Sarah should team up with Ann coulter for an hour-long 10am chat show on Fox News. It could be like fourth hour of The Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee, but you know, more hate-fucky.
Welcome to "Wake up on the Right Side with Sarah and Ann!" Today will be joined by Larry the Cable guy, hot purity-jewlry fashion designer Todd Lamountaigne, and as a part of our "Scold into Submission" series, we'll have on a group of pregnant inner-city teenagers.
She's going into intesive study for the hiring of a ghostwriter. Before she "writes" a book, she is determined to actually read one. It's all right; Alaska has always been on autopilot anyway.
@Gabriel Snyder: I finally figured that out when I could see listed on the post page that there were 15 or so comments but clicking on "read comments" (or whatever it says) just got me the comment box. Also, I was executed once for too many personal anecdotes and got paranoid. But I'm pissed about this Wasilla thing. I want my drivel out of her library.
When I was asked to write this, I picked up a pen and started scribbling, right there, on the 3" x 3" cocktail napkin on the bar at the airport in Anchorage. It was cold outside, man, the kind of cold that heat only dreams about. And there were airplanes, but no seagulls. So the sky was safe. For now.
I was in Sarah's home state, where they get cell phone service, they do. And that day, I got the call, from Simon & Schuster, asking me to write this, so I did, agreeing that at the very least, the subject of the semi-autobiographical book was and is a historical figure, that's right I said a historical, bitches, because an historical is wrong, and you know it, otherwise the proofers and the 17 editors that will have been assigned to pick through this mutha would've changed the "a" to "an" so live with it, bitches, yeah I said that too.
So here's the foreword. And every bit of it is true. Now give me my honorarium.
Let's go hunting! But sometimes it's too cold outside, you know, so I just stay inside, bust out the old NES, and git mah "Duck Hunt" on! Now please enjoy the next seven pages of pictures of me playing "Duck Hunt"! Thank God for filler.
I wanted to call this chapter "McCain-y And Me" but I thought it would make a lousy movie title! Oooooh, plus John, I think he doesn't like me anymore, does he Greta Van Susteren? Oh right, this is my book, not yours, you get out of here and stop being silly right now, Greta Van Susteren! Make me an egg white omelet!
I miss almost being Vice president. And the scent of Seth Meyers's cologne on the set of Saturday Night Live. And whatever happened to Tina Fey? I last saw her at the Tonys! Or was that the Emmys? Oh my, those award shows get me confused, my favorite are the People's Choice, because the people almost sent me to Washington! Darn you Katie Couric, you could've made me egg white omelets in the Lincoln Bedroom!
01/22/09
Welcome to "Wake up on the Right Side with Sarah and Ann!" Today will be joined by Larry the Cable guy, hot purity-jewlry fashion designer Todd Lamountaigne, and as a part of our "Scold into Submission" series, we'll have on a group of pregnant inner-city teenagers.
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"Hey, I'm writin' so much already, what's one more, y'all!"
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Although a Nome man is an island.
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[gawker.com]
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When I was asked to write this, I picked up a pen and started scribbling, right there, on the 3" x 3" cocktail napkin on the bar at the airport in Anchorage. It was cold outside, man, the kind of cold that heat only dreams about. And there were airplanes, but no seagulls. So the sky was safe. For now.
I was in Sarah's home state, where they get cell phone service, they do. And that day, I got the call, from Simon & Schuster, asking me to write this, so I did, agreeing that at the very least, the subject of the semi-autobiographical book was and is a historical figure, that's right I said a historical, bitches, because an historical is wrong, and you know it, otherwise the proofers and the 17 editors that will have been assigned to pick through this mutha would've changed the "a" to "an" so live with it, bitches, yeah I said that too.
So here's the foreword. And every bit of it is true. Now give me my honorarium.
Herbal essences,
James Frey
Former Gawker intern
01/22/09
CHAPTER ONE
I'm a-scared. The youth of today, they put pancakes on my head!
01/22/09
CHAPTER TWO
Let's go hunting! But sometimes it's too cold outside, you know, so I just stay inside, bust out the old NES, and git mah "Duck Hunt" on! Now please enjoy the next seven pages of pictures of me playing "Duck Hunt"! Thank God for filler.
01/22/09
CHAPTER THREE
I wanted to call this chapter "McCain-y And Me" but I thought it would make a lousy movie title! Oooooh, plus John, I think he doesn't like me anymore, does he Greta Van Susteren? Oh right, this is my book, not yours, you get out of here and stop being silly right now, Greta Van Susteren! Make me an egg white omelet!
01/22/09
CHAPTER FOUR
I wish CodePink would right my book. Oh my, did I just right right? Or write right? I'm a member of the write! Write? Oh, dear. I'm not too bwrite.
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CHAPTER FIVE
I miss almost being Vice president. And the scent of Seth Meyers's cologne on the set of Saturday Night Live. And whatever happened to Tina Fey? I last saw her at the Tonys! Or was that the Emmys? Oh my, those award shows get me confused, my favorite are the People's Choice, because the people almost sent me to Washington! Darn you Katie Couric, you could've made me egg white omelets in the Lincoln Bedroom!
01/22/09
01/22/09