Maher cites the CDC website that shows ingredients of the vaccine including aluminum, insect repellent, and formaldehyde, which, incidentally can all be found in the Playboy mansion grotto that Maher's known to frequent.

Maher went on to connect the dots to other procedures we now know are dangerous, like filling teeth with mercury. Without skipping a beat, in response to Maher's question as to if he ever had his teeth filled with mercury, Alec Baldwin deadpanned, "Yeah, that's why I became an actor."

Chris Matthews asked Maher why he's talking about this, Maher countered that he's just trying to have the debate. But Maher already had the debate last week with Bill Frist and was trying to use the panel to air out his grievances. Baldwin wasn't having it "Bill, you having us on the show and rehashing all the problems you got into on your last show is like going on a date and talking about your ex-wife." leaving Maher with a perfect softball to toss back to Baldwin who left himself wide open saying "Maybe we can talk about your past problems."

A 60 Minutes report by correspondent Scott Pelley revealed a demographic most susceptible to the H1N1 virus. "This is one of the really tragic parts of this epidemic. That people who are in the prime of their life - totally healthy can suddenly become so sick,"

If it wasn't bad enough that boomers left them with one of the worst economies in 50 years, The Youngs now have an epidemic with a target placed squarely on their messenger bag-carrying backs. Why does the virus have such age discrimination? Dr. Peter Palese of Mt. Sinai Medical Center in New York told 60 Minutes that older folks have built up a immunity from viruses lingering from the 1940s they came in contact with.

Will the vaccine kill you? Only one way to find out.

So, Leno—who still has a bitter rivalry with Letterman, even in a different time slot—clearly had to seize upon the opportunity to get at his former head-to-head rival. He looks to have enjoyed himself:

Jimmy Fallon got to take his first big shot at some of his Late Night competition. "There's a new book out called Why Women Have Sex that has a list of the 237 reasons why women have sex...and Letterman knows the top ten," he cracked. Skip to 3:03 for the magic moment.

And Bill Maher got one in, too. Via EW:

And on Real Time with Bill Maher, Maher said, "I've never had sex with members of my staff - the guests, yes, of course, but not the staff." He also said, "Hey, next to Roman Polanski and Mackenzie Phillips' dad, I think Dave looks pretty good."

Late night hosts: still assholes, all of 'em, except for Conan, who abstained, and Craig Ferguson, who taped on Thursday night. They almost could've done better, you know? It'd seem likely that the next best thing to a presidential scandal in the pantheon of inspiration for late night material should be another late night host's sex scandal. Guess not. In the great tradition of comedians roasting each other, you'd think they'd be able to produce something slightly better than Fallon's joke, of all people. And don't Maher and Leno's quotes—without reading too deeply into them—seem a little defensive? Either way, Letterman can't leave this thing looking too bad. He had to come clean and he did, though the truly surreal revelation that he didn't alert much of the production staff to what was about to happen just adds on to the strange nature of all of this. When's Paul Schaffer gonna freak the fuck out? That'll be the day.

• Everyone loves Neil Patrick Harris. And how could they not? He came out singing cabaret and danced away with our undying love. Not that he didn't have it before. After this evening's turn as the show's host, we're pretty sure Harris should master the ceremonies of every Hollywood event ever. (By the way, Mediaite has the lyrics from the introductory number. Learn them. Live them. Love them.)
  
  
• Kristin Chenoweth will soon be the hardest working woman in Hollywood. The adorable actress — once known mostly to the Broadway crowd — stole the nation's heart by crying after winning best supporting actress for Pushing Daisies. The show's been canceled and Chenoweth, bless her, reminded the world that she needs a job: "I'm unemployed now, so I'd like to be on Mad Men. I also like The Office and 24."
  
  
• Tina Fey fans are upset that Toni Collette won the "best comedy actress" award for United States of Tara, which we actually enjoy. Well, Jeff Jarvis is upset, at least: the journalist and internet aficionado twittered, "best comedy actress was a crime." But, whatever, because Fey won for her SNL Sarah Palin impersonation.
  
  
• In other-SNL news, Justin Timberlake took home a trophy for his "Dick in a Box" routine. But that was announced last week, so hopefully you knew that.
  
  
• Sure, Fey didn't win, but that doesn't mean the Academy doesn't still love 30 Rock: the incredibly popular show won "best comedy series" and Alec Baldwin walked away with a "best actor" statuette. That's his second, for the record.
  
