Gawker: Bonnie Fuller

National Enquirer Publisher Desperate For Cash

Ryan Tate — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 07:33:28 EDT

It looks like American Media didn't cut its $2.4-million-per-year editorial chief Bonnie Fuller fast enough: the tabloid publisher is reportedly nearly broke, desperately trying to raise money before a bunch of junk bonds come due in February. Granted, those bonds are worth $415 million, so Fuller's salary is only a sliver of the problem, but had Fuller delivered on hopes she could improve Star and National Enquirer enough to beat back competitors like Us Weekly and People perhaps the situation might not be so bleak. The company's worth has fallen by half in seven months, and its private equity owners will likely give up equity to keep it going. Perhaps some sort of juicy scandal will come along to breathe some life into the firm! [Post]

Bonnie Fuller, Madonna Truther

Pareene — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:50:59 EDT

Now that Bonnie Fuller's been kicked out of American Media, she can finally reveal the dirty secrets of how the Celebrity Tabloid game is really played. It's all an elaborate Watergate-like conspiracy! The celebs are in collusion with the glossies! You know that thing where baseball player Alex Rodriguez was suddenly hanging out with Madonna and divorcing his wife? Remember that? You know how none of it made any sense? Well Fuller—whose career in the tabloid trenches gives her a special understanding of how these sorts of stories work—smells a rat. An aerobics-addicted 49-year-old celebrity rat.

In a column in Ad Age, Fuller claims to know that the A-Rod/Madonna text message affair has been going on for months. Her "own source" even witnessed Madonna enter an elevator with A-Rod six months ago! They didn't come back down for an hour!

Isn't it strange, then, that their relationship only went highly public just over three weeks ago when Madonna and her two sons turned up wearing Yankees gear and sitting in A-Rod's box at a Yankee Stadium baseball game?

Wasn't that just a couple of days after news reports had appeared saying the tickets for her upcoming tour weren't being snapped up as quickly as expected?

Yes! That makes perfect sense! Madonna entered into this affair half a year ago and has now gone public with it in order to boost ticket sales for her upcoming tour. One wonders why she didn't try this homewrecking celebrity scandal trick when she was, say, trying to boost sales of her album, but maybe she just thought she'd save the big guns for the slow July news season? This goes even deeper than you can possibly imagine!

Her supposedly "estranged" husband, Guy Ritchie, has joined her and appears to be completely in on the whole marketing plan. He's been photographed with his two sons wearing Yankee booty at Central Park in recent days. My guess is that if Madonna's marriage is almost over and out, as has been reported, it's being maintained now by two total pragmatists who have made a pact to divide the financial rewards of a successful concert tour and album sales.

As for all the kabbalah, I believe it's just a cover that's been used to give Madonna and her new conquest more private time together.

Wheels within wheels. We're through the looking glass here, people.

For our part, we wonder how the woman who practically single-handedly invented the modern Celebrity-Industrial Complex at Us Weekly and Star is now sounding like a crazy HuffPo commenter? It's probably due to some conspiracy she entered into with Madonna and the Church of Scientology or something.

Bonnie Fuller Can Never Get Enough Money

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:51:35 EDT

Bonnie Fuller was axed last month from her job as editorial chief of American Media. But the company gave her $2.4 million in fiscal year 08, which is 50% more than even CEO David Pecker got. And AMI, which is facing some serious financial challenges of its own, was planning a $2 million severance package for her if she left by the end of March (since she didn't, they haven't revealed her actual severance—but it's surely in that ballpark). Fuller's rich, but she's still a well-known neurotic about money issues, dating back to her own mother's rough period of being broke after a divorce. Understandable—but it doesn't really give one the right to start yelling at the good people from the freaking Make-A-Wish foundation, as Fuller once famously did when she thought they were being too stingy:

From a 2004 profile of Fuller in Vanity Fair:

"Do you know the Make-a-Wish story?" asks one former editor who worked closely with Bonnie for years. "This is the most unbelievable story about entitlement. I say this as someone who really likes her, but there are things about her you can't fathom." Right before Bonnie quit Us, she had planned a family trip to Hawaii. The Make-a-Wish Foundation, an organization that arranges for the dreams of critically ill children to come true, was sending all six members of her family there owing to Fuller's ill daughter. What startled the editor was not so much the trip but the conversation that ensued right before Fuller left. She was overheard in the office shouting at one of the Make-a-Wish officers: "I just can't believe I'm going coach! How am I going to make that flight in coach?" Fuller says she did bump her family's fares up to business class, at her own expense. "Clearly," she says, "whoever [said that] doesn't know what it is to travel with four kids."
"I feel for her, I do," says the editor. "She's tortured by this money stuff. But she has these compulsions."

[WWD]

Times Incorrectly Portrays Bonnie Fuller As Sympathetic Figure

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 10:38:15 EDT

For unclear reasons, the Times felt compelled to hand a huge chunk of its Sunday Business section over to a profile of Bonnie Fuller—the woman most responsible for creating our nation's soul-destroying cast of powerful celebrity magazines—who was recently axed from her multimillion-dollar gig as editorial chief of American Media. A sympathetic profile! The news peg, purportedly: Bonnie Fuller is doing some vague new project on the internet. For women! With specifics to be determined! Color us skeptical. The Fuller that the Times describes does not sound like the woman who was so despised by her assistants that they put snot in her food. What's the major malfunction here?

After being booted from American Media last month (after lying about it in a rather terrible way), Fuller is now in the midst of some vague web project, bankrolled by former Viacom exec Russ Pillar. The revolutionary idea:

Mr. Pillar says his company, the 5850 Group, is seeking to raise "tens of millions" to back Ms. Fuller as a brand: she has created a company called Bonnie Fuller Media, based in New York. He says the start-up will be heavily digital and offer a variety of femme-friendly products that will include, but not be limited to, gossip, fashion and romance.

