Like many fallen legislators before him, Mr. Blago has put pen to paper to produce a tome, entitled The Governor. The title alone says it all: here's a man who's astonishing God complex knows no bounds, especially when it comes to playing the media.

From day one, he has courted the press and used various airwaves, interwebs and channels to plead his case: "I did nothing wrong." But now that his book's been released, his true colors come out. So he writes about his first appearance before a judge:

As expected, the courtroom was packed with the media. These are the kinds of things they just love. Good news; forget about it...

This was going to be a great day for them. This is what they live for. The misfortune of others is a mother lode of fortune for them. And in a mad dash to write about the bad news, they're so busy tripping over each other and trying not to get scooped by the competition that the search for the truth is a casualty. It's collateral damage.
....
It's a rat race out there. It's a rush. It's a rush to beat the competition. It's a rush to sell newspapers. It's a rush to judgment! Screw the truth. Edward R. Murrow would roll over in his grave.

Indeed he would. Blago also suggests that the newspaper industry's taste for tabloid blood "undermines" democracy, or some shit. Because, you know, "allegedly" trying to sell a Senate seat helps further the cause. But, as with all things Blago, this must all be taken with a grain of salt, for his clear disregard for reality borders on pathological.

Today, in an interview about the damning FBI transcripts, Blago claims the comments were "taken out of context," such as his remark that he wants "to make money" and won't give up the seat for "nothing."

Blago views the media as nothing more than a stage on which he can act out a nearly primal play about the deficiencies of news-making and, in fact, the political world as a whole. He knew news folk would latch onto his story, a move that both gave him room to grow his ego and simultaneously mind-fuck the nation by pulling the strings like a puppet master who's not only in on the joke, but wrote it himself. (The most definitive proof, we think, came when he made a bid for a reality program that automatically assumes one's "celebrity" status.)

Sadly, all this pain and sorrow hasn't helped book sales. The Governor is only 5,519 on Amazon's entire book list. Not too shabby, no, but certainly not what he expected, we're sure. Maybe the next act will be better.

We reported a little over a month ago that the Today show had booked Blagojevich to appear on the morning he happened to be arrested by the FBI, but bumped the interview so they could flack for Jay Leno's new show. We found that out through a Freedom of Information Act request to the state of Illinois asking for e-mails from representatives of the media to Lucio Guerrero, Blagojevich's press secretary (we got the idea from South Carolina's The State, which did the same thing—to comic effect—after Mark Sanford's Argentinian Rhapsody).

The first raft of e-mails we got were from December 8, the day before Blagojevich got popped, and it included one from Today producer Lexi Dauber apologetically canceling a scheduled remote Q-and-A with Matt Lauer to make room for Leno news. We just got another batch covering the 48 hours after the arrest, and guess what? Dauber and her fellow Today producer Stephanie Siegel all of a sudden really wanted to talk to Blagojevich!

The traditional route for a reporter desperately trying to convince someone to submit to an interview when it's obviously not in their interest to do so is to drop all pretense of toughness and objectivity and lie to them: We will be your friend! Not like all those other mean reporters. While Dauber and Seigel's e-mails to Guerrero are understandably sympathetic, an internal write-up of a phone call with Siegel outlining the terms of her interview request shows what they were really willing to give up. Matt Lauer or Meredith Vieira would call Blagojevich before the interview to "go over the line of questions," and Seigel stressed that "they are sensitive."

CBS's Early Show also went the simpering route, telling Guerrero that there is "far too much hearsay going around" and offering Blagojevich an opportunity to "set the record straight" and "clear his own name." They were even willing to "rent a private space to keep him away from the rest of the media's view." We all know how annoying prying reporters can be.

ABC News' Diane Sawyer, on the other hand, didn't try to buddy up to Blago. To her credit, Sawyer's producer offered a fairly straightforward pitch that managed to avoid over-the-top sycophancy.

Larry King's producer relied on the rogue's gallery that has traipsed through King's studio in the past, positioning the host as the go-to guy for crooks, liars, and other humiliated figures—go with us and you can be in the fine company of Jeffrey Skilling, Gary Condit, and Bob Packwood!

King's CNN colleague Anderson Cooper wasn't even trying: His producers sent in a perfunctory, We-asked-Governor-Blagojevich-to-come-on-the-show requests that they knew weren't going to open any doors.

Likewise the producer for CNN's Campbell Brown dashed off an email that would allow her to dutifully report that a request was in.

Sometimes brevity is your best bet when dealing with a harried flack who's clearly deluged with requests. That's what Andy Shaw, a political reporter for Chicago's local ABC station, decided to go with.