  
• Speaking of seconds: Mad Men again won "best drama series" and best writing for a drama series. Does this mean the show will continue to be a popular culture darling? Not if you ask Matthew Greenberg from True Slant — he thinks the consecutive win will alienate those who don't already watch it, because they'll think it's elitist.
  
  
• If Greenberg's right, there could also be a backlash against Glenn Close: the Damages star once again won for "best actress" in a drama series.
  
  
• Comedy Central's no doubt pleased with Jon Stewart and the Daily Show crew: they won "best writing" for a comedy, variety, etc series. And, yes, Stewart commended Neil's hosting abilities. He also made a joke about going backstage to watch football, which was competing on another network and became the butt of many tiresome jokes.
  
  
• LA Times writer Tom O'Neil has crowned Bill Maher the biggest Emmy loser in history because Maher, whose show was nominated in the aforementioned variety category, has lost 22 times over the course of his career.
  
  
• Remember how we said Harris should host everything? He may have some competition from Hugh Jackman, who won for original music for his Oscar dance routine.
  
  
• Hey, did you know Sarah McLachlan's still around? And she's still singing "I Will Remember You." While, yes, we should take a moment to recognize the departed — Bea Arthur! — certainly there's a less maudlin, predictable soundtrack.
  
  
• And on that note, here's a list of the winners.

You see, everyone always talks about how Wintour's a raging bitch and condescending and all of that bad stuff, which, we're sure, is all true. That said, she was actually quite pleasant on the program. Sure, she was a bit rude when taking a jab at Letterman's socks and suggesting he buy Thom Browne suits, but she actually came off as human! She was engaged, she smiled (those teeth!) and even cracked a few jokes, many self-deprecating, a tactic not without its charm. She could have been much, much worse, we're sure.

For all of the shit that's talked about her, though, she did go on a program whose viewers she would most likely rather spit on than look at, but that's beside the point. She humbled herself in a way. Yes, it was self-serving, but what do you want from the woman? She's a fashion editor, not Mother Teresa. And that's fine by us. The world needs someone like her: a walking caricature who lives up to the bad press and loves every second of it. (You know she does.)

Bottom line: everyone won on this one. Wintour proved she has an almost approachable personality and can relate to — or at least tolerate — the masses, while Letterman received oodles of press and, we're assuming, a boost in ratings. Take that, Conan O'Brien!

At first glance you'd think that this utterly hilarious compilation, featuring the music of a black man renowned for on-camera golden showers and statutory rape, was a parody made by Keith Olbermann or Bill Maher's staffs, but it was actually put together and posted to the web this morning by the delusional wingnuts who run the Conservatives4Palin website. Prepare to be mesmerized.

You know, it was just Brian "Reggie" Kilmeade, Gretchen "Big Ethel" Carlson, and Steve "Miss Beazley" Doocy saying that Bill Maher thinks Americans are dumb for liking Sarah Palin. See, Sarah Palin is just like "regular folks" and blah blah blah forever and ever with this awful, annoying party line.

I hate to tell you guys, but you are not regular Americans. Not a single tax-payin' one of you. And these animate honeydew melons want their audience to know that. Though it's all trickery and silliness, because they're not regular Americans either. These rich, New York-dwelling TV toucans are just putting on their lame little show to make money, inadvertently ruining America one gurgling syllable at a time.

Sigh. That said, it's really funny! How Gretchen gets her concerned Issues face. How Steve Doocy chuckles at his own idiocy. How Bri-Bri Kilmickles just plays Short Round's scenes from Temple of Doom over and over in his head on an endless loop. Here's the dumb fatty brain of America, you Saab-driving irregulars! Fear it and love it. Cherish it and destroy it.

For my part, I'll be that dot you see, running into the hills. Receding on the horizon, on and on and on, until I cannot hear their voices anymore.

These days, everyone in Hollywood and politics is on message all the time and media trained within an inch of their lives. Thank God there are a few people who are too washed up, too stupid, or too crazy not to give a rat's ass what they're told to say. Isn't that what makes life interesting?

