See, there's been this recession, lately, and it has kinda fucked over a lot of people, around the country. Hit particularly hard: state governments, many of which are facing massive budget shortfalls. The worst state of all is California, which is just basically going to cease to exist in a month or two.

Mr. Douthat notices (or rather he noticed suburban sprawl advocate and anti-rail city scholar Joel Kotkin noticing) that many of the hardest hit states are "blue" states! The entire argument, basically, is that California is blowing up, and Texas is fine, and so therefore Democrats can't govern.

Of course, California (which has, we thought, a Republican governor?) is in so much trouble because they have no property taxes to speak of (the tax having been capped at an absurdly low rate back in 1978) (taxes might've harmed the robust and never-ending growth of their vibrant real estate sector!) and, last we checked, Texas was facing a $750 million shortfall in their unemployment fund until their governor was "forced" to accept something called "stimulus" money from the federal government (money that a majority of governors would like to receive more of!), and finally the entire existence of the deep red deeply fucked Deep South is sort of glossed over, but the fact that his argument is so specious is not even the point. The point is that Bill Kristol could've written something this tossed-off and stupid (though Kristol would not have diplomatically noted that "clearly part of the blame for the current crisis rests with decisions made in George W. Bush's Washington").

Adolf Hitler Campbell, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell were removed from their parents' home last Friday, shockingly for reasons other than their terrifically awful names. It also didn't have anything to do with the Great Birthday Cake Debacle (Wal-Mart acquiesced and made the cake. Of course they did.) Youth and Family Services had received a complaint about Heath and Deborah Campbell and, upon investigation, deemed that an extraction was the best measure.

Josef Stalin and Benito Mussolini Campbell, the family dogs, remain at home.

Image via AP

We are a lost generation, desperately clinging to anything that feels real, but too afraid to become it ourselves. We are a defeated generation, resigned to the hypocrisy of those before us, who once sang songs of rebellion and now sell them back to us. We are the last generation, a culmination of all previous things, destroyed by the vapidity that surrounds us. The hipster represents the end of Western civilization – a culture so detached and disconnected that it has stopped giving birth to anything new.

[Adbusters]

According to an unsolicited, totally undesired MySpace message I received yesterday from Little Scotty Mouthbreather himself (full chill-inducing text after the jump), our existentially-handicapped hiptard rapper friend will be appearing along with his "group" the V.I.P. Party Boys on tomorrow's "celeb rehab" episode of the Tyra Banks Show. Tyra, in her infinite wisdom, invited Scotty and the Party Boys onto the show to discuss the manner in which "sex and drugs get tangled with fame". And by fame, he means being the object of ridicule.

Hey Alex, First of all, I wanna thank you for helping launch my career as NYC nighlife personality/muse/chantuesse/rapstress. I owe you the best blow J. of your life!!!

I also wanna let you know that my rap group is having the best week ever and will be featured on the Tyra Show this Wed. along with Brigette Nelson, Dr. Drew and some dude from that band from the 90s 'Crazy Town'. Things get really nitty gritty!!!! so check it out!!!!

http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/thisweek/index.html

xoxoxox
Jonny Makeup aka Scotty Mouthbreath

PS Im soooo bummed that you arent doing Gawker anymore....I have some sweeeeet pics on me and my BFF Leotard out on the town in Miami!!!!!

[Horrible photograph of Little Scotty Mouthbreather a.k.a. Jonny Makeup via his MySpace page.]

Not every man can pull of a sequined American Flag vest left unbuttoned to betray just a glimpse of the delicious DJ open bar booze belly it barely contains, but Steve Aoki does so smashingly, even though he sort of looks like a Japanese tourist who likes to dress up as Keith Richards.

[The Cobrasnake. Make History photo #9478]

Whenever a remix of that "Y'all ready for this?" song from Jock Jams comes on, this guy turns into a big flaming purple and green Hulk who derives his strength from Swimclass Floaties and absolutely SMASHES the dance floor.