That kind of approach is important when you know your target is dealing with all manner of zany proposals. Like a request for comment from "a representative for Dan Ackroyd [sic] and Jim Belushi" on their call for Blagojevich's resignation. When a press aide forwarded that message to the governor's press assistant, she responded, "What? I want you to explain."

(For the record, it looks like that was a hoax call—we can't find any evidence that one-half of the Blues Brothers and the talentless brother of the other, dead, half ever made such a demand.)

The most pathetic request comes from Pat Curry, the news assignment editor for WGN, a local Chicago station. He wasn't even asking for an interview with Blagojevich—he wanted Guerrero himself to come on, and delivered a masterwork of flattery and faux sympathy. "I wouldn't expect you to be able to comment on a federal investigation, and could easily brush that off," Curry wrote, signing off with, "Humbly, Pat Curry."

A producer for a local Chicago talk radio show hosted by husband-and-wife pair Don and Roma Wade wins the award for discretion, declining to put in writing the "incredible offer" he had for Guerrero.

We'll never know what that offer was, but guess who got the first post-arrest interview with disgraced Gov. Rod Blagojevich?

You can read the whole batch here. Interestingly, not one e-mail from Fox News turned up. It could be that they relied solely on the phone, or that their e-mails somehow got missed by our FOIA requests. Or maybe they figured it wasn't worth trying.

The "world famous Moonlite BunnyRanch" announced in a press release today that they've offered the beloved hero of the Illinois taxpayers an "apprenticeship" at their legal house of ill repute.

This apprenticeship could be featured throughout the upcoming season of HBO's CatHouse. Rod's willpower would be challenged daily by the ladies as they bribe him to acquire finer rooms or better working hours and days off. In lieu of Rod's work throughout the apprenticeship Dennis Hof will pay him a handsome amount of money.

Yes, ok, it is a dumb press release promoting one of the HBO shows that only exists to give old dudes without internet skills something to jerk off to but we have not yet mentioned the best part:

The Mancow Muller radio show in Chicago facilitated a conference call with Dennis Hof and Rod Blagojevich's PR Manager, Glenn Selig. The conversation was successful and Glenn Selig is taking this offer very seriously and will present it to Rod Blagojevich very soon.

Isn't that thrillingly plausible? Blago's PR manager is clearly almost as insane as he is. This could happen!

Blago attempted to portray the appearance on NBC's I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here! as a job opportunity which paid $80,000 a show and will allow him to provide for his kids. He's been unemployed since being removed from office, and is facing multiple corruption charges. A Costa Rican official noted that he'd be a free man in that country, as he doesn't have any convictions — just that impeachment thing.

U.S. District Judge James Zagel cannily forbade the gig. "I don't think this defendant in all honesty ... fully understands the position he finds himself in," he said in court. Oh, we think Blago understands. And if anyone was going to go on the lam in the jungles of Central America, it's Blago.

(Photo by Brian Jackson/Sun-Times))

Blago, who just pled "not guilty" to federal corruption charges in the most insane way possible, is in talks to star in a forthcoming survival-style reality show on NBC, the Chicago Tribune reports. His attorney just warned the judge in his case that the governor will soon ask for dispensation from his travel restrictions to travel to the Costa Rican's jungle for the show.

Here's the show's official description (via Hollywood Reporter):

"Ten celebrities of various backgrounds will be dropped into the heart of the Costa Rican jungle to face challenges designed to test their skills in adapting to the wilderness and to raise money for their favorite charities."

It's not yet clear which charity Blago plans to shake down over his potential winnings.

Former Illinois Governor Blago was charged with 16 federal criminal counts because he kept asking for money in exchange for things, like appointing a Senator.

The case won't go to trial for months still, so there is plenty of crazy left to cherish while we wait. One of Blago's ex-chiefs of staff is cooperating with prosecutors! His brother's on trial too! Whee!

Jackson is not actually in any legal trouble, because he didn't actually do anything, but according to taped conversations, corrupt former Illinois governor Blago seemed to think he might end up with a pretty decent payday if he appointed Jackson to the Senate to replace Barack Obama.

Blago told his brother to get in touch with Raghuveer Nayak, a friend of and fundraiser for Jackson, and try to sell Nayak on giving Blago "tangible political support" in exchange for the Jackson appointment. Now Blago didn't actually seem to want to appoint Jackson, 'cause Jackson had not really been his best political ally, but it still seemed worth a shot to approach Jackson's rich friends. And then there was this fundraiser Jackson and his brother and Nayak went to, a couple weeks before Blago's arrest, but honestly who knows what was actually going on out there, in Chicago, with the favor-trading.

