Taylor Swift Accused of Trampling All Over Critically Endangered Birds' Nests
This Thanksgiving, let’s all be thankful for—and not trample on—birds.
Tap Dancing Love Birds Put All of Our Pathetic Relationships To Shame
This is it; we will never be capable of real romance again.
Researcher Sparks Controversy by Collecting a Rare Bird to Death
A researcher from the American Museum of Natural History tracked down an extremely rare bird in Guadalcanal and, after consideration, collected a specimen. With extreme prejudice. What I’m saying here is he killed it.
Vulture Gang Attracted by "Foul Death" Smell Refuses to Leave Man's Home
Imagine it’s Saturday morning, and you’re about to enjoy a book and a cup of coffee on your back porch, and you’re greeted by four two-foot tall winged eaters of dead meat. They’re staring you down through the glass sliding door, as if to say Do you feel lucky, punk? Oh god, not the vultures again. Welcome to Rick…
This Is a Very Rude Owl
Sure you can talk all you want about how You’re anthropomorphizing a dumb bird Gabrielle, and, Wouldn’t it be nice to get off YouTube and out of the house, but don’t tell me this asshole didn’t know exactly what he was doing.
Woman: Whoops, My Parrot Made Me Crash My Damn Car
Parrots seem like good enough birds, in the scheme of all the other birds. Colorful and fun and they can mimic human voices—what's not to love? That being said, parrots are birds and not people—they will not help you drive your car—so if you're the kind of person who brings your parrot on car rides without keeping…
Adult Lawmaker Ruins Children's Bill Submission With Anti-Abortion Joke
A group of New Hampshire fourth-graders who traveled to the state's capital in Concord to learn about the joys of civic engagement were given a surprisingly realistic picture of the American legislative process after one lawmaker used their bill—a proposal to name the red-tailed hawk the official state raptor—as an…
Vatican Adopts Balloons as Symbols of Satan's Power
Yesterday, the Catholic Church released hordes of colorful balloons in St. Peter's Square, a gesture meant to symbolize the triumph of Satan's power over life on earth.
Oregon Jogger Attacked by Owl Runs in Circles Screaming
As an unlucky jogger learned last week, owls will fuck you up. Ron Jaecks was out for run early Tuesday morning at a park in Salem, Oregon, when something swooped from the darkness and latched onto his knit hat, puncturing his scalp.
Foie Gras Is For Assholes
Yesterday, a federal judge overturned the state of California's ban on foie gras. Great news, for assholes.
Do You Have 8 Seconds to Watch This Video of an Owl Swimming? YES
No longer content to rule the sky, the owl has extended its terrible dominion into another element of the wondrous universe: Earth's hydrosphere.
Afghan Police Shoot Regular Bird-Bird Full of "Suspicious Metal Stuff"
Authorities in Afghanistan are investigating a bizarre incident involving a wild bird outfitted with explosives and surveillance equipment* found walking along a road, NBC News reports.
A new study estimates that Europe has suffered "a decrease of 421 million individual birds" in the past 30 years.
James Franco Is Ready for Jail
Aspiring writer James Franco is not afraid of jail. He has his time all planned out.
Heroic Ospreys Will Not Stop Building Nests on This Traffic Camera
The osprey, Pandion haliaetus, is a bird of character. The ancient poets knew this, and the Maryland Transportation Authority is discovering it the hard way. Last week, a pair of ospreys decided to build their nest on a platform overlooking the approach to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, where the MDTA keeps a traffic…
Talking Parrot Helps Police Solve Mysterious Murder Case
First a parrot rats out its owner for a DUI and now this: Last week, a talking parrot helped police solve the mysterious murder of its owner.
Police Raid Multiple Cockfighting Rings In "Operation Angry Birds"
More than 70 cockfighters were arrested overnight as part of Operation Angry Birds, a massive three-part raid that involved hundreds of cops and Department of Homeland Security officers.
Up to a Billion Birds Die in the U.S. Annually Crashing into Windows
A new report finds that between 365 and 988 million birds die annually from crashing into windows in the United States alone. That's 10 percent of the bird population of the entire country, according to the Washington Post.
Pope Francis Blesses Porn Actor's Parrot
When an Italian porn star brought his parrot named Amore to see Pope Francis on Wednesday, the pope treated the green bird with the dignity and respect owed to any parrot. The bird received a papal blessing.
