1) G-Force — $32.2. million
As we bemoaned earlier, the success of this film likely means that there will be many, many more awful animation/live-action hybrids to come. Oh, look! Here's one already! The thing about these movies that's really annoying is that because there are live action elements in them, the filmmakers seem to feel like, for some reason, they can be a bit more risque. Because, what?, adults are going to go because they want to see Jason Lee embarrass himself? Whatever the reasoning, it ends up with us having to see poop eating and stuff. Jokes that the classy Pixar and its classy-wannabes would never stoop to. Because animation is art. And live-action is everything else. So live-action/animation is... just pure shit. I mean poop. Eat it.

2) Harry Potter and the Dumbledore Dies — $30 million
Not that this movie is doing bad or anything. It's already grossed like $220 million in the States, not to mention the foreign box office, but still... This thing couldn't beat motherfucking G-Force? 'Tis a sad day for Potterville. Maybe number six is just too dark. What with the gloom and emotions and turmoil and people dying and stuff. Good thing no one dies in the last bo—... Oh. Oh wait. Shit. I mean poop.

3) The Awful Truth — $27 million
Even though this movie seems toxic and horrid, it still did pretty well. Even though Katherine Heigl has, somehow, squandered most of the good will she earned before/during/after Knocked Up, it still did pretty well. Even though Gerard Butler is nothing more than a poorly-accented talking leg of mutton, it still did pretty well. Even though John Michael Higgins and Cheryl Hines were crying all the way to the bank on this one, it still did pretty well. Even though there is no discernible reason why anyone, short of self-loathing masochists, would want to see this apparently dreadful "film", it still actually did really well. Poop. I mean shit.

4) Orphan — $12.8 million
DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE SUPER SECRET SPOILER ENDING. But why wouldn't you want to? Because it is awesome. Orphan is a movie about a secret dwarf who kills people. It is not about a creepy demon kid. It is not about a ghost possessing a child. It is not about a weird cult that pretends to be an orphanage. Nope. Orphan is about a secret hooker 33-year-old dwarf who kills people. It did pretty OK for a horror B-movie in the thick of gushy summer. A movie about a nearing-middle-age Estonian dwarf who kills people did pretty well against a movie about computer guinea pigs who solve crimes for real humans. SHIT.

11) (500) Days of Summer — $1.63 million
Ohhh twee indie success! Though only open on less than a hundred screens, this gimmicky and highly cultivated feature is doing a nice, tidy little business. We here at the Gawkerdrome didn't care for it as much as we hoped to. It just felt... way too forced. And really derivative (in a bad way) of the farrrrr superior Eternal Sunshine. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is like having a delicious chocolate-chip sundae talk to you, and other things look really pretty too, but as a whole it's just a far more conventional film than it seems to think it is. (It clearly thinks very highly of itself. And, sadly, it shouldn't.) Ah well. Good for it anyway.

1. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince — $79.5 million
Did you have to sit in the front row this weekend because all the cineplexes were packed with hooch-swillin hipsters and wonderment-enthusiasts? We did! But wasn't it grand (in spite of Snape's man bangs)

2. Ice Age: Dawn of The Dinosaurs — $17.7 million
What kind of fun-hating parent dragged their kid to see this CGI'd kind of dullness instead of Harry Potter this weekend? Shame on them! Is it because of Potter's pagan themes or sexually subversive undertones? It's a bewildering world when a project involving Dennis Leary is considered family friendly.

3. Transformers: Rise of the Fallen — $13.8 million
Bay's mediation on the illusory nature of plot still continues to resonate with movie goers. In the cacophony of noise and the visual abyss nestled between Megan Fox's chest orbs, the modern movie man can confront the terrifying absurdity of existence. I mean, it's tough now-a-days to get audiences to sit through an art flick so a drop to third place this week is still an admirable position to be in.

