After discovering himself during 10-hour sessions on the Rock of Ages dance floor, Tom Cruise has an announcement to make:

Repetitive watching is the key to learning The Dougie. Just when you think you've gotten enough, we stumble upon an awesomely mustachioed Elvisesque Indian dude breaking it down. Next thing you know you'll be hanging from chandeliers, doing the Dougie.

It's true. There will be a Bollywood Hitler movie. Also today: Idiot Paul Rudd's non-idiot sisters are named, everyone's favorite show has been renewed, that Superbad kid just keeps hangin' on, and a great new series begins.

We finally figured out why the Russian ice dancers thought they could get away with their brownface "Aboriginal Dance" routine: This year, everyone did racial drag. Americans in bindi. Germans in grass skirts. French cowboys, kimonos, "Hava Nagila," oh my!

The showbiz news cycle has ground to a halt. But you'll be glad you stuck with it, because two stories in today's trades reveal very conclusively that sex does not sell but Indians dancing do. Use this knowledge wisely.

Jon and Kate Gosselin are basically the worst people in the history of TV. Pennsylvania pride! Scott Weiland's wife: a crazy-awesome smack addict. Kanyeezy's community serveezy. J-Lo's Lola gives me facehurt. Weirdos! Celebrities! Whatever! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Last we heard, the typical Bollywood heroine was a coy, traditional woman—not a violent criminal who goes through rich men like party snacks—but apparently that didn't deter producer Shailendra Singh from recruiting Naomi Campbell to sing (in Hindi!) in his new animated film, Jumbo. The scary supermodel will also…

When a business has completely saturated one market, it can either die out or expand into another market. I think it's safe to say that rap-as-pop-music has reached its tipping point in terms of US commercial appeal. Luckily there's a billion people in India who have yet to embrace pimpology! Rappers in America have…

Following last week's surprise announcement that India's Reliance ADA Group would sink a half-billion into DreamWorks, the lines dividing Hollywood and Bollywood continue to blur: Today comes news that national action-hero treasures Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger have carved some time out of their busy…

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