Welcome to "Wake up on the Right Side with Sarah and Ann!" Today will be joined by Larry the Cable guy, hot purity-jewlry fashion designer Todd Lamountaigne, and as a part of our "Scold into Submission" series, we'll have on a group of pregnant inner-city teenagers.

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Although a Nome man is an island.

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[gawker.com]

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When I was asked to write this, I picked up a pen and started scribbling, right there, on the 3" x 3" cocktail napkin on the bar at the airport in Anchorage. It was cold outside, man, the kind of cold that heat only dreams about. And there were airplanes, but no seagulls. So the sky was safe. For now.

I was in Sarah's home state, where they get cell phone service, they do. And that day, I got the call, from Simon & Schuster, asking me to write this, so I did, agreeing that at the very least, the subject of the semi-autobiographical book was and is a historical figure, that's right I said a historical, bitches, because an historical is wrong, and you know it, otherwise the proofers and the 17 editors that will have been assigned to pick through this mutha would've changed the "a" to "an" so live with it, bitches, yeah I said that too.

So here's the foreword. And every bit of it is true. Now give me my honorarium.

Herbal essences,

James Frey

Former Gawker intern

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