The Jackson flap wasn't Rupert's first time at the rodeo. He recently got attention for discussing Graydon Carter's sexual proclivities as well as saying that gays shouldn't have children. Oh, and his book calls Julia Roberts "tinged with madness" and Sharon Stone "utterly unhinged."
Bill Maher was infamously fired from his talk show "Politically Incorrect" for saying that the 9/11 terrorists were "brave." Thankfully HBO is crazy enough to give the man his own show where he is one of President Obama's first liberal critics, even saying he wishes Barack were more like George W. Bush. "If Bush could go to war in Iraq when nobody was thinking about it, how come this president can't get through something like health care reform in a way that the people really want when people are actually for it," he spouted off recently.
For a skinny blond lady, Ann Coulter sure talkes a lot about death and violence, usually wishing both on the "liberals" she's made a career of threatening. Her nadir came during the campaign when she called John Edwards a "faggot." We may think she's a loon, but at least she speaks her mind.
Kathy Griffin said "dick" during a live broadcast on CNN. Yes, absolutely no restraint.
The latest addition to the "say anything" club, Megan Fox, while already the sexiest, is also our new favorite. When she's not saying she's a tranny or dissing on Scarlett Johansson for being affected, she's talking about how women in Hollywood are objects. Our fingers are crossed that her career lasts long enough for her to have more unfiltered comments to share.

• John Mayer supposedly broke up with Jennifer Aniston. Again. It was just, you know, time: Aniston had just come back from Europe; Mayer had put in his anti-Brangelina bodyguard duty at the Oscars; and if super-mature people like Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel can't make a dating sequel work, can anyone? (The "He's Just Not Into Her" headlines will never cease, btw.) [E!]
  
• First Tina Fey called Robert Pattinson a "sexy devil," now Pattson says Fey "is, like, the sexiest woman." [The Improper via Gatecrasher]
  
• Chris Brown is really mad at his management and PR team for not letting him apologize to Rihanna sooner and is about to cut them loose. Which is saying something, since the singer is normally known for keeping his anger in check. [P6]
  
• Rihanna, meanwhile, is under business pressure not to take Brown back. [Ibid, bottom]
• Dear National Enquirer, I am still alive and the treatments are actually going pretty well, except it kind of sucks I had to spend the better part of Wednesday telling the rest of the press I am not staring into the the eyes of "THE END." Yours, Patrick Swayze. [People]
• Conservative pundit Jonah Goldberg does not appreciate Bill Maher stealing his genius George W. Bush putdowns. "Spending money like a pimp" is HIS and Goldberg will be damned if he'll have her cavorting with libtard pundits without his permission. [P6]
• Nickelodeon now claims Chris Brown removed himself from the Kids Choice Awards. Whatever. Like he'd let go of that brass ring voluntarily. [Scoop]

CNBC pulled reporter Rick Santelli, infamous for a blame-ordinary-Americans rant, from Jon Stewart's Daily Show, saying the network had "moved on" to the next story. Burnett's appearance, though, was clearly a damage-control effort. And it may well have succeeded: Burnett is so much more watchable, viewers may not notice that she's saying the exact same noisome things Santelli said, in more palatable form.

"It wasn't just Wall Street, it was everybody," Burnett went on to say, insisting that we shouldn't "soak" the rich with higher taxes. Why? Because they'd already taken such a hit from Wall Street's meltdown.

"If you're looking to TV commentators to solve our problems, you're looking in the wrong place," says Obama-esque Newark mayor Cory Booker. He's got that much right.

"The exception you'll see, the Mumbai bombing, some of the best reporting was bloggers," says Newsom. Oh, Gavin! We think San Francisco's hunky god-mayor could have picked a far better example — like, say, that time a blogger in his own city scooped all of the local newspapers and television stations on the news of Newsom's impending fatherhood.

Some examples:

Bill Maher: Execute them!

The HBO talk-show host said he would like to see two bankers executed: Former Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld, for earning $500 million in compensation before the company folded, and Bernie Madoff, for scamming rich people like Fuld. China does this sort of thing, you see, and it would serve as a warning to others. Maher's "Death to Moochy" segment might habe been half in jest, but Maher left no doubt he was at least partly serious.

London's 'Summer of Rage'

In London, financial services once accounted for close to 40 percent of economic output but is now in tattetrs. Fierce economic demonstrations have racked nearby Iceland, and around 1 million recently turned out to protest in France. Meanwhile, the G20 will soon come to town for an economic summit. So it's no wonder police are gearing up for the sort of rioting Britain hasn't seen in more than two decades. Who knows, maybe Gotham will follow suit.

Bankers more despised, less cool than Congress, somehow

Rep. Barney Frank: "People really hate you, and they're starting to hate us because we're hanging out with you... [you] need to avoid being stupid." When a Congressman is calling you uncool, unpopular and stupid, something has gone horribly wrong. It takes a lot to make people hate some particular group more than Congress. This is a clear a sign as any that the masses are gathering their pitchforks.