Stop the motherfucking presses! If Bonnie Fuller even has a serious plan for what this new, derivative digital project will consist of, we will personally eat a shoe (send over the plan to collect on that, Bonnie). Further, the Times David Carr, while acknowledging that other people have serious problems with Fuller, is personally pleased as punch with her, and says as much both implicitly and explicitly:

Ms. Fuller has created a frothy world, and, like it or not, we all live in it...
That prurient need to know just a little more is pure Bonnie Fuller...

Yes, celebrities have always been with us, but not quite in the way they are now since Ms. Fuller rethought them as familiars, our fake friends whom we can slag or praise, depending on the moment...

AT the moment of her disenfranchisement last month, many publishing insiders could barely hide their glee, although they still sought the cloak of anonymity because Ms. Fuller is the queen of second acts. They hate not only the game — readers at all costs — but also the player...

Having covered Ms. Fuller on and off for the last eight years in her various jobs, I have never been a Bonnie Fuller hater. (Of course, I never worked for her.) For one thing, she has a lack of pretension, an ability to size herself, that's rare in publishing. And on technical magazine matters, she has few peers. She can dig into the relationship between a magazine and its readers with a rare kind of intuition.

Bonnie Fuller: A publishing world hero deserving of praise. Her opponents are straight up haters! And she can sell magazines, so she deserves our respect. And the blog hate—sympathy, please!

Of course, it's worth pointing out that she is sorely lacking in self-awareness, sorely lacking in self-awareness, and sorely lacking in self-awareness.

And Fuller's most passionate defender in the story? Former Star editor and Asshat Joe Dolce. Not interviewed: her ex-assistants. That pretty much says it all.

[NYT]

Bullied Assistant Put Snot In Bonnie Fuller's Mini Soufflé

Nick Denton — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:28:10 EDT

Class resentment and anonymous speech on the internet make a toxic combination. (According to Fucked Company, I once paid for lazik eye surgery for a young MBA on staff whom I actually despised.) But occasionally the office legends are accurate—which is lucky because there were some particularly lurid stories about axed Star supremo Bonnie Fuller. Before the stake was put through her heart, the celebrity mag editor was so demanding and abusive to her underlings that she warranted her very own rumor message board, 'I Survived Bonnie'. The demand for first-class tickets from the Make-A-Wish charity? The bullied assistants who exacted revenge by rubbing snot in her souffle and crotch juice on the bread? All true, according to 2004's bitchy profile by Judith Newman of Vanity Fair. After the jump, read about the editor who made all her counterparts look like saints.

This terror goes a long way toward explaining what innumerable editors and editorial assistants refer to offhandedly as her "pathologies." Her behavior would make a case study for a favorite regular pictorial feature in the new Star, "Stars Who Are Normal or ... Not Normal," wherein she analyzes just that. "Everybody knows stars do over-the-top things," Fuller says. "That's what makes them stars."

And for a star editor in chief? Having a clothing allowance: Normal. Not being able to find the right bra for an event, even after having your fashion editor call in numerous freebies, driving her to hand over the still-warm bra off her back: Not normal. (Fuller denies this, claiming, "I'm not a big clothes sharer.") Asking an editorial assistant to do a certain number of personal errands, like picking up the dry cleaning or wrapping presents: Normal. Purportedly asking assistant to wash out your breast pump: Not normal! (Fuller does not recall asking anyone to do this. "Could one of my assistants, being thoughtful, have done it? I don't know. I'm oblivious.")

Certainly her most glaring "Not normal"s revolve around perks. "Oh my God, the town cars!" says Kent Brownridge. "We'd discussed this pointedly several times. We'd say, If you worked late, you can take a car home. Jann wanted to support her when her daughter was in the hospital"-almost the same day she started at Us, her daughter, Leilah, then five, was diagnosed with leukemia (and 10 years earlier, her older daughter Sofia had a benign brain tumor removed)-"so we'd say, Take a car up there-it's hard to get a cab up to Columbia [Presbyterian hospital, where Leilah was being treated]. So somehow that got turned into taking a car to work, then taking a car to the gym, then having it wait while she worked out, then having the car take her to work. Her rationale was: I'm working my ass off-you should do this for me." Regarding Bonnie's perks-or lack thereof-at Us, an incredulous Michael Fuller says, "Do you know when she worked at Us she had to take the train in every day? The train!" (At Conde Nast, where she'd worked before Us, the policy for editors in chief using company cars is known to be more liberal.)

One highly placed executive at a rival company said Fuller had someone on staff, Kelli Delaney, whose title was creative director but whose real job description was procurement officer. "Kelli Delaney's job? To get Bonnie free shit," says an editor at Us who worked with Bonnie and Kelli when they were there. "There wasn't really tons of fashion at the magazine. But Kelli would be made to fetch her everything from high-end label goods to underwear." Delaney says, "I have no problem telling you that people are giving Bonnie stuff," referring to the common practice of designers sending samples to editors with the hope of being featured. "I guarantee you they send a heck of a lot more to [other editors] than to Bonnie."

"Do you know the Make-a-Wish story?" asks one former editor who worked closely with Bonnie for years. "This is the most unbelievable story about entitlement. I say this as someone who really likes her, but there are things about her you can't fathom." Right before Bonnie quit Us, she had planned a family trip to Hawaii. The Make-a-Wish Foundation, an organization that arranges for the dreams of critically ill children to come true, was sending all six members of her family there owing to Fuller's ill daughter. What startled the editor was not so much the trip but the conversation that ensued right before Fuller left. She was overheard in the office shouting at one of the Make-a-Wish officers: "I just can't believe I'm going coach! How am I going to make that flight in coach?" Fuller says she did bump her family's fares up to business class, at her own expense. "Clearly," she says, "whoever [said that] doesn't know what it is to travel with four kids."