[The Cobrasnake. ?? photo #0614]

10.The Cobrasnake. Holiday Crutches photo #8283: On most people, that t-shirt would be ironic.

9.The Cobrasnake. Christmas Pash photo #7946: Someone might want to break the bad news to these girls that Santa and the Elves can't wrap up attention and put it under their trees.

8. Last Night's Party. Le Baron photo #0078: Sometimes, when I'm doing this job every week, I see pictures of people like this guy, and a little voice in my heart whispers, "I wish we could be best friends forever."

7. The Cobrasnake. Christmas Pash photo #7833: Yeah he looks like a greeting card from 5 years ago in Hipsterville, but you've got to admit, it's pretty adorable when college freshmen first discover The Strokes.

6. Nicky Digital. Loose @ Vine Bar photo #69878: "Chill" indeed.

5. The Cobrasnake. Holiday Crutches photo #8343: "Brooo, those 3-D glasses are SO rad. When you, like, look in the mirror, do you actually see not one, but THREE dicknoses?"

4. Last Night's Party. Le Baron photo #1490: This is why hipster fashion ambiguity must be stopped. Sure, sometimes it's all fun and games with the ironic shirts and wacky 80's sunglasses, but before you know it, you've got a terrifying Sex Instructor In A Tiger Hat on your hands, and people really start to get hurt (raped).

3. The Cobrasnake. Greater Then photo #0106: I'm not a violent guy, and I know this chick is just screwing around, but I secretly like to fantasize that she was warbling some shitty Joanna Newsom rip-off acoustic poem and someone finally just came up and punched her in the face.

2. The Cobrasnake. Christmas Pash photo #7880: I think this guy's stylist must be a colorblind ex-raver who ecstasied himself into non-functioning retardation.

1. The Cobrasnake. Holiday Crutches photo #8385: Jesus Christ, scary sequined nightmare Santa vest. It's fucking Christmas, would you please just knock it off?

10.Drunken Stepfather. Steve Aoki pees in Montreal video: Steve Aoki is so busy pressing buttons and playing Daft Punk tracks off his laptop that he DOESN'T HAVE TIME to go to the bathroom. That's how dedicated he is to whatever it is that he does.

9.The Cobrasnake. Panty Sale photo #9674: But it makes sense, because Aoki's dicking around in the DJ booth is, like, so rad, and so powerful, that it's turned this dude into a what a douchebag would look like as an animated cartoon, not to mention the effect it's having on the two guys in the background, who are in the middle of a full-on earth-shattering Aokigasm.

8. Nicky Digital. Censorship is Weak As Fuck Art Show photo #68374: As an abstract concept, censorship may indeed be "weak as fuck", but when applied to every tardbot at this party and all the dumb stuff they're probably doing and saying, I'd argue that it can be awesome as fuck sometimes, too.

7. The Cobrasnake. Panty Sale photo #9790: I sincerely hope, for our future, they had a 3-way later that night and he got both of them pregnant, with twins.

6. The Cobrasnake. Pash Is Back photo #7633: You know, a tattooed old sugar daddy who tans a lot and acts wacky whenever someone takes his picture really is the perfect accessory.

5. The Cobrasnake & Nicky Digital. I think the hipsters are trying to tell us something: I love how hipsters refuse to conform to the fashions of others.

4. Last Night's Party. Paris Miami photo #9480: You know what, thank God for "Mystery" and his posse of pick-up artistic geniuses, because a world without them, would be a world without this guy. And I don't want to live in that world.

3. The Cobrasnake. Factory Fleamarket photo #7623: It's missing the Misshapes, but otherwise this could almost be a photographic modern Mt. Rushmore, looking down on the whole retarded generation of suburban refugees they suckered into believing that the hipster-junkie lifestyle as seen in Vice Magazine and The Cobrasnake was some kind of "cool underground art scene" they too could be a part of if they moved to New York and bought blank neon t-shirts and tube socks at American Apparel, which is ironically where most of them now work and waste what little extra money is left over after supporting the growing coke habit necessary to keep their non-existent dreams alive.

