Yeah. He went there.

He starts opining about how he wishes he had a different strategy—like to start in one city, as Paranormal Activity did—thus ironically echoing the same ethos of The Man Running Hollywood that he later rallies against: find the thing that just performed really, really well, and try to capitalize on its success. Which, whoops, too late.

See, but Max doesn't think he's The Man. He thinks he's The Artist. He's one of The People Who Create. And the people who fucked up his movie chance to become the next E.T. are not. No, really:

Look, here's what people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine owns you. And I was just never ever going to let that happen.

Kinda wish I were an artist, so my art could be 'relevant,' bro. He goes on: he doesn't hate on Big Movies because he's an Indie Movie Guy, because, you know, Transformers would make a stupid indie movie, right? So he's an indie guy. And there's no way he could've sold this movie out to be funny, no way. He just didn't let it go down like this, man. He would've had to stab someone if they put Seth Rogen in his movie. Not happening, no way.

This movie, if we had sold it to [FOX] Searchlight, they would've put Seth Rogen and Dane Cook in it, and they would've cut all the f*cking balls out of the jokes, and they would've brought in some sh*t bird to rewrite the script who would've had Tucker have a girlfriend and this and that, and then it's like they own everything, they may have fired me… I would've stabbed somebody if they had done that. They would've fired me off the movie because they own it — I don't own sh*t anymore, but then I'm the one who has to live with all their creative decisions.

Creative decisions! Like where to put the balls in the movie. Spielberg had the same problem with the girl in the red coat in Schindler's List, which he originally wanted to call Nazis Are Fucked Up, Yo. When you make a Big Studio Movie, you only get so much creative control over the ball jokes, you know? Max goes on to cite another problem as the opening of the film in small cities liek Carbondale, Illinois, a memory that provokes him to rage: "They just don't know the f*cking movies!" But he saves the best for the people of Darko Entertainment, Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly's production company, who produced the movie.

Now, come on. Donnie Darko's a great movie and say what you will of Southland Tales, but at least there's more to say about it besides "it sucks," something many movies (like Tucker's) can't move past. Why, Richard Kelly, did you let this guy into your house?

Well, hopefully, lesson learned. Especially after this bullshit:

Darko [Entertainment] gave us all the creative freedom we could've ever wanted with the budget we had, but once the movie was done, they made a lot of decisions distribution-wise that I would not have made. A lot of things.

How about: your movie is poop, the original product is started out as was poop, you are poop, and if anybody ever lets you work in Hollywood again, they, too, are poop? Nope. Because Tucker's got dreams, man. Big ones:

Another book, Assholes Finish First is coming out next year and then English release [of the film] is New Year's — UK release. Those are the next two big things.

1. Because the British don't think we're doltish enough.
2. Because, lesson learned, Assholes Definitely Finish First. In the race to the bargain bin. Which is where all Tucker Max material will continue to land.

Meta. Bro.

The Gubmint

Maybe an energy policy that for years consisted entirely of "keep gas prices as low as possible" directly encouraged overproduction of the huge cars that no one wants anymore because oil will no longer be so ridiculously cheap ever again.

And maybe the young liberal technocrats in charge of things now don't care about the industrial midwest and don't understand the importance of preserving American manufacturing jobs, which is why they'll give the banks a blank check and let them fight even the most basic of new regulatory legislation while demanding crippling concessions from the automakers in exchange for a fraction of the cash.

Also now they will seize all the automakers because they are Kenyan Communists.

The Foreigners

"George Washington would roll over in his grave and call it treason for letting foreigners come in here and take away what we had built," a longtime autoworker says in The New Yorker's April story on the death of Detroit. And it's true! The Japanese waltzed in here offering better, more fuel-efficient cars during the oil crisis in the '70s, manufactured in non-union plants down in the lawless South, and next thing you know no one wants a Firebird anymore.

And these foreigners also won the affection of all these southern Republican lawmakers, who refused to help Detroit because Nissan owned their districts. It's un-American.

The Hippies

Wah wah we want an electric car the hippies all said. And so California made Detroit build an electric car. But it was expensive, and real Americans, who only buy cars based on how loud, big, and cheap they are (gas is still so cheap whee!), didn't want anything to do with the EV1.

Now G.M. is sinking billions into the Chevy Volt, an all-electric car that will cost twice as much as a Prius, and still be a Chevy, so no one will want it.

The Elitists

The only people left in America with any money are various liberal New York Times-reading coastal elitists. And guess what? They don't buy American! If they don't take trains, they buy Toyotas and Hondas. Because American cars aren't hip enough for them.

The Jews?

In addiction to controlling the New World Order, the Jews caused the first oil crisis with that whole Yom Kippur War thing.

The Arabs?

They still have allllll the oil (besides all the oil we haven't yet drilled for, in Alaska, because of hippies), and they won't just give it to us for free! What jerks!

The Unions

Ok, so, G.M. spends more than $1,000 per car manufactured on the entirely useless and stupid act of "providing health care to current and retired workers." And the stubborn unions that crippled the industry refuse to negotiate in good faith, demanding crazy things like "equitable sacrifices from bondholders" in exchange for the various concessions they've made, like accepting half their pension funds in Ford stock and introducing a two-tiered wage plan for new hires!

And yes, workers won the right to get paid even when they weren't working, so that the robots wouldn't steal their jobs, and they could retire after thirty years and hold on to very nice health plans and pensions. All in all it was a lot like France or something.

It could be argued that these out-of-control labor costs pale in seriousness to the various ridiculous missteps and idiotic business decisions management made over the last 30 years but only if you are a communist.

Once again those foreign-owned plants did it right. Their non-unionized workers contribute to the cost of their own health care, encouraging many of them to not get sick so much, and instead of fancy guaranteed pensions they all have 401(k)s, which encourages them to work even harder, because now those 401(k)s are worth zero dollars.

Gremlins

This seems like the most likely explanation.