"I feel for her, I do," says the editor. "She's tortured by this money stuff. But she has these compulsions."

Fuller's worry may be fueled by factors in her life she doesn't discuss much. She is, more or less, the sole support for her family of six. Husband Michael is an architect but mostly oversees their four children: Noah, 17; Sofia, 13; Leilah, 7; and Sasha, 3. (Along with the housekeeper. "Don't buy all that Mr. Mom stuff they tell you," says one former assistant. "Michael's a great guy, but he thoroughly enjoys the lifestyle Bonnie provides.") Some insiders say Michael may be her Iago, whispering in her ear about how undervalued she is. Certainly she's provided him with the means to renovate one lovely, unpretentious home-a traditional stone-and-stucco house with a terra-cotta wraparound porch, overlooking the Hudson River, in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York-and build from scratch a vacation home nestled in the mountains of Alta, just outside Salt Lake City. But on top of the support for her own family, there are hints from her mother that she also helps out members of her extended clan. "Nobody could ask for a more generous, thoughtful daughter," says Warsh.

The problem is that being the perfect daughter doesn't translate into being the perfect boss. Fuller is a perfectionist, and perfectionists annoy anyone who's not; that's self-evident. But how many editors have entire Web sites devoted to their malfeasance? Some former peon-no one knows who-started a site called isurvivedbonnie. It features a lovely head shot of Bonnie, flaming horns on her head, with the words "El Diablo."

In the past, her staff has retaliated with revenges large and small. "Bonnie had gotten a Michael Kors dress sent to her, and it was wool," says a former assistant. "It had a tag on the arm that said, 'Lavare a Mano'-'Wash by Hand' in Italian. It was supposed to be snipped off, but she didn't seem to know that. She had this tag on her sleeve and she loved wearing this minidress. I knew what it meant, but I didn't tell her. She wore it like that and I was like, That's for keeping me here till 11."

And here's a cautionary tale for all those who are cavalier with their minions: "I've never admitted it to a stranger over the phone, but, yeah, O.K., it's true," says one of Fuller's former editorial assistants about a story whispered to me that I was sure was the magazine equivalent of an urban myth. Bonnie had a free meal prepared. Then her assistants were ordered to pack it up and send it home in a company car, so that she and her husband could enjoy it later. "And she was just being so, so horrible to so many people and ... look, I swear to God, we're really nice people. You just don't know what we went through." One assistant "had a bad cold, so she, um, pulled some stuff out of her nose. That went in the mini souffle chocolate cakes. And the loaf of bread ... that went inside my pants."

Bonnie Fuller Lies On Her Mother's Grave

Nick Denton — Wed, 14 May 2008 10:43:24 EDT

Amid general rejoicing in the humiliation of boss-from-hell Bonnie Fuller, have some sympathy for the departing American Media editorial director. Fuller not only failed to turn American Media's supermarket tabloid Star into a real competitor to the glossier Us Weekly; she recently lost her mother. But the driven Canadian-born super-editor—who boasted of her ability to juggle career and family in a recent advice book—may have used her mother's death to manage the news of her departure. New York Post terrier-like media reporter Keith Kelly was sniffing around last week. Bonnie Fuller's shameless response?

"I have been out of the office for nearly three weeks, one week or so while my mom was sick and now she passed away and I have been sitting shiva all week. It is not true at all. I am not looking for another job and I am NOT negotiating this contract with AMI to leave. Please tell Keith if he does this while I am sitting shiva it would be terrible to me."

Kelly has punished the fibbing celebrity editor for her lie with particularly brutal coverage in today's Post complete with a vicious spoof of her departure as it might be reported in a celebrity tabloid and a nasty headline—Ding Dong, Bonnie's Gone. For Fuller's greater sin—a lie on her mother's grave—she doesn't have to answer to Keith Kelly; only to her own conscience and whatever dark deity she worships.

Did You Survive Bonnie Fuller?

Nick Denton — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:54:04 EDT

To mark the passing of the much-hated magazine editor, Gawker will run eulogies from former colleagues who survived Fuller's reign of terror at Us Weekly and Star. Let it all out.

The Witch Is Dead

Nick Denton — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:40:33 EDT

Bonnie Fuller, the Canadian mother-of-four who defined both the celebrity weekly and the celebrity magazine editor, is to leave her job. As the demanding editor of Us Weekly, Fuller was the most sought-after executive in the magazine industry; but she traded in her reputation for a richer deal at David Pecker's American Media. Fuller did improve group flagship Star, but it wasn't enough to dislodge Us Weekly, which continued to thrive under Fuller's successor, Janice Min. It became apparent that the peppy formula was stronger than the personal magic which Fuller had sold to American Media's Pecker. Marginalized at her new employer, Fuller spent her last couple of years in increasingly bizarre efforts to promote Star and her own flagging brand, appearing on game shows such as Identity (see screencap) and damning in blog posts the trashy celebrity culture that she had done so much to promote. It was a brutal fall from grace; and now Fuller cannot even claim to be seeking a quieter life. Her book, The Joys of Much Too Much, extolled the virtues of a hectic but full career and home life, over the simplicity and tranquility from which she will now suffer. (After the jump, American Media's press release.)

AMERICAN MEDIA ANNOUNCES BONNIE FULLER TO STEP DOWN AS EVP AND CHIEF
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR; TO SERVE AS EDITOR-AT-LARGE OF STAR MAGAZINE AND
CONSULTANT TO COMPANY

NEW YORK, MAY 13, 2008 American Media, Inc. (AMI) today announced that
Bonnie Fuller, who has served as Executive Vice President and Chief
Editorial Director since July 2003, will resign from those positions as of
May 14, 2008. Going forward, Ms. Fuller will serve as editor-at-large of
AMI¹s Star magazine, and also will act as a consultant to the company¹s
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer David J. Pecker.