2. The Cobrasnake. Pash Is Back photo #7676: I think Vigo from the evil painting in "Ghostbusters II" may have finally escaped from his canvas prison and re-invented himself as a swinging LA scenester who wears gold jackets and loves redheads.

1. The Cobrasnake. Ima Robot Vacation photo #0574: Wouldn't it be great if this match made in hipster heaven actually met on Craigslist? "Hawaiian-Print Prince Seeks Princess - m4w/Hi, my name's Rick, and I'm looking for someone who takes wearing outlandish flower-print clothing, funny hats, and crazy eyeglasses as seriously as I do. I don't really have any hobbies or interests other than dressing myself up all ridiculous, and just wandering around so people can look at me and take pictures. I do sometimes enjoy backgammon, but only when played in the middle of a crowded public place, while dressed like a rainforest. Please write back if you're interested (and aggressively try to look as stupid as possible at all times)."

Previously: Hijinx Ensue

10.The Cobrasnake. Outback Steakbus photo #8759: Steve Aoki? More like Steve Ao-wacky! Am I right?

9.Last Night's Party. Los Moscow photo #7139: According to her MySpace profile, her interests include sparkly hats, rapper jewelry and loneliness.

8. Last Night's Party. Los Moscow photo #7177: I don't know, I guess I feel like her "giant flaming skull with eagle wings" chest tattoo just doesn't really go with that Victoria's Secret Valentine's Day bra with hearts all over it.

7. The Cobrasnake. Mobile Disco photo #9475: This photograph makes me want to high-five whoever invented abortions.

6. Last Night's Party. The Hills photo #5687: If you've ever wanted to do it with a saucy hipster college chick in leather pants on top of some Puerto Rican's Toyota Corolla, you're really going to enjoy this picture.

5. Nicky Digital. Partying All Night Long video: Do you like "partying"? Do you also enjoy hotel rooms? Then perhaps you will want to watch this video of some random people "partying" in a hotel room.

4. Last Night's Party. The Hills photo #8064: Dear guy on the left-hand side of this picture - your hat is amazing. The multitude of colors and skulls and words written in DJ-fonts emblazoned upon this mesh headpiece favored by transportation industry professionals tells me that you're a man with a superior sense of sophistication and style. It's really no wonder you get to hang out with such awesome people.

3. The Cobrasnake. Bandits On The Run photo #9814: There should be a Saturday morning cartoon about these two called "Dweezle and Big Red", where they live together and get into crazy adventures trying to pull things over on Winston the Wackymart manager, and hijinx ensue.

2. Last Night's Party. The Hills photo #8642: Listen, weird mystical scenester guy: I enjoyed those 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies too. Johnny Depp's whole "Mick Jagger-as-pirate" shtick is pretty awesome, but that doesn't mean we should all run out and start dressing ourselves up like Johnny Depp. He can get away with the whole "Parisian bohemian poet from the 30's" thing because he's Johnny Depp, but when you do it, everyone just rolls their eyes and thinks you're an asshole.

1. Last Night's Party. Los Moscow photo #7179: Man, I wish you guys would start a shitty indie rock/punkclash/danceska band with a retarded name like "Sausage Chins" and make god-awful music about thrift store shopping and shit. Oh, you already did? I never would have guessed that.

Previously: "Here's Some Junkie Rubbing A Popsicle All Over Her Face While Purple Drool Drips Down Onto Her Shirt"

10.The Cobrasnake. Rockinized Chicken photo #6011: It's almost beautiful how unaware Doucheylocks is of how ridiculously ridiculous he looks.

9.The Cobrasnake. Fresh Prince of Bel Air photo #4986: "Hi, we're twelve year-old rich kids in Los Angeles. We love Kanye, we're too busy doing whatever we see on television to bother brushing our teeth, and we want to be ridiculed by other people when we grow up."

8. Last Night's Party. Popsickle video: Here's some junkie rubbing a popsicle all over her face while purple drool drips down onto her shirt. HOT!

