmonalisa: They would have a lot more luck if they changed their names...
     Reply
    momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    12/10/09

    @momof3wildkids: True! But hedge funds are big on having rogues work for them. Also, they both probably have enough cash to start their own fund.
     Reply
    fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    12/10/09

    @fatmonalisa: My hubby has his own hedge fund. The financial cowboy days are over. Before anyone give him new money now, they practically do a proctology exam on him and his employees. A Madoff employee would not pass muster.

    Back office, maybe. But would you want a Madoff working your books? Not me.
     Reply
    Edited by momof3wildkids at 12/10/09 9:44 AM momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of Atilla the Bun Atilla the Bun
    12/10/09

    @momof3wildkids: Or entered the witless protection program. Oh sorry, too early in the day for terrible puns...
     Reply
    Atilla the Bun was starred Atilla the Bun was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    12/10/09

    In reply to Madoff's Sons are Looking for Finance Jobs
    Optimism? More like delusion. These guys are untouchables.
     Reply
    momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of BlinkyMcChuck BlinkyMcChuck
    11/15/09

    In reply to Inside the Bernie Madoff Tchotchke Auction
    I'm just wondering meanwhile if Ruth wore the Benz necklace or if Bernie did. #berniemadoff
     Reply
    BlinkyMcChuck was starred BlinkyMcChuck was unstarred
    Image of destor23 destor23
    11/15/09

    In reply to Inside the Bernie Madoff Tchotchke Auction
    Look in the pocket of the jacket and there's an account number for a bank in Turks and Caicos. There you'll find the real Madoff stuff... #berniemadoff
     Reply
    Hunter Walker promoted this comment destor23 was starred destor23 was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    11/15/09

    In reply to Inside the Bernie Madoff Tchotchke Auction
    I'm pretty sure you can get a team jacket with any name you want on it for a couple hundred bucks. I'm gonna get one that says "DAHMER". #berniemadoff
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
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