Bankers did more than their fair share to get us into this mess. They turned a blind eye to lying mortgage brokers. They kept doubling down on leverage bets they knew (or should have known) would eventually turn sour. They got personally rich through their ineptitude. And some of them have the revolting audacity to demand the government reinstate that wealth while the poor rot.

But the bankers did not act alone. Journalists celebrated them. Politicians pandered to them. And a good many people who knew, or should have known, what they were getting into borrowed from them.

Despicable bankers should not be strung up, nor should we burn out cities down trying to do so. But they shouldn't get off lightly.

Those bankers managing taxpayer money — most of them — deserve government salaries. Excess compensation should aggressively be grabbed back through every available legal channel.

And the financial leaders responsible for the meltdown should be forced to actually learn their trade, starting at the call centers that deal with their customers and continuing through a variety of clerical and middle-management positions at low-salary state banks. (If you've got a better idea, we trust you'll leave it in the comments.)

The network's attempt to qualify the film for Oscar consideration — by burying it for a week in the farthest reaches of L.A. and Manhattan — denied it the "true release" Academy voters are fond of; a later theatrical run grossed less than $60,000 and hastened its fade from Oscar consideration. Religulous pulled the same stunt prior to premiering at Toronto in September; it fared better with Lionsgate behind it, earning $12.5 million since its release Oct. 1.

But that's about all the gold it'll get. On the bright side, Werner Herzog is a step closer to his first Oscar nomination; the Bavarian maverick was shortlisted for his quirky Antarctic adventure Encounters at the End of the World. Any fan of his jilted 2005 classic Grizzly Man will agree justice delayed remains justice denied, but every bit helps. He'll face old pal and '04 winner Errol Morris, whose Iraq doc Standard Operating Procedure was shortlisted as well and whose vying against Herzog for an Oscar is itself the surreal, cerebral stuff of a feature-length doc in the making. Or at least we hope so; those guys film everything.

• Oscar's feature doc list down to 15 [THR]

The plodding pace of Huffington's delivery was at least as tough on viewers as her accent, but her pronunciation was, admittedly, often odd, and also often kind of hilarious: "Connect-icuit," "Philly-buster," "Newer mayor" (for "Newark mayor") and, best of all, "the biggest wiener of the election season." (They're all in the clip above.)

Huffington did make the most of her Greek background in the last minute of the show, when she talked about her kids' "ya ya" (that's for grandmother, mind you!) and life in Athens. (That's also in the clip above.) But going forward she should probably stick to guesting — or hire a voice coach.

Also noteworthy: Huffington's especially warm chat with rumored sometime rumored lover Cory Booker, the Newark mayor. Watch their eyes (and notice Booker's effusive compliment) in the clip below.

You could make an argument either way (and believe us — people are), but Lionsgate never left much doubt that it would obtain the top-doc spot sooner or later. Yet while it's never been on more than half as many screens as Expelled — 568 to 1,062 — Religulous had the compounded advantages of a Toronto Film Fest launch, Maher tearing up Sherri Shepherd and anyone who would sit still for him on national TV, aggressive, conspicuous marketing, and a furtive NYC/LA residency to help qualify for its forthcoming Oscar nod. In the end, all that topping Expelled means this weekend is that Lionsgate's $3 million diatribe might break even earlier than expected.

Expelled's budget was about the same, but stunned observers by finishing in the top 10 its opening weekend with little more than a grassroots push by the marketers who brought you The Passion of the Christ and other Christian-themed hits. Among them, Kirk Cameron's Fireproof carried the baton into fall with $17.2 million in less than three weeks. All due respect to Maher and Co., but that might be the long-term business to be in during bleak industry patches like this. Just avoid chihuahuas — you can't lose.

• Nothing ridiculous about 'Religulous' grosses [LAT]

WHAT'S NEW: This is the week we've been waiting for since May, when Disney ignored our urgent plea to immediately release Beverly Hills Chihuahua from its high-camp captivity. And now that it's here, we're kind of over it; blame it on last month's chihuahua-only sneak preview. Not like the sadists at Disney need us: BHC is this week's only new family release and will do business accordingly, setting up for around $32.3 million over the three-day. The Michael Cera/Kat Dennings effort Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist will ride teens and the date crowd to about $17 million, which still won't be enough to overtake Eagle Eye for second place. Nothing else will break $10 million; Greg Kinnear's windshield-wiper biopic (!) Flash of Genius is on too few screens, Julianne Moore's dodgy drama Blindness will fall victim to the angry blind lobby, and Ed Harris's expanding Western Appaloosa couldn't find traction when it was on 1,000 screens, let alone 2,000.

