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hyperbole
Posts Tagged “
Bonnie Fuller
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hyperbole
update
Us Calls Bullshit on Star!
Star overlord Bonnie Fuller is getting her ass kicked this morning. "Online reports that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt tied the knot in New Orleans Saturday are 'complete and total bulls—t,' a source tells Us. 'Bottom line, they aren't even in New Orleans.'"
gossip wars
Brangelina Married! No it's Not!
The poor, poor bastards Star magazine spent Saturday evening furiously shoving out their scoop that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had gotten married in New Orleans yesterday. It was "an intimate wedding ceremony in the couple's adopted city" editor-in-chief and horrible person Bonnie Fuller's scribes report. And that got the kids at People magazine crazy! A couple hours later, they had tracked down a "source" who declared "There was no wedding." Then Star got slammed with The People's Elbow when the rag claimed that Brangelina wasn't even in New Orleans yesterday! More »
gossip roundup
Scientology's Glamorous New Friends
- Game over, Scientology wins, they have Pete Doherty and Sumner Redstone. Viacom chairman Redstone hasn't actually converted but did have lunch with Scientology bigshot Tom Cruise, probably canceling in his area a personal and business rift with the actor and paving the way for more sweet Mission Impossible money. Doherty has been reading up on the religion and shacking up with a Scientologist DJ who probably hasn't yet mentioned the religion's stance on psychoactive drugs.
- Accidental gay porno fan (and singer) John Mayer posted a long rambly blog "about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog... who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man." Then, mercifully, "I'm going quiet now." [JohnMayer.com]
- Star overlord Bonnie Fuller said singer Britney Spears' parents are "pimps" who treat their daughters like "cash registers" and "bank machines." To back this up, the American Media editorial director has both an anonymous quote and a book-plugging psychiatrist. Air. Tight. [HuffPo]
- There's talk of a Hills movie. Well, of course there is. The question is, have they stockpiled enough stares. [MTV]
- Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt "work on their relationship" by going to Vegas and staying in different rooms, in different hotels and barely talking. Actually, that is seriously a dream vacation for some couples. [People]
- Atress Lindsay Lohan will play a member of the Manson family. [E! Online]
- She's supposedly jetting off to rehab soon, but singer Amy Winehouse still can't manage to get to the jail on time to visit her husband. [Sun]
blogs
Smell The Innuendo
There's a new book about blogs that the blogs can't stop talking about because bloggers love books about them. But actually reading a book about blogs? Nothing could be more boring. But there are nuggets in Ultimate Blogs: Masterworks from the Wild Web that make reading it, or the reviews of it at least, worthwhile. For one: In Eurotrash Geraldine Hayward takes bad breath to new literary heights describing her former (possibly famous!) boss. More »
listicles
Internets, Gays, Celebrities: Three Things That Will Destroy Your Family This Valentine's Day
The American Family is Under Attack. Homosexuals, liberals, Europeans, celebrities, immigrants—all seek to undermine our nation's moral code. Marriage, parenthood, even chaste teenage courtship are embattled and probably doomed. Movies about children having children out of wedlock, gays trying to marry gays, and wife-stealing media moguls are just symptoms of a deeper moral rot in our culture. Here, we present to you, exclusively, three of the greatest dangers to your family unit that you are sure to face this February—and beyond! More »
broken borders
The Canadian Media Mafia
A story in Canada's National Post about how Canadian journo Clive Thompson is secretly jealous of more famous Canadian author Malcom Gladwell made brief mention of "a Canadian mafia of print journos that exists in the Manhattan magazine world." There are more Canucks in the New York media world than you might imagine, and nearly all of them hold positions of terrifying power. Do you know your Canadian Mafia members? Join us on a trip through Manhattan's dirty underbelly with the Molson-guzzling old time hockey aficionados who secretly run the media.More »
hypocrisy
Celebrity Gossip Condemns What She Created
Bonnie Fuller, the salacious former editor of US Weekly and the woman responsible for the Star magazine revamp, is now trading in her pap card and getting all motherly toward the ailingest of ailing pop stars, Britney Spears. In a piece on the Huffington Post, Fuller is upset about Britney's treatment. She suggests that if Britney wasn't famous she never would have been released so soon. (Well, that's probably true.) A great injustice has been done to the bewigged pill popper, she argues, and someone must take action! "...message to Jamie and Lynne Spears: If you love your daughter, now get two 'neutral' conservators," she writes, "and since a hospital won't hold her, see if you can get a 100% Britney sympathetic psychiatrist/babysitter who can treat her." This is all pretty rich coming from the queen of the rags. Bonnie are you feeling pangs of guilt about this whole celebrity experiment? Or are you just looking for a new angle? After the jump, an interview with Fuller from last summer. [Huffington Post] More »
scandal
Bonnie Fuller Seeks Gay Star Sex To Destroy Lives!
