The judge handling the Lindsay Lohan case forces her to clean up after dead bodies. Rihanna settles a lawsuit with the photographer she ripped off. Demi Moore is too damn skinny and Kellan Lutz comes out (as straight). Wednesday's gossip is calling in sick.
• The Casey Johnson saga continues: Yesterday, Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips, both of whom were pals of the late heiress, showed up at Tila Tequila's house to take possession of Casey's two dogs. A screaming fight ensued, and the police had to be called in to mediate, since Tequila claimed the two women were…
After Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips rescued Casey Johnson's dogs and fur coats from a braless, press-friendly Tila Tequila, the webcam star wept, accused them of killing puppies, and tweeted vows of revenge. Mulholland Drive on Meth keeps getting messier.
Born into the Johnson & Johnson clan's billions, Casey Johnson was among the first celebutantes to decamp to Hollywood in search of 21C fame. She died alone in a crumbling Mulholland Drive mansion, her body undiscovered for days.
Carrie Prejean is horrifed by Shauna Sand's attempt to inspire her; Bijou Phillips' incest movie was a lot less creepy before Mackenzie wrote that book; 50 Cent has some tattoos removed. Et voila, Wednesday's gossip!
• Friends worry Jessica Simpson is "at the lowest point of her life" now that she's lost her beloved dog, Daisy. Others say she's coping "better than her friends may realize." Either way, we she's probably feeling much better now that her friends are sharing her innermost feelings with the tabloids. [People]
• The…
MSNBC's Rachel Maddow is turning 36 today. A man Maddow probably isn't very fond of, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, is turning 59. Movie director Barry Sonnenfeld is 56. Actress/scenester Bijou Phillips is turning 29. Debbie Reynolds is 77. Actress Ali MacGraw is 71. Method Man is 38. And everyone's favorite…
• Carson Daly has two reasons to get wasted today: It's St. Patrick's Day, of course. Plus he and his girlfriend Siri Pinter are new parents, too. [People]
• Jon Stewart's secret weapon in his rumble with Jim Cramer last week? His brother, Larry Leibowitz, is a senior exec at NYSE Euronext. [P6]
• A judge recalled…
• Star Jones is allegedly out at the View — in fact, Rosie O'Donnell's arrival was conditional on Jones' departure, a demand Barbara Walters was all too happy to meet. We don't know whether to be happy or sad. On one hand, we won't have to look at Star's melting face anymore; on the other, now we'll never get to see…
Good news abounds! It's come to our attention that Bijou Phillips has abandoned her former hobbies of stabbing and hair-pulling in favor of a more peaceful life of nip-slipping. If you dare click the picture at right (NSFW and disturbingly high-res), you'll see that Bijou's nip bears none of the visible disfiguration
· Viacom whip-wielder Les Moonves and Early Show co-host Julie Chen are reportedly marrying in Mexico this weekend. The staff at Brite Smile will act as groomsmen, we assume. [Page Six]
· Playmate Nicole Lenz has repaired her "friendship" with violent party-girl Bijou Phillips, but heiress Casey Johnson isn't so…
Bijou, Bijou, Bijou! So much to say, so little time. The beloved stabbing party girl (and occasional actress, we hear) is gracing this month's cover of Nylon. Some pearls of wisdom on insanity:
—The fearless, fashion-lashing gals at Go Fug Yourself take on fugtastic wild child Bijou Phillips—and Bijou never stood a chance. Good luck picking her handbag out your asses should your paths cross at a party, ladies!
—Before we ever sat down at the computer today, we just *knew* that Lionel Richie's ex-wife was…
