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New York, 2:06 AM
Thu Dec 3
50 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    This is off topic, but what did Goebbels mean when he said, "If we are attacked, we can only defend ourselves with guns, not butter"?
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of nickcarroway nickcarroway
    03/09/09

    @aurora*raby: He actually said, "If we are attacked, we can only defend ourselves with buns and butter." He was insane.
     Reply
    nickcarroway was starred nickcarroway was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    03/09/09

    @nickcarroway: Ach du Lieber. Brotchen und Butter. Die ist eine Luge. Someone has been reading Pravda again.
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of nickcarroway nickcarroway
    03/09/09

    @aurora*raby: Ha! You guys crack me up; that's why I hang around. But as my German is functionally nonfunctional, Did you call me a sled?
     Reply
    nickcarroway was starred nickcarroway was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    03/09/09

    @nickcarroway: No. I couldn't get the umlaut over the "u" to work. I called you the same thing I call all my other scrumptious little Bavarian creams: a liar!
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @aurora*raby: German Semmelknödel (bread dumplings) can and are sometimes classified as weapons. When that general said that an army "travels on its stomach," he was talking about what happens when an army eats these lead-heavy dumplings. The maximum number of Semmelknödel that have ever been eaten in a sitting lasting no longer than three hours -- as measured by the State Ministry of Agriculture for the Bundesland of Baden-Württemberg -- was three.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of nickcarroway nickcarroway
    03/09/09

    @aurora*raby: I am irrationally exuberant regarding this whimsical thread of posts.
     Reply
    nickcarroway was starred nickcarroway was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle: As a little girl growing up in the Black Forest, I ate nothing but Dr. Oetker kartoffle knodle and raspberry pudding, which I still wear proudly on my thighs. I'd love to be invited to your next dinner party!
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    03/09/09

    @nickcarroway: Irrational? You'd love my mother -- the former Fraulein Goble von Wildheim -- who always told me to put my hand over my mouth when I yawned so that devils wouldn't fly out of it.
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    03/09/09

    @aurora*raby:


    You, aurora, are a Black Forest ham.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    03/09/09

    @aurora*raby: Goebbels and butter -- I feel a Richard Gere joke coming on.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of xtine_xtine xtine_xtine
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    Does she get the 10 million back? Damn, that must have been a good F*&$.


    I mean seriously, who cares who you sleep with nowadays? She should have let him try to expose the video and then went to the police when he first blackmailed her. What an idiot.

     Reply
    xtine_xtine was starred xtine_xtine was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    03/09/09

    @xtine_xtine: No shit. If she plays her cards right, she could be photographed playing tonsil hockey with a young Hollywood star about this time next year.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    FINANCE JOKE WARNING


    This seems like a bad time to be setting up a Quandt fund.

     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    03/09/09

    @SidAndFinancy:


    ...or to put on her Black-Scholed dancing shoes. Hypothetically sprechen of course.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Nice way to parlay that into a German pun.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle:


    It left a bitte taste in my mouth...

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: HA!
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    She's a fairly good looking fifteen billionaire. She can't hook up with a smooth talker that doesn't look like a contestant on "What's my line?"
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    03/09/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Is she bigger than a breadbox?
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    Wooed and screwed, or "vooed and schkrewed," as it were.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Mymoustache Mymoustache
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    The other two victims? Patty Hitler and Marsha Goering.
     Reply
    Mymoustache was starred Mymoustache was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    03/09/09

    @Mymoustache: Huh. I thought I read in Der Spiegel it was Megan Mengele and Cindy Lou Himmler?
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Kari's Favorite Mark Kari's Favorite Mark
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    Man, imagine having your wife leave you for the second most evil person in the world. That's gotta kill the self-esteem.
     Reply
    Kari's Favorite Mark was starred Kari's Favorite Mark was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    03/09/09

    @formerly it takes a lot to laugh: And didn't she kill herself and murder her six children in the Fuehrer's bunker in honor of Adolph? When they divied up the friends on separation, bet Gunther scored the most of them.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    03/09/09

    @Tremonius: That's correct. She tucked them in and slipped them each a little cyanide pill. The oldest one was the only one to put up a struggle. I'd say Gunther was glad to be rid of her once that news became known.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    03/09/09

    @Tremonius: @BookishLookish: For context, Goebbels ALSO took the cyanide, and then had his lieutenants douse their bodies with gasoline and burn them all so the Allies couldn't, like, DO stuff to/with their remains once they were captured.


    Goebbels also liked to rail on about the cowardice of the Poles and Russians who killed themselves rather than fall victim to the Nazis. It would be almost poetic if it weren't so fucked up.

     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    do all swiss people wear those emo hipster rectangle glasses?
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    First he gives her the ol' drive shaft, then just the shaft.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    03/09/09

    @scroll_lock: May God have mercy on his solenoid.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    @blix: Now she's sorry she gave him the boot.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    03/09/09

    @scroll_lock: She's better off without him. He's just a common hood.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    @blix: She needs a little time to reflect and get her bearings.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    03/09/09

    @scroll_lock: Her situation does choke me up a little.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    @blix: I heard she preferred the engine mount.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of DonLaFontaine DonLaFontaine
    03/09/09

    @scroll_lock:


    I tried to blackmail a German shipping heiress once and she ended up giving me "das boot."