4. Brüno — $8.4 million
Aw, you guys remember Brüno? You know that hateful little mockumentary that shoved a mirror in Appalachia's meth ravaged face and said "Look! Look at what an ugly homophobic face you have!" And how we talked about it! As if it would be some kind of milestone in cinematic gay-straight relations. But now, just two weeks since Brüno's shoved his gadfly tushie in our bigoted faces, we realize that the culture has shifted beneath Brüno's Bavarian feet. Audiences don't seemed thrilled to witness others humiliated just to prove a political point.

5. The Hangover — $8.3 million
The man driven laffer continues to pull in the cargo-short set. And good for them! Warners hasn't made this much money with an R-rated summer comedy since Beverly Hills Cop — not to be confused with Beverly Hills Ninja which stared Chris Farley. Hm, is Zach Greekname the thinking man's Farley? Or is he like the hipsters' Eddie Murphy?

6. through 9. The Proposal Up My Sister's Public Enemies — various millions
Sandra Bullock's embargo on time travel movies has proved to be a wise decision with another $ 8.3 million for The Proposal this weekend. Public Enemies, Michael Mann's 2-hour love letter to boring made $7.6 million. What's Up is that Pixar is still being beautiful and rich at the box office with $ 3.1 million this weekend. And even though My Sister's Keeper, which made $2.8 million, looks like 90 minute paper cut we should all still think good thoughts about Abigail Breslin because she's just a walking glob of adorable talent.

1) Brüno — $30.4 million
While it started really strong on Friday with $14.4 million, the film didn't quite hold on the rest of the weekend, and eventually fell significantly below expectations. (Some had even hoped for $50 million). What this has to say about America and the Gays remains to be discussed in myriad thinkies on Slate or in the Times. For now, though, we'll just mention that the movie got a lousy C from CinemaScore, meaning word-of-mouth sales won't be nearly as high as they were for Borat. So a strong opening day, then a slight fizzle. It'll probably fall even more drastically next weekend.

2) Ice Age: Dawn of the Dead, Fallen Machines or Whatever — $28.5 million
Man oh man, people just love them some computer animated weird animals in weird situations saying weird things. We don't quite get why this movie is doing so well ($120 million in two weeks), considering it and its predecessors have so little aesthetic value. People just inexplicably love Ray Romano. That's the only answer. That's all it can be.

3) Transformers: Dinosaur Salvation or Whatever — $24.2 million
$339.2 million in three weeks! Egads. Is Ray Romano in this thing? Did people get confused when they saw John Turturro in the trailer and though it was Everybody's Raymond? Or, wait, I don't know any 14-year-old boys so I haven't heard much about this aspect of the movie, but does Megan Fox blow something up with her tits or something? Is that what it is? Does Megan Fox blow Ray Romano up with her tits? Wait, but then people would be mad and wouldn't want to see it. She blows Doris Roberts up with her tits, right? That must be it. That's it.

4) & 5) Public Enemies: Nothing After the Colon, Actually No Colon at All & The Proposal: Canadian and Fabulous — $14.1 million & $10.5 million
So Michael Mann's art house popcorn film lurches toward the $70 million mark, and we can't tell if that's a success or a failure! For a summertime Johnny Depp movie? Failure. For an artsy, high-def-shot crime picture with decidedly no robots or magic Explode-O-Tits? Success! Speaking of success, Sandra Bullock has trotted gamely across the $100 million line for the first time in nine years, so good for her. Crazy thing is, because now is such a different time than then, this flick is going to surpass Speed to be her biggest movie yet. I mean, Speed! That was a phenomenon! Money just means different things now. Sigh.

7) I Love You, Beth Cooper — $5 million
This Chris Columbus-directed annoyathon did decent business on 1,800 screens. It won't become some summer sleeper, we don't think, but it's not a complete disaster either. What this spells for Hayden Paneepenty or whatever's career, we're not sure. But we're scared it might mean good things. Or at least it doesn't mean bad things. Which is what we were hoping for. Bad things. Sorry. It's just... Heroes. Ugh.

1) Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs AND Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — $42.5 million
Apparently people wanted animated anachronisms just as much as they wanted animated inanity this weekend, as the film about dinosaurs returning because of secret caves many years after they'd gone extinct tied with the film about evil robots returning just a few years after they'd been defeated in street-destroying battle. In the five-day weekend release, Ice Age nabbed over $67 million, just a little bit more than Transformers earned in its first day alone. So while the dinos were able to co-rule the Earth this weekend, they'd have been crushed like so many Decepticon skulls had they tried these shenanigans last week. Plus Ice Age doesn't have a writhing, be-Daisy Duke'd mini-Jolie in it, does it? That'd be weird if it did.

3) Public Enemies — $26.2 million
Some grownups and curious skinny-panted budding young film nerds went to the movies too this weekend, helping the major studio art-house gangsta picture rob some $41 million from America's wallets. Unfortunately for the film's word-of-mouth prospects, it only earned a B from CinemaScore audience polling, meaning those grownups might not, in mid wine bottle opening, stop and say "Hank, what's the name of that movie we saw, with the pirate guy? About the mobsters?" [from another room] "Public Enemies!" "Right, right. Well, Susan, it was pretty exciting. Steve would love it I bet. Honey??? Wouldn't Steve love it???" [from another room] "Yeah, he would!" And those budding film geeks? They'll sit at Denny's at 1am and light a Camel Light and tousle their hair in faux deep thought and say "It's one of Mann's lesser films." And Dawn and Patrick will smirk and Allison will quietly swoon and then the waitress will come and they'll just order more coffee and man, this summer feels like forever.

4) The Proposal — $12.8 million
What do you think it's like to be a movie star going to the ATM? Like, you're walking down the street and want to go to lunch and figure you'll need some cash so you go to the nearest vestibule. And you type in your PIN and the thing asks you "This is going to cost $2, is that OK?" and you don't even think about it, press Yes, and then you take out $100 or something and it spits out your receipt or displays your balance on screen and it reads "$15,785,232." That's your checking account. I mean, that must be so fucking nuts. Well, anyway, Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are probably experiencing that right now, as their film chugs to the brink of the $100 million mark, and they're guaranteed at least another six weeks of stardom. People love Sandy Bullock, which we've known. People also love Ryan Reynolds, which we're just finally figuring out. Snarky sincerity, for the win.

5) The Hangover — $10.4 million
Yeah, I've had a $200 million hangover before too. I mean, that's how it felt. I didn't actually make two hundred million dollars off it. I didn't actually make any money. The grilled cheese delivery guy maybe gave me the wrong change and I made a buck or something. But, that's it. Sigh.

6) Up — $6.6 million
This is now the second highest grossing Pixar film ever. Finding Nemo still holds the top spot, because that was just a phenomenon. It was huge! Remember when that damn thing came out? Everybody was talking about the Nemo. "Where is he? Has he been found? Where do you think he went? Is he under this rock? Check your shoes, is he in there? What about the junk drawer? Allison, honey, before you meet your friends at the Denny's, look in the back of your closet. We gotta find this Nemo. Oh, and Steve, Hank and Linda called, they want to get together for dinner this week. Nemo? Nemo??? Where are you??" That was what it was like. Whereas in this case, Up is just balloon-buoyed by really expensive 3D tickets, I suspect.

Image via Getty

1) Transformers: Rise of the Fallen — $112 million
Well, actually, the damn thing grossed $200 million over its five-day opening weekend, making it the second biggest five-day haul ever, after last summer's The Dark Knight brooded through the box office. While the film doing well isn't a surprise in the least, the film doing this well is, um.... OK, not a surprise either. It has giant smashy robots! And pyramids! And, oh who the fuck cares about anything else, it has Megan Fox running and running and running and bouncing and running. Her hypnotic jiggles lulled the first Wednesday audiences into a stupor, compelling them to buy ticket after ticket after ticket this weekend. Actually, only about 500 people saw the damn thing nationwide. She's just that good.