"I am proud of the significant achievements of American Media¹s celebrity
and fitness brands over the past five years, and I am now ready for a new
adventure," said Ms. Fuller. "The transformation of Star from a tabloid into
a glossy magazine was unprecedented and has proven to be a great success. I
am also proud of the redesigns of several other titles over the past few
years. I have been fortunate to work with an exceptional group of talented
editors and publishers, and am thrilled to continue my involvement with AMI
through my role as editor-at-large at Star and consultant to David Pecker."

"Bonnie Fuller has been an important part of a team that has overseen a
range of extremely successful editorial initiatives over the past five
years," said Mr. Pecker. "I am pleased that we will continue to benefit from
her journalistic contributions through her role as editor-at-large at Star
and a consultant to the company."

Yucky Miley Pictures Are Just Like Teen Cult Impregnation, Says Bonnie Fuller

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:17:48 EDT

Bonnie Fuller, who oversees Star magazine and is therefore the arbiter of American media standards, has a question about this whole Miley Cyrus thing, and its connection to the current Texas polygamy scandal: "Is it OK to sexualize a fifteen-year-old if it is in the pages of a high falutin' magazine and her parents seem OK with it? Or is this really not much different from parents in a cult acquiescing to having their teen daughters wedded and bedded?" Ummm... can we say 'No' to all of the above?

In one of her random HuffPo rants (reminiscent of her earlier fretting over the treatment of Britney Spears) Fuller exercises her trademark lack of self-awareness by not only piously standing up as the voice of morality (any asshole can do that), but by actually conflating a photo spread with an epidemic of actual statutory rape. The kind that happened in the real world.

I'm not sure that it is all that different. In both cases 15-year-olds, who are well under the age of consent, are being exploited because they are viewed as sexually attractive. And in both cases, their parents are allowing it to happen.

Miley may not have been forced to have sex with a creepy old man but she is being put out on display like a modern day Lolita and you can bet a lot of creepy old men will be eyeballing her bare shoulders and back and having nasty thoughts about her other parts that appear to be bare. Yuck!

She seems to be having trouble distinguishing between real stuff and media celebrity stuff, so allow us to help. Bonnie, just imagine a straight line, representing the spectrum of disgusting things in the world, from "Very disgusting" on one end to "Just amusingly disgusting" on the other. At the far end, towards "Very," is polygamy mixed with statutory rape. Closer to the middle are things like glossy photo shoots for Miley Cyrus (imagine that on the "Somewhat disgusting but mainly boring" branch), and Star magazine's existence. Then, closer the "Amusing" side, you'll find things like Gawker (I like to think), candy cigarettes, and ultimate fighting.

Yuck!

Us Calls Bullshit on Star!

ian spiegelman — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:43:26 EDT

Star overlord Bonnie Fuller is getting her ass kicked this morning. "Online reports that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt tied the knot in New Orleans Saturday are 'complete and total bulls—t,' a source tells Us. 'Bottom line, they aren't even in New Orleans.'"

Brangelina Married! No it's Not!

ian spiegelman — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:13:03 EDT

The poor, poor bastards Star magazine spent Saturday evening furiously shoving out their scoop that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had gotten married in New Orleans yesterday. It was "an intimate wedding ceremony in the couple's adopted city" editor-in-chief and horrible person Bonnie Fuller's scribes report. And that got the kids at People magazine crazy! A couple hours later, they had tracked down a "source" who declared "There was no wedding." Then Star got slammed with The People's Elbow when the rag claimed that Brangelina wasn't even in New Orleans yesterday!

"The family spent a weekend in New Orleans two weeks ago—as Pitt broke ground on his Make It Right project to help rebuild the city's Lower Ninth Ward—but they have recently been in the Austin, Texas, area while Pitt films Tree of Life with Sean Penn." Damn, Star, you're just gonna take that?

Scientology's Glamorous New Friends

Ryan Tate — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:17:32 EDT

Game over, Scientology wins, they have Pete Doherty and Sumner Redstone. Viacom chairman Redstone hasn't actually converted but did have lunch with Scientology bigshot Tom Cruise, probably canceling in his area a personal and business rift with the actor and paving the way for more sweet Mission Impossible money. Doherty has been reading up on the religion and shacking up with a Scientologist DJ who probably hasn't yet mentioned the religion's stance on psychoactive drugs.
Accidental gay porno fan (and singer) John Mayer posted a long rambly blog "about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog... who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man." Then, mercifully, "I'm going quiet now." [JohnMayer.com]
Star overlord Bonnie Fuller said singer Britney Spears' parents are "pimps" who treat their daughters like "cash registers" and "bank machines." To back this up, the American Media editorial director has both an anonymous quote and a book-plugging psychiatrist. Air. Tight. [HuffPo]
There's talk of a Hills movie. Well, of course there is. The question is, have they stockpiled enough stares. [MTV]
Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt "work on their relationship" by going to Vegas and staying in different rooms, in different hotels and barely talking. Actually, that is seriously a dream vacation for some couples. [People]
Atress Lindsay Lohan will play a member of the Manson family. [E! Online]
She's supposedly jetting off to rehab soon, but singer Amy Winehouse still can't manage to get to the jail on time to visit her husband. [Sun]

Smell The Innuendo

rebecca — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:55:13 EST

There's a new book about blogs that the blogs can't stop talking about because bloggers love books about them. But actually reading a book about blogs? Nothing could be more boring. But there are nuggets in Ultimate Blogs: Masterworks from the Wild Web that make reading it, or the reviews of it at least, worthwhile. For one: In Eurotrash Geraldine Hayward takes bad breath to new literary heights describing her former (possibly famous!) boss.