Now the "Office of Congressional Ethics" is a toothless citizens' board sort of thing that was just formed last year, and all they can really do is ask politely for interviews and documents and then recommend that the for-real Ethics Committee look into something, but still: you don't really want to be the only member of the Illinois congressional delegation not named "Roland Burris" to be under investigation by any group with "ethics" in the name.

Accused of trying to sell the vacant Senate seat of Barack Obama to the highest bidder, Blagojevich got caught before he sealed the deal. Some accuse prosecutors of rushing to nail him before he'd actually taken a bribe, rather than just artfully suggesting he might be open to the idea. The indictment also accuses him of a "wide-ranging scheme to deprive the people of Illinois of honest government" — which seems like a moot point now that he's got little more to do than vacation at theme parks. This is an anticlimactic end to his sorry political career; the indictment and subsequent trial are a small postscript.

No wonder that Blagojevich is out of town. There's no spotlight to be hogged, no cameras in his face, no microphones waiting to capture his latest recitation of lines of Kipling. He managed to get a book deal. By the time it comes out, will anyone remember anything besides his funny name and funnier mane?

Well, not a lot of people liked him to begin with, but he ended up getting seated anyway. He seemed at first like a harmless political also-ran allowing himself to be used by evil Blago, then he was an opportunist, then he was a crazy person who had a giant monument to himself built in a graveyard, which endeared him to some (us).

But now he's looking like another shitty Chicago politician, and one almost as dangerously narcissistic as Blago himself, and not so much fun to have around in the Senate. Gee, who know actually seating the guy Rod Blagojevich appointed would turn out to be a bit of an embarrassment? Once again, nice work, Harry Reid.

Now, at least, it'll be easier to mount a primary challenge against him with actual candidates.

[Photo: AP]

Update: Blago's on the move! A tipster reports: "He's over @ Penguin now, a friend at the company tells me." Macmillan, Penguin, whoever — let's get this book going!

This could explain why Blagojevich recently said he would not collect unemployment, despite being booted out of the governor's seat. He's not unemployed because he's working on a book!

It is inevitable, after being impeached for trying to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat, that Blagojevich would try to milk his story for a hefty book advance. Isn't that what one does? Publishers have recently been rushing to give book deals to all sorts of people that no one likes.

But this man, a frequent quoter of Rudyard Kipling whom we have hailed as the next great Chicagoan poet, isn't just any scandal-ridden politician hoping to find a silver lining in his infamy. His mouth produces a special kind of American crazy, and we can't wait to see him fill a full-length autobiography with it. It would be a shame if he had to go through the same kind of protracted bidding war that Blagojevich allegedly wanted to stir up among Illinois's Senate hopefuls.

(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Blagojevich tomorrow plans to appear on NBC's "Today" show, CNN"s "Larry King Live," Fox News' "On the Record with Greta Van Susteren," and – wait for it – the "Late Show with David Letterman."

And in case that's not enough, "Former Governor Rod Blagojevich is also scheduled for various radio and newspaper interviews," according to the release.

We were holding out hope for a Studio B With Shepard Smith appearance but it looks like we'll have to settle for crazy Greta Van Susteren, who will hopefully blog about it!

A hero who was removed from office because he loves old people, children and kittens too much. No, seriously. Whether he's a psychopath or that helmet of hair is actually an alien mind-control device, Blagojevich's complete lack of self-awareness is staggering. So here he is, just about an hour after he was removed as Illinois governor, telling a bank of cameras that he's never loved the people of Illinois as much as he does today. The day they unanimously told him to get the hell out of their lives.

The 59-0 vote followed several hours of public deliberation in which senator after senator stood up to blast Blagojevich, whose tenure lasted six years. And it came after a four-day impeachment trial on allegations that Blagojevich abused his power and sold his office for personal and political benefit.

The conviction on a sweeping article of impeachment means the governor was immediately removed from office. The Senate also unanimously voted to impose the "political death penalty" on Blagojevich, banning him from ever again holding office in Illinois.

His little speech and media tour were all for naught. Adios, jerk. [Chicago Tribune]

Like a rhymer who repeats a well-turned phrase, Blagojevich made the most of his tropes in his speech. He kept returning to a Whitmanesque claim that he shook people down not for political contributions and quid pro quo favors, but for "seniors, families, and children." And that he pursued "legal means for moral ends." Why didn't he just proclaim himself large and containing of multitudes?

Blagojevich is likely to get removed from office. His replacement, Lieutenant Governor Pat Quinn, has already prepared his inaugural address. But we hope Blagojevich finds new employment. Couldn't President Obama name him poet laureate?