2) The Proposal — $18.5 million
Girl, do they love them some Sandra Bullock! Holding on strongly with a mere 40% decline, this romantic comedy (with the emphasis, as is the case with most Bullock pictures, on comedy) has racked up a tidy little $69 million in just two weeks, which means it ought to teeter over the $100 million by the end of its run. Easily, perhaps. Good news for everyone involved, but most of all for Mary Steenburgen. Because why the hell not. She's just swell. Melvin & Howard 2, anyone?

3) The Hangover — $17.2 million
Naturally, the Hangover comes after the Proposal. But not too much after! As America stumbles its drunken way through yet another boozed-up summer (drinking outside = A. the reason man exists B. simply the best thing ever C. yes) they've turned to this wackadoo comedy to get the shakes off by shaking with laughter. Because he's weird in a funny way, we bet Zach Galifianakis is taking a bath in money right now. Ed Helms is probably just sitting on his porch in a rocking chair, whistling. And Bradley Cooper? Well, Bradley Cooper is probably on some sailboat right now, knee-deep in strange, writing love letters to his oft-beleaguered agent.

4) Up — $13 million
Because the little ones will get scared by giant robots chasing giant mammaries, confused by naked 45-year-old ladies chasing naked 32-year-old Canadians, and scarred by Mike Tyson chasing middle-aged men around Las Vegas, there had to be something else for them this weekend. Luckily Up has drifted through the box office for the past few weeks, collecting some $250 million in coins on its way. While children might end up being frightened of and made ponderous by the film's melancholic portrayal of the pains of life and loss, well pretty soon they're going to feel that every day of their lives, so they might as well get used to it in 3D animated form, dammit.

5) My Sister's Keeper — $12 million
This was the weekend's other "big" opener, a Jodi Piccoult weeper starring the strangely-cast Cameron Diaz and Jason Patric. Oh, plus Alec Baldwin, Abigail Breslin, the kid from Sarah Connor, and some other girl. It's about disease and dying and family and responsibility. But mostly it is about weeping. Yes, weeping in offices, weeping in cars, weeping at dinner tables, weeping in bedrooms, weeping with your arms outstretched as you ride a bicycle or something, weeping as you hug someone, weeping as you don't hug someone, weeping while on the can, weeping while not on the can, weeping for the future, weeping for the past, weeping for the ticket prices, weeping for the always-awkward moment when everyone has to shuffle out of the theater at the end of a sad movie (how are you supposed to act? so awkward!), weeping for pretty much everything there ever was. Mostly, weeping for yourself.

1) The Proposal — $34.1 million
Dag, you guys. People just really like Sandra Bullock. Ever since she nervously steered a speeding explode-O-bus around Los Angeles and everyone said "awww", the woman has been near-unstoppable. Yes there have been the sad little failures like Premonition and many other movies that exist that she's done, but here's something! A mid-summer romantic comedy with, yes, little competition that just barnstormed the fucker and won the weekend pretty handily. She beat the drunken, sad, lonely ugly boys of The Hangover, as she should have, and I guess you've Ryan Reynolds' chiseled Canadia-O-physique to thank too. Everyone likes to see Canadians pretend to be Americans while Americans pretend to be Canadians and then there's a party in Alaska with Betty White. That's just what people like.

2) The Hangover — $26.9 million
Dude. WTF. Could a summer comedy ever hope for this? Will a summer comedy demand this again? Yes, and yes, probably. Now that one alchemy witch-moment of summer film magick has occurred, like an incident at Owl Creek, ey'body's gonna try and reproduce it. I've said this before and will continue saying it so long as I'm under the employ of the Gawker Media thunderdome: Dudes like other dudes who like ladies and get drunk a lot. This is a fact like rain or terminal rickets. Some things exist in this world, other things don't. The Dudes abiding will always exist, like sand in your shoes at the end of the summer. Or like bearded men running, wild and frothing, through the Nevada desert. A constant. The Northern Star.