7. The Cobrasnake. Steve Aoki Sydney photo #7029: I think this girl might actually be made entirely out of cocaine.

6. The Cobrasnake. Don't Touch Me photo set: I'm not sure what's going on in this photo set, but I think the hipster tardmongers may be trying to make goth cool or stylish somehow. Fingers crossed.

5. Last Night's Party. VHS SOS photo #4848: Right after moving into the NYU dorm, The Three Urbanoutfiteers decided to celebrate their foray into the world of New York City hipsterdom with their VERY FIRST TATTOO! Aren't they so cute?

4. Last Night's Party.Homeless photo #4381: I love when random nightclub DJ groupie bimbos tack on a couple of wacky ironic accessories and try to pretend they're "indie" or whatever, and weren't just snorting cock of some Rockstar Energy Drink rep at Marquee last week.

3. The Cobrasnake. Churro Juicer photo #8718: Here's a classic specimen for another round of everyone's favorite Blue States Lose game: "Hipster, Homeless, or Alcoholic House Painter?" The paint-stained fingers, slobbering expression of total incoherence, old mesh hat, and flannel shirt suggest one of the latter two options, but what are we to make of the little indie rock pin and crazy indie t-shirt? The answer is he is actually all three: a homeless hipster alcoholic who wanted to be an artist but now just paints houses. Thanks for playing, and until next time!

2. Last Night's Party. BJ Panda Bear video: I don't know if I even need to say this, but you should all be subscribing to Last Night's Party Guy's YouTube Channel. If you didn't think it could get any better than popsicle girl, well just feast your peepers on this piece of cinema, an epic Odyssey-like adventure through an underground hipster party in which our protagonist must survive wasted chicks blowing bubbles and eating marshmallow spread, a horde of photographers' flash-bulbs, and two girls making out on his journey the weird Asian guy all tied up with electrical tape he's been so desperately seeking.

1. Nicky Digital. Ruff Club photo #64555: This is actually one of those hidden 3-D pictures. If you relax your eyes and stare at it long enough, you'll see all the hope and joy you had left in your heart sucked into an infinite existential void, then tortured to death and raped in front of your family.

10.Last Night's Party. Red Bull Without A Cause photo #2025: Unless you're a college freshman McSweeney's groupie chick who's into 3-ways, even one of this guy is way too many.

9.The Cobrasnake. Dont Stop Camping photo #2869: I think the hipster photographers should get together and put out an annual wall calendar of wasted 19 year-old scenester chicks sitting on filthy sidewalks in front of random closed-up bodegas (sometimes near a pile of vomit). Because we see a lot of these shots, and each of them are every bit as adorable as a kitten in a laundry basket wearing an Army helmet.

8. Last Night's Party. mtvU photo #3465: Nice hat and emo expression, you fucking douchebag. You look like a gay bear riverboat gambler on lithium.

7. The Cobrasnake. mtvU photo #2919: Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

6. Nicky Digital. Gallery M photo #63219: Shhhh...he's quietly wishing people would take him more seriously.

5. The Cobrasnake. Time Bomb photo #5206: Look if you get date-raped by this guy, and you didn't want to, it's really your own fault. I mean, the coke glasses, the stubble, the member's only jacket, the "I will date rape you" expression - is there any way he could possibly be more upfront about this?

4. The Cobrasnake. 24 Hour Paper Store photo #4773: Lohan must've swan dived off the wagon again, because there's no way in hell a sober person would ever willingly hang out with someone who has THAT haircut, yet clearly still takes themselves very seriously. He's one of those magical LA people who seem completely ridiculous to the naked eye, but suddenly turns into a fascinating artist and genius something-designer as soon as you're coked out of your skull at some famous DJ's party.

3. Nicky Digital. Gallery M photo #63244: "Oh my goodness, Sasha! Those purple sparkly spankex, and that Strawberry Shortcake OshKosh B'Gosh blouse, and your little disco purse full of cocaine, and the necklace made out of old combs - girl, you're so fabulous, I could just EAT YOU!"