She had a cracking case of halitosis which meant when she stalked up to you in the newsroom to flay your tormented soul with some well-screeched foulness, you had to choose between crying with the humiliation, and vomiting as the hell's maw that was her breath enveloped you in its vile caress.

Who could be the she-devil with terrible breath? Well consider that Hayward used to work at Star and Bonnie Fuller does look like the type. Hayward was nearly the lead Jezebel writer and could have probably given her womanly advice.

What's worse than being called out in blog form and later in print for bad breath? A public fart goes away. A blog post lasts forever.

Web Lore [Phoenix]

Internets, Gays, Celebrities: Three Things That Will Destroy Your Family This Valentine's Day

Pareene — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 12:29:51 EST

The American Family is Under Attack. Homosexuals, liberals, Europeans, celebrities, immigrants—all seek to undermine our nation's moral code. Marriage, parenthood, even chaste teenage courtship are embattled and probably doomed. Movies about children having children out of wedlock, gays trying to marry gays, and wife-stealing media moguls are just symptoms of a deeper moral rot in our culture. Here, we present to you, exclusively, three of the greatest dangers to your family unit that you are sure to face this February—and beyond!

Threat One: World of Warcraft

This time-wasting, life-destroying "massively multiplayer online role-playing game" sucks users in and doesn't let go. Its thousands of players abandon any hope of real social interaction, instead spending their days and Mountain Dew-fueled nights "fighting orcs" or something in an online fantasy world. Thankfully, the vast majority of WoW enthusiasts are unappealing adolescent boys, and their absence from real life affects almost no one. Until now. Because we have seen the future, and it's neglected WoW Orphans. From the "WoW_ladies" livejournal group, via Kottke, gaze in horror at The State Of Our Children:

The problem? We have two small children who need to eat dinner and raids start at 5pm. Ack! How are we going to make dinner?! There are no problems with the kids running around playing and such while we raid. They're already used to that, they play in the computer room and we can get them things that they need (you know, cups of juice, snacks, what have you) when we have breaks. Before it was easy because if I was running an instance and in the middle of combat my husband might be in a a space between pulls where he could safely go afk for 30 seconds you know. But now we'll be on the same schedule essentially. We both play support classes too (he's a holy priest, I'm a resto druid) so the guild ideally would want us to both be in a forty man raid. It's not like we can easily switch off any raid nights other than say, ZG and AQ20 runs.

A generation of neglected, unsocialized feral fatties awaits us.

Threat Two: Lynne Spears, HuffPo, Bonnie Fuller

ALL WORKING TOGETHER, IN TANDEM, TO CRUSH US.

Yes, parents! Use your unmatched political power to prevent the media from even covering your child during her formative years, instead of forcing her into a show-biz career. Then use said pull to get her into Stanford and eventually swing her a cushy hedge fund gig, once again instead of show business. Then ask her to use her untouchable status to suddenly become a spokeswoman no one can criticize as you campaign to once again rule the nation.

Threat Three: The Gays, Specifically Choire Sicha

Cunning homosexualist Choire Sicha uses his New York Observer column today to actively threaten to personally destroy every marriage he can get his hands on. And he advocates that like-minded anti-social family-hating New Yorkers do the same!

In summation, it's clear. We're all doomed to gay-divorce one of Jamie-Lynn Spears' polygamist fetuses by order of Empress Hillary Clinton.

The Canadian Media Mafia

Pareene — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:31:10 EST

A story in Canada's National Post about how Canadian journo Clive Thompson is secretly jealous of more famous Canadian author Malcom Gladwell made brief mention of "a Canadian mafia of print journos that exists in the Manhattan magazine world." There are more Canucks in the New York media world than you might imagine, and nearly all of them hold positions of terrifying power. Do you know your Canadian Mafia members? Join us on a trip through Manhattan's dirty underbelly with the Molson-guzzling old time hockey aficionados who secretly run the media.

Mort Zuckerman
Publisher/EIC, New York Daily News. EIC, U.S. News & World Report.
Born: Montreal, Quebec.

Malcolm Gladwell
New Yorker staff writer, pop-nonfic author general media whore.
Born in the UK, raised in Elmira, Ontario. Attended the University of Toronto around the same time as Clive Thompson! And obv BFF w/ fellow frequent New Yorker contributer

Adam Gopnik
Born in Philly, raised in Montreal. Has also perhaps spent time in Paris? Someone look into this.

Graydon Carter
Editor, Vanity Fair
Born: Toronto, Ontario.

Dale Hrabi
Former editorial creative director at Maxim and elsewhere. Radar Editor at Large.
Worked at Canadian fashion mag Flare, just like:

Bonnie Fuller
Tabloid queen. Editorial director, American Media. Terror. Britney leaver-alone.
Born: Toronto.

Not pictured: Lorne Michaels, Rachel Sklar. Probably others! If you know of media-running Canadians we left out, drop us a line.

Celebrity Gossip Condemns What She Created

Richard — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:59:48 EST

Bonnie Fuller, the salacious former editor of US Weekly and the woman responsible for the Star magazine revamp, is now trading in her pap card and getting all motherly toward the ailingest of ailing pop stars, Britney Spears. In a piece on the Huffington Post, Fuller is upset about Britney's treatment. She suggests that if Britney wasn't famous she never would have been released so soon. (Well, that's probably true.) A great injustice has been done to the bewigged pill popper, she argues, and someone must take action! "...message to Jamie and Lynne Spears: If you love your daughter, now get two 'neutral' conservators," she writes, "and since a hospital won't hold her, see if you can get a 100% Britney sympathetic psychiatrist/babysitter who can treat her." This is all pretty rich coming from the queen of the rags. Bonnie are you feeling pangs of guilt about this whole celebrity experiment? Or are you just looking for a new angle? After the jump, an interview with Fuller from last summer. [Huffington Post]

Bonnie Fuller Seeks Gay Star Sex To Destroy Lives!

