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Ha Ha, The Twilight Movie Sucks
New York, 8:54 AM
Mon Nov 30
21 posts in the last 24 hours
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Ha Ha, The Twilight Movie Sucks |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
11/19/08
I did happen to enjoy a scene in the movie when Bella is being courted by the stone-chested (and cold!), amber-eyed Edward, and he's playing the piano for her in a dark misty room. It's like a Prince video. I couldn't really believe what I was seeing.
11/19/08
11/19/08
It's The Covenant with a more broody, but less cute guy as the lead. It's going to be spectacularly, milk-curdingly, silly and nachotastic.
Oh, and Spike is gorge, but I still have a thing for Boreanz's Angel. That man is sex with 8 foot shoulders.
11/19/08
However, I take umbrage with Justin Chang (Variety)'s criticism that "Bella's decision to get hot and heavy with a hot-and-hungry vampire, far from seeming like an act of mad, transgressive passion, comes across as merely stupid and ill-considered". Justin, you clearly have NO idea how the mind of a teenage girl works. Bitches be crazy in love with boys they've never talked to before sometimes. It. just. happens.
11/19/08
11/19/08
11/19/08
11/19/08
I was just about to mention that. You wanna talk about a twisted vampire romance? Fuck Twilight and go see this.
11/19/08
11/19/08
I was wrong.
11/19/08
I liked the books, not because they are great literature, but because they are great popcorn entertainment. Also, I'm excited to see something that isn't a sequel, isn't a remake, isn't based on a TV show, and doesn't feature STUPID CGI ANIMALS.
11/19/08
There might not be any CGI animals but there sure will be plenty of CGI vampire hopping about.
I liked Thirteen. What of it.
11/19/08
Has no one seen Buffy or Angel? This is more or less it. How Stephanie Meyer can say with a straight face that she had no idea what BtVS was before writing these books..?
Where is Joss Whedon in all this?
11/19/08
Did she actually say this? Cause now I have an ALL NEW reason to fucking hate her.
11/19/08
11/19/08
11/19/08
I am reading these books, I hate them, they blow, they are horrible. Am I going out to buy the next book in the series..you bet. I have no good answer as too why.
11/19/08
If you have the stamina to get through book 3 I salute you. I went into it a few days ago expecting a shitshow and was utterly unprepared for what awaited me. It was the tween-lit equivalent of Normandy.
11/19/08
11/19/08
(oh, and you made me laugh so hard I am crying...so I owe you a root beer)
11/19/08
11/19/08
11/19/08
But why not go all out with the alliteration? "to purloin Meyer's purple parlance." would be perfect.
11/19/08
This Christmas, please grant me an NC17 rated movie with LOTS of explicit sex and tons of hot young sweaty stars.
This PG-13 teenage shit restricted only to glassy-eyed looks into the distance, sighs, and dreamy glances is getting old. I want some gratuitous nudity and meaningless sex in my movies. Aight?
Ok then.
11/19/08
plus you're not secretly born of a mormon. double points.
11/19/08
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11/19/08