3) Up — $21.3 million
Oh, and people also like magical-mystical-wonderful-sad animated 3D movies about old men who learn to be young again. Everyone knows that Pixar films do well at the box office—they're basically guaranteed quality, and every parent from potato chip-sucking Decatur little league mom to NPR-marinated hippie-dip castoff Brooklyn dad will take their youngins—but this is a special case. Special because it's not based on anything and its concept, while High, isn't really the same as Cars Come Alive or Robots In Love. This story is weird and a bit sideways. But no one seems to mind. Because, look, balloons! And other wonderful things. That old man is learning to love again. Love!!

4) Year One — $20.2 million
Hm. Well, this didn't go as well planned. This is a movie that cost $60 million to make, which is ridiculous, and probably a lot more to market. Plus Jack Black is such guaranteed comedy money. Oh, well, wait. No, I guess he's really not. That was just a dream some of us had. Ah well. So was it the unreliable Black factor that made this movie underperform? Was it the headlining of minnowy nobody Michael Cera? Was is that Harold Ramis decided to make a romp through biblical stories and wayyy revisionist prehistory that no one really got the whole thrust of? Yes. To all of that.

5) The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 — $11.3 million
Oh dear. Something about this movie just didn't quite stick. Denzel fatigue? Travolta apathy? Perhaps yes. Also, what the damn hell is that title all about? I know it's been explained to me, and I believe it. But c'mon folks. You just don't title a summer movie like that. You just don't. No one wants to do a math problem here. We just want fucking popcorn.

Image via Getty

1) The Hangover — $33.4 million
Dude. Proving that word-of-mouth is more powerful movie mojo than any marketing trick, tool, or stratagem combined, this $35 million film has earned three times that much in just two weeks. Dropping only about 25% from last weekend's debut barnstorm, this thing is likely to keep going and going and going until it's earned over $200 million and everyone is fattened and wealthy and, yes, drunk. Would you have ever guessed that Heather Graham would be back in the top spot again? Or that Rachel Harris would ever be there for the first time? Or Mike Tyson? This is the stuff of comedy weirdo dreams and, oh lord yes, you can expect a long string of knock-offs. The K-Hole starring Breckin Meyer, anyone?

2) Up — $30.5 million
Lordy, this one can't be stopped either. Pic's already hauled in nearly $190 million, and it hasn't even opened overseas yet. Pixar has a proud history of stomping the international yard, and this flick ought to be no exception. Unless they can't get a good foreign guy to do a decent Ed Asner impression. Because that's really key. Also, Belgian people just don't like balloons. Don't ask them why. They just don't like 'em. And we all know how much the Japanese hate fat boy scouts. A lot.

3) The Taking of Pelham 123 — $25 million
Am I an idiot that I can't figure out just what the fuck subway car the thing is supposed to be? Is it on the 123 line? It doesn't look like it in the trailers. Maybe everyone else was confused too, because this movie just didn't open the way people had hoped it would. And it actually got some decent reviews. I guess the lesson is this: Denzel opens well in the spring or fall or winter, when he doesn't have slobby belching comedians and magic houses to contend with. And John Travolta? Well, I fear the era of John Travolta may have been mortally wounded around the time of Battlefield Earth and never quite recovered. That was when he finally teetered over the brink from kinda unhinged in a cool way (so great in Face/Off!) to just fucking weird and indulgent and completely unhinged in unpleasant way. That said, Old Dogs will do a billion dollars when it opens.