Choire — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 14:11:19 EST

Bonnie Fuller is on a perverted and desperate hunt for men who have had sex with noted hero actor Tom Cruise! For reasons known only to the American Media Inc. editorial director, she is solely searching for "Tom Toppers." ("Top" is a "gay slang" phrase for "the active partner in homosexual intercourse.") My stars, woman! How much further into depravity and sadness can the already-invasive tabloid media delve? STAY TUNED.

Tom Toppers of 2007 [HuffPo]

Merry Christmas From Laurel Touby And Her Creepy Friends

Maggie — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:42:18 EST

Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and all her Laurel Touby-loving friends have put together a very special Christmas video to wish you happy holidays! From Touby's "media family" (which includes husband Jon Fine, Bonnie Fuller, and Arianna Huffington) to yours (which probably doesn't), please have a "warm and fuzzy New Year!" It's just like that I Am African campaign but without any social good and slightly less funny!

Bonnie Fuller Imagines Brangelina's Nightmare Thanksgiving

Jen — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:50:39 EST

This Thanksgiving, as you add the last pat of butter to the mashed potatoes while trying to ignore your great uncle's comments about how your mother's like Crisco because she's fat in the can, be thankful that you're not Brad Pitt. So says Bonnie Fuller, who, in her latest HuffPo blog post, points out that she believes her own magazine's report about how strained things could be at the Pitt home in Missouri on Thursday!

"All the perks of stardom and $100 million in the bank can do nothing to diminish the fact that he'll be the man in the middle between Angelina Jolie and his mom, Jane Pitt... [who] has been publicly spotted several times dining, hugging, and even visiting her former daughter-in-law Jennifer Aniston at home, since the exes became exes. That in itself would qualify as monster-in-law material for lesser women. Then I'm sure Angelina got quite the earful from Brad's mom after she confessed to British Cosmopolitan that she took a wild trip to Disneyland while high on LSD."

Sure.

Fuller goes on to analyze hypothetical holiday scenarios involving Ashton and Demi ("What about [Kutcher's mom] Diane's dishes and silverware? Are they up to A list?"), Jake and Reese, and Jen and Ben. Okay, now we're totally convinced that it sucks to be them, for reasons besides 'Bonnie Fuller exists.'

Bonnie Fuller Is A Good Mom, Compared To Britney Spears

Emily Gould — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 09:40:54 EST

AMI EVP Bonnie Fuller does some ethical backflips to justify the redeeming value of Star magazine and its ilk in a HuffPo blog post: "Now, gossip high priestess Liz Smith wrote in her November 13 column that "celebrity madness fueled by instant technology" is her top choice for Time magazine's "person" of the year. And I have to second her choice." Whoa, way to bite the feeding hand! "But while Liz may agree that celebrities and celeb newsweeklies like Star serve the purposes of entertaining us, informing us about popular culture, fashion and style," —wait, what?—"I bet not even she understands that celeb mommies play an all-important role as guilt-evaporators." She goes on to tell her "frazzled compatriots" to "give yourselves permission to pat yourselves on the back for a change. You may not be the perfect mom, but you ain't Britney." But where are we to turn to expiate the guilt we feel over reading Star? [HuffPo]

Bonnie Fuller's Hair And Makeup Allowance: Twenty Grand

abalk — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:32:13 EDT

Once again, American Media Inc., publisher of Star, the National Enquirer and Men's Fitness, filed its financial statement with the S.E.C. well past the due date. And we can understand why: The company is hemorrhaging money. Is there some way they could cut costs to help the bottom line? Well, maybe they could reduce the amount they shell out on Chief Editorial Director Bonnie Fuller's beauty treatments.

The Company is party to an employment agreement with Ms. Fuller. The term of Ms. Fuller's agreement commenced on July 7, 2003 and was amended as of April 1, 2006 to extend the term of the agreement through March 31, 2009 and to make certain other changes. Under her employment agreement, as amended, Ms. Fuller is to receive: (i) annual base salary in the amount of $1,500,000; (ii) an annual incentive payment of at least $500,000 with a target of $1,000,000, based on certain performance criteria; (iii) health and welfare benefit plan coverage; (iv) a grant of 1,350 Class B Units upon execution of the original agreement and an additional 450 Class B Units upon execution of the amendment; (v) an allotment of $80,000 per year for car services; (vi) reimbursement of health club-related expenses up to $18,000 per year; (vii) payment or reimbursement of hair and make-up charges of up to $20,000 per year for business-related appearances; (viii) payment of certain dues of related professional organizations; and (ix) reimbursement of certain expenses.

To be fair to Bonnie, she always looks fabulous. But maybe they should consider bringing back Joe Dolce. From what we understand, he only took five grand in make-up expenses, and most of that was for foundation.

Form 10-K: American Media Operations, Inc. [SEC, via Footnoted]

Julia Allison Is New 'Star' Editor At Large

Emily Gould — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 09:40:32 EDT

"Oh yeah, baby, it's all downhill from here. ;) i do hope i can stick with tv. writing is far too much effort ;)" asserted Julia Allison back in March, when she was ~~fired~~ amicably separated from her job as AM New York's online dating advice columnist. Maybe she's been reading The Secret, because it seems like Julia just got her wish! She'll be Star's new Editor at Large, a position that really plays to her "strengths:" "She won't be editing or writing, but she will be appearing as a talking expert whenever TV comes calling for someone to go on air to comment on the latest celebrity gossip or scandal." Congratulations, Julia! We knew you when, and for some reason we still know you now. As for those "wondering why Star actually needs a permanent full-time TV person, since Editorial Director Bonnie Fuller relinquished day-to-day control at Star to Candace Trunzo and seems to have more time on her hands these days," we'd meekly posit that maybe it's because Bonnie Fuller doesn't have an ass on which you can bounce a quarter.