     Reply
    DonLaFontaine was starred DonLaFontaine was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    03/09/09

    @blix: Yeah, well, that made her only a hood ornament.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    @DonLaFontaine: She must've blown a gasket.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    03/09/09

    @scroll_lock: Don't you ever get tired of these puns? I mean really, must we retread all of this again and again?
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of kjack kjack
    03/09/09

    @DonLaFontaine: I heard that after he mounted her german gear box, he piston the bed.
     Reply
    kjack was starred kjack was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    @Private Hangnail: So you think we've exhaust-ed the premise?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of DonLaFontaine DonLaFontaine
    03/09/09

    @kjack: @scroll_lock:


    I tried to leave and she told me to "put it in first."

     Reply
    DonLaFontaine was starred DonLaFontaine was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    03/09/09

    @scroll_lock: Well, I hate to horn in, but don't you find your work is taking a backseat to your commenting?
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    03/09/09

    @DonLaFontaine: Don't be a spoiler, tell us the whole story.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    Compared to the goings-on at Bayerische Manierismus-Werke, the scandals at Baden-Württemberg are more classically restrained.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @iplaudius: I would say that there is a tendency to a lush, rococo-like ornamentation in Bavarian Skandalen.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle: Yes, come to think of it, I’ve never done anything scandalous there without the concomitant gilded molding, painted harpsichord, and at least one pearl necklace.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @iplaudius: In Baden-Württemberg, the prerequisites for one's becoming naughty are Bauhaus-designed furniture, little ornamentation and typefaces designed by Herbert Bayer.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle: And tiny glasses. Very, very tiny. They said my living-cube was outré, because I had placed original copies of Die Reihe and Tschichold’s Die neue Typographie and Die Proportionen des Buches on the same shelf. Shocking! Luckily, my CD collection was hidden from view, else I’d have had a hard time explaining why recordings of the London Bach outnumbered those of his father’s music.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @iplaudius: She removed her Comme des Garçons blouse under which she wore no undergarments, and I proceeded to turn on Stockhausen on my Grundig sound system. Edeltraut's Teutonic body was flawless, with beautiful white down on her sun-kissed skin. She had patiently brought it to outward and inward perfection in those many idyllic years in her village's Turnverein, and had never given up exercise. As the crescendo of the twelve tones arranged in a serial row according to stringent principles from mathematic physics grew louder, she and I also reached heights of pleasure that we've never reached before and never shall reach again.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle: She ignored my stupid and obvious pun: pathetic, as she had reason to be impressed neither by my wealth nor my fashion sense; meaningless, as no man has a "helmet" that could ever be described as "long"; deplorable, for it was, as you point out, Rei Kawakubo. "No," she said. "But you shall indeed wear something gay and Viennese!" And with that and a flash of her wrist she emptied her Grinzing spritzer on my white poplin blazer, turned around, and walked out of my life forever—and into your arms, you lucky bastard.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    Baroque sex scandals are interesting, but I would much rather prefer a high-renaissance or mannerist one.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle: The expressionist ones are the best, because they're so emphatic.
     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
    Image of resipsaloquacious resipsaloquacious
    03/09/09

    I prefer Rococo myself, or is it Rococko?@Colonel Mustard:
     Reply
    resipsaloquacious was starred resipsaloquacious was unstarred
    Image of Kid Twist Kid Twist
    03/09/09

    @Colonel Mustard: The worst are the Rubenesque ones. No fat chicks!!
     Reply
    Kid Twist was starred Kid Twist was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    03/09/09

    @resipsaloquacious: Rococo. Gilded sex scandals for everyone!
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    03/09/09

    @Colonel Mustard: I prefer the Cubists, because nobody knows what to do and to whom.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    03/09/09

    @Tremonius: I was involved in a surrealist sex scandal once, and someone tried to put their train in my fireplace.
     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    03/09/09

    @Colonel Mustard: Well, that's probably illegal in Texas. You know they have, or had, a law that required of any two trains arriving at a junction to each cut steam and "neither can move until the other is gone."


    They did an art study in one of their schools down there (East Mississippi Barbers, in Tulip, TX) and found that Surrealism would be superflous in Texas.

     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Forgetitjake Forgetitjake
    03/09/09

    @i'm a bottle:

    I was disappointed to read the Times article and learn that the cameraman who filmed them having sex did so while concealed in an adjacent hotel room. Not an especially Baroque way for middle-aged Eurotrash to get their Baroques off! Baroque should be a great writhing pile of naked, in your face, in public, in church.
     Reply
    Forgetitjake was starred Forgetitjake was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    03/09/09

    @Colonel Mustard: Oh, I think I was there. I was the one holding the large ham. By the way, Colonel, nice...melting...clock.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    03/09/09

    @BookishLookish: You don't think my "This is not a pipe" pick-up line was too much, do you?


    @FORGETITJAKE: I believe that's exactly what the conservatives fear is in store for us, under the presidency of Baroque Obama.

     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    03/09/09

    @FORGETITJAKE: With angels and babies flying around, pearls and porphyry.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of everfade everfade
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    He should've just settled for the 10 million. You live, you learn I guess.
     Reply
    everfade was starred everfade was unstarred
    Image of Macloserboy Macloserboy
    03/09/09

    @everfade: Seriously. How is getting $10M for having sex with someone and lying not enough of a payoff!?!
     Reply
    Macloserboy was starred Macloserboy was unstarred
    Image of TableNine TableNine
    03/09/09

    @Macloserboy: He must have been really baroque.
     Reply
    TableNine was starred TableNine was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    03/09/09

    In reply to BMW's Baroque $10 Million Sex Scandal
    I'm just happy Egon is a real name outside of Ghostbusters.
     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    03/09/09

    @Mount_Prion: Let's not forget Egon Schielle.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
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