2. Nicky Digital. Six Six Sick photo #63252: Someone just learned the hard way that YOU DO NOT EVER touch Francis Fonzie's hot pink earmuffs. Ever.

1. The Cobrasnake. Jumping Beans photo #7581: It's nice to see today's hipster kids finally paying some fucking respect to Jesse the Retarded VJ Guy From MTV. His 15 minutes may have ended long ago, but he blazed the trail for the "dressing and and acting like an autistic crystal meth addict" scene that's so cool today, because he was doing that shit back when the Cobrasnake was still taking snap shots of his goth high school friends at some mall in the burbs. Jesse is pretty much the Chuck Berry of everything that sucks today.

10.Ambrel. Halloween photo #2676: I tend to find the hipster photoblogs to be - somewhat ironically - less frightening around Halloween, because it's the one time of the year where EVERYONE is dressed up in ridiculous costumes, which sort of takes the shock out of seeing some naked dude who's painted his entire body neon pink and has a giant glowstick hanging out of his ass just because its a Wednesday night. Which is why I've got to give it up to the couple on the right in this picture for STILL managing to scare the fucking shit out of me.

9.The Cobrasnake. October Octupus photo #1185: This guy actually went out of his way to dress himself up as a fashion-handicapped child molester whose entire life revolves around taking point-and-click pics of wasted scenesters? This is esentially a costume of a costume, or what it would have looked like if MC Escher drew stuff that was retarded.

8. Ambrel. Halloween photo #2554: Um, I'm not really getting this one. Slutty Incognito Girl Who Shits Hair?

7. The Cobrasnake. October Octopus photo #0551: Ok, time for a fun holiday game called "Hipster or Halloween Costume?" Is this a person who is dressed up for Halloween, or is it a messy-haired hipster who chose to leave the house in a wolf jacket and big silly glasses just for the hell of it? ANSWER: Trick question! It's a guy whose Halloween costume IS a Hipster, bearing a pretty decent likeness to our old friend Kid's Meal. At least that's what I think he's doing.

6. Ambrel. Paper Nightlife Awards photo #2251: So I heard The Cobrasnake won "best nightlife photographer" in Paper's annual awards show recognizing NYC "Nightlife" and the comically-deluded sense of importance of the people who are a part of it. Nikola, if you're ready to get serious about this whole hipster photography thing, I recommend you cool it with the "artful, aesthetically-pleasing pictures" stuff, invest in some fannypacks, and start taking some poorly-composed snap shots of high school girls on heroin nodding off into their pizza.

5. Nicky Digital. All Hallow's Madness @ Judson Church photo #62103: Reenacting your own birth is not only a creative Halloween costume, it's also a great way to come to better terms with hating your parents for everything that is now wrong with you.

4. Last Night's Party. The Beautiful photo #9811: I don't even think this is a costume. I think Carl the Guy Who Sadistically Tortures And Kills People Then Buries Them In The Crawl Space Under His House only leaves his demonic blood dungeon once a year, on Halloween, because it's the one night he can be who he is.

3. Nicky Digital. All Hallow's Madness @ Judson Church photo #62208: Ok, "Hipster or Halloween Costume?" Round 2! Is this a group of friends dressed up in 80's Zombies costumes, or are these hipsters who just can't fucking get enough face paint and neon clothing? ANSWER: Hipsters! The people in this picture are actually the members of an unsuccessful indie rock electro-dance band called Disco Is Dead.

2. Ambrel. Paper Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #2271: I was actually supposed to cover the Paper Nightlife Awards for Gawker again this year, but had another thing come up that I felt was more important (turned out there was a marathon of MacGuyver re-runs on TBS that night) and ultimately couldn't make it. So you can imagine the disappointment and regret I felt the next day when I looked at this picture and saw exactly what I had missed.

1. Ambrel. Halloween photo #2683: Whatever, EVERYONE went as a Slutty Rape Victim this year.

10.The Cobrasnake. Chichgo Side Dish photo #8088: The title of girlie blogger Stephanie Klein's terrible book finding its way onto a hipster T-shirt is sort of like AIDS and the Holocaust having a kid together.