5) Land of the Lost — $9.6 million
Yeesh. This thing is basically dead now. With only some $35 million earned so far, the hundred-million-dollar movie will have to go big overseas (it won't—ferners don't really get our funny stuff) or do crazy on DVD (it won't—people will forget it even exists) to make any sorta profit. So, sad for everyone, but hopefully at least one good thing will come out of this. One hopes that the hideous trend that began maybe fifteen years ago of people looking at kitschy old TV shows and making movies out of them will end. I mean, yeah, The Brady Bunch Movie was kind of funny and... um... wait is that it? What am I forgetting? Lost in Space: Unbelievable trainwreck. Beverly Hillbillies: Un-fucking-watchable. Bewitched: Will, why? Starsky & Hutch: Maybe one funny joke. Miami Vice: Maybe sorta interesting, maybe also extremely boring. Basically what we're saying is: You sure you wanna do this, people producing The A Team?

6) Imagine That — $5.7 million
Buried by an almost completely-silent marketing campaign and then a raft of shitty reviews, the latest Eddie Murphy flop isn't even surprising. During his brief regaining of the BO crown—around the Nutty Professor/Dr. Doolittle age—Murphy's blend of crazy! and family seemed unstoppable. Now it's... entirely stoppable. Like less than $2,000 per screen on an opening weekend stoppable. I guess you have to respect Murphy for keepin' on plugging away. Maybe for every Imagine That or Meet Dave or Norbit there's also a... disappointing Oscar lose for Dreamgirls. Hey, at least you have The Incredible Shrinking Man and Beverly Hills Cop IV to look forward to, Eddie! At least there's... that.

1) Up — $44.2 million
Well, Pixar continues its terrifying and complete reign of supremacy. Their 3D South American jungle adventure—about an old man who captures a little boy in his floating balloon house and dangles him in front of dangerous animals—raked in another hefty sum. Part of that was due to the higher-priced 3D tickets, which are becoming all the rage. Pretty soon you'll be seeing Michael Haneke or Wong Kar Wai making meditative weirdo foreign films that Jump. Right. At You!

2) The Hangover — $43.3 million
Once the actuals are determined, this bro-bait sleeper hit could end up going over the top and beating those two gay balloon lovebirds. Either way, it's still an astoundingly strong debut for a movie that doesn't have any stars and has a strong R rating. Will this finally make Bradley Cooper a movie star? Will director Todd Phillips ascend to the ranks of Apatow and Stiller? "No" and "Maybe", would be my guesses. Who I'm most excited for, though, are Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis, two funny gents who ought to finally have some weight to throw around dusty old Hollywood. Since audiences gave the thing a can't-be-beat A CinemaScore, and as there's no direct competition on the near horizon, these drunken buffoons ought to stumble and belch their way safely through the next few weeks, unmolested.

UPDATE: Final tallies are in, and The Hangover did, in fact, beat Up this weekend, $45 million to $44.4 million. A photo finish! [Variety]

3) Land of the Lost — $19.5 million
Oh dear. Will Ferrell was back in the game with Step Brothers, but now he's right back out. Playing on almost 300 more screens than Hangover, it managed to gross less than half of that made-on-the-cheap flick's haul. Was it the bad reviews? Was it that no one could quite tell if it was a children's movie or for grownups? Was it that every gag in the commercials and trailers was gross and had to do with either blood, snot, or pee? I mean, "Matt Lauer can suck it!" was sorta funny, but that was... about it. I like Ferrell, so don't wish him failure, but this whole project always seemed a bit iffy as a bigtime summer competitor. Maybe if it came out in March or something. Then again, maybe not even then. It got a lousy C+ CinemaScore, which means no one will tell their friends to go and the thing will quickly disappear. Some call it banished to a land where things are... lost.