Bonnie Fuller is on a perverted and desperate hunt for men who have had sex with noted hero actor Tom Cruise! For reasons known only to the American Media Inc. editorial director, she is solely searching for "Tom Toppers." ("Top" is a "gay slang" phrase for "the active partner in homosexual intercourse.") My stars, woman! How much further into depravity and sadness can the already-invasive tabloid media delve? STAY TUNED.
Tom Toppers of 2007 [HuffPo]
cults
Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and all her Laurel Touby-loving friends have put together a very special Christmas video to wish you happy holidays! From Touby's "media family" (which includes husband Jon Fine, Bonnie Fuller, and Arianna Huffington) to yours (which probably doesn't), please have a "warm and fuzzy New Year!" It's just like that I Am African campaign but without any social good and slightly less funny!
Merry Christmas From Laurel Touby And Her Creepy Friends
Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and all her Laurel Touby-loving friends have put together a very special Christmas video to wish you happy holidays! From Touby's "media family" (which includes husband Jon Fine, Bonnie Fuller, and Arianna Huffington) to yours (which probably doesn't), please have a "warm and fuzzy New Year!" It's just like that I Am African campaign but without any social good and slightly less funny!
holidays r hell
Bonnie Fuller Imagines Brangelina's Nightmare Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving, as you add the last pat of butter to the mashed potatoes while trying to ignore your great uncle's comments about how your mother's like Crisco because she's fat in the can, be thankful that you're not Brad Pitt. So says Bonnie Fuller, who, in her latest HuffPo blog post, points out that she believes her own magazine's report about how strained things could be at the Pitt home in Missouri on Thursday! More »
how they sleep at night
Bonnie Fuller Is A Good Mom, Compared To Britney Spears
AMI EVP Bonnie Fuller does some ethical backflips to justify the redeeming value of Star magazine and its ilk in a HuffPo blog post: "Now, gossip high priestess Liz Smith wrote in her November 13 column that "celebrity madness fueled by instant technology" is her top choice for Time magazine's "person" of the year. And I have to second her choice." Whoa, way to bite the feeding hand! "But while Liz may agree that celebrities and celeb newsweeklies like Star serve the purposes of entertaining us, informing us about popular culture, fashion and style," —wait, what?—"I bet not even she understands that celeb mommies play an all-important role as guilt-evaporators." She goes on to tell her "frazzled compatriots" to "give yourselves permission to pat yourselves on the back for a change. You may not be the perfect mom, but you ain't Britney." But where are we to turn to expiate the guilt we feel over reading Star? [HuffPo]
the beauty myth
Bonnie Fuller's Hair And Makeup Allowance: Twenty Grand
Once again, American Media Inc., publisher of Star, the National Enquirer and Men's Fitness, filed its financial statement with the S.E.C. well past the due date. And we can understand why: The company is hemorrhaging money. Is there some way they could cut costs to help the bottom line? Well, maybe they could reduce the amount they shell out on Chief Editorial Director Bonnie Fuller's beauty treatments. More »
our celebrities are now yours
Julia Allison Is New 'Star' Editor At Large
"Oh yeah, baby, it's all downhill from here. ;) i do hope i can stick with tv. writing is far too much effort ;)" asserted Julia Allison back in March, when she wasStar is Born [NYP]
celebrity tabloid wars
Jill Dobson Ditches 'Star' For Fox News
We hear that Star News & Style editor-at-large Jill Dobson—you know her from all her pimping of the magazine on the morning chat news shows—is leaving the magazine, and Candace Trunco and Bonnie Fuller, for the presumably more lucrative pastures of the Fox News Channel. Meanwhile, Star is wasting no time in hiring a replacement for Dobson—recruiters are now sniffing around for a Star head-reporter type who can give TV. Send in those audition tapes, talking headettes! More »
take me back, jann!
Bonnie Fuller's Homepage Is Just Like 'Us'
Maybe she was doing some research for Star's daring online takedown of Us Weekly's cover story, which calls that magazine out for relying on "recycled previously published Jolie interviews from other media outlets." Because Star never does that! They just make shit up. More »
okay, we get it, you're crazy
Braunstein: Nailing Bob Marley Should Have Made Anna Wintour A Better Person
Yesterday's trial proceedings of futuresexcrazyfakefiremanvillain Peter Braunstein brought another frightening peek into his twisted mind. He wanted to kill Vogue editor Anna Wintour! "I'm going to kill Anna Wintour—because I just feel like it," the former WWD reporter scrawled in his journal. Our precious Wintour! But why? More »
kate white
Kate White Sorta Learned From Bonnie Fuller's Mistakes
What's up with Cosmo editors and long-ass book titles? As Radar has noted, Kate White's self-help tome will change its title from How to Set His Thighs on Fire: 86 Red-Hot Lessons on Love, Life, Men, and (Especially) Sex to the demurer, but still wordy You on Top: Smart, Sexy Skills Every Woman Needs to Set the World on Fire when it comes out in paperback this June. "You always hope for bigger sales in paperback," White is quoted as saying. But maybe White means 'You always hope for bigger sales than Bonnie Fuller's in paperback."More »