9.The Cobrasnake. Fools Gold photo #8412: Imagine Moby. Then imagine if Moby were somehow even lamer, wearing a polka dot hoodie, horrible ironic sunglasses that made him look like a pervy white version of Data from Star Trek, and had a whole bunch of chest fur peeking out from a yellow American Apparel V-neck. Now imagine, if you can, that this horrifying scenario was real, and documented in photograph.

8. The Cobrasnake. Yurman Jungle photo #9516: I hate it when I'm out at parties and all the most interesting and original people have been seated together.

7. Last Night's Party. I Love It Here photo #8559: I've been waiting a long time for the whole Frilly Neck Sash thing to finally come back, so I couldn't be any more pleased to see these two young dandies blazing the trail for all the elegant doily-collared people of the future!

6. The Cobrasnake. Yurman Jungle photo #9735: If you can actually catch one of the fabled Striped-shirted Hippie Bandanna Hipsters with a Rollie Fingers Moustache, he will magically turn into a million dollars.

5. The Cobrasnake. Fools Gold photo #8763: Looks like this guy decided to give his "Stroke" Halloween Costume a little test drive before the big day.

4. Nicky Digital. James Murphy @ Hiro photo #60261: I always like to see people who seem to have modeled their entire personal style around that "Hollywood" character from Mannequin.

3. The Cobrasnake. Yurman Jungle photo #9565: Could these two Original Scenesters possibly do anything else to make their style more flawlessly on-point and just...I dunno, right? Maybe just a tiny bit more pit stain from the guy on the left, and these two party vets are pitching a perfect game.

2. The Cobrasnake. Chichgo Side Dish photo #7720: Back in his early Bedford Avenue retail days, DJ Radness Dangertough was named Mr. Williamsburg 3 years in a row. Then he decided to pack up his PBR's, ironic mullet and vintage Metal t-shirts, and take his Hipster: Millennium Multimedia Roadshow across country, giving teenage Vice readers in the Midwest the rare opportunity to behold one of New York's last remaining spectacles of tired cliche circa 2002, live and in 3-D!

1. The Cobrasnake. Chichgo Side Dish photo #7721: "Oh, goodness me! Whatever are you doing here, camera man?!? This is my lover, Captain Grumpus McDoodle. We were just about to get married again! I'm positively snickerdoodled that you'd want to take a picture of little old me! I just wish I would have known, because I hardly even put anything on before running out of the house tonight. Anyway, stick around, because Captain Grumpus and I are going to need someone to photograph our wedding and capture the beauty of our love!"

10.Last Night's Party. Style Wars photo #7280: I love the fashion catastrophes that are clearly the result of an overzealous design student, such as this young lady who, in a fit of passionate stylistic inspiration, arrived at the idea to put together a little number consisting of boxing gloves that perpetually cup her breasts, and household scissors haphhazardly jammed into the front of her pants. Sad thing is she got a B.

9.Last Night's Party. Style Wars photo #7340: Hey NYU Freshman Princesses From the Suburbs, I know you girls are all excited about swan diving into the downtown party scene you've been reading so much about in Nylon or Teen Vogue or whatever, but if you're going to show up to the big dance, you're gonna need to cover your face with clown make-up and sparkles, because this half-assed Little League Umpire In A Tiara shit ain't gonna cut it.

8. Last Night's Party. Heists photo #7665: Oh yeah? Well why don't you go (whatever the symbol is for being a worthless walking cliche who is utterly wasting perfectly good air) YOUR own city, which we all know is probably in Missouri or something.

7. The Cobrasnake. Sidekick LX In Effect photo #2758: How sad that the sum total of a person's entire life could add up to this.

6. The Cobrasnake. Sixteen Candles photo #0458: Steve Aoki is apparently available for birthday parties and Bar Mitzvahs. Here's Little Miss Super Sweet Sixteen and her folks, who apparently thought it was a good idea to blow a few grand on having a junkie laptop master playing hits from the hipster Top 40 while some pervy creep takes pictures of all their daughter's teenage friends. Way to go, LA parents!