6) Terminator Salvation — $8.5 million
John Connor: The Yelling Chronicles finally crossed the $100 million mark! So good for them and the giganto Arnie robots and the filthy, soot-covered cherub nymph that is Anton Yelchin, and Moonwalker Bloodypants or whatever her name is, but most of all good for McG, who managed to take a great at best and decent at worst franchise and run it straight into the ash-strewn ground. Do you think he and Brett Ratner ever get together and talk about X-Men: The Last Stand and Salvation and sort of half chuckle, half weep for an hour or two, then drive off in their fancy cars to their mansions and eventually forget all about it? I'll bet they do.

9) My Life in Ruins — $3.2 million
A depressingly apt title. Poor Nia Vardalos flew so high seven years ago when her cheesy (feta!) little indie-that-could My Big Fat Joey Fatone slowly stormed the box office and, presumably, made her very very rich. But a failed TV series and a short string of guest spots later, her new sad Greek lady rehash has stumbled out of the gate with a lowly sum. Or has it? The flick's only playing on 1,164 screens, giving it a higher per-screen average than the number five film this week, the unstoppable Star Trek. So that could bode well for a slow burn, though the reviews haven't been as buoyant as they were for Big, Fat, plus there's no John Corbett. So maybe it is a fizzle. Ah well. Onto I Hate Valentine's Day, also about a sad Greek lady and... oho! John Corbett. Dynamite.

1) Night at the Museum 2: Panic! at the Smithsonian — $70 million
Now, that's $70 million over a four day period, from Thursday to Sunday. But, still. Huge numbers, biggest ever, in fact, for Stiller. And, if the funnyman and his golden boy writing team agree to it, the film's success just near about guarantees a threequel. Une Nuit à la Louvre, perhaps? Mona Lisa comes alive and smirks enigmatically at everyone (to be played by Anne Hathaway)! While Stiller's continued success seems increasingly smug and middlebrow, we are pleased for Lennon and Garant, who hopefully now will have the freedom to write the weirdest, profanest stuff they can dream up and still get a green light.

2) Terminator Salvation — $53.8 million
Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking movie down, in the middle of Memorial Day weekend? Then why the fuck are you giving my boring action flick bad word of mouth? Ah da da dah, like this, all over town. What the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it's fucking disappointing having somebody walking up behind someone in the middle of the fucking movie theater line and saying "Don't go see Terminator, cause it sucks"? Give me a fucking answer! What don't you get about it? Oh, so you saw Night at the Museum with your kid instead of my movie? Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fucking good, because it's useless now, isn't it?

3) Star Trek — $29.4 million
The force is still strong in this one! Hyperdriving to a lightsaber-hot $191 million in just a few weeks, the film is set to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs—a new record! Soaring high through the clouds of Bespin, this swashbuckling space opera is sending the competition barrel-rolling down into the murky swamps of Dagobah. Sy Snoodles will be singing this movie's praises for eons, like a beautiful pop culture icon being slowly digested over a period of a thousand years by the mighty Sarlacc.

4) Angels & Demons — $27.7 million
Well good for everyone here. The film dropped less than 60% in its second week at the rodeo. While international numbers are sure to remain high for a lil' bit, this installment of the Dan Brown every-chapter-ends-with-a-cliffhanger-just-like-Fear Street religio-mystery series will not come close to its predecessor The Da Vinci Code's big returns. But no one really expected to, and every summer one or two movies do just OK, mostly lost and forgotten in the sea of churning robots and angry wizards and troubled museum guards who—wait, why is he in DC now?

5) Dance Flick — $13.1 million
A new generation of Wayans is welcomed into our hearts, as this a-few-years-too-late parody of films like Save the Last Stomping for When It's Time to Step Up does solid numbers in a super-crowded holiday weekend. We're pretty excited for the upcoming spoof Holiday-Time Family Cameo Comedy, in which Marlon Wayans Jr. plays a museum guard who must suddenly become a dad while driving a taxicab full of alien kids and then it's all 3D animation and Seth Rogen and a bunch of SNL people (or people pretending to be them, hilariously!) show up and everyone chuckles and forgets what they saw thirty minutes after leaving the theater.