Most of the remaining release slate looks like a gang of orphans hassling tourists for change: Jia Zhangke's acclaimed Still Life; the timely, revealing political doc Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story, Rutger Hauer's psychological love-triangle drama Mentor; Obscene, the story of Grove Press publisher Barney Rosset; the Muslim stand-up concert film Allah Made Me Funny, and the Iraq-vet basket case drama The Violent Kind.

THE BIG LOSER: MGM's hard-luck streak looks likely to continue with How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, the adaptation of Toby Young's thinly-veiled bestseller about his misadventures in the Conde Nast empire. It won't fail for lack of trying — at least not with a cast including Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Megan Fox and Jeff Bridges rocking his best Graydon Carter impression — and a month ago, in less-congested times, this may have even had some multiplex leverage. But in this glut, with the reviews it's receiving and audience awareness less than half of what it needs to be, expect a $3 million opening and quick dispatch to DVD. Where, in fairness, the Fox connection will more than make up for it stillbirth at the box office.

THE UNDERDOG: Religulous is already exhibiting legs in New York, where it opened Wednesday to $13,000 on two screens. It'll bulk up it Oscar doc creds this weekend alongside Rachel Getting Married, a genuinely brilliant piece of ensemble filmmaking by Jonathan Demme and an awards-season lock for Anne Hathaway. But like last week's evangelically supported Fireproof, which "shocked" everyone but us with a $6.5 million opening, watch the conservative satire An American Carol explode in the red states. Vivendi pushed it aggressively before and after last night's debate, it's critic-proof (not that it was available for review) and will fare far better on 1,600 screens — like "$6.3 million" better — than anyone will give it credit for.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD releases include Iron Man, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Julian Schnabel's rock doc Lou Reed's Berlin, the steroid expose Bigger, Faster, Stronger* and, because you (or somebody) asked for it, Can't Hardly Wait: The 10th Anniversary Edition.

So how do you plan to sort out the mess at the multiplex? Are there chihuahuas in your future? Can Kinnear's windshield wipers overcome? Can American Carol be the pandering sensation it aspires to? Call your shots, and aim carefully; there are too many innocent bystanders in the mix this week.

Lord, yes. Things came to a head at the end of Maher's segment, when Shepherd asked the skeptical Maher whether he had ever spoken with God. Needless to say, he had not, and when Shepherd replied that she had, Maher recommended a stint in Bellevue. As Whoopi Goldberg hurriedly threw the show to commercial, a grinning Elisabeth Hasselbeck clearly exulted in the fact that for once, she wasn't the controversial one. Who needs a "cooling off" now, eh, Babs?

• The View [ABC]

The fact that it's a Borat-style "documentary" in which dumbasses are strung up by their own words has dumbasses everywhere complaining even before it hits theaters.

The project has already inspired protests at its premiere at the Toronto film festival earlier this month, and US satirist Bill Maher and director Larry Charles have been accused of misleading participants. Maher has conceded that several sleights of hand were necessary to persuade people to perform. 'It was simple: We never, ever, used my name. We never told anybody it was me who was going to do the interviews. We even had a fake title for the film. We called it A Spiritual Journey. It didn't work everywhere. We went to Salt Lake City, but no one would let us film there at all.'

Going further in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, Maher described the type of audience he hoped to provoke: 'Any religious person. The point is to question what is usually made to be unquestionable in this country. Normally if you say the word "faith", the debate is over - no matter what incredibly nonsensical, destructive, ridiculous tenet comes out of your mouth. I could say, "My faith is the tooth fairy and Klingons are coming". But I'm not going to play by those rules.'

The determination to offend is not limited to the US market. A specially commissioned international poster, unveiled this month, depicts three monkeys as a rabbi, the Pope and an imam.

[Guardian UK]

She’s “the one who said the Earth isn’t round? First, we know it’s round because, like Sherri Shepherd, we can see it from space,” Maher quips.

“Secondly, to me this is child abuse. If you [can’t] tell your children if the Earth is flat or not … this is why this country is in such trouble. We’re bringing up ignorant children because they have ignorant parents.”

On Republican candidate John McCain, he says, “I’m amused when pundits say that McCain has to pick a running mate who’s younger than he is. You think? Who’s older?!”

Try the veal! But seriously, we hope this doesn't interfere with Maher's booking chances on The View; we can't wait to see Barbara Walters hold one fluttery hand to her chest, murmuring "Oh Dear," as Shepherd and Maher get into a "yo mama" battle royale. At the very least, can we get the man a spot on Wendy Williams?

[photo credit: AP]

• TV Guide