5. Last Night's Party. Style Wars photo #7345: It looks like American Apparel FINALLY got around to making the inevitable Glittery Generic Overpriced T-shirt, and someone couldn't be any more thrilled.

4. Last Night's Party. Style Wars photo #7412: Count Igor Facetious is a magical goth troll who lives under the Williamsburg bridge, emerging only at night to torment unsuspecting passers-by with his tinseled hair and diabolical beauty. According to downtown legend, he has sex with rainbows, never sleeps and only eats disco balls.

3. The Cobrasnake. Fashion Circus photo #1375: Lydia Hearst landed a big modeling gig for the daring new fashion line "Unwashed Zombie Homeless Person Covered In Puke."

2. Last Night's Party. Style Wars photo #6140: You insensitive bile-mongers wouldn't be laughing so hard if you knew that Little Orange Retardedhood's stylist is an autistic person.

1. Last Night's Party. Style Wars photo #7357: Let's take a moment and try to figure out just what in the hell is going on here. I'm going to go with "Neon Jazzercise Gangbang", which looks even more disconcerting than it sounds. Also that guy on the left might be the greatest thing I've ever seen in the long sordid history of this column. Either way, this is my new desktop wallpaper.

Nothing personal—we're sure the Chad Vader folks are very nice, even though they refer to Madison's "quirkiness"—but "grainy car-bombing tapes" turned into "slick hip-hop videos" sounds way more sickly intriguing than yet more joyless sketch comedy.

Also Khan has his own "Blue States Lose"!

His neatly organized site also includes a file called "United States of Losers," which showcased a recent news broadcast about a firefight in Afghanistan with this added commentary from Mr. Khan: "You can even see an American soldier hiding during the ambush like a baby!! AllahuAkbar! AllahuAkbar!"

In a City Far, Far Away From Hollywood, the YouTube Tales of a Lesser Vader [NYT]
An Internet Jihad Aims at U.S. Viewers [NYT]

10.Last Night's Party. Crash Pad photo #6337: Fake David Cross is on the loose again, he's in Miami, and he needs to be brought to justice before he does irreperable damage to a beloved comedian's reputation!

9.The Cobrasnake. Sample Socks photo #9136: "Hi there, The Cobrasnake. I'm Steve, and as you can see from the edgy font on my designer t-shirt, the wicker tribal fedora I'm wearing, the dogtag necklace with artful symbols I picked up at H&M, and the leather rockstar wristband I'm holding up here, I've been practicing how to be real hipster, just like you guys. So I just wanted to say hi, cause soon as I find the right vintage stores and figure out which cool hipster costume is best for my "look", you're gonna be seeing a lot more of me, my friend. Anybody want a Parliament Light?"

8. Ambrel. L Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #0323: Are we supposed to know that Fall is finally here when Josh's chest decides to hibernate for the winter?

7. The Cobrasnake. Sample Socks photo #9623: I'd pay good money to for someone take this killer to Oakland so we could see what would happen if you dropped him off in the middle of the drunkest part of Raider Nation during a night game against the 'Niners.

6. The Cobrasnake. Another Day In Paris Dice photo #9742: I love how Old Man Beltbuckle on the right there is so daringly pushing the envelope of acceptability with his bold choice to wear trendy sunglasses that AREN'T Ray-Bans. You've got to take chances in life, people, and sometimes when you do, your bravery is rewarded by having something other than 15 years seperating from your young hipster friends.

5. Ambrel. L Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #0309: And here's the L Nightlife Award Winner for "Best Reason Why I Never Want To Go Out At Night Anymore".

4. The Cobrasnake. Detention Detour photo #9008/a>: Hey, how about you guys cool it with the colorful Cobra Kai hoodies, and really blow everyone's minds by making "someone who's not an idiot" your Halloween costumes this year?