Star is Born [NYP]

Jill Dobson Ditches 'Star' For Fox News

Doree Shafrir — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 13:00:25 EDT

We hear that Star News & Style editor-at-large Jill Dobson—you know her from all her pimping of the magazine on the morning chat news shows—is leaving the magazine, and Candace Trunco and Bonnie Fuller, for the presumably more lucrative pastures of the Fox News Channel. Meanwhile, Star is wasting no time in hiring a replacement for Dobson—recruiters are now sniffing around for a Star head-reporter type who can give TV. Send in those audition tapes, talking headettes!

[Image via]

Bonnie Fuller's Homepage Is Just Like 'Us'

Emily Gould — Thu, 31 May 2007 12:30:00 EDT

Maybe she was doing some research for Star's daring online takedown of Us Weekly's cover story, which calls that magazine out for relying on "recycled previously published Jolie interviews from other media outlets." Because Star never does that! They just make shit up.

Bonnie Fuller: She's Just Like Us [Lower Hudson Online]

Braunstein: Nailing Bob Marley Should Have Made Anna Wintour A Better Person

abalk2 — Tue, 15 May 2007 10:36:33 EDT

Yesterday's trial proceedings of futuresexcrazyfakefiremanvillain Peter Braunstein brought another frightening peek into his twisted mind. He wanted to kill Vogue editor Anna Wintour! "I'm going to kill Anna Wintour—because I just feel like it," the former WWD reporter scrawled in his journal. Our precious Wintour! But why?

When I was a media reporter, there were many high-profile editors, and God knows they had big egos, but you could still get them on the phone. Remnick, Carter, Fuller, even Martha Stewart. But Wintour? She just never talked to peons like us. It was beneath her. And all the while I'm thinking, 'Who is this skank?' She plays up this aristocratic, Marie Antoinette 'Let them eat cake' routine, but, excuse me, can I get some proof that she holds a title of nobility that goes back to the 13th century? No. All she does is edit a magazine. That's it. So what's with the royalty routine? . . . I mean, for Christ's sake, the woman slept with Bob Marley, one of the most soulful people ever to walk the face of the earth. If that didn't spiritualize her, nothing would.

Okay, we've heard enough. Kidnap and molest as many junior-level staffers as you want, but threaten to take Anna away? Lock this guy up and throw away the key. Hell, give him the chair! —balk

'DEVIL'ISH PLOT TO MURDER WINTOUR [NYP]

Kate White Sorta Learned From Bonnie Fuller's Mistakes

Emily Gould — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:31:28 EDT

What's up with Cosmo editors and long-ass book titles? As Radar has noted, Kate White's self-help tome will change its title from How to Set His Thighs on Fire: 86 Red-Hot Lessons on Love, Life, Men, and (Especially) Sex to the demurer, but still wordy You on Top: Smart, Sexy Skills Every Woman Needs to Set the World on Fire when it comes out in paperback this June. "You always hope for bigger sales in paperback," White is quoted as saying. But maybe White means 'You always hope for bigger sales than Bonnie Fuller's in paperback."

Fuller, White's Cosmo predecessor, saw her similar self-help tome come out in paperback in January, retaining its original, ridiculous hardcover title: The Joys of Much Too Much: Go for the Big Life—The Great Career, The Perfect Guy, and Everything Else You've Ever Wanted (Even If You're Afraid You Don't Have What It Takes). That book has sold a mere 338 copies, according to Nielsen Bookscan which, duh, only tracks 70-80% of outlets but still! Ouch, the pain of much too little. Hey, that's way shorter! —Emily

White's Thighs Fail To Set Fires [Radar]

Media Bubble: The Onion Will Kill Tucker Carlson

abalk2 — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:55:05 EDT

The Onion, it turns out, has been nursing a master plan for domination for untold years. Either that or it's April 1 on Sunday. But we're pretty sure they're serious. Also, The Onion News Network is all about the communist-daycare style YouTube clip-sharing. Why? Because they are not idiots. [Variety]

Celebrities too lazy to blog! [Guardian]

People are shooting at Voice communications manager—excuse us, P.R. Director—Maggie Shnayerson! Also, she will be a lady publisher someday soon. [PR Week]

Conrad Black trial: "Just funnel some of that money into my personal account, thanks." [AP]

AMI editorial director Bonnie Fuller's annual car service budget capped at $80K. [Radar]

The Week publisher Carolyn Kremins returns to Conde Nast, where she'll be VP/publisher of Cookie. That's the job with the all-you-can-eat baby buffet! The baby test kitchen is a marvel to behold. [WWD]

YouTube gives out first annual awards. Viacom products win nothing! [ZDNet]

Graydon Carter supposedly works editorial supplement with Anna Wintour. [Radar]

Ooh, look out LA Times! Your ombudsman Jamie Gold is investigating all your recent hubbub! Maybe you'll all be spanked in a single short column in the opinion section! Now—who the hell is pulling the short straw to be Joel Stein's new editor? [LAT]

WSJ debuts "Deal Journal" blog. Way to dominate the marketplace, tardy! Well, we hope those other finance-world blogs like Dealbreaker and Dealbook are happy to make its acquaintance. [DJ]

Media Bubble: Go To Zell

abalk2 — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 09:51:19 EST

Real estate magnate Sam Zell will probably buy Tribune, which would be nice because it'll finally put an end to this fucking story. [LAT]

Alexandra Wallace, new executive producer of NBC's "Nightly News," promises better ratings, looks for places even more dangerous than Iraq to send Brian Williams. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Kurt Eichenwald is just a generous soul, and that's the story he's sticking with. [AP]

