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New York, 1:10 AM
Mon Dec 21
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    Is this one of those self-help books that really just emphasizes all your bad points, while it yells, scoffs, calls you names in "straight talk" and invariably makes you want to cheese curl yourself into a be-corned coma, while you cry hysterically to some piteous friend who still reads Tucker Max (Virgin Megastore, $5.99) or worse yet about What to do When the Zombies Attack, and there you are in your Snuggie, scarfing Chicken Mcnuggets with the remote, watching Mall Rats and wondering how a chubby Ben Affleck ever won an Oscar?


    Yes, this is what happens when friends give you kitschy books that they think are cute and will subliminally get you out of sweatpants.


    It won't, though.

     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    Much as I hate to correct Richard, this sort of thing is more "Barnes & Noble checkout line rack Secret Santa gift for someone you barely know" than "Urban Outfitters bathroom reading table," though the line between the two is pretty blurry...
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of MrInBetween MrInBetween
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    This book is going to be HUGE in Alabama. In fact, I bet stores sell the book fried in chicken-fat and served with a side of Goo Goo Clusters.
     Reply
    MrInBetween was starred MrInBetween was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    03/20/09

    @MrInBetween: Goo Goo Clusters are from Tennessee, not Alabama. Ashamed of you.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    Good on you, Richard B. Now is the time to bone up on your proofreading symbols so you can mark the pages correctly (there will be words in this book, won't there?). If you need help, go to the word "proofread" in Webster's and there is a list just waiting for you.


    Do not listen to your editor, the people who sign these books generally don't know shit. Make friends with the marketing manager who is assigned to your book and, of course, your publicist.

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Kid Twist Kid Twist
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    I bet Jennifer Anniston ends up in the movie version.
     Reply
    Kid Twist was starred Kid Twist was unstarred
    Image of tigolbitties tigolbitties
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    i know i'm slow, but the richard who posts is not the same as the richard who is making us fat??
     Reply
    tigolbitties was starred tigolbitties was unstarred
    Image of Richard Lawson Richard Lawson
    03/20/09

    @tigolbitties: Ha, no. We are, in fact, different people.
     Reply
    Richard Lawson was starred Richard Lawson was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    I looked at this site just yesterday and couldn't get through the first page. I wanted to barf.
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of jiminy.peep jiminy.peep
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    But I'm fat because of genetic condition.
     Reply
    jiminy.peep was starred jiminy.peep was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    03/20/09

    @jiminy.peep: Big boned?
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    03/20/09

    @jiminy.peep: Thinking that a 56oz. carton of Edy's is a single serving is not a genetic condition.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of blogissuchanuglyword blogissuchanuglyword
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    This promises to be a gripping read
     Reply
    blogissuchanuglyword was starred blogissuchanuglyword was unstarred
    Image of Richard Blakeley Richard Blakeley
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    That isn't carrot cake btw, it's meatloaf with potatoes and ketchup for icing.
     Reply
    Richard Blakeley was starred Richard Blakeley was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    03/20/09

    @blakeley: congratulations! I don't even think Elvis would have touched that meatloaf nightmare.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    03/20/09

    @blakeley: I was about to go buy lunch until I read that...
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of Mediokra Mediokra
    03/20/09

    @blakeley: I am impressed with the artful potato sculpting. Also, I think I might throw up soon.
     Reply
    Mediokra was starred Mediokra was unstarred
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    03/20/09

    @blakeley: I predict your book becomes a method of turning the carnivorous hordes into vegans. It'll be the Diet For New American, by John Robbins of the 21st Century.
     Reply
    PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    I'd like to toast the lucky people with my chicken salad and cous cous, which will never be a page in their book, but is still making me fat.


    Congratulations! May this be just the beginning of your future success.

     Reply
    PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of Astigmatism Astigmatism
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    This is why I'm poor.
     Reply
    Astigmatism was starred Astigmatism was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    03/20/09

    @Astigmatism: Because you can't write a book or because you've bought all the food on This is Why You're Fat?
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    I'm still trying to shop my own book: Tuesdays With Hippity. It's a compendium of every Gawker comment I ever posted on a Tuesday.


    If you know anyone who might be interested in publishing it, just give me a holler.

     Reply
    MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    03/20/09

    @MisterHippity: will there be any homespun, folksy, old mannish wisdom? Will you need to be on a park bench for the cover?
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    03/20/09

    @MisterHippity: Maybe we can shop our books together. My book, Lymed Is Writing A Book is an illustrated version of all the different Facebook like updates I've added to my handle as a commenter. The chapter on the days leading up to the bar exam is riveting: Lymed 20 days and counting, Lymed 19 days and counting, Lymed 18 days and counting...
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    03/20/09

    @MisterHippity: I'd buy it.
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of Strehle Strehle
    03/20/09

    @MisterHippity: Wouldn't you of all at least want Wednesdays instead of Tuesdays (think volume)?
     Reply
    Strehle was starred Strehle was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    03/20/09

    @Strehle: Hmmmmmm. You've got a point there.


    Wanna be my agent?

     Reply
    MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of shag_carpet_bomb shag_carpet_bomb
    03/20/09

    @MisterHippity: I would buy it too.
     Reply
    shag_carpet_bomb was starred shag_carpet_bomb was unstarred
    Image of Lizawithazee Lizawithazee
    03/20/09

    @MisterHippity: I would buy it if it was Wednesdays, the day of the PR and TC liveblogs. And then of course I'd look for any mention of me.
     Reply
    Lizawithazee was starred Lizawithazee was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    Ever go to a dollar store and see the cheap plastic toys hanging on the wall in thin sandwich-bag-like containers? I always wondered who made those, whose life's work it was to compose unloved little choke-size playthings out of barely-processed fossil fuels. My suspicion is that it's the same kind of people who put these fad blog books on the market.
     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of leonleonleon leonleonleon
    03/20/09

    @ADismalScience: China
     Reply
    leonleonleon was starred leonleonleon was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    03/20/09

    @ADismalScience:

    I sometimes wonder what the Bangladeshi factory wage slaves are thinking about while they're assembling the various parts to our sex toys.
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of mathnet mathnet
    03/20/09

    In reply to You May Be Fat, But They Have a Book Deal
    OH MY GOD THAT'S MEATLOAF
     Reply
    mathnet was starred mathnet was unstarred
    Image of RocketSurgeon RocketSurgeon
    03/20/09

    @mathnet: Meatcake. Beefcake?
     Reply
    RocketSurgeon was starred RocketSurgeon was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    03/20/09

    @RocketSurgeon:


    Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. Blakeley is living proof. Meatcake. MEATCAAAAAAAAKE!

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    03/20/09

    @mathnet: I know. I thought it was carrot cake, but it wasn't :(


    It's like that scene in The Crying Game where Jaye Davidson finally gets naked.

     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
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