(Video by Gawker intern Georgina Devine)

His utter shamelessness probably saved him from doing time—Fitzgerald rushed the arrest to stop Blago from appointing a Senator and tainting the Senate, and then Blago appointed a Senator! And meanwhile the US Attorney's case against him is mostly just "he kept threatening to do something illegal."

And so Blago leaves office but becomes, instead of another scummy imprisoned Illinois politician, a sort of harmless lovable nut who says crazy things to Larry King and is almost charmingly shameless. When Shep Smith interrupts Blago's rambling news conferences to ask "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL" it is because Blago's stories about saving the lives of cancer patients are almost endearingly kooky. While his media blitz was ostensibly about convincing the Illinois Senate to allow him to call witnesses that would ruin his upcoming criminal trial, what it was really about was introducing the crazy personality behind those ridiculous and scuzzy phone transcripts.

Oh, those threats came from the funny little guy under the hair? Hah! What a character!

So while he'll probably never hold public office again, its worthwhile to remember that he hasn't even been indicted yet. He's already been offered a radio gig back in Chicago, if he steps down. He might end up with G. Gordon Liddy's career without spending a day in the clink.

Good work, Blago, on your transformation from representation of endemic corruption to funny guy with the hair.

The disgraced Illinois governor appeared on Maddow's MSNBC show after the Illinois senate heard for the first time on Tuesday federal wiretap recordings of his conversations. His strategy seems to be to keep talking and talking until everyone gets bored with him and forgets what he did wrong. Hence his tour of morning shows like Good Morning America and the View and his chat with Larry King.

By the time he made it to Maddow's program, Blagojevich had gotten bold. He said he wanted "every taped conversation to be heard so the whole story can be heard in the full context" since "I consider myself the anti-Nixon."

But the Democrat is not the "anti-Nixon," because within seconds he got all jumpy. He said "I can't go into the details" when Maddow pressed him for a real answer on whether he tried to get Chicago Tribune editors fired. He later sputtered a half-denial, saying he didn't tell Tribune Company to lay off, and his aide was "never directed" to do so.

The guv apparently managed to run afoul of judicial regulations, since, Blago said, there's a "Supreme Court rule" that won't let him discuss the specifics of his case. Which he had just discussed. Rather unconvincingly.

Blago surely plans to keep talking, Supreme Court rule or not, because his embarrassing presence in the national media is one of his only remaining political bargaining chips, and because he knows his constituents will eventually beg him to finish out his term if he promises to just stop talking, on television.

On GMA the tiny criminal Illinois Governor told a stone-sober Diane Sawyer that he was totally going to appoint Oprah Winfrey to Barack Obama's Senate seat. Which would've been amazing.

She seemed to be someone who had helped Barack Obama in a significant way become president," he said. "She was obviously someone with a much broader bully pulpit than other senators."

Unfortunately he couldn't pick her, because he was pretty sure she wouldn't decline the offer, and also she refused to put him on the cover of O Magazine.

[Update: Oprah, calling into her buddy Gayle King's show on Sirius, responded, "If I had been watching from the treadmill I probably would have fallen off the treadmill."

Also he carefully calculated the most insanely deluded statement a corrupt politician could possibly make:

"I thought it was actually a friend of mine who was playing a practical joke," he said of his arrest. "Unfortunately it wasn't. And then the day unfolded and I had a whole bunch of thoughts — of course my children and my wife — and then I thought about Mandela, Dr. King, Gandhi and tried to put some perspective in all of this, and that's what I'm doing now."

Haha also he thought about Jesus, and Santa Claus, and Lou Gehrig, and George Clooney. He is pretty much just like all of those people!

Good news: within the hour, Blago hits The View, and he finishes the day on Larry King Live. It's America's Birthday!

An undated photo of Blagojevich signing the rack of a youthful female voter — hey, he was reaching out to important demographics! — is making the rounds on Facebook. The picture appeared in the collection of CJ Dugan, a Chicago-area animator. We're not sure if he took it, or just reposted it from elsewhere. But what we really want to know is what's in the censored part — all the more suspicious after Blagojevich deleted his own Facebook account. Destruction of evidence!

Update: We just heard from Dugan, who is the mystery photographer! "I was clearing out my iPhoto library and found it," he tells us. The photo, he says, is from September 20, 2008; he noticed a crowd gathering at the Cubs game and snapped it as he walked by. And the weird blocked-out portion? "That was just my flash on someone's shoulder." Darn! There goes that conspiracy theory. Dugan reports he's newly popular on Facebook, including a friend request from Chicago Sun-Times columnist Rich Miller.

(Photo by CJ Dugan)