Chambered nautilus! Flying satellite! Supernova mystery! Cycad fossils! Ancient art! Geoengineering recognition! Black scientists! Mastodon extinction! And crazy birds think they can fly around with nail heads? That's crazy! It's your Monday Science Watch, where we watch science—explosively!

Pain measurement! Pyromania analysis! NASA rocket! Hefty bacteria! Galaxy shapes! Hot summer! Murderous bird! Flying snails! And scientists playing with hoses for fake experiments! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—in agony!

The Scottish government recently imported 14 sea eagles from Norway, to reintroduce the giant bird of prey into the wilds of Scotland. Unfortunately, they chose areas not quite wild enough, according to the Scottish Gamekeepers Association, which is calling for an inquiry into the feathered monsters with wingspans of…

Rupert Murdoch came outside his NYC apartment building, looked up, saw a peacock, and was like,

Today we heard the relieving news that the Central Park peacock is back where he belongs. Everyone was happy about that! Well, OK, not everyone. Some lesser birds were pretty pissed off.

Life lives! Bears menace! Phone cancer! Asteroid stowaways! Booby bullies! Lab dangers! Electron dancing! Neanderthal crowding! And dangerous health experiments that you can do at home! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—on the road, baby!

Haven't you always wondered if mouth-to-beak resuscitation—"bird CPR"—would actually work? Well! We can confirm that, yes, in at least one instance it has: Bend, Ore. veterinarian Jeff Cooney saved a bald eagle (named, boringly, "Patriot") this week by performing CPR on it. Patriot, whom Dr. Cooney is rehabilitating…

Science! What would we do without you? Certainly we would never know the marvelous story of Tornatellides boeningi, the snail that can survive being eaten, digested, and pooped out by a bird.

According to science, birds that live in the city have larger brains than birds that live in the sticks. European researchers studied 82 species of birds and compared their brain sizes. From the BBC:

We've seen this trick before, but something about Rio's dramatic, feathered head flick of death makes it even more adorable. Bonus: Rio's shooter kind of looks like Jeff Bridges.

A traveling geese herd, probably gabbing about last night's American Idol, were too noisy while making their way through town. Surprisingly, when told to pipe down, they immediately did.

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein took on the ridiculously cliché trend of putting a bird on prints, housewares, clothes—really anything a hipster could ever want. But what happens when an actual bird enters a shop like that?

Have you ever wondered if birds pee and not only just produce white poop? Watch the answer to this age old question at 600 frames per second.

Sometimes it takes a little while for things to sink in, like being bitten by a snake multiple times.

Here's a video of two cockatiels doing the nasty—but wait, that's not all! After all the bumpin' and grindin' is over with, one of the birds begins to whistle—what else?—"Whistle While You Work." But he's already done!

"Scientists" say that recent mass bird deaths aren't out of the ordinary. "Respected prophet" Cindy Jacobs says repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell caused the bird deaths. Who do you believe? Before you answer, look at Cindy's outfit. [via]

[A bird attacks a kite during the International Kite Festival in Ahmadabad, India today. Image via AP]

Remember all those birds that died in Italy with mysterious blue stains on their beaks? Turns out they were just greedy little fatties who gorged themselves on sunflower seeds and died of "massive indigestion." Reassuring, I guess?

All these scary bird, crab and fish die-offs have prompted many to wonder if the world was coming to an end, a whole year before it's officially supposed to. But so-called "scientists" say these massive die-offs happen all the time.