Absolute fucking genius designer Chip Kidd soils himself in our eyes [Ed. Note: Eww? In your eyes?] by working with Jann Wenner. [NYP]

Pulitzer Prize winner gets lands on Free Parking courtesy of story subject, does not pass go, does not collect $200. Cool! [Willamette Weekly]

Joe Dolce is a survivor. Bonnie Fuller? Remains to be seen. [Ibid]

This article on the advent of content ratings for new media in Britain contains the saddest photocredit we've ever seen. [Guardian]

NYT predicts 30% growth in 2007 online revenues. Also world peace, bigger cock, flying cars, etc. [MediaPost]

Black-hating dude somehow thinks playing the Tarantino card will make him more sympathetic. [Fox News]

Good news: If Jon Friedman is covering Ann Coulter, 46, it means her period of relevance is coming to an end. [Marketwatch]
[Image via]

Tom Brokaw snaps up the late Barbara Epstein's UWS pad, possibly for his daughter. [NYO]

Media Bubble: Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler

abalk2 — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 08:29:30 EST

Bonnie Fuller is allegedly "reaching out to Hachette Filipacchi and to TMZ.com." There are the usual denials all around, but we think if anyone can revive Shock, it's Bonnie "Bon Temps" Fuller. [NYP]

Less than half the targeted "volunteers" at Time Inc. have yet to take their packages and go. Guess Ann Moore underestimated the appeal of working near a big pile of shit. [WWD]

The BBC does a deal with YouTube. [Guardian]

We've been following the battle between Rupert Murdoch and Richard Branson out of the corner of one eye, but it looks like it may be worth a little more attention. [Independent]

The Washington Post's fourth quarter numbers were not so good. [MediaPost]

NBC Entertainment president Kevin Reilly gets a new, multi-year deal. Thank you, Jason Lee's moustache! [MediaWeek]

Remember HOTSOUP? Of course you don't. That's probably why Souper Ron Fournier is heading back to the A.P. [E&P]

Oh, God, still more Tribune. [Chicago Business]

Village Voice Media talent or 18th century American painter? [Alt-Weekly Death Watch]

Irresponsible Rumormongering: Double Bonus Edition

abalk2 — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 11:39:56 EST

From our friendly tipsters:

"Word is there's a few hundred more lay-offs at Dateline and Nightly News due to ratings slumps. All I've heard so far."

"Pecker's full of shit. Bonnie [Fuller]'s done."

Disputations or amendments to the usual address.

Media Bubble: Fox Hunts

abalk2 — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 09:10:00 EST

Keith Kelly gets the "exclusive": Time Warner is selling its Time 4 Media properties to the Bonnier Group for a sum considerably less than the $300 million they wanted. Tough break for AdAge, which had the story yesterday but pulled it. [NYP]

Star is not moving, Bonnie Fuller is not leaving, and everything that David Pecker says can be taken as the absolute gospel. [WWD]

NewsCorp subpoenas YouTube. [Guardian]

LAT names an "editor for innovation," plans to teach its reporters about the Web. [LAT]

Bill Keller believes in the New York Times even if Morgan Stanley doesn't. [American Journalism Review]

We'd like to start a fund to buy Tribune, just so we don't have to hear about it anymore. [WSJ]

Harry Potter brings you the old media/new media debate from Davos. [Guardian]

Irresponsible Rumormongering: 'Star' Really IS Moving to Boca

Doree Shafrir — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 17:27:46 EST

Despite the Mediabistro job postings that seemed to indicate that AMI would be moving Star's operations back to Florida from whence they came, Star has thus far vehemently denied that that was, in fact, the case. But over the transom comes the following:

Star staffers are out in March. Star really moving to Boca. Nobody asked to join the ride.

The usual caveats apply, but this would seem to be quite a repudiation of Bonnie Fuller's reinvention attempts.

Earlier: Is AMI Moving Star back to Boca?

Media Bubble: Again With The Layoffs

abalk2 — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:00:38 EST

Next week is layoff week at Time Inc. Also, every week thereafter. [WWD]

ABC will kiss Diane Sawyer's ass in Macy's window if it helps keep her. [LAT]

Double-dipping at News snooze. [NYP]

Alain Levy, millions of others, out at EMI. [NYT]

Vaughan Ververs, Brian Montopoli, moving up at CBSNews.com. [TVNewser]

Bonnie Fuller may have to fly down to Florida to work at Star. Joe Dolce, too, assuming he's still got a job at AMI. [NYP]

Media Bubble: The Devil Is Actually Kind of Lame and Boring

Emily Gould — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 08:50:00 EST

Fashion magazine editor in chief documentary fever has risen to such a pitch that there are even cameras following around Marie Claire's Joanna Coles. Where will it end, Life& Style?? [NYT]

Related: will anyone care about the Courteney Cox as Bonnie Fuller show? [WWD]

You've been waiting for it: in-depth analysis of the Gerald Ford-related SNL sketches on YouTube. Best quote: "Ford is the first former President to die in the YouTube age (the last to pass away was Reagan in 2004, before YouTube was even invented)." [ETP]

A 23-year-old WSJ assistant editor's deep thoughts on the state of journalism. [Tristram Shandy]

What it was like to interview the man who was for some reason known to his intimates as "Jerry" Ford. [Poynter]

"Scoop War" between National Enquirer and InTouch re: Carrie Underwood and . . . we've already lost interest. [Jossip]

Great Moments in James Brown Journalism, from the Philadelphia Daily News: "Brown estate has her bewildered, in a cold sweat." Hey, at least no one has made the "he wasn't feeling good" joke yet. Uh, til now. [FishbowlNY]

Editorial director of UK's Telegraph papers bids adieu. [MediaGuardian]