book proposals

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'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
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jasonelias
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
I'm intrigued by Vince Vaughn, the crook in 1968. What kind of urban capers would he be doing? I'm sure that portion of the movie would be done with a Quincy Jones soundtrack. Can't wait! Oh, yes I can.
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Edited by jasonelias at 11/25/09 1:31 PM jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred

MrInBetween
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
So when did Vince Vaughn start carrying a half-keg inside his head?
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jasonelias
11/25/09

@MrInBetween: That is a big cranium. Not Rocky Dennis big, but oddly large.
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Edited by jasonelias at 11/25/09 1:32 PM jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred

Poop Cooper
11/25/09

@MrInBetween: It's simply an allergic reaction to downing dozens of beers while watching late night poker tournaments on ESPN. A few months of not doing that anymore should clear it right up.
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snugbug
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
So where's that part where the female protagonist teleports herself back to 1996 to meet hot, coked-up, motormouth Swingers-era Vince Vaughan?

I mean, if you're going to lose your mind over such a random celebrity as Vaughan, wouldn't you want to romance him at his actual peak?
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RollsRoyceRevenge
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
From The Very Secret Diaries of Edie Cortese:

Monday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. Wonder if he noticed? Tried to look out of the corner of my eye to see if the curtains on any of the windows were twitching, walked into lamp post. Pretty sure there was no curtain twitch. I hope.

Tuesday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. I love thinking of it as "Vince's house." I mean, it could be "Vince Vaughn's house," or "Mr. Vincent Vaughn's house," or "The home of the celebrated actor Vincent Vaughn." Or even "Fat Vinnie's Boss Crib." But "Vince's house" just sounds so cozy. Like something that was meant to be.

Wednesday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. I wonder if he would notice me if my name were Estella and we both were traveling through time together for thousands of years and he was a silk trader at some point, or maybe one of those Chinese kings who wore a hat shaped like a wooden shoe? Hmmm. This bears thinking about.

Thursday: Walked the dogs past Vince's house again. Mimsy laid a huge cable just at the foot of the driveway. I had to pick it up using some dead leaves. Ick.

Friday: I raced, screaming "I can't take it any more!' to Vince's house and hammered on the door, pleading and sobbing for him to open up the door, his heart, our lives, a new chapter in existence.

Some blonde who looked kind of strung out opened the door and told me this wasn't Vince's house, he lived over in Bel Air and her name was Courtney and did I want to hear her play this new song she'd been working on and did I think Yoko Ono was a great artist or a deranged bitch or maybe both. She kind of freaked me out, honestly.
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flathead
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
when did himself get a John Travolta fathead?
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jasonelias promoted this comment flathead was starred flathead was unstarred

jasonelias
11/25/09

@flathead: 2005-06 I'm thinking....
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honey's dead
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
Wow, that picture is making me feel something....something that reminds me of this, "She looked bloated, like a body long submerged in motionless water, and of that pallid hue. Her eyes, lost in the fatty ridges of her face looked like two small pieces of coal pressed into a lump of dough"
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snugbug promoted this comment honey's dead was starred honey's dead was unstarred

snugbug
11/25/09

@honey's dead: "The Faded Rose of Vince Vaughan."
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Spirit Fingers
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
Oh, I love when "writers" take absolute bullshit and try to pass it off as real literary work, because they may have, possibly, not ever, actually met a celebrity and now that should mean they can turn an imaginary conversation into a book (book of $millions!) that anyone with firing synapses would tell you is the lamest way to ever bastardize the publishing industry next to letting some moose hunter offer her rendition of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts.
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meechybee
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
Thanks Ravi. Now I'll have this scenario playing over and over in my head during my long flight today -- and no Dodgeball on my iPod.
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jupiterspaw promoted this comment meechybee was starred meechybee was unstarred

jupiterspaw
11/25/09

@meechybee: And for added bonus, combine this scenario with the soundtrack from Somewhere in Time playing over and over and over ...
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snugbug
11/25/09

@jupiterspaw: The eighteenth variation of Sergei Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini"! I love the Somewhere in Time reference--that was one of the first films I ever saw in a movie theater with my parents.. I've avoided it like the plague in my adult life, since I prefer to remember it as one of the greatest movies of all times!
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iplaudius
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
This will work if they can get Nicolas Cage for the male lead.
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snugbug
11/25/09

@iplaudius: Throw in John Malkovich as the female lead and I'm in.
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MrInBetween
11/25/09

@snugbug: And can we get Jon Favreau to play the zany OTHER stalker of Vince Vaughn who just wants to hang with him? Favreau would be sure-fire Oscar bait playing a down-on-his-luck poker cheat with a heart of gold.
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Knight_Of_The_Burning_River
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
Just think of how many times Vince could blow up, slim down, and blow up again in 1000 years. .....
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snugbug promoted this comment

econdave
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
I sure hope Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonez make the movie adaptation. Starring Vince Vaughn, of course.
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and_am
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
So would this be a new form of chick-lit? Stalk-lit, perhaps? Maybe that's how they should market the manuscript.
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DahlELama promoted this comment Edited by and_am at 11/25/09 10:56 AM and_am was starred and_am was unstarred

DahlELama
11/25/09

@and_am: "It's The Time Traveler's Wife meets a restraining order, with a soupçon of Selena."
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Edited by DahlELama at 11/25/09 12:18 PM DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred

jupiterspaw
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
Jennifer Aniston + non de plume = Edie Cortese.
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TabithaIapetus
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
"And then Vince Vaughn disappears."

She sold me with this one line.
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HaysiFantayzee
11/25/09

In reply to 'A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn'
Cripes. I don't expect CAA man will respond until he and Vince are back from the courthouse after filing a restraining order on Ms. Nutball.
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snugbug promoted this comment Edited by HaysiFantayzee at 11/25/09 10:48 AM HaysiFantayzee was starred HaysiFantayzee was unstarred

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