A report released Tuesday revealed that the IRS paid out millions in bonuses to employees who still owed the IRS back taxes.

Random House, the publisher of Fifty Shades of Grey and (every other fact is irrelevant), announced at its holiday party last night that every American employee—thousands of them, anyone who's been with company for a year—will be getting a $5,000 Christmas bonus. "The cheering went on for minutes," says the NYT.

Twinkie maker Hostess pissed off a lot of reasonable people by not only cutting worker pay while leaving the CEO's pay untouched, but also giving executives $1.75 million in bonuses at the same time they are liquidating the company and laying off 15,000 workers. That's some brazen shit. More enraging is how typical…

Good news, recession-weary Americans: bonuses for corporate CEOs "bounced back last year at a speedy clip." They rose more than 30% last year! Doesn't that fill you with joy? Doesn't that give you a sense of triumph and patriotism? Doesn't that make you want to run up to the next corporate CEO you see with a baseball…

The indignities heaped upon our nation's young attorneys continue to pile up like snowdrifts on the bleak city streets. Consider the plight of today's humble barristers: having spent the year confined to an office, they emerge to find...a bonus nightmare.

Wall Street's work has ground to a halt. Employees are huddled around fiery trash barrels, discussing their much-diminished bonus pools. CEOs are ordering lowly executives to keep their money woes quiet. It's worse than we thought: they're getting nothing.

On one hand: Wall Street is back! Morgan Stanley and Bank of America may post their biggest revenues in history this year. But don't be fooled. It's a hard holiday season for the little people. (The bankers.)

Have you heard? Wall Street is getting its swagger back! But while this is obviously great news, it's been a long time since finance guys turned their swag on. So we've assembled a guide to help them!

Goldman Sachs is wasting no time doing exactly what Obama complained about in his SOTU last week: handing out enormous bonuses. The Times of London reports that Goldman is planning to pay CEO Lloyd Blankfein a record $100 million bonus.

Wall Street is cutting back on cash bonuses, which means paper-rich banksters are forced to choose between preschool tuition and new wine cellars until their restricted shares mature. Goldman Sachs is lending a hand by offering mortgages to its staff.

The Wall Street Journal digs under the surface of banks' fake contrition and finds loans that are deferred against share compensation or are 'forgivable' — which means they don't really have to be paid back.

According to estimates and figures the Wall Street Journal has dug up, anyway. They quote a man defending the payouts and using the textbook banker bonus defence.

Lord Brian Griffiths of Fforestfach is a vice chairman at Goldman Sachs Intl., a life peer under England's nobility scheme, and Christian theorist of "biblically based wealth creation." Just the man to explain how Goldman's taxpayer-financed bonuses are perfectly moral.

Yes! No one sent Andrew Cuomo the AIG bonus names, and the 4 p.m. deadline passed, so it's SUBPOENA TIME! Tar and feathers are going way up BUY BUY BUY! [Dealbook/NYT]

New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is giving AIG until four o'clock to name everyone who got a bonus Then the subpoenas drop! This is wonderful and hilarious grandstanding, thank you, Andrew.

Morgan Stanley and Citigroup got $60 billion in bailout cash, and they need to cut $1.1 billion from their budgets for their merger, so, naturally, they're paying $3 billion in bonuses for performance. Sorry, "awards."

Oh ho, it appears this global economic meltdown is having a deleterious effect on massive Wall Street bonuses! They were down 44-freaking-percent last year. Of course this will mostly hurt you, the poors.

It was a different time. Blame the old guy. I told you everything. Is there an excuse former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain hasn't trotted out to explain why his fall is not his fault?