Is this one of those self-help books that really just emphasizes all your bad points, while it yells, scoffs, calls you names in "straight talk" and invariably makes you want to cheese curl yourself into a be-corned coma, while you cry hysterically to some piteous friend who still reads Tucker Max (Virgin Megastore, $5.99) or worse yet about What to do When the Zombies Attack, and there you are in your Snuggie, scarfing Chicken Mcnuggets with the remote, watching Mall Rats and wondering how a chubby Ben Affleck ever won an Oscar?
Yes, this is what happens when friends give you kitschy books that they think are cute and will subliminally get you out of sweatpants.
Much as I hate to correct Richard, this sort of thing is more "Barnes & Noble checkout line rack Secret Santa gift for someone you barely know" than "Urban Outfitters bathroom reading table," though the line between the two is pretty blurry...
Good on you, Richard B. Now is the time to bone up on your proofreading symbols so you can mark the pages correctly (there will be words in this book, won't there?). If you need help, go to the word "proofread" in Webster's and there is a list just waiting for you.
Do not listen to your editor, the people who sign these books generally don't know shit. Make friends with the marketing manager who is assigned to your book and, of course, your publicist.
@blakeley: I predict your book becomes a method of turning the carnivorous hordes into vegans. It'll be the Diet For New American, by John Robbins of the 21st Century.
@MisterHippity: Maybe we can shop our books together. My book, Lymed Is Writing A Book is an illustrated version of all the different Facebook like updates I've added to my handle as a commenter. The chapter on the days leading up to the bar exam is riveting: Lymed 20 days and counting, Lymed 19 days and counting, Lymed 18 days and counting...
Ever go to a dollar store and see the cheap plastic toys hanging on the wall in thin sandwich-bag-like containers? I always wondered who made those, whose life's work it was to compose unloved little choke-size playthings out of barely-processed fossil fuels. My suspicion is that it's the same kind of people who put these fad blog books on the market.
03/20/09
Yes, this is what happens when friends give you kitschy books that they think are cute and will subliminally get you out of sweatpants.
It won't, though.
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
Do not listen to your editor, the people who sign these books generally don't know shit. Make friends with the marketing manager who is assigned to your book and, of course, your publicist.
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
Congratulations! May this be just the beginning of your future success.
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
If you know anyone who might be interested in publishing it, just give me a holler.
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
Wanna be my agent?
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
I sometimes wonder what the Bangladeshi factory wage slaves are thinking about while they're assembling the various parts to our sex toys.
03/20/09
03/20/09
03/20/09
Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. Blakeley is living proof. Meatcake. MEATCAAAAAAAAKE!
03/20/09
It's like that scene in The Crying Game where Jaye Davidson finally gets naked.