First, Mr. Brown updated the [Doublemint "Double your pleasure"] jingle and recorded it with hip-hop producer Polow Da Don. Then, during the same Los Angeles recording sessions in February, paid for by Wrigley, Mr. Brown added new lyrics and made a 4½-minute rendition of the tune, titled "Forever."

In April, Mr. Brown's record label, Jive, released the song to radio stations and digital download services as a single. After the song became a hit, Jive added it to his 2007 album, "Exclusive," and re-released the album in June. "Forever" reached No. 4 on Billboard magazine's Hot 100 chart last week.

This was all done in secret. Tomorrow the company holds a big press conference revealing the whole scam, presumably with the expectation that music fans will clap with delight and declare Wrigley to be their new favorite gum manufacturer. I would suggest that the more fitting response would be a bonfire of Doublemint, angry sloganeering, and boycotts of the company and Chris freaking Brown and his record label.

The man who came up with this whole scheme was, predictably, Steve Stoute, who specializes in hooking up corporate America and "urban" America through terrible marketing partnerships. Although this is certainly the masterpiece of engineered selling-out of Stoute's career.

Here's why this is important: It will be the first of many. It will usher in a new standard way of doing business. It will erode the public's expectation of what "music" is. In a few years, kids won't see any problem with the fact that all of their favorite songs are ads for one company or another. The very idea that music—pop music, anyhow—could be created purely for the sake of artistic expression will be antiquated.

And who does it hurt? THE CHILDREN. This is insidious shit. Huge corporations are reaching out to children by buying up their favorite musicians in secret. As saddening as it is to see an artist you like do a regular commercial for some crappy product, its ten times sadder to see them spring it on you after their song has already become a hit.

This is not about a naive belief that pop music is untainted by any commercial concerns. This is about the simple desire to be able to listen to any new music and be secure in the knowledge that it's not an undercover ad. They come for the bad pop music first. Then they come for the music that you like. You think that your favorite indie bands and underground rappers won't be subjected to this same tactic as soon as it proves successful? Ha. This is one tactic that just can't be justified. At least tell us we're being sold to, you shameless, soulless corporate apologists. Some people still believe that music is worth something by itself.

Boycott Wrigley, please.

[WSJ. You can contact Wrigley here.]

MEDIA ADVISORY

Staten Island Organization calls for Boycott of Belmar New Jersey
if Mayor fails to visit Staten Island

Staten Island, New York- John "JE" Englebert President of the Staten Island Good Neighborhood Association is calling for a boycott of Belmar New Jersey by Staten Islanders. An apology is not good enough. The group wants the Mayor Kenneth Pringle who insulted Staten Island to spend 24 hours in the crown island jewel of New York. He would be treated to the local cuisine including a night at the Staten Island Hotel. The Staten Island Good Neighbor Association wants to take him on a tour of the place people love to dump on.

If he refuses the group plans a fundraiser to give for the candidate that runs against him in the next election and boycott ads will be placed in local newspapers across Staten Island. The groups website is http://www.statenislandgoodneighborhoodassociation.com

"JE" Englebert is a life-long resident of Staten Island. He is owner of New York City nightclubs including Suzie Wong and Prime. The Organization is a non political group that is dedicated to the health, safety and well being of Staten Island. It acts as a community watch dog organization for good government and civic activities for the people of Staten Island.

Some of what the mayor wrote [via Newsday]:

The more time we spend on the NJGuido site, the more we think of Guidos as a kind of rare bird: they flock to our shore towns during the warm months, and are as welcome as, oh, Canada Geese. They're always tanned to the color of coconut shells, and easily identified by their plumage: satin shirts and short skirts on the females; Armani Exchange T-shirts and artfully distressed jeans on the males. The females favor bold hair styles and colorful makeup; the males tend to strut and flex their pumped up muscles. The call of the Guido is bellowing, and frequently slurred, invariably starting with the sound, "Yo," followed all too often by some creative variation on an expletive beginning with the letter, "F."

On Friday, The A.P. issued a statement defending its action, saying it was going to challenge blog postings containing excerpts of A.P. articles “when we feel the use is more reproduction than reference, or when others are encouraged to cut and paste.” An A.P. spokesman declined Friday to further explain the association’s position.