3. Ambrel. Slingback photo #9903: It would seem as if our Leto-like friend here got into a fight with a propeller on his way back from the Mac costmetics counter. But at least the cumberbun survived.

2. Ambrel. Slingback photo #9763: I don't know what's going on in this guything's head, but I'm certain his apartment is full of those tiny Good Luck Figurines painted to look like cannibalistic death metal bands. And bodies probably.

1. Ambrel. L Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #0350: I've finally seen enough of this horrorshow to warrant giving him his own name as a coping mechanism, to somehow make this less real. I'm leaning towards Halle Hairy, but open to suggestion - thoughts?

10.The Cobrasnake. Colette Colette photo #6349: I've just received word from the front lines of fabulousness, and here's the latest decree from our beloved Princess Coldstare:

Smiling like a human being capable of experiencing genuine happiness - IN
Half-smiling, half-sneering, like you know something everyone else doesn't - SO 5 MINUTES AGO
Not smiling under any circumstances, like a person whose miserable, superficial life is completely devoid of joy - OUT

9.The Cobrasnake. Wad Mag Paris photo #9286: This guy is amazing. He should have his own comic strip in the Sunday morning funny pages called "Bernard McBloom, The Happy Mad Scientist" that's all about the crazy experiments he does with neon, which always get hilariously ruined by his mischievous Asian lab assistant.

8. Ambrel. Rated X photo #7751: Is that Vh1's douche-artist Mystery? And is this his secret to getting laid all the time, going to porny hipster parties and finding wayward junkies spazzing out in some kind of K-hole, then letting them wear his ridiculous fuzzy hat until they agree to come to his secret underground lair of sleazy desperation?

7. The Cobrasnake. September 31st photo #0114: If you somehow managed to miss his exhaustive publicity campaign announcing that Mark Ronson is now a "real musician" and no longer "just another DJ", you may not be able to fully appreciate the significance of this prodigal scenester returning home to the hipster photoblogs, where he was an Aoki-esque Mangod even before he started creating "beat masterpieces" for Christina Aguilera. It's just too bad his newfound importance makes him feel so awkward now, because he looks like he's straining to not take a shit.

6. Last Night's Party. Neighborhood photo #1462: It may be obvious and easy, but really, how could humanity have allowed this to happen? I need to know.

5. The Cobrasnake. Good In Da Neighborhood photo #9422: You know that Hollywood cliche about the overprotective dad who is horrified by his teenage daughter's outfit and yells "You're not leaving this house in THAT!" Well, what about teenage boys? Do dads just not give a shit about them? If I had a son, and he came out of his room looking like this dick clown, I would punch him in the face until he learned not to dress like an asshole, or until child services finally hauled me off, whichever came first.

4. Last Night's Party. Young Hollywood photo #1376: You may very well be in some imaginary cartoon kingdom called "Miami" where everyone dresses like Run LSDMC and drinks purple cocktails while throwing up gang sings to establish their superior freshness, but here in Reality you look like a college sketch group pretending to be hip-hop dickwads.

3. Nicky Digital. Loaded @ Lotus photo #58692: I've always wondered, do people wear ensembles like this more than once? Are his friends like, "Geez Frankie - the burlesque lashes, diamond choker, handcuff necklace and leather clown suit held together by safety pins AGAIN!?! Really?"

2. Last Night's Party. Colette Colette photo #6140: I never even bother making fun of The Cobrasnake Guy anymore because looking ridiculous is just what he does. It's who he is. But a sequined vest on which the American flag is being eaten by sparkles? That's just too far, even for him. In fact it's treason, and people have been sent to Gitmo for much less. Why can't our Orwellian government can't be evil dicks when we actually need them?

1. Nicky Digital. Loaded @ Lotus photo #58623: It's always funny when frat guys take X and end up going right for the kinds of Walking Carnival Trannies they would usually be taunting on the street with their friends. Now that his serotonin levels are flying at ludicrous speed, Todd's just thinking, "I just want to eat up every last bite of your shiny neon-clad, face-painted, post-apocalyptic body!"

Previously: Flock Of D-Bags