Bristol Palin's reality series Life's A Tripp premieres tonight on Lifetime (early reviews call it "dull" and "depressing," but note that her son is cute), and still, the public's ravenous appetite for observing the lesser members of the Palin family in reality television settings remains unsatisfied.

Former Real Housewife of New York and alcoholic diet potion impresario Bethenny Frankel won't be on TV. Well, she won't be on any more TVs. OK, she still has her Bravo show, but no one wants her on any more. Her talk show got the axe before it could even get started.

J.Lo was getting dirty in public with her new 20-something boytoy. Oscar de la Hoya likes it in the butt. Bethenny Frankel's cocktail may not be as pure as she thinks. Robert Wagner thought Natalie Wood was messing around the night she died. Monday's gossip lost its virginity a long time ago.

The celebrities have begun trickling out of their castles, mansions, and forest lairs to host or hit up Halloween parties, collect their high-calorie holiday booty, and inspire jealousy-driven shut-ins like us to mock their outfits.

Every time someone asked Bethenny Frankel if she sold her Skinnygirl Cocktails for $120 million, she just smiled and said, "I can't say." Well, Beam Inc., which bought her company, had to say in an SEC filing. Turns out it only paid $8 million for her business.

Remember the crazy tale of Bethenny Frankel, her husband, some friends, and a Bravo camera crew going for a three (OK, eight) hour boat tour and being lost at sea for 20 hours. Too crazy to be true, right? Well, now one of her rescuers is claiming it was all staged.

Alexis Stewart drops a bombshell: She has seen her mother pee, and it was disturbing. Elizabeth Hurley gets engaged. James Marsden gets divorced. Joseph Gordon-Levitt ruminates on the relative sexiness of slaves. Monday gossip has mommy issues.

Bethenny drifts for 20 hours with no land in sight. Lea Michele is single. Lindsay Lohan's "shady" hotel rendezvous photographed. Entourage guy says he didn't turn Jane Lynch gay. Tuesday gossip is afraid of water.

Ray J wants to "protect his rights"—his sex tape rights! Billie Joe Armstrong get kicked off a plane. Sandra Oh gets her identity stolen. And Pippa Middleton maybe got a parking ticket. Saturday gossip is here, and ready to explain why its boobs are weird.

Yuppie haven Whole Foods has yanked reality star Bethenny Frankel's $120 million concoction, the Skinnygirl Margarita, from the shelves because one of the ingredients might cause cancer. And now Bethenny is on the attack.

JWOWW's ex says she attacked him with a steak knife and a fireplace poker. Beyonce wears stilettos at a Disney theme park. LeAnn Rimes is happy with her homewrecker marriage. Charlie Sheen gives to charity. It's time for TGIFriday gossip.

Glee's resident divo Chris Colfer is proving Time magazine right by bulking up his Hollywood resume. Also today: Bethenny Frankel is very rich and Jimmy Fallon is well on his way, too bad Sean Penn will probably come along and rob them.

On Wendy Williams, Bethenny Frankel shares her experience when out socializing with the Atlanta Housewives. Also, she squashes rumors about the other ladies being jealous of her success after leaving the New York Housewives cast.

Apparently Chris Brown, bellicose pop star, still has plenty of fans. Also today: the return of Dana Delaney and Nancy Travis makes us feel like it's 1994 all over again, Bryan Cranston gets a major role, and Kyle Chandler mulls his next move.

Bethenny wanted to learn more about her nanny's Trinidadian roots so she and her baby accompanied the nanny to her church. Little did Bethany know her child was about to get baptized under a new religion.

Camille Grammer, the former scratch post of Kelsey Grammer and one of the Real Househarpies of Beverly Hills, will be anchoring CNN's red carpet coverage at the Oscars. Next they'll be sending Bethanny Frankel to cover the Libyan revolution.

What do Bethenny Frankel and Vince Neil have in common? They are both going to be on Skating With The Stars! Watch this promo for Tattoos and Tequila, on ice, with a shot of Sean Young on the side. Wow.

[Dog whisperer Bethenny Frankel gets some advice from her four-legged friend Cookie today while filming her silly reality show "Bethenny Getting Married?" in SoHo. Image via Splash]

Our favorite Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel shrilly carries on about "government-issued tampons" and swiping sugar packets and water bottles to prove her penchant for frugality on the Nate Berkus Show. It kind of sounds like she's heading toward kleptomania...