Now they're not setting these standards yet, and they say they won't go around suing bloggers, but that has not stopped outraged internet people from announcing their intention to give the AP exactly what they want. It's boycott time! Jeff Jarvis will fuck you up.

* Remember, AP, you declared war on the bloggers. Remember that.

* I don’t really give a damn what your guidelines are. I have my own guidelines. I stated them below. The point of fair use and fair comment is that there can be no set guidelines. That’s just ridiculous.
[...]
* One last bit of advice for the AP before I get on my plane: Back off.

The moral here is that no one understands fair use, at all. Not the copyright holders, or the bloggers. Or the courts?

Will Gawker join the boycott? Yes. From now on the only wire service we'll link to is UPI, because their reports have that hint of nutty Moonie-owned desperate madness that we love.

Christian Group Denounces Starbucks

Over New Logo of Naked Mermaid

(San Diego, CA) Starbucks has recently introduced a new version of their logo which features a topless mermaid with her legs spread, which has caused outrage from a nation wide Christian media watchdog organization. The Resistance, with has over 3000 members nationwide, is boycotting Starbucks across the country saying their new logo is inappropriate.

The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute, explains Mark Dice, founder of the group. Need I say more? It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks.

The all-brown logo is a replica of the one the chain used when it opened its first store in Pike Place in Seattle in 1971. The woman is actually a siren, not a mermaid, which in Greek mythology lures people to them with their beautiful songs, and then kills them, explains Dice.

The Resistance has made international news for rebuking various Hollywood celebrities for their ridiculous behavior, including Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, 50 Cent, Tom Cruise and others. They also demanded that Duke University change the name of their Blue Devils sports team to something not offensive to the Christian community.

# # #

[What about asking them for some lemons while you're at it, Resistance?]

Ford targets German lesbians:

As well as German gays:

Jaguar has no problem with gay customers [via Queerty]:

Volvo invites homosexuals to purchase their products:

Yea yea, it's all part of capitalism. Everything pure eventually gets taken over for monetary gain. We're all familiar with the thriving Che Guevara t-shirt industry. That doesn't make it any less objectionable. [Nike-owned] Converse's new campaign, "Connectivity," shows Dr. Gonzo side by side with a bunch of living and dead "icons," including the Sex Pistols' deceased frontman Sid Vicious, who would no doubt also be pleased to make a contribution to the sneaker industry. See, HT and Sid are "connecting" to basketball player Dwyane Wade and globo-hip-hop singer M.I.A, all for the love of the Converse brand!

So what if Hunter Thompson wore Converse on his dirty feet when he was alive? "Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of 'the rat race' is not yet final," he wrote in 1979. Dude, Converse is so about that too! It kind of makes you want to puke. But mostly it makes you sad.

It's not an across-the-board condemnation. Some celebrities were shiny commercial vehicles during their lives, and keeping them at it after they pass away isn't really sullying anything. Fred Astaire and Lucille Ball have made ghostly ad appearances, but would they really be upset, judging by their level of celebrity while alive? Not quite as clear-cut as Sid Vicious, who, if he stood for anything besides drugs and self destruction, probably stood for "Fuck the system." Which, it turns out, is exactly the image people want in their cheap canvas shoes.

Consider Apple's "Think Different" campaign: Martin Luther King, Einstein, Gandhi. Being used, indirectly, to sell computers. On the scale of disgust, it would have to rank lower than Converse's crime, because at least the "Think Different" spots were promoting some faux-version of peace on earth and goodwill among men. Whereas if one were to emulate Hunter Thompson by, say, sniffing a ton of coke, dropping acid, and running up in the Converse corporate headquarters shooting a shotgun at the company logo, the company would probably lose its enthusiasm for the implications of their endorsements.

Whenever the dead stop messing around in the afterlife and come back to earth in zombie form, they won't be happy about this. Zombie Gonzo will be dining on the bursting brains of the young cool creative minds that dreamed up his ad appearances. And we should all want a bite.

This is exactly